Читать книгу The Redemption Of Lillie Rourke - Loree Lough - Страница 13
Оглавление“IT’S SO SWEET of you to do this for me, Jason.” Whitney giggled. “You’ve been so sweet about chauffeuring me around that I don’t feel the slightest bit helpless.”
“Helpless? You?” Jase laughed. Somehow, she’d managed to keep her sweet and sensitive side intact, even while working with the associates and partners at a high-powered law office. Everyone in his life knew how much he disliked being called Jason, yet Whitney had never referred to him any other way.
“You really don’t mind spending your entire day helping me run errands?”
She’d asked, and given him ample opportunity to say no. Wouldn’t be right to hold her feet over the fire now, just because boredom had him counting all the things he could be doing instead.
“I know what it’s like when your car is in the shop.” Not exactly an answer to her question, but it beat hurting her feelings with the truth.
“I can’t believe all this traffic! It’s three in the afternoon. On a Thursday. Why aren’t people at work?”
“We aren’t,” Jase said, chuckling.
“No. No we aren’t, are we. And I’m one hundred percent grateful that you took the day off, just for me!”
Her good-natured disposition was refreshing, especially compared with other women he’d dated: the librarian, who couldn’t talk about anything but books; the boutique owner, who tried—and failed—to dress him like a Gatsby character; the PE teacher who ate nothing but nuts and grains...and expected him to follow suit; and the pièce de résistance, the cellist with the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra, who thought he’d appreciate sitting in her living room...while she practiced her portion of Johann Pachelbel’s “Canon in D Major.”
“It’ll be so nice, having my watch back again.”
Whitney giggled, a pleasant enough sound, but it didn’t begin to compare with Lillie’s musical laughter. Jase flinched inwardly. It had been months since he’d had a positive thought about Lillie. Better clear your head, fool...
“I rarely wear mine anymore,” he said, steering into the right lane.
“I must seem like a dinosaur. Everyone but me uses their cell phones these days.”
“Yeah, but when you want to know what time it is, all you have to do is glance at your wrist. The rest of us have to find our phones.” Whitney was one of the most pulled-together women he’d had the pleasure of knowing. So why did she feel the need to defend herself all the time?
Because you’re doing something to make her feel that way. What, he couldn’t say.
“At least this stop kills two birds with one stone.” Whitney unbuckled her seat belt. “You know, since the Flower Basket is right next door to St. John’s Jewelers.”
In the rearview mirror, he saw a red SUV. He’d parked beside it enough times to recognize it as Lillie’s dad’s. Liam had probably decided to grab a bouquet for Amelia as an early Mother’s Day gift. Jase backed into a space directly across from the shop’s entrance as Whitney said, “I can’t decide whether to get Patsy a green plant or a spray of roses.”
Her best friend, who’d been at Johns Hopkins for nearly a week.
“I’m sure Patsy will be happy with either.”
And that was when he noticed someone in Liam’s passenger seat.
Not just someone.
Lillie.
His heart beat a little harder.
“I’m thinking a plant—” Whitney continued, one hand on the door lever “—so she can take it home with her. Which, unless she spikes a fever or something, should be in a day or two.”
“Yeah. Mmm-hmm. Right,” he muttered, watching as father and daughter exited the car.
The shop was cute—as flower shops went—and small. No way could he avoid running into Lillie in there. Or introducing her to Whitney. She’d been gone more than a year, no note, no call, not even a text message. For all he knew, she’d moved on, too. So why did he dread seeing her after all this time? And why was his heart beating double-time now?
“Wouldn’t it be better to take care of your watch battery first? You know, so the plant won’t sit in the hot car and, uh, wilt?”
That giggle again. And then Whitney placed her hand atop his on the gearshift. “It’s May, Jason, and seventy degrees, not ninety.”
“Yeah, but the sun is beating down like it thinks it’s August. Only takes ten minutes for the truck’s interior to reach one hundred degrees on a day like this.”
She wasn’t buying it. If he didn’t do something quick, he’d find himself in the Flower Basket, introducing his could-be fiancée to his ex-fiancée.
Whitney made a habit of putting her cell phone into his console’s cup holder, and he used it to his advantage. In one swift move, he backhanded it to the floor.
“Aw, man, sorry, Whit.”
She frowned—or as close to a frown as the always-pleasant Whitney got—and leaning forward, said, “No harm done, Jason. The floor is carpeted.”
For safe measure, he reached for it, too. But instead of retrieving it, he batted it under the passenger seat.
“Aw, man. I’m such a klutz!”
While she bent down, patting the floor mat in search of her phone, Jase looked up...
...and saw Lillie.
And his heart beat like a parade drum.
