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Chapter 2

“Lord, Teach Us to Pray”

Saint Luke tells us that Jesus was praying one day, and afterward one of his disciples asked Jesus if he would teach them how to pray. Jesus responded by giving this disciple (and all of us) the profound words of the Our Father (Luke 11:1–4).

The Catholic Church considers the Our Father “the fundamental Christian prayer.” Saint Thomas Aquinas called it “the most perfect of prayers.” If we spent our whole lives reflecting on the Our Father, we would only scratch its surface. In this prayer we praise God, await the coming of God’s kingdom, surrender ourselves to God’s will, ask for physical and spiritual sustenance, seek forgiveness, forgive others, and ask for protection from trials and temptations in life.

Pope Francis prays five Our Fathers every night. “In the evening, before going to bed, I say this short prayer: ‘Lord, if you will, you can make me clean!’” he explains. “And I pray five ‘Our Fathers,’ one for each of Jesus’ wounds, because Jesus has cleansed us with his wounds.”

Most of us were taught the Our Father, the Hail Mary, Grace Before Meals, the Rosary, and other basic Catholic prayers as children. These prayers remain a constant source of spiritual support throughout our lives. But it is not uncommon for people to seek other ways to pray at different stages in life.

Some people look for new styles of prayer because they feel a deep desire to grow closer to God. Others want to strengthen their relationship with Jesus or tap into the power of the Holy Spirit. Spiritual dryness and the feeling that God is very distant can cause people to search for new prayer forms. A lot of people look for new ways to pray when something bad happens, when they are struggling with a difficult decision, or when they realize that they are not in control of their own lives or the lives of the people around them.

Sometimes, new ways to pray come to people unexpectedly. Family members might share how a particular type of prayer helped them. A parish might offer a lecture series on Catholic prayer forms. A friend might extend an invitation to join a prayer group or suggest a book about prayer.

The stories in this chapter reflect some of the different ways Catholics have learned to pray. Keep in mind, however, that no matter what prayer form we choose, Jesus urges us to persevere in prayer:

“Ask, and it will be given you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For every one who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.” (Matthew 7:7–8)

Learning to Pray

My mother was my first guide and mentor into the realm of prayer and spirituality. When my siblings and I were youngsters, Mom taught us who God is, along with our first prayers. She impressed upon us that taking care of one’s soul was just as important as taking care of one’s body. She explained the rituals of our Catholic faith and, together with my father, ensured that we received the sacraments and knew our Catechism. Best of all, she showed us what it meant to be a compassionate, loving Christian by using the talents God had given her to make a better world around us.

Mom had been involved for over twenty-five years of her adult life as liturgist and organist at our local parish. My father directed the church choir. Mom and Dad used to tell us kids that “when you sing, you pray twice.” This is a saying ascribed to Saint Augustine. Now, in my adult years, my bedtime prayers remain the familiar ones taught in my childhood, and the liturgy takes on a whole new meaning when I try to sing my heart out, as my parents recommended. I really believe that my prayers arise to God as symbolic incense and melodic song.

— Vicki Kaufmann

How Catholics Pray

The beauty of the Catholic faith is that there are so many different types of prayer. We can pray by participating in the Mass, which is the highest and most perfect form of prayer. We can pray by reading Scripture or spiritual books. We can pray silently or out loud — speaking, singing, or whispering. We can kneel, sit, walk, dance, or lie prostrate in prayer. We can practice meditation or contemplation. We can keep a spiritual journal. We can pray with icons, relics, or a crucifix. We can go on a retreat. We can go on a pilgrimage to a holy place or simply place ourselves in the presence of the Lord in adoration. We can join a prayer group. We can participate in special devotions like the Stations of the Cross, the Divine Mercy Chaplet, the Rosary, or a novena. We can ask for the intercession of the Blessed Mother or the saints.

One of the best ways to pray is simply to talk to God from the depths of our hearts — thanking him for all of the good things in our lives and pouring out whatever pain, fears, questions, or doubts we might have. The ultimate prayer — and almost always the most difficult — is the prayer of Jesus during the agony in the garden, when he prayed, “Not my will, but yours, be done” (Luke 22:42).

I Had No Joy

For the first forty years of my life, I could quote the Catechism and tell stories about saints and feast days, but I never had a personal relationship with Jesus Christ until I accidentally went to a Charismatic retreat weekend.

