Читать книгу Fallen Angels - Lori Foster - Страница 10

“NO,” ANGEL SAID, keeping her voice low and managing to cover herself as Grayson fell asleep and released her breast. He was such a good baby, so sweet. She loved him so much she’d gladly do anything necessary to protect him. “It’s not your question because it’s none of your business.”

She quickly buttoned up her shirt. Mick automatically put the pizza on the coffee table and took the baby from her while Derek stood there, that damn imperious eyebrow raised high, and watched. Slowly, because her leg really was aching, she lifted herself into something closer to a sitting position, resting against the arm of the couch with her leg still outstretched.

“Well.” Derek smiled, but it wasn’t a particularly nice smile, more a baring of teeth which Mick responded to with a scowl. “I’m not leaving until I know who he is.” He sat down and stretched out his own long, strong legs, at his leisure, and waited.

Angel sighed. God, she really didn’t need this. First the trip downtown, which had tired her leg terribly. Then the kiss and his naked chest…Her mind was turning to mush.

Mick bristled. “Just who the hell do you think you are, coming in here and demanding answers?”

“The baby’s father.”

“Oh.” Mick straightened, blinked, then glanced at Angel. Derek had said that with so much relish, so much ridiculous pride, she was temporarily stunned herself. His complete acceptance was such a swift turnaround, she was having trouble accepting it.

It took her a moment before she nodded, giving Mick permission. She knew he wouldn’t say another word without it and yet Derek wasn’t likely to leave unless he got his answer. She knew how incredibly stubborn he could be. And even though he wasn’t acting like himself, he could pull out his ruthlessness at any moment. She didn’t want Mick caught in the cross fire.

“I’m Mick Dawson, a neighbor.” Mick jutted his chin. “And a friend.”

“A very good friend,” Angel added, thinking of how much help Mick had been to her since she’d first moved here. She surveyed Derek, lounging at his leisure, his shirt tight across his broad shoulders and his hands laced over his flat stomach. She wanted to kick him for looking so damn good. “You asked who helped me. Well, once I moved here, Mick did. He picks up my groceries for me, gets my mail and paper.” She waved at her leg. “Until recently I’ve been pretty much out of commission. Mick lives upstairs, his mother owns the building, and he’s been an enormous help.”

Mick started to hand her the baby back, still keeping one eye on Derek, and that seemed to galvanize Derek into action. “I can take him,” he said, reaching for Grayson. “You should go ahead and eat.”

Mick again looked at her for guidance. Derek’s willingness to take part wasn’t something she’d counted on. It was an awkward situation, but it shouldn’t have been—not if he would just act like himself. But he didn’t seem to be in an accommodating mood today, which she supposed was like him after all.

Exasperation made her tone extra sharp. “Really, Derek, weren’t you just about to leave?”

He smiled. “I can stay a little longer. Besides, I like holding the baby.” He pressed his cheek to the top of Grayson’s head, and his expression caused a silly sick reaction in Angel’s stomach. “He smells good.”

Mick folded his arms and stared. “So you’re just now showing up? You waltz in today and pretend to be the happy father? To my mind, you’re about two months too late.”

Oh no. Angel tensed her muscles in dread of Derek’s response. “Mick…”

Derek nodded, cutting off Angel’s warning. “I agree. Actually, I’m close to a year late by my calculations. But I’m going to be near at hand from now on.” Then without missing a beat, he asked, “How old did you say you were?”

Mick grinned his sinister street-tough grin. “I didn’t.” Before Derek could react, he added, “But I’m sixteen. And before Miss Morris makes it sound like I’ve done her any big favors, she’s helped me out a lot, too. Without her, I doubt I’d make it out of high school.”

Angel couldn’t stand it when Mick did that, put himself down, especially since he was such a remarkable young man. Unfortunately, he still didn’t believe her about that. “That’s not true, Mick, and you know it. You’re very bright and you’d have figured out that math with or without my help.” She turned to Derek, for some reason anxious for him to understand. “Mick works two jobs, plus school, plus he pretty much runs this place. His mother is often…sick.”

Mick gave Derek a solemn, measuring look. “My mother is an alcoholic.”