Her long auburn waves were chin-length now, and in place of her customary jeans, T-shirt and sneakers, she’d worn a gauzy calf-length skirt that billowed with every puff of the wind. She had on matching yellow shoes that looked like ballet slippers and a puffy-sleeved blouse with ruffles at the wrists. She still walked like a woman who knew where she was going, head up and arms swinging slightly. Marilyn Monroe–style sunglasses hid big eyes that couldn’t decide if they were brown or green, and if he knew Lillie, she’d applied a hint of shadow and just enough mascara to showcase those long lashes.
“There,” Whitney announced, “got it. Finally!”
He half ran to her side of the pickup and opened the passenger door. “First stop, jewelry store?” Taking her hand, he helped her to the pavement.
Grinning, she pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. “All right, Jason, whatever you think best.”
With any luck, Lillie hadn’t seen the kiss.
With a little more luck, he’d figure out where that crazy thought had come from. Lillie was a part of his past. It had taken a while, but his life was on track again, and Jase aimed to keep it that way.
“Thank you,” Whitney said.
“For what?”
“For helping me figure out what to get you for your birthday.” She shouldered her purse and smiled up at him.
It took a conscious effort not to look into the flower shop, where by now Lillie and her dad were searching out just the right gift for Amelia.
“My birthday isn’t until July.”
“Oh, I’m not waiting that long. This old buggy of yours needs running boards. I’m five foot six, and I feel so short getting in and out of it.”
“Ah. So my birthday present is really for you,” he teased.
Lashes fluttering, Whitney said, “Can I help it if that’s the way you choose to look at it?”
He followed her into the shop and breathed a sigh of relief when she marched straight up to the counter. Maybe he could talk Whitney into going to the florist in the Columbia Mall, too. That could work, especially if he suggested they grab a bite to eat while they were there.
His relief was short-lived, thanks to the sudden nerve-racking thought that Liam might want to buy jewelry for Amelia, to go along with the flowers...and Lillie might go into the jewelry story with him.
More determined than ever to talk Whitney into going straight to the mall, he leaned into the display case behind him. Whitney was asking for a new watch battery. She didn’t use her hands, like Lillie always had. Once, he’d asked if some Italian blood coursed through the Rourke clan. She’d responded with a thick-brogued, “Yer ears must be on upside down, Jase Yeager! M’bloodline is pure green, I tell you!” And he’d grasped her wrists, pulled her close and kissed—
“What are you smiling about?” Whitney asked.
Standing up straight, he crossed his arms over his chest and said, “Told you it’d take longer than ten minutes to change your battery.”
“The woman isn’t sure it is the battery.” She glanced toward the doorway that led to the repair shop. “I hope they’re wrong. My grandparents gave it to me when I graduated from the U of M. I’d hate to think it’s irreparable.”
The University of Maryland was his alma mater, too. He’d started on a degree in communications. His dad had pointed out that it would limit his choices in the job market, though, and as usual, the old man had been right. The BA in business had been instrumental in helping him organize and grow his mother’s company.
“I’m sure they can fix it.”
“I’m sure you’re right.”
Standing close beside him, she rested her hip against his as she continued staring at the narrow doorway, arms and ankles crossed, just like his. Whitney had always been accommodating. No matter what he suggested, from restaurants to movies, from ballgames to staying home and watching old movies, she’d been agreeable. She was pretty. Hardworking and smart. He liked her. But...why couldn’t he feel something more for her, something deeper?
She took his hand and aimed his forefinger at a bracelet, glittering under the bright overhead lights.
“Isn’t that just gorgeous!”
She’d been hinting that their relationship had passed from “just dating” to serious. But not nearly serious enough for diamonds, he thought.
Jase grinned at her. “I suppose...if you’re into glitz and glam.”
She moved farther down the display case, pointing out earrings, pendants and anklets that matched the bracelet. When she maneuvered toward the rings, Jase pretended to scratch an itch beside his nose as an excuse to let go of her hand, because she’d zeroed in on a square-cut solitaire, nearly identical to the one in his sock drawer. The one he’d given Lillie shortly after her release from physical therapy. The one she’d returned after he called her on the carpet for taking the guys’ money.
Whitney continued examining the glass cases until she reached the presentation of men’s watches. “This one is nice, isn’t it?”
He nodded, though he’d barely seen it. Jase was too busy remembering the night he gave the ring to Lillie...the week after her release from the PT facility and two weeks before her twenty-sixth birthday. They’d just finished a close-harmony rendition of an Eagles tune when he asked the audience to share in some good news...and held up the tiny blue velvet box.