I had always avoided anything that sniffed of Charismatic because I thought “those people” were crazy. But during that weekend, I got zapped by the Holy Spirit. I learned how to pray in a different way. I learned how to pray through song and verbal prayer and praise. During a healing session, God started healing me from my childhood.

I also met two older women who told me their stories. These women should have been suicidal because of all the things that had happened to them, but they just glowed. I thought, “They’ve got something that I don’t have, and I don’t know what it is.” They invited me to join their prayer group. I came home and I told my husband, “I don’t know if it’s my style, but I’ve got to find out what it is.”

I went to this prayer group for seventeen years. What I discovered was joy. Before this, I had no joy. My faith was all about rules. This prayer group changed my image of God and saved my life.

— Carolyn McLean

What does it mean to be Charismatic?

The Charismatic Movement is a form of spiritual renewal within the Catholic Church that emphasizes developing a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and recognizing the power of the Holy Spirit in one’s life. Charismatic prayer groups meet weekly for praise, worship, singing, Scripture, teaching, testimony, sharing the gifts of the Spirit, and healing.

“Okay, Lord, You Got Me”

When I was a young adult, I dropped away from the practice of my Catholic faith for a while. Then my brother-in-law invited me to a Charismatic prayer group. They were doing a series on Saint Mark, and my name is Mark, so I thought, “Okay, I’ll go.”

That night they had a worship service, and it seemed a little strange to me. Just before the prayer group ended, they announced that they were going to pray over a woman in her sixties, who had cancer and was supposed to go for surgery that week. As they started praying over her, I said to myself, “Okay, Lord, if you heal this woman, I’ll keep coming back.”

The following Monday, my brother-in-law was pressuring me to go back to the prayer group. I was hemming and hawing, but finally, I said I would go. Just before the meeting started, they announced that the woman they prayed over the week before had gone to the hospital. The doctors went over her X-rays, but the tumor was gone.

I said, “Okay, Lord, you got me.”

— Mark Piscitello

I Turned to Prayer

After my mother had bypass surgery, she became very confused. The confusion came on suddenly, and it was shocking. She would talk gibberish about “bad boys at the bowling alley” and “going over Niagara Falls in wire baskets.” The doctors had fixed her heart, but her brain was broken.

The psychiatrist was sure it was Alzheimer’s. The neurologist said hypoxia from the surgery, and another diagnosis was multi-infarct dementia. I felt as if I had lost the mother I knew. I cried every day.

Then one day I found a novena at a little shrine. It was a handwritten note. The instructions were: “Say this prayer nine times a day for nine days: ‘May the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, in the most Blessed Sacrament, be praised, adored, and glorified with grateful affection, at every moment, in every tabernacle of the world — now until the end of time.’”

I took the paper with me, and I prayed that I could accept this change in my mother. I turned to prayer because prayer was all that I had. It felt good to pray for help in carrying this burden. I was not alone when I prayed.

Before long, my mother was discharged to a nursing home where another doctor decided to take her off one of the drugs she was on. Her mind cleared up quickly. I did some research on the drug, and one of the side effects was hallucinations. All of the other doctors had missed it.

My mother came out of the fog. She was her old self. This was much more than I had asked for in my prayers! When I prayed, I just wanted to accept what I could not change in my mother. But God answered my prayer with a very big change in my mother. I prayed for one small thing and got another large and wonderful answer to my prayer.

— Barbara Andrulis

What is a Novena?

A novena is a prayer or a series of prayers that are offered for nine consecutive days. The significance of the nine days stems from the nine days following the Ascension of the Lord when the apostles and Our Lady gathered in the upper room waiting for the descent of the Holy Spirit on Pentecost.

The early Christians offered novenas as prayers for the dead that were intended to commend the soul to God’s infinite love and mercy. During medieval times, novenas were prayed in preparation for great feast days such as Christmas, Ascension Thursday, and Pentecost.

Over time, people in France and Spain began praying novenas to ask for the intercession of Our Lady. Novenas to the saints also became popular and were prayed during the nine days before a saint’s feast day. Today, novenas are still a popular Catholic prayer form.

The Lord Always Answers

The Lord lets us know that he hears our prayers. One time, several people at our inner-city mission wished out loud that we had flavored creamers for their coffee. That afternoon a truck pulled up with twenty cases of flavored creamers. They were astounded!

But this is how people come to have faith that the Lord will take care of them. These little miracles help to build their faith. People learn the best prayers are when they just talk to the Lord and then wait to see how the Lord answers.