Angel closed her eyes on a wave of pain. Mick had such a chip on his shoulder with everyone but her. He asked for disdain, as if he felt it was his due, then would fight tooth and nail to prove a point. She still wasn’t certain what that point might be, though.

With no visible sign of reaction, Derek looked at Mick. Angel knew Mick looked much older, much wiser than any sixteen-year-old boy should look. She also knew, deep down, he was still a kid, a little afraid at times, a lot needy given that his life had been nothing but empty turmoil. Her praise always embarrassed him, but he thrived on it. And she loved him like a little brother. If Derek said anything at all that would upset Mick, she’d manage to get her sorry butt off the couch and kick him out.

But he surprised her by cradling the baby in one arm and offering Mick his hand, which Mick warily accepted. “I appreciate what you’ve done for her. Did she move here when she was first hurt?”

“Yeah, not long after.” Mick narrowed his eyes again, very nice dark brown eyes that she knew all the high school girls swooned over. But Mick didn’t spare time for serious girlfriends. He was too busy surviving. “If I hadn’t been here, I don’t know if she’d have made it. She was pretty banged up, and Grayson was just a tiny squirt. Even getting herself something to eat was difficult, but she did it, because she had to stay healthy for Grayson. Truth is, I don’t know how the hell she managed.”

“Don’t be so melodramatic, Mick.” Angel didn’t want them talking about her and she didn’t want Derek to view her as a helpless, pitiful victim. He seemed to be hanging on Mick’s every word, analyzing them and drawing his own conclusions. She didn’t like the way his intense interest made her feel.

Later, after she figured out what he was up to, then she’d confide her biggest worry and hopefully he’d be able to take care of it. She cleared her throat. “Derek, you can put Grayson in his crib if you’d like. I don’t want to hold you up.”

He surprised her again by agreeing. After he settled Grayson, he came back in and walked over to her, giving her a gentle kiss on the forehead that made her skin tingle and her breath catch. She frowned at him, but held her tongue. When they were alone, safe from Mick’s protective nature, she’d set him straight about his familiarity.

Derek looked at Mick. “Could you walk me out?”

The bottom dropped out of her stomach. “What for? I think you can find your way out the door. It’s straight ahead.”

Derek grinned at her. “Man talk, honey. Mick understands.”

“It’s all right,” Mick said to her, then followed Derek out despite her protests.

For all of two minutes, she fretted, imagining every kind of hostile confrontation. But when Mick came back in he was shaking his head and almost laughing.

“What? What did he want?”

“A list.”

She searched his face, stymied. “A list of what?”

“Everything you might need.” Her mouth fell open. “He also wanted to know if there was anyplace safe around here for him to park his car since he plans to be hanging around a lot. I told him he could use the garage.”

“But you don’t let anyone use the garage!”

“Yeah, but he has a really nice car. I wouldn’t want it to get stripped.”

She could imagine what kind of car he had: expensive. What was it about males of all ages that made them car crazy?

Mick picked up a huge slice of pizza and took a healthy bite, then went into the kitchen for plates. “You want juice to drink?”

Absently, her thoughts on Derek, she said, “Please.” She made it a habit to drink juice, since it was healthier for the baby. Real juice was her one small luxury.

They ate in near silence, and Angel was aware of the passing minutes. When she caught Mick watching her watch the clock, he grinned. “I’m not about to leave until he comes back. He raised hell with me because the door was unlocked when he got here.”

Indignation rose, hot and fierce, crowding out her other, more conflicting emotions. “He yelled at you?”

“No, he just told me I should be more careful. I, um, gave him your key. He’s having a couple made, so I can have one, and he can have one. That way, he said, you can keep your door locked, and you won’t have to get up to let us in if you’re resting your leg or feeding the baby or something.”

“Didn’t you tell him you already had a key and that he didn’t need one?”

“It didn’t seem like a smart thing to do.”

He was still grinning at her. She shook her head. Never before had she seen Mick take to another person this easily. “Well, I’ll tell him. If he actually does come back.”

“Oh, he’ll be back, all right.” Mick tilted his head at her. “Are you going to tell him what’s been happening?”