Lillie’s big eyes had grown round and wide as she stood, grinning and blinking under the spotlight. Then she’d grabbed the mic and faced the band. “I think he’s trying to tell us we’re doing ‘Blue Velvet’ next.”
Jase smiled at the memory.
Whitney rapped on the glass counter. “Jason? Would you ever wear a man’s bracelet, like this one?”
“Nah,” he managed, his mind still fogged by the fond memory...
Whistles and applause had filled Three-Eyed Joe’s pub. “Quit beatin’ around the bush,” the Muzikalees’ drummer said into his mic.
“Ned’s right,” Spence agreed, playing a run on his guitar. “Pop the question why don’t you, so we can get back to work!”
“What about a necklace?” Whitney wanted to know.
“Nah,” he repeated, “I’m not much into trinkets.” He tried to focus on the thick gold chain, but what he saw was Lillie, opening the little box, smiling past glittering tears as she handed him the ring and waited for him to put it on her finger.
“Yes,” she’d said matter-of-factly. Then, more emphatically, “Yes.” And standing on tiptoe, she’d nearly knocked him over with a powerful Lillie hug.
When he kissed her, a patron yelled, “Atta boy, Jase! Atta boy!” And he’d barely heard the applause because—
“Have you ever considered wearing an earring?”
Jase shook his head, hoping to rid himself of those memories.
“Well? Would you?”
“Me? A pierced ear? Like a pirate?” He forced a laugh. “Have you met me?”
Whitney laughed, too, then exhaled a feminine groan. “You are the most difficult man to buy a gift for!”
“You know I’m not big on gifts.” He pulled her into a light hug. “Besides, a little bird told me I’m getting running boards this year.”
She blushed prettily and would have kissed him if the clerk hadn’t said “Ms. Hendricks?”
Whitney went to the counter, and while she and the jeweler discussed the watch, Jase faced Route 40. Cars, trucks and motorcycles bulleted past. Then he noticed that his passenger window was down. Not partway, but all the way. Whitney must have accidentally hit the button while searching for her phone. “Payback,” he murmured, and stepped up beside her.
“I left the truck window open and it looks like rain. Be right back,” he told her. And without waiting for a reply, Jase palmed his keys and made his way to the parking lot...
...and crashed into Lillie, crushing a long-stemmed flower between them.
“Jase?” Her voice was barely a whisper.
He felt like an idiot when he replied, “Lillie...”
“Dad and I were just picking up a few things for Mom.”
Liam, standing beside her, said, “Good to see you, son. What brings you all the way to Ellicott City?”
He transferred the keys from his right hand to his left and resisted the urge to glance into the jewelry store. “Just...just running errands. Sunday’s Mother’s Day...”
Lillie smiled as Liam chuckled. “Yeah,” he said, showing off his bouquet, “we heard.”
Jase stepped back, asking Lillie how badly he’d crushed her purchase.
She gave the orchid a quick once-over. “It’s fine.”
“Are you sure? Because I’m happy to go right back in there and buy a replace—”
Lillie silenced him with a tiny smile. “Really. Orchids are tougher than they look, kinda like the daisies Dad bought...” She winked at her father. “Because he thinks they’re Mom’s favorites.”
While Liam chuckled, Jase remembered that once, they’d been Lillie’s favorites. “They’re tough,” she’d say, “like me.” The proof could be found on anything that would hold ink: envelopes, napkins, cash register receipts... Given enough time, the thing would be covered with doodles of daisies, jagged-edged leaves and curlicue vines swirling between the blossoms. But that had been before the accident.
Get it together, dude. “When did you get home?”
“I just picked her up at the Greyhound station. My girl, here, wanted to stop on the way home. Get a little something for her mom.”
“Ellicott City is hardly on the way home to Fells Point...”
“I know,” Lillie said, “but this place is owned by the parents of a girl I graduated with. Anyway, you know I like shopping at mom-and-pop stores when I can. Besides, no telling when I’ll get a chance to go shopping, and I wanted to bring something nice to Mom. Dad says she’s been cooking and baking for days to welcome me home, so...”
She’d never been one to ramble, not even when nervous, but Jase supposed a lot of things about her had changed in the year she’d been gone.
“Well, I think the flower is real nice. I’ll bet your mom will think so, too.”
She’d focused on something over his left shoulder, and Jase turned just as Whitney closed the distance between them.
“Well, it’s all fixed,” she announced, holding up a tiny black bag. Linking her arm through his, she pressed close to his side. “Turns out it was just the battery after all. You were right. I got myself all worried over nothing.”
She fixed her gaze on Liam. “Mr. Rourke, right?”
Lillie’s dad extended a hand. “Good to see you again, Whitney. And please, call me Liam.” He drew Lillie into a sideways hug. “I don’t think you’ve met my daughter. Lillie, this is Whitney.”