The Lord always answers as long as we are doing his will. Every day something else happens that helps us to see how the Lord cares for his people. One of my prayers is, “Lord, let me always have a sense of awe. Never let me take anything for granted.”

— Amy Betros St. Luke’s Mission of Mercy

St. Luke’s Mission of Mercy

St. Luke’s Mission of Mercy was founded in 1994 by Amy Betros and Norm Paolini, who raised money to purchase an inner-city church, school, rectory, and convent that had been closed by the Diocese of Buffalo the year before. By serving the physical and spiritual needs of the poor, the mission proclaims, through the grace of the Holy Spirit, God’s great love and mercy for all people.

“Lord, I Really Need This”

After Mass one day a friend invited me to “Men of Christ,” a huge men’s conference in Milwaukee. We went to the conference and they were rolling out a men’s group for parishes called “That Man Is You.” It promised to help men strengthen their relationship with God, with their spouse, and with their children. I prayed, “Lord, I really need this.”

My friend and I got our pastor’s approval, and we introduced “That Man Is You” in our parish. It was an answer to my prayer!

We have between fifteen and twenty guys in the group. We meet every Thursday morning at 6:00. I get there at 5:30 to make coffee. The first year takes you through how to be a man, and the second year is how to be a husband, and then how to be a father. The sessions explore the issues of our day. It takes what we know and analyzes it, whether it’s social science or medical science, and then it takes what our faith says about that issue. Then it looks at how one of the saints handled this type of situation. It brings everything together — this is what we are seeing in our culture, this is what the Church teaches, and here’s how a saint handled it. It shows how the Church and our faith in Jesus are the solutions to the problems of this world.

It changed my life. It made me who I am. It saved me.

— Mike Nuzzo

Men’s Spirituality Groups

Since the Second Vatican Council (1961–1965), men’s spirituality groups have sprung up in many dioceses and parishes. Some are Scripture-based, and others focus on discussions of Catholic teaching and social issues. The purpose of these groups is to allow men to experience spiritual support and fellowship. Many dioceses also offer annual men’s conferences, which feature prayer, music, nationally known speakers, opportunities for the Sacrament of Reconciliation, adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, and a closing Mass.

Go Deeper

I was on a pilgrimage to Ávila, a walled, medieval city in Spain, when I saw a banner with the words, “I was born for you. What do you want me to do?”

These two sentences were part of Saint Teresa of Ávila’s prayer, “In the Hands of God.” I found myself intrigued by these two sentences, and I felt Saint Teresa urging me to go deeper into my own relationship with God. When I returned home, I searched the Internet for the entire prayer, but after printing it out I could not pray the words. It was too deep, too demanding, too overwhelming.

“I’ll work up to that,” I promised myself.

In the meantime, I had work to do. I pushed aside Saint Teresa’s urgings to “go deeper,” and I dove back into my busy schedule of radio shows, writing, and speaking. It wasn’t long, however, before my busy schedule came to an abrupt halt. The sniffles I developed after coming home from Spain turned into an upper respiratory infection and a debilitating case of laryngitis. My doctor warned of permanent damage to my vocal chords if I did not agree to complete voice rest. No radio show. No public speaking. No phone calls. No talking.

At first, I was grumpy and frustrated. But after a few days I decided to surrender to the urging of Saint Teresa to go deeper. I took advantage of this silent time to read, and each Gospel reading, each book passage spoke directly to me about the need to rest and be still. Before long I began to crave the silence.

With images of Ávila fresh in my mind, I drew closer to Saint Teresa, whom I have loved since childhood. I learned more about her and about myself. Finally, I was able to read her entire prayer and say to the Lord, “I was born for you. What do you want me to do?”

— Teresa Tomeo

Saint Teresa of Ávila

Saint Teresa was born in Ávila, Spain, in 1515. At age twenty, she entered the Carmelite order. After contracting malaria, she had a vision of the wounded Christ. As her mystical life deepened, the visions increased, and she began to see the need to restore the Carmelite order to its original charism. She established what became known as the Discalced (or Shoeless) Carmelites. During this time, she wrote several books, including her spiritual autobiography and books on prayer. Saint Teresa died in 1582. She was canonized in 1622. In 1970, Saint Teresa of Ávila was declared a doctor of the Church because of the depths of her understanding of theology and prayer.