“Not right away. I have to find out first if he’s going to get involved with Grayson, if I can count on him to help without having to worry that he’ll sue me for custody. I can’t risk having Grayson around that family. It’s my bet the threats start with them. His mother, according to him, is as far removed from the grandmotherly type as a woman can get, and the stories he shared about his brother don’t even bear repeating they’re so dreadful. And,” she said, when Mick’s mouth twitched, “before you start grinning again, I don’t need his help with anything but protection and you know it.”

He handed her another piece of pizza. “For a little bitty single lady you’ve done okay. But you know as well as I do that things are getting worse for you. First the job, then your old apartment, then the accident. That bit with your car still makes me sick when I think of it. You can’t keep up. You never get enough rest and your leg hurts all the time from overdoing it. You need to let it heal. Hell, you need therapy.”

Angel had long ago quit trying to curb Mick’s colorful vocabulary. Now she just rolled her eyes. “I’m getting more papers to type up every day. Pretty soon, everything will even out.”

He only shook his head. He didn’t really approve of the late hours she spent transcribing papers for local businessmen and college students, but he helped her anyway by picking up the papers and dropping them off. Like her, Mick knew she had few options.

They both looked up when they heard the doorknob turn. It was locked as per Derek’s instruction. He looked supremely satisfied as he used the key to get in. “Much better.”

Angel glared at him. “You’re not keeping a key to my apartment, Derek, so forget it.”

He didn’t look daunted. “Mick, you want to help me carry a few things in?”

“Sure.” Mick was already on his feet, setting the half-eaten slice of pizza aside. He looked anxious, and Angel imagined he was every bit as curious as she was.

Then she remembered herself. “Now wait a minute! I don’t want or need anything from you! I already told you that.”

Derek went out the door whistling. Mick followed him, trying to hide his smile. Angel hadn’t seen him grin this often in one day since she’d met him. They returned with several boxes and various brands of disposable diapers. Angel could have wept. Using cloth had been so tiring and so much added work, but the expense of disposables was out of the question.

As they carried them in, Derek explained. “The woman at the store told me some kids are allergic to some kinds. You can tell me which works best and I’ll pick up more of them. But this ought to hold you for now.”

He set the boxes in the living room, a huge wall of them, then tiptoed into Grayson’s room where she couldn’t see him. The apartment was tiny, only the two small bedrooms, a closet-sized bath, then the open area of the living room and kitchen, separated by half a wall which cornered the refrigerator. Angel seethed, even more so when he came back out carrying the almost filled diaper pail. “Where are you taking that?”

“To the dumpster.” He made a face, turning his nose away. “I left the clean ones in there in case you wanted to use them for dust rags or something.”

She started to get up, but he was already out the door again and she slumped back in frustration.

By the time he and Mick finished carrying things in, she had full cupboards, a stuffed refrigerator and freezer, a bathroom that practically overflowed with feminine products, and a sore throat from all her complaining, which Derek blithely ignored.

Not only did she now have the basics, but she had luxuries she hadn’t recently been able to afford. Had Mick told Derek that she missed conditioning her hair and giving herself facials? That she missed creamy lotions and scented bath oils? Or had he figured it out on his own? She wouldn’t ask. He’d simply have to take it all back; she wouldn’t be bought. Material things weren’t what she wanted or needed from him.

Mick dropped the last large sack behind the couch and straightened. “I’ve got to get going. I have to be at work in fifteen minutes.”

Derek came in and handed him a newly purchased ice-cold soda, holding his own in his other hand. Another luxury she’d avoided. She had milk, water, tea and for health reasons, juice. The soda looked so good, her mouth watered.

Derek propped his hip on the back of the couch, close to her head, and Angel forgot about the soda to scoot away. Derek winked at her, knowing damn good and well she didn’t want him that close, before turning to Mick. “Where do you work?”

“Part of the week at the garage on the corner. The weekends at the Fancy Lady. It’s a neighborhood bar. I wash dishes there.”

Mick had his chin jutted out, his obstinate expression that dared Derek to make a wisecrack. Instead, Derek appeared thoughtful. “Aren’t you too young to work in a place like that?”