Jase felt Whitney stiffen, and from the corner of his eye saw the slight lift of her chin.
“Lillie? The Lillie?”
Had Whitney intended to make it sound as though she knew all the gory details of Lillie’s recent past? Because nothing could be further from the truth. Each time Whitney had pressed for information about former relationships, Jase steered the conversation in a different direction. Not to protect her so much as to spare himself the memories. Except once, early in their relationship, when she’d found a framed photo in his desk drawer. “You loved her a lot didn’t you?” Whitney had asked, staring at it. When he didn’t respond, she’d added, “So? What’s her name?” Somehow, he managed to grind out “Lillie.” Things got real quiet between them for the rest of that evening. But thankfully, the subject never came up again.
A fly buzzed by his head, rousing him from the memory.
“Yes,” he said, “this is Lillie. We go way back.” The image of the first time he saw her flashed in his mind. As manager of Three-Eyed Joe’s and leader of the Muzikalees, he’d hired her on a probationary basis, thinking a girl singer would encourage a less rowdy crowd. From the instant she’d walked into the pub, Lillie had a positive impact on the place. The guys in the band quit cussing. People on the dance floor didn’t bring their drinks with them. The bartenders and waitresses picked up on her sweet, upbeat demeanor, and served customers, even the surly ones, with smiles.
“Well, it’s been lovely seeing you again, Liam, and meeting you, Lillie,” Whitney said, “but Jason and I have a few more errands to run before we change for dinner at Sabatino’s.”
He’d all but forgotten their dinner plans. But the way she’d put it made it sound as if they were living together. And they most definitely were not. Lillie’s eyes widened, exactly as they had when she pressed the engagement ring into his palm that night. Despite their history, he didn’t like seeing her hurt.
“Sabatino’s, eh?” Liam said. “That’s one of our favorite restaurants in Little Italy.”
Lillie, Jase noted, said nothing. Their favorite restaurant had always been Chiaparelli’s, because they made great gnocchi.
“Well, good seeing you two,” he said, shaking Liam’s hand. To Lillie, he said, “See you around, kiddo.”
If that look on her face was any indicator, Lillie was thinking, Not if I have anything to say about it!
“Does Dad have your contact information?”
Jase decided that mind reading wasn’t among his hidden talents.
“Sure do,” Liam said as Whitney pressed closer to Jase’s side. “Why?”
When Lillie’s big dark eyes locked on his, Jase had to remind himself to breathe. There had been a time when a look like that would have inspired him to—
“Good. I’ll be in touch,” she told him. “Is there a best time to call?”
“No, no, anytime’s fine.”
And with that, he let Whitney turn him around. Let her lead him across the parking lot, let her take his keys. The quiet beep indicated the doors were unlocked, effectively snapping him out of his reverie. If she offered to drive, well, he’d just have to draw the line at that.
She sat quietly for a few minutes, then said, “She’s even prettier in person.”
As he merged with traffic on Route 40, he silently agreed.
“How old is she?”
The question took him by surprise. “I dunno, twenty-seven, twenty-eight?”
“I should ask her what skincare products she uses. She doesn’t look a day over twenty.”
Should’ve seen her the night she left, Jase thought. By then, months of abusing her body with drugs and booze had taken a toll, painting dark circles beneath her eyes, turning her normally pink-cheeked, freckled face pale, dulling her once bright eyes. She’d lost some hair, too, and had taken to wearing knit hats and scarves, even in the summertime. And the tremors... She’d needed two hands to return the ring.
“Why do you suppose she wants to call you?”
To talk about a repayment plan? “We didn’t exactly part on a good note. I expect she wants to correct that. You know, for closure?”
He braked for a traffic light. Two more blocks, and they’d turn onto her street so she could dress up for the restaurant. Maybe his luck would continue, and she’d change her mind about eating out...
“When she calls, will she want to meet in person? To discuss...closure or whatever?”
“Guess we’ll have to wait until she calls to find out. If she calls.”
“If?”
Oh, she’d call, all right. And unless he was mistaken, it would be to discuss the money she owed him. In his mind, the balance was zero. He’d written it off ages ago. But...
“Anything’s possible,” he told Whitney, quickly adding, “Can we change the subject, please?”
When he pulled into her driveway, she sat, still and silent, staring through the windshield. It seemed like a full ten minutes before she said, “Would you mind very much if we skipped Sabatino’s tonight?”
“Why?” As if you don’t know.
She unbuckled her seat belt. “It’s just... This has been a long week. I just need a good night’s sleep.”
He could have pointed out that it was only Thursday. That neither of them had worked today. But since she’d said it all without looking in his direction...
