Читать книгу The Nanny's Secret Child - Lorraine Beatty - Страница 10

Chapter Two

With great effort, Julie managed to regain control and return to the kitchen. Mr. Montgomery looked up as she entered.

“Miss Bishop, I know you weren’t supposed to start work until tomorrow, but I need to run to the office. It’s only a few miles away. I was wondering if you could stay with Abby for a half hour or so. You could get better acquainted while I’m gone. Of course, I’ll understand if you can’t.”

A million possibilities raced through her mind. What she wanted to do was run home, bury herself in bed and sort out all the emotions surging through her heart before she exploded. Yet having the chance to remain here and spend extra time with her child was a blessing she couldn’t pass up, even though the danger and the potential emotional stress would be difficult.

“I’d be happy to stay. Abby can show me around, help me find things I might need.”

Montgomery looked a bit leery, but nodded. “Good. Thank you.” He stooped down beside Abby. “Will you be okay here with the new nanny? I won’t be long.”

Abby shrugged, clutching her backpack a bit closer. Montgomery raised a hand as if to stroke her hair, then let it fall, getting to his feet. The gesture caused a twinge in Julie’s heart and raised a number of questions. Why was Abby so indifferent toward her father and why was he so reluctant to show his affection? Clearly there was a barrier between them. She smiled to cover her concern.

“All right, then. I shouldn’t be long.” He handed Julie a business card with all his numbers. “Don’t hesitate to call me for anything.”

“Don’t worry. We’ll be fine.” She gave him her most reassuring smile, but the moment the door closed behind Gil Montgomery, Julie began to question her decision. Her only hope to keep from sinking into a pit of emotional quicksand was to don her professional facade, lock it down tightly and move forward. She faced Abby with her most engaging smile. “I’m feeling like a snack, how about you?”

With some assistance from Abby, Julie found plates, glasses and a tin of oatmeal cookies. After pouring two glasses of milk, she settled at the table, watching the little girl eat a cookie and take a sip of her milk. Julie took a bite of her cookie, but it turned to sawdust in her mouth. “These are really good cookies. Did you make them?” The question drew a puzzled frown from the little girl.

“My grandma made them.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever had a better one.” Even though she couldn’t choke one down, she had to admit they were soft, chewy and very tasty. “She must be a very good cook.”

Abby shrugged again. “She had to go away.”

Hope blossomed in Julie’s heart. At least they were conversing now. For a while she’d feared the only source of communication would be shrugs and nods. But the resigned tone in Abby’s voice bothered her. “I know. You must miss her.”

One corner of the little mouth twitched upward. “Everybody goes away.”

A sharp barb pricked her nerves. “But they come back. Your dad said that as soon as his sister is well, she and your grandma will come home.”

“Mommy won’t come home.”

Julie’s insides twisted at the sadness in the child’s voice. She resisted the urge to scoop her up into a hug. “I’m so sorry about your mom. You must miss her very much. But you’re here with your daddy now, so everything will be fine. You’ll see.”

Abby shoved her plate back and glared. “He doesn’t want me here.”

Julie stared at the little girl a moment, replaying everything she’d seen and heard since arriving at the house. If first impressions counted for anything, then Mr. Montgomery was a devoted father. The relationship between him and his daughter was strained, but she’d seen no indication that he resented his child being here. “Oh, Abby, I don’t think that’s true. I’m sure he loves you very much and he’s happy to have you here with him.”

Abby clammed up. She stared down, backpack clutched tight. Conversation over. Time to change directions. “Well, let me clean up, and then you can show me around so I won’t get lost tomorrow when I come to stay with you.”

“I don’t need a nanny. That’s for babies.”

“Not always. In some countries nannies take care of children until they’re all grown up.”

“That’s silly.”

“I think you might be right. Well, why don’t you think of me as a friend who will watch out for you while your daddy is at work and until your grandma comes home?”

Abby mulled that over, a frown folding her little forehead. “What do I call you?”

“How about Miss Julie? That way it’ll sound more like we’re friends.”

“Okay.”