“I look old enough. No one ever questions it.”

“I suppose not.” Again, he stuck out his hand. “I appreciate your help today, Mick.”

“No problem.”

“You know, if you ever wanted to work just one job, for decent pay, I have a friend who’s looking for someone.”

Mick narrowed his eyes, skeptical. Few things had ever been given to him, and when something good came along, he generally doubted it, and with good reason. “Doing what?”

“Various things. Cleanup, phone duty, running errands. The hours are flexible, but the pay’s good.”

Silence dragged out while Mick considered the suggestion. Finally he shrugged. “I’ll think about it.”

“Take your time. The job’s not going anywhere.” Derek locked the door behind Mick after he left, then turned to Angel. He stared at her until her pulse picked up and her blood raced. “Now.”

Startled, she stiffened her shoulders and frowned. “Now what, you…you…? How dare you come barging in here rearranging my life?” She’d been so enthralled, listening to the male bonding taking place before her eyes, and then he’d looked at her with such warmth in his gaze she’d practically jumped when he spoke. Now all her grievances came swamping back. “You can take all this right back out to your car, and you can hand me back my key.” She thrust her hand, palm up, toward him. “Right now.”

Derek leaned against the door, studying her for a moment, seemingly gathering his thoughts. After a moment, he said, “I like Mick. He’s a good kid.”

That threw her off guard. Again. Slowly, her hand fell back to the couch. “Yes, he is. I don’t know what you were up to with that job offer, but if it isn’t legitimate, I’ll….”

He grinned. “You’ll what? No, don’t answer that. The possibilities are too frightening to contemplate.” He walked to her and sat down beside her on the couch, then took her hand before she could try to get up. “It’s a real job, certainly a better one than what he’ll find around here. I thought you’d like to know he was working someplace safer. Hell, I could even get my friend to throw in a car with the job, to make sure he’s protected when driving.”

Angel was struck speechless. Between his touch and his words, she couldn’t seem to draw enough breath. Such generosity had never been a part of Derek, at least not a part she’d seen. “I don’t understand you.”

His thumb rubbed over her knuckles. She tried to tug her hand away, but he held firm. “I know you don’t, and I’m sorry about that. Sorry about a lot of things.” He gave her a sideways look, then sighed, the sound tinged with real regret. “I hesitate to make you angry, but—”

“Then don’t.”

“Here’s how it’s going to be, honey.” His tone was stern, his expression determined. “You’re going to keep everything I’ve just given you. And you’re going to use it, too. And enjoy it, I hope, but I suppose that’s up to you. I know you don’t like me or trust me right now, and that’s okay. I understand it. But I’m not just going to disappear or come visit once a month for fifteen minutes. And I’m not going to sit back and ignore you when I know you need things. I can help you, and you’re going to accept my help. God knows, you should have had it all along.”

Angel shook her hand free, then kept it held protectively away from him. A glint of amusement brightened his eyes. She felt swamped in confusion, uncertain what to do or say next. She’d never dealt with Derek in this mood, firm but concerned and caring. It was sort of…sweet. No, whoa on that thought. She would not be suckered in by him. Never again.

Glaring at him, she said, “Why don’t you just tell me now what you’re up to and save us both some time?”

“What I’m up to? Well, all right. Let’s see. I want to help you. I want you to trust me again—”

“Ha!”

“—and I want to be with you.” He said that last part with a small smile, and his fingertips grazed her chin. She ducked her face away. “I want to be a part of Grayson’s life and be a father to him. I want to show you that I can be responsible and honorable and that I’m not a total jerk. I want…a lot of things.”

She stared at him hard, unnerved. “You’re an alien, right? Derek was zapped into space and you were sent to replace him? That’s the only thing I’ll believe.”

He laughed, but his eyes looked sad. “Would you like that, if the real Derek was gone for good?”

None of this, most especially his somber tone, made any sense. Angel dropped her head against the back of the couch and sighed. “I never wished you any harm, Derek. Not even when I thought I hated you, when you suggested we’d both be better off without the baby. I just didn’t want to ever see you again.”