Jase felt like a heel. She was so uncomfortable she couldn’t even make eye contact. He needed to take care from here on out. He didn’t want to hurt her.
“I didn’t mean for that to come out all mean and grouchy.”
The look she gave him said “Oh, really.” But she said, “Can you come in for a few minutes?”
He wanted to say no. That he was tired, too. What if that brief encounter with Lillie had made her add two and two...and come up with three’s a crowd?
“Sure,” he said, turning off the truck, taking his time while removing the keys from the ignition. “I’d like that.”
“Leave the front door open,” she said as he stepped into the foyer. “It’s a gorgeous day, and the breeze will feel good.”
The gray sky and the scent of impending rain didn’t agree.
Whitney poured two glasses of iced tea and sat at the kitchen table. The instant he was situated, she said, “I guess that was really hard. Seeing her after all this time, I mean.”
“Not really.”
“You can be honest with me, Jason. No need to tiptoe around my feelings. I know that what you two had is over.”
Jason. Again. Would she ever figure out how he felt about that?
“So you’re okay?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
She looked at him as though he’d grown a big hairy mole in the middle of his forehead.
“From what I’ve gathered, the breakup wasn’t easy on you.”
Jase had intentionally avoided talking about Lillie, as much to spare his feelings as hers. Because yes, the split had been difficult, for him and for Lillie.
“Who told you that?” he wanted to know.
“Your mom. And Dora.”
He found it hard to believe his mother would bring the subject up. And even though Whitney worked at the same firm as his brother, his sister-in-law, too. He suspected Dora hadn’t talked about it either. But why would Whitney make that up?
He swallowed a gulp of the tea. Concentrated on sounding cool and calm and completely in control. “How’d Lillie’s name come up?”
Head tilted toward the ceiling and eyes closed, she groaned. “We... It just did, okay? Dora and Drew and I were having lunch one day. Drew admitted he was frustrated at how long it’s taking to make partner, said the board’s lack of commitment to the associates was getting on his last nerve. One thing led to another, and before I knew it, the conversation went from work, to family loyalty, to Drew and Dora’s upcoming anniversary. And all of a sudden, Drew left the room.”
Jase pretended not to have heard the family loyalty thing. “Seven years this summer.” He was half joking when he added, “Drew isn’t worried about the seven-year itch, I hope.”
“No, no. At least, I don’t think so. While we were alone, Dora told me that your mom keeps asking why she and Drew hadn’t started a family yet. Dora said she’d grown super tired of answering the question. She said—and I quote—‘I told her that my name isn’t Lillie. Living the white-picket-fence life isn’t for me.’ I asked how your mother reacted. Dora said, ‘Same as always. Colette just shrugged it off, said everything happens for a reason, and how lucky Jase was that Lillie’s problems prevented the picket-fence life.’”
Whitney sipped her tea. “I think maybe your mother was right.”
“Really.” Jase stiffened. He didn’t like being the focus of a conversation like that. Didn’t like the way Whitney appeared to enjoy his mother’s feelings toward Lillie either.
“It’s easy to see why she feels that way. She probably knows how tough it would have been for you, raising a child alone, while Lillie was off...well, you know...”
Jase did his best to reel in the resentment broiling in his gut. Whitney had no right, making assumptions about her! Yeah, he did know Lillie. Probably better than she knew herself. If they had married and had a baby before the accident, she never would have grown dependent on drugs, no matter how bad the pain got. Devotion to her child would have assured it. It hurt more than he cared to admit that her devotion to him hadn’t been enough to keep Lillie from—
“When I saw you with her today,” Whitney said, picking at her burlap place mat before turning her gaze to him, “I realized I needed to let you know...I’d never hurt you that way. Never.” Jase bristled slightly under her intense scrutiny. Was she gearing up to say she loved him? He hoped not. They’d been seeing each other for nearly three months, and while he cared for Whitney, he wasn’t anywhere ready to say those words.
Jase blanketed her hands with his own. “You look really pretty today. Did I tell you that?”
A myriad of emotions flickered across her face. Confusion. Disappointment. Hurt. To her credit, Whitney got hold of herself quickly.
“Only four or five times,” she said. “But what girl doesn’t like hearing her guy thinks she looks good!”
Lillie didn’t. She’d waved off every word of praise that came her way, whether about her good looks or her vocal and artistic talents. “I can’t take credit for any of that,” she’d say. “It’s built into my DNA. My parents and grandparents should be hearing the compliments, not me!”
“You sure you don’t want to go to Sabatino’s? We still have the reservation.”
“Yeah, okay,” she said, echoing his earlier words. “I’d like that.”