“Good, because I want us to become friends.” Was that possible? Could she have a relationship with her child beyond that of fill-in nanny? The truth shouted inside her head, burning through her heart. Impossible. She wasn’t even supposed to know who Abby was, let alone be here taking care of her. The truth could never come out. It would be disastrous for everyone involved. The father would be furious. He might bring charges against her or the agency. Agatha Montrose, the owner of the Nanny Connection Agency, was her friend and mentor. She’d never considered what would happen to her, not to mention Julie’s own reputation, should the truth come out. But most important of all, what emotional damage would it do to Abby? A swell of anxiety crashed over her senses. She stood, struggling to hold herself together. She had to calm down. No one knew about Abby except DiDi. Julie’s own parents didn’t know. She’d never told them she was pregnant. Not that it would have mattered one way or the other to them.

Julie gathered up the plates and glasses, taking her time at the sink, rinsing and stacking them on the counter. Doubts about this decision bombarded her from every direction. This had seemed like a gift from God at first. She’d been convinced it was the answer to her long-uplifted prayers. But now... Slowly she wiped her hands on a towel, giving herself time to regroup.

Since the day her baby was born, she’d been plagued with one question. Not, had she done the right thing in giving her up—she’d had no choice in that regard. Alone, penniless with no one to turn to, she’d known the only future she could offer her baby girl was to give her to a couple who could provide a home, brothers and sisters, love and security.

The question that had haunted her all these years was whether or not her child was happy and well cared for. Did her adopted parents love her as much as her birth mother did? That love had been the only way she’d been able to let her go. Julie fingered the small silver heart with the birthstone in the center. The only reminder of the little girl she had given up.

DiDi had somehow managed to get the name of the adoptive parents and given it to her. She’d always known the Montgomerys had taken her child, and that they lived in Mississippi, but she’d never acted upon the knowledge. She’d never looked them up, never tried to find where they lived, believing in her heart that it was best for her baby.

Until the day Gil Montgomery’s name had appeared at the agency, requesting a short-term nanny. The application stated he’d lost his wife a few months ago and he needed a temporary caregiver for his daughter. Julie carefully folded the towel, glancing over at Abby, still sitting quietly at the table. She might have resisted the need to assure herself of her child’s well-being if it hadn’t been for her move to Paris.

The only obstacle to her dream move was her gnawing fear. Stories about adopted children who’d been mistreated, neglected or even given up again never failed to fuel a torrent of doubt and fear in her heart. What if her baby was with a family that didn’t truly love her? If Julie knew her baby was happy, in a loving environment, then she could leave the country secure in the knowledge that it had all been worth it.

Julie closed her eyes, thanking the Lord for allowing her this chance. Five days. Enough time to allay her fears, to get to know her child, to gain peace and perspective before closing the door on this part of her life forever. And this was a blessing from God. It had to be.

She smiled at the little girl. “Okay, I’m ready to see your house. Where do you want to start?”

Begrudgingly, Abby scooted out of her chair, nodding toward the counter. “This is the kitchen.”

She chuckled. “Really?” Abby didn’t laugh with her, but she did move her mouth to one side. Julie followed the little girl through the downstairs rooms, pointing out each area with little fanfare. She noticed the whole house was in need of love and attention. She had a feeling the people who lived here might have that same need. She shook off the worrisome thought. She needed to think with her head, not her heart. Abby had been in Dover only a short while, and her long-term well-being wasn’t her concern. Only her day-to-day care.

Back inside, she followed Abby upstairs.

“This is my room.”

Julie took a quick survey of the large space. There was something odd about the decor. The pink paint was an unusual shade, the bedspread clashed with the pillows, and the curtains were more suited for a nursery. Then it hit her. This room was decorated by a man who had no idea what a little girl’s room should look like. It was not the room an eight-year-old girl would dream about. Julie looked for something positive to say. “This is a really nice room. Look at all the sunlight you get.”

“It’s pink. I hate pink. I like purple. My other room was purple.”

“It’s not hard to paint walls. I’ll bet if you told your daddy that you’d rather have a purple room, he’d change it for you.”

Abby tossed her backpack onto the bed, then climbed up beside it, arms crossed over her little chest. “No, he wouldn’t.”

She sat beside her. “What makes you say that?”

“He doesn’t want to be my daddy. Aunt Pam said so.”