“But you invited me back into your life. I may be trying to take up more of that life than you’re comfortable with, but I won’t hurt you again. I promise.”

Without lifting her head from the couch, she turned her face toward him. In a soft whisper, she said, “Do you actually believe I’d ever trust you again?”

“Yes.” He said it without hesitation. His eyes were dark and sincere and intense, probing into her mind, trying to read her thoughts. “I can get you to trust me again.”

The mere possibility scared her half to death. She could never leave herself that vulnerable again; her baby’s well-being depended on her strength. “And then what? You’ll steal my baby away from me?” Her chest squeezed tight with the thought and she knew her voice shook. She couldn’t help it. She’d known the risks involved when she contacted him, but Mick was right. She couldn’t handle things on her own anymore. The threat was there and it was real and she was afraid, not so much for herself, but for Grayson. He relied on her, and she had to protect him. That’s what mattered most.

If it was Derek’s family behind the awful threats, as she suspected, he might well be the only person who could protect her.

Derek stood, giving her his back. His fists rested on his hips and he looked angry and frustrated and somehow heartsick. “I would never take him from you,” he said, the words low and raspy. “I’d swear it to you, but I realize my promises mean nothing—yet. All I want to do is help.”

“But you never wanted to help me before. You made it clear you wanted no part of me or the baby.”

She heard him swallow, then he turned to face her. He looked angry, and almost confused, a bit desperate. “I was an ass. An idiot and a bastard. I’m here now, Angel. Don’t shut me out.”

She really had little choice in the matter. It was difficult to say the words, but he seemed so different, not at all like the man she’d known. Her reactions, her feelings toward him, were different, too. He touched something inside her that the old Derek hadn’t gotten close to. She supposed anyone could change, and she knew how Grayson had affected her life, the impact he’d made on her.

As if reading her mind, he whispered, “Grayson hit me like a punch in the heart. A tiny little person, part of my blood.” His eyes narrowed. “You said it yourself. How holding him made you feel.”

“But I carried him and went through all the changes the pregnancy caused. I got sick in the mornings, stayed awake at night as he kicked, stayed tired all the time. I felt him grow and I saw him born. I saw him take his first breath, give his first cry.”

“You think I don’t regret missing all that?”

He sounded so sincere, but she just didn’t know. Unless he planned to take the baby from her, she could see no reason for an emotional deception. She searched his face, but it was a futile effort; whatever he felt was well hidden. Damn, she had so few choices in this. “All right.”

He let out a gust of air, ran a hand through his hair, rubbed his chin, then smiled. “Okay. Shew, I’m glad that’s settled.” He looked much relieved, his shoulders no longer so tense, his eyes no longer worried. “Okay. On to the next battle. I want to move you someplace else.”

Angel could only stare at him in disbelief. “You’re nuts. I give ground on one little thing and you want to take over!”

“Come on, honey, you can’t like living here.”

She wanted to shove his condescension back into his face until he choked on it. “I most certainly do like it,” she lied, knowing Mick to be the only redeeming factor of her present residence. “I’m close to the downtown businesses and I do transcription at home for a lot of the offices and the students. I make enough money to keep the rent paid and my health insurance active. It’s convenient and I enjoy the people and I’m not moving.”

He pursed his mouth and studied her, then must have decided not to push his luck. “I’ll let that go for now.”

“You’ll let it go forever!”

“Now, about therapy.” Angel rolled her eyes, which didn’t even slow him down. “I’ve known people with compound fractures. It can take months to heal with proper treatment, and you’ve not had that.”

“I have a very good doctor.”

“Who no doubt told you that you needed therapy.”

That was true, but it had been out of the question. Not only did she not have anyone to watch Grayson, but she had no way of getting back and forth each day to the therapist and her insurance would have only covered a small percentage of the bill. She shook her head at Derek, hopeless. “It’s been almost two months. It’s too late for therapy.”

“Nonsense. I know the perfect person. I’ll have her come here. What would be convenient for you?”