He squeezed her hands, then let go as she stood.
“Just give me a few minutes to freshen up.”
While she was gone, he walked from the kitchen to the living room, where she’d arranged sleek, modern furnishings on a white shag rug. Tall narrow black figurines stood on the marble mantel, and heavy swirled-glass bowls decorated the teak coffee table. He could see storm clouds through the sheer white curtains.
“You about ready, Whit? Looks like we’re in for some rain...”
“Just two more minutes, hon,” he heard her say from the bathroom doorway.
Hon. If anyone else had said it, Jase would have chalked it up to a “Baltimore-ism.” But Whitney had never been one to imitate others.
Unlike Lillie, who loved colloquialisms and spouted them every chance she got.
He caught himself smiling, and didn’t like it one bit. Jase ground a fist into a palm. He’d worked hard to get her out of his system, to get on with life, without her. And he’d succeeded. He couldn’t—wouldn’t—let her destroy that!
* * *
“IT’S ABOUT TIME you got here.” Jase’s sister-in-law leaned in and lowered her voice. “Your mom is looking a mite peaked today.”
“Is that right.” He hadn’t planned on stopping by to visit his mother this evening, so her snappish comment didn’t make sense. “She looked fine when I was here the day before yesterday.”
Dora huffed. “Well, she doesn’t look fine now. She’s in her office.” She made a shooing motion with her hand. “Go. I’ll bring you both some iced tea.”
“Okay, thanks. That sounds great.” He paused in the kitchen doorway. “Where’s Drew?”
Dora rolled her eyes. “Working. Naturally.”
Perhaps that explained her surly mood. “You and that brother of mine put in way too many hours.” He would have added, It’s probably a good thing that you two don’t have kids, but his dad had made that mistake once, years back, and immediately regretted it. “He’s joining us for supper though, right?”
“Your guess is as good as mine.”
“He’s nuts if he doesn’t show up. Something smells delicious.”
“Stuffed shells. My grandmother’s recipe.”
“Now I’m glad my dinner date was canceled.”
“Oh? Trouble in paradise, huh?”
In place of an answer, Jase raised his eyebrows.
“Let me be more precise. Are you and Whitney fighting?”
“No.” Times like these, he didn’t need to remind himself that Dora was a lawyer. “Why do you ask?”
“You look a little down.”
“It’s been a long, weird day.” Weird, and exhausting. The on-then-off-then-on-again restaurant date had killed his appetite, and he’d been relieved when Whitney called it off...again. When she’d come out of the bathroom, the bad weather seemed to have shifted her mood again, and she’d asked for a raincheck.
Dora shrugged. “This is out of line, so I’ll apologize ahead of time for saying, right up front, that I’ll never understand what you see in her.”
Jase stepped back into the kitchen.
“She seems nice enough, and there’s no denying she’s smart. Everyone at the firm thinks so. But I get the feeling you’re not very comfortable with her. Whenever she’s around, you seem like you’re walking on eggshells.”
Women’s intuition? Or more proof that she was a good attorney? Jase had always worked hard to keep things like that to himself.
Dora held up a hand and continued with, “I know you didn’t ask, but if you had, I’d say you just don’t seem happy with her. Not like you were with Lillie, anyway. I loved watching you two together, the way you’d go back and forth, cracking jokes, laughing, so at ease with one another.”
Jase had never put much stock in metaphysical stuff, but it sure did seem like the universe was conspiring against him today. First, he’d run into Lillie and her dad. Then, Whitney got all bent out of shape over the meeting. And now, here was Dora, telling him that he’d seemed more content with Lillie than with Whitney. Had she forgotten everything Lillie had put him through, everything she’d cost him? Did she think he’d forgotten?
Dora pressed a tumbler against the ice dispenser. “I know what you’re thinking,” she said as cubes clinked into the glass. “You think I’ve forgotten everything that happened after her accident. To be more precise, everything she did after the accident.” She filled a second glass with ice and all but slammed it onto the counter. “You know we were friends. I remember how quickly she went downhill. Was I hurt by it? Of course. Was I disappointed in her? You bet! But addiction is a sickness, Jase. If her doctors hadn’t overprescribed those meds in the first place, then cut her off just like that...” She snapped her fingers. “Suffice it to say we could all have been there for her. We were supposed to love and support her.”
He had loved Lillie, more than he’d loved any woman before or since. Loved her still, despite his best efforts to smother it. As for being supportive, how many chances was he supposed to give her?
“Look, Dora, I know you mean well, but trust me, there were a lot of things you didn’t see or hear, things I’ve never talked about.” Like the times Lillie had overdosed, and if he hadn’t been around to rush her to the ER...