Julie’s concern rose. Was this chip on her shoulder a result of grief and being taken from her home, or was there something more behind her attitude? If this were any other assignment, Julie would just go on about her job. But this wasn’t a normal situation.

“I’m sure your Aunt Pam didn’t mean that. Sometimes when grown-ups are angry at each other, they say things they don’t mean. Your daddy brought you to this nice house and this town so you could be close to your family. Like your grandmother. You like her, don’t you?”

Abby nodded, eyes glistening.

“She’ll be back very soon. In the meantime, your daddy has asked me to take very good care of you and play with you and...” to love you. “And I’m a professional at that kind of thing.”

“What’s that mean?”

“That means I’m very good at taking care of children. I have lots of things we can do that are fun. Like drawing.” Maybe she could get Abby to express her feelings through pictures, a technique that had worked well for Julie in the past. “Let’s go back downstairs and draw until your dad gets back.” Reluctantly, the little girl followed.

Julie clutched the stair railing as she descended the steps. She and Mr. Montgomery needed to have a talk. She wanted to know what Abby had been through. If she was going to help her child, she needed to know about her past. She needed to know what... She stopped at the bottom, releasing a heavy sigh. What was she doing? She wasn’t here to help Abby. She wasn’t her mother, not really. She was the caregiver for a few days. Nothing more.

Blood surged in her ears like waves. But how could she ignore that Abby was an unhappy little girl? She was sad and confused and clung to her backpack like a lifeline, which showed the depth of her insecurity. And she was helpless to do anything about it. Abby needed her help. She needed love and attention, and who better to provide that than her mother?

* * *

Gil pulled into his designated parking spot and shut off the engine, swallowing around the worry clogging his throat. He’d nearly turned around three times to go back and stay with Abby. He’d been adjusting to the idea of a young attractive nanny until she’d returned to the kitchen looking pale and shaky. She’d regained her equilibrium quickly, but it left him wondering if she was sick, and questioning his decision to leave his child with a stranger.

What had surprised him was the surge of protectiveness toward the woman that had overtaken him. He’d wanted to pull her close and comfort her. He’d never felt that way before. He was obviously more stressed over this situation than he’d thought. Julie Bishop was a professional caregiver. And it was only for an hour. He couldn’t be with Abby every second. His mom had warned him about being overprotective. Maybe he was, but he had a lot to make up for. Because of his ignorance, he’d sent his child to live in a world of chaos. He had to undo the damage somehow. He just didn’t know how.

Inside the large building that housed Montgomery Electrical Contractors, the business his family owned, he headed for the office on the second floor. His older brother Linc was behind the desk, and the sight unleashed a wave of grief that stopped him in his tracks. Their father should be running the company, but he died suddenly last fall, leaving the family reeling. Gil had barely begun to process the loss when his ex-wife had died, and he’d been caught up in a custody tornado that hadn’t ended until Christmas.

Linc looked up from the desk, a smile on his face. “I take it the new nanny worked out or you wouldn’t have left Abby with her.”

“She wasn’t what I was expecting.” Gil glanced down at his hand, unable to shake the memory of holding hers. Soft, warm and strong. He’d sensed a tension about her, but he’d also been aware of her energy. There was something stable and trustworthy about Miss Bishop. And at the same time she was fresh and appealing. “She’s young.” He wasn’t sure why that bothered him so much.

“How young?”

“Few years younger than me, I guess.”

Linc chuckled. “Hate to tell you, bro, but that isn’t so young. I’m marrying a woman about that age.”

Gil managed a smile. Linc had met a wonderful woman with a young son and they were planning their wedding. “I thought she’d be more grandmotherly. But she’s pretty and warm and friendly.” And she had beautiful dark hair that floated around her face in soft waves, brown eyes that held a sparkle and skin that glowed.

“How pretty?”

Too late he realized his mistake. Ever since Linc had fallen in love, he was eager to have others join the party. “She’s qualified. That’s all that matters. I only hope she and Abby can get along until Mom gets back. This is another big change in Abby’s life.” He started to tell his brother about other concerns but decided against it. Linc had enough on his mind between running Montgomery Electrical and planning his future. He didn’t need to shoulder Gil’s problems, too. They were both treading water, trying to adjust to the loss of their father and keep the family business afloat after narrowly avoiding bankruptcy last month.