Angel rubbed her eyes. He was coming too fast and too hard, and suddenly she was tired. He’d invaded her life, her emotions. She’d had such a simple plan, and she’d thought for a while it might work. Then he’d held Grayson, and he’d kissed her and taken off his shirt and bought her disposable diapers and lotion and she just couldn’t take it all in. She didn’t have it in her to continue fighting him, at least, not right now. “Derek, please. Let off a little. You’re here. You’ve met your son. My apartment is stuffed with new purchases. Isn’t that enough for now?”

“I have a lot to make up for.”

She certainly wouldn’t argue that point with him. “Well, let’s save it for another time, okay? Right now, I’m exhausted. I worked really late last night finishing up some papers that were due this morning and Grayson still wakes up during the night to be fed. If you’ll take yourself out of here, I’d like a nap.”

“What papers?”

With barely veiled impatience, she explained once again. “I transcribe files or notes for the local offices when one of the secretaries is ill, and I do term papers and such for students at the college. I’m sure you remember I have top-of-the-line office equipment, even if my computer is getting a little dated.”

“You don’t have to continue working. I can give you money.”

Just like that, he expected her to become totally dependent on him. She wanted to get up and smack him, and she wanted to cry. Neither would have brought about the results she needed. “I’ll pretend you didn’t say that.”

He stood there, obviously undecided, and she waited. But he only smiled, his look rueful. “Come on, I’ll help you into bed.”

Panic edged into her weariness. She didn’t want him touching her again, getting so close. He’d kissed her, and that brief touch had unnerved her, had made her belly tingle. When he’d taken off his shirt, she’d almost groaned. He’d been her first lover, her only lover. And she’d never found fault with his physique. Though their single night together hadn’t been great, she knew a lot of the blame was due to her own uncertainty. And now, she missed so much the closeness of being with a man, not necessarily sexually, but with gentleness and concern, a special friendship between two people who know they’re destined to be lovers. Or who have been lovers in the past. The intimacy was there for her, whether she despised him or not.

But despising him was no longer an issue. He was too damn different.

“No thank you,” she muttered, shaken by her own revelations, afraid of her own weaknesses. But true to form, he wasn’t listening and had her pulled up close to his side before she could move away. With one hard muscled arm around her waist, the other holding her elbow, he practically carried her into her room. She could feel his heat, his strength, and it felt too good to be coddled, to have some of the burden lifted, even if in a superficial way.

Closing her eyes didn’t help, only made her more aware of the shifting of muscle, the hardness of his body, his incredible heat and enticing scent. The man even smelled different, more welcoming, more comforting. More exciting.

Her bedroom door had been shut until now and when Derek stepped inside he paused to look around. She pulled away from him, her hands shaking, and he took her elbow to assist her to the bed. Her hobbling gait embarrassed her.

“Really, Derek. How do you think I ever managed when you weren’t around?”

Her sarcasm was wasted, judging by his frown. “I’ve been wondering about that myself.” He lifted her legs onto the bed and pulled the sheet and blankets over her. “Are you comfortable?”

With him looming over her while she rested in a bed? His shoulders looked hard, his chest broad. When she’d glimpsed him with his shirt off earlier, she’d noticed the remains of a tan. He’d been in warm weather recently, sunning himself.

His hair hung over his forehead, soft and silky dark and a tracing of beard shadow was showing on his face. No, she was far from comfortable. “I’m fine.”

“This is a pretty room. It…suits you.”

The things he said seemed so strange, as if another man had taken over his body. Derek had never before commented on furniture or even noticed it as far as she could tell. Her belongings were nice, but they weren’t picked by an interior decorator as his had been.

Still, they were hers, and she loved them. She’d hated to spend so much of her dwindled savings on movers when she’d left her old place, but she’d been unable to do the work herself, had no friends to call on, and she refused to live on someone else’s furniture.

Besides, the familiar objects gave her comfort, as if her entire life hadn’t been reorganized by the vengeful hand of fate.

Unable to help herself, she said, “The bed is new.”

“Oh?” He looked it over, but she could tell he hadn’t realized it.

“I thought about burning the other one, sort of as an exorcism given the hideous memories attached to it, but that seemed wasteful in my financial predicament, regardless of the sentiments attached.” She propped a pillow behind her head and smiled at him, enjoying his scowl and the two spots of hot color high on his lean cheekbones. “I sold it instead. Cheap.”