He knuckled his eyes, hoping to rub away the painful images. “Anyway, I appreciate your concern, but you can relax. Whitney and I aren’t fighting.”
She stared at him for a few seconds before saying, “That’s good, because you’re the closest thing I have to a brother, and I want you to be happy.”
“I have everything a guy could want—good job as CEO of a thriving company, nice condo, enough money to keep the wolf from the door, loving family, gorgeous, successful girlfriend—who just hinted that she loves me, for your information—so why on earth wouldn’t I be happy.”
“Oh, Jase...she did?”
Unless he’d lost all people-reading skills, Dora looked pained.
“How did you handle that?”
“If she actually says it, well, I’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”
Months ago, he’d decided to give up on dating. He’d had it with well-intentioned friends trying to set him up with the perfect woman, one who’d help him get over Lillie. And then, at one of Drew and Dora’s shindigs, he’d met Whitney. She wasn’t perfect, but then, neither was he. Besides, perfection was overrated. A satisfying existence could be just as fulfilling as a happy one, right? And he sure didn’t appreciate the cosmos, or whatever it was, interfering with his almost perfect life.
Jase picked up the glasses, and as he turned to leave the kitchen, he grazed Dora’s cheek with a brotherly kiss.
“Thanks for caring, sis. And just so you know, I love you, too.”
He could still see her tiny grin as he rounded the corner into his mother’s office.
Colette was lounging in her favorite chair—a flowery, overstuffed thing that was wide enough to accommodate a linebacker—a romance novel in her lap. She’d kicked off her shoes and propped both stockinged feet on the matching ottoman.
“You’re early,” she said, glancing up from her book.
“Early? You didn’t even know I was coming over tonight.” He put the iced tea glasses on coasters, then sat on the end of the sofa nearest her chair.
She used her thumb to mark her place in the paperback. “I thought maybe since that little set-to with Whitney caused you to miss dinner at Sabatino’s...”
“Set-to?” He hadn’t seen it that way at all. But wait... “How’d you hear about that? I only left her place half an hour ago.”
She fluffed chin-length white hair. “Dora got a phone call not long after she got here. Guess who it was.”
Yet again, he was reminded of the Drew-Dora-Whitney connection down at the law office.
“She’s such a lovely young woman. So soft-spoken and ladylike. She’ll make someone a wonderful wife, and be a great mother someday. That someone could be you...if you don’t blow it, pining over Lillie. That girl put you through the wringer.”
Once upon a time, his mom had cared for Lillie as if she’d been one of her own, often making excuses for her erratic behavior. Until she caught Lillie slipping a hundred dollars from her wallet. Colette had been furious when she’d told him about it. “Not because I need the money,” she’d said, “but because Lillie has made fools of all of us.” She’d gone on to say that unless the craziness with the drugs stopped, Lillie would break his heart. Deep down, he’d known his mother was right but had held out for a miracle. And a week later...
Jase pressed fingertips together, and like a spider doing pushups on a mirror, flexed and relaxed, flexed and relaxed his hands. He knew his mom had received a check a month or so ago. Lillie hadn’t succeeded in getting money from Colette, and yet she’d paid back every dollar she’d almost stolen. In private moments, Jase admitted the sincere words in the note Lillie had included for Colette had touched him, too.
“So how are you feeling, Mom?”
Blue eyes narrowed to mere slits, and her left brow rose high on her forehead. It was the look she’d branded him and Drew with as boys, when she suspected they’d broken a household item or violated a rule.
“Why do you ask? What did Dora tell you?”
“Only that you looked a little pale today.”
“I love her to pieces, but that girl can be such a fussbudget.”
Jase grinned. “I have to admit, it’s hard to believe that just a month ago, you were rushed to the hospital.”
“Oh, that.” She waved a pink-taloned hand. “Just a little TIA. I’m following doctor’s orders to the letter, so all’s well.”
“Just a little TIA,” he echoed. The symptoms of a transient ischemic attack included weakness, double vision, dizziness, numbness on the left side of her face...all of which she’d exhibited before he’d dialed 911. And all of which could lead to another, more serious stroke.
“It was just a ministroke, honey. Don’t make more of it than there was.”
“Is.”
“Semantics. All you need to know is that I’m fine now. And as long as I keep doing what Doctor Ginnan says, I’ll stay that way.” She leaned forward to pat his hand. “Besides, I have the best business partner this side of the Rockies.” Colette winked. “And don’t give me that look. You love running the company almost as much as you love being on TV.”