“So did you like the woman? More important, did Abby like her?”

Gil rubbed his forehead. “Yeah, I did. I have no clue what Abby thought. She won’t talk to me. I think I might call the agency and have them send someone older, more like Mom.”

Linc nodded. “Or you can wait and see how things go. Maybe Abby needs someone younger, more flexible.”

“Maybe. I just want her happy again.”

“We all do. We want you to be happy again, too, bro.”

He shook his head and sat. He could never be happy until Abby was. “I’m not sure that’s possible. So what is it I need to sign that couldn’t wait until tomorrow? It’s Sunday afternoon. You should be home watching the play-offs.”

Linc shoved a folder of papers toward him. “I’d rather be, but the bids on the Westfal project are due tomorrow morning and I’m hand delivering the bid to the contractor as soon as they’re signed. We can’t afford to miss any opportunities if we’re going to stay afloat. Oh, and I saw a couple upcoming jobs on the Dodge Reports you might want to look into.”

Gil scribbled his name on the documents, then tossed the pen onto the desk. “Is that all? I need to get back to Abby.”

Linc glanced at the signature, then closed the folder. “Yeah. I know I shouldn’t, but I’m counting on this job to come through. It could turn things around for us. We’ve still got a long way to go to get the company back on solid ground.”

Exhaling a heavy breath, Gil ran a hand down the back of his neck. The recent setbacks at the company had forced his brother to make some tough decisions and a major sacrifice. “I should have been here. I let you down.”

Linc held up his hand. “Stop. No one blames you. Abby was your first priority.”

Mounting pressure in his chest drove Gil to his feet. “I let her down, too.” His gaze came to rest on the family photo on the desk. “And Mom and Dad. Everyone.”

“How do you figure?”

Gil brushed back his sport coat, setting his hands on his hips and keeping his back to his brother, his gaze fixed out the window. “I robbed Dad and Mom of their only grandchild. I promised Dad I’d bring her back home.”

“And you did.”

“Too late for him.”

“Hey, at least you tried. Leah is the one who left and took Abby away.”

“I should have fought harder. I should never have let Abby go with her mother in the first place. If I’d understood her illness better, I would never have allowed her full custody of Abby.”

“We all believed that a toddler should be with her mother. None of us realized Leah was bipolar.”

“But I should have. I was married to her. How stupid was I? I should have realized. The violent mood swings, the constant demand for more attention, the fact nothing was ever good enough. I thought she was spoiled. The worst part is she lied to me. If I hadn’t stumbled on her meds when I went to pick up Abby that time, I’d never have known. Her sister, Pam, was only too eager to fill me in on how cruel I’d been.”

“That’s not true.”

“Isn’t it? If I’d known sooner, I could have helped her, gotten her better care, treated her differently. I might have been able to fix things.”

“Gil, bipolar disorder isn’t something you can fix. You know that. You’re a smart guy.”

“If I’m so smart, why didn’t I see that my own wife was ill?”

“A better question would be, why didn’t she tell you?”

The phone rang and Linc picked it up. Gil was only vaguely aware of the conversation. His brother’s question was the same one he’d asked himself a million times. Why had Leah hidden her illness from him? Keeping him in the dark had only complicated all their lives and led to a string of bad decisions on his part. Regrets nagged at him constantly. He longed for the wise council of his father and the keen insight of his mother, neither of whom were available. He was on his own, free to make a whole new string of poor decisions with his daughter.

“That was a reminder that the bid on the Bancroft project is due this Friday.”

“I’ll have it ready.” He glanced over his shoulder at his older brother. There were only thirteen months between them. They’d grown up more like twins. They could read each other’s thoughts. Right now worry was written all over Linc’s face. “I owe you an apology for fouling things up here.” He rubbed his forehead, trying to ease the throbbing behind his eyes. “I left you to deal with everything after Dad died. I wasn’t here to help with Mom or the company. I didn’t take enough time on the bids.”

“Gil, we all understood. The mess here with the company was all on me. I wasn’t prepared to run the business. I never appreciated how good Dad was at running things here until he was gone.”