Like an animal of prey moving in, Derek slowly approached the bed and leaned over her, his eyes never leaving hers. He braced an arm on either side of her head and lowered his face until only inches separated them. Angel pressed back into her pillow and held her breath.

His voice was low and rough, compelling. “You keep pushing me, honey, practically daring me with those big green eyes of yours.”

He looked away from her eyes to her mouth, and she bit her lip. “Derek…”

“Shh.” His lips brushed hers, light, teasing. “I told you I’d never hurt you again. You can believe it. Besides, it’s too soon for much, but not for this.”

That was all the warning she got before his mouth settled warmly over her own, devouring. Angel gasped, clasping the soft blanket next to her hips, tightening her fists to keep from kissing him back. But it was impossible. Nothing like this had ever happened to her. Surely it hadn’t been like this before or she’d have remembered.

Heat exploded, radiating out to her arms and legs in tingling waves; behind her closed eyes, tiny sparks ignited. She squirmed—then felt his tongue at the same time he groaned, giving her the sound, letting her feel it deep inside herself. Wet, warm, he shifted for a better angle and she leaned up to him, anxious for more.

It seemed an eternity before the kiss ended, before Derek was slowly pulling away, taking small, nibbling, apologetic kisses along the way. He breathed hard, but when he lifted his head, there was a gentle smile on his mouth.

Angel didn’t trust herself to speak.

“Don’t look like that,” he chided.

“Like…like what?”

“Like you’re afraid, and sorry.” His thumb rubbed the corner of her mouth. “One way or another, everything really is going to be okay.”

Reality intruded. “Derek, swear to me you won’t tell anyone about Grayson.”

“You’ll believe me?”

Tears filled her eyes. “Do I have a choice? I don’t want to run again. I don’t—”

“Again?”

He had her rattled, that was the only reason she’d made such a slipup. Shaking her head, she said, “If you tell your family about Grayson, I’ll go.”

His large warm hand cupped her cheek. “I won’t let them bother you, and I won’t let you go.”

She was afraid they were already bothering her, because she couldn’t think of another single enemy she could have. Why they would want to hurt her, she couldn’t guess. Unless they knew of Grayson and were afraid she’d come to Derek for marriage. She just didn’t know what lengths they might go to in order to protect their son from a woman they’d consider beneath him.

Her hands shook, as did her voice. “How could you stop them if they knew? Especially your brother.” She shivered, knowing her fear of the brother was out of proportion, based on Derek’s dramatized bragging and her own wild imagination. But in her mind, he’d become her nightmare, and she was very afraid. “Out of all of them, I fear him the most.”

He leaned back, watching her carefully. “Angel…”

“No! They can’t know. Ever. If that seems selfish of me, I don’t care.” Her hands trembled, despite her tight grip, because she knew if he decided to take her baby away, he could. And she was already proving how weak she was against him. “I’m a good mother, Derek, I swear it.”

He sighed. “I never doubted it, honey.” He shoved himself reluctantly from the bed and pulled a pen from his pocket. Using a notepad on the bedside table, he scribbled down some numbers. “I’m going to give you my number.”

“I already have it.”

He stalled, looking harassed for a moment, then shook his head. “It’s hard to reach me at home these days. Here are the numbers to my cellular and my pager. You can always reach me with them. If you ever need me, for anything, call either one of these numbers.”

Angel nodded, feeling foolish for her outburst. She was just so weary, so tired of being afraid. He cupped her cheek again.

“I’ll be back tomorrow.” His gaze probed hers, demanding. “You’ll be here?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” He leaned down and kissed her once more, a light kiss that still made her shiver. “Pretty soon, you’ll stop looking so afraid, Angel. And you’ll start to trust me. I promise.”

As he walked out of the room, Angel looked at the paper with his numbers. Somehow, just having someone to call made her feel safer.

She heard the front door close, the lock turn, and she dropped her head back on the pillow, closing her eyes. As she drifted off to sleep, the paper was still in her hand.