He couldn’t deny it. What had started as Jase helping out with bookkeeping and ordering supplies for his mom’s little craft shop had developed into Jase subbing for her on cable TV’s most prominent shopping network. He’d felt silly at first, standing beside the show hosts, describing his mom’s handcrafted wooden and ceramic birdhouses, wall decorations, lawn ornaments and colorful bakeware. Before long, though, her products grew so popular that she’d had to sign on with a manufacturing company to mass-produce her can’t-get-them-elsewhere items. Even before the money started rolling in, Jase looked forward to monthly flights to Florida to do live shows during which audience members, mostly women, called in to ooh and aah over Colette’s Crafts...and flirt with him.
“You’ve been a huge help to me, honey. If not for you, I’d still be operating out of this office-slash-parlor-slash-library-slash-craft room.” She hesitated. “You know, if you need a break, we’re doing well enough to afford to hire an actor to take your place on the show.”
“Why would we do that?”
“So you can get back to your music, part-time, of course, because I need you as CEO. And maybe even tell Whitney that you love her, too, settle down and start a family.” She sniffed. “At the rate you and Drew are going, I’ll be a decrepit old woman before I become a grandmother.”
“Wait. Too?”
“Don’t look so surprised. We’ve sort of become friends. And friends confide in one another.”
Things like I love your son?
“For one thing, the subject of love has never come up.” He wished he hadn’t just told Dora that it might. “For another, I don’t much appreciate finding out that my mother and the woman I’m dating are talking about stuff like that behind my back.” He cringed. “It’s creepy.”
“She’s more than just the woman you’re dating.”
He could only stare in disbelief.
“She’s your girlfriend.”
“Mom...”
“Well? Do you?”
“Do I what?” As if you didn’t know...
“Good grief, Jase, don’t be so obtuse. Do you love Whitney, or not?”
Jase could admit that he enjoyed spending time with her. And that it felt pretty good, seeing a twinge of envy on other guys’ faces when he entered a room with the gorgeous blonde on his arm. But love?
“Mom, I—”
“Are you hesitating because you’re still in love with Lillie?”
“No way.” He tried to sound like he meant it. “You’re right. She messed up my head, bad. I have no desire to go through that again.”
“Not even now that she’s home again, supposedly cured of her addiction?”
Whitney couldn’t have told her about that, because to his knowledge, Whitney knew almost nothing about Lillie’s drug history. Unless...
“Please tell me you didn’t discuss Lillie’s past with Whitney.”
“What difference would it make if I did...if you’re over Lillie?”
“Whitney told you we ran into her and Liam today, didn’t she.”
“Yes. So?”
“So I don’t appreciate having my personal business broadcast all over town.”
She and Dora had both accused him of having trust issues. Was it any wonder!
Colette clucked her tongue. “First of all, I realize I’ve gained a few pounds, recovering from the TIA, but I’m certainly not big enough to be referred to as a whole town. And second, you were with Whitney when you ran into Lillie. I’d say that makes it her business, too. And if she wants to share a thing like that with me...” She shrugged. “Jase. Honey. I just want you to be happy.”
Almost word for word what Dora had said. Seemed a pretty feeble way to excuse their intrusion into his personal business.
“I pray every night that Whitney is the woman who’ll make your heart skip a beat, who’ll take your breath away. That she’ll make you smile just by walking into a room. Your father made me feel like that, right up until the end.”
And that, Jase believed, was part of the problem. As Lillie disappeared down the rabbit hole, over and over, he’d lost faith in her. Lost his confidence in his ability to tell the truth from a lie. How was he supposed to connect with a woman—or trust one for that matter—when he couldn’t trust his own judgment?
He was in too deep to change the subject now, so he said, “I don’t mind admitting, I’m a little envious of what you and dad had.”
“There’s something to be said for old-shoe comfort, for that spark that makes you...well, you know.” She giggled. “I tell you, that father of yours had the power to make me go weak in the knees with nothing more than a look. And when he kissed me?” She rested a hand over her heart, then finished with a mischievous wink. She threw back her head and laughed. Then, as suddenly as it began, her laughter subsided. “I have a question for you, son.”
“Uh-oh,” Jase said. “I’m almost afraid to hear it.”
She went on as though he hadn’t spoken. “When you kiss Whitney, does your heart skip a beat? Does the breath catch in your throat? Do your knees go weak?”
“That was three questions.”
“Despite my advancing age and allegedly frail condition, I’m not that easily distracted.”
Jase could answer all of her questions with a single word: no.
Because he’d felt that way only with Lillie.
He’d loved her, maybe too much, and it galled him that she’d chosen drugs over him.
Seeing her today proved two things. First, despite his denials, he still felt something for her. And second, self-preservation told him that he needed to smother it, fast.
Love without trust was a recipe for agony.
And he didn’t believe he had the mettle to lose her again.