“Me either. Do you think we can keep the place going?”

“I hope so. The family is depending on us.”

Linc came from behind the desk and placed a hand on Gil’s shoulder, giving it a brotherly squeeze. “You know, if you need to talk, I’m here.”

“I know. I’d better get back. I’ll be here early tomorrow. The nanny will be taking Abby to school from now on.”

Linc nodded and patted his shoulder. “See you then. Oh, Mom said Beth came through the surgery on her tendon fine.”

“Good to hear.” Gil glanced at the photo again. Everyone in his family was suffering in some way. Without their father to serve as their anchor, they were all adrift.

* * *

The house was quiet when Gil stepped inside a short while later. The nanny was sitting at the kitchen table working on her tablet. She looked at him and smiled, bringing a glint into her brown eyes and revealing a dimple on one side of her mouth he hadn’t noticed before. She had an infectious smile, wide and bright, that lit up the room. It almost made him want to smile back. He didn’t. “Where’s Abby? Is everything okay?”

“Yes, of course. She’s in her room.”

Gil tapped the tabletop with his fingers, fighting a fresh wave of concern. “Has she been there the whole time?”

“No. We had a snack, she showed me around the house and then she took me to her room. Did you know she doesn’t like the color pink? Purple is her favorite.”

He studied the woman. How did she know that? “No. She never said. I thought all girls like pink. My sisters did.”

The nanny grinned as if placating a small child. “I think she’d like it if you could paint her room purple. Maybe she could help pick out the color.”

He turned away, gathering himself as he slipped out of his sport coat. “Sure. We can do that.” He took a seat at the table, clasping his hands. “I didn’t have much time to get that room ready, and I never thought to ask about the color.” Another misstep as a father. He should have asked Abby what she wanted, but it had never occurred to him. Once he’d been assured he would have full custody of his daughter, he’d hired one of the guys at the shop to paint the room and get it ready.

“Picking out things she likes will help her feel more at home. Change can be frightening for a child.”

Resentment clogged Gil’s throat. “Are you saying I frighten her?”

“No.” She pressed her lips together. “But she thinks you don’t want her here.”

“She told you that?” His chest tightened.

“Yes. We talked a little and—”

“She talked to you?”

“Yes. Why?”

Gil stood, fighting the anger and hurt coursing through him. Abby hadn’t said more than three words at a time to him since he’d brought her home, and those were usually clipped sentences. His mother had been able to coax some conversation from her, but not much. Yet this woman had learned more about his child in an hour than he had in weeks. He faced the nanny, her big brown eyes filled with puzzlement. “Abby doesn’t talk much.”

“She’s struggling to adjust to her new life with you. She’s lost her mother, been taken from everything familiar and put in a new situation. Spending one-on-one time with her, learning what she likes to do, will ease that transition. I’ve found that listening closely to the things they say can be very helpful.”

“You think?” Was she accusing him of being a poor father? He’d heard that too often from his wife. He didn’t need to it hear from an employee. “I think I know what’s best for my daughter.”

“Of course. I didn’t mean to imply you didn’t.” She lowered her eyes, a faint blush staining her cheeks.

Gil squared his shoulders. This woman had no idea what he was going through. “Abby needs time, that’s all.”

“I’m sure you’re right.”

Now she was placating him. “Miss Bishop, I know you mean well, but I’d appreciate it if you’d remember that you are only here to care for my daughter until my mother returns.”

“Yes, of course. I understand.”

He tried to ignore the hurt look in her pretty brown eyes. He had a sinking sensation in his gut like he’d just kicked a sweet fuzzy bunny. He made a mental note to avoid eye contact with the attractive nanny. “Abby is fragile right now. I don’t want her upset in any way. Just watch over her and let her have whatever she wants.” He thought he saw a glint of disapproval in her eyes but shrugged it off. She couldn’t possibly understand his situation. No one could.

Miss Bishop shut off her tablet and slipped it into her large bag. She stood and picked up a paper from the folder she’d been studying. She took a deep breath, as if preparing to deliver another blow. She held out the paper, and Gil braced himself.

“We drew pictures. It’s a good way to find out what a child is thinking or feeling. This is what she drew.”

Great. He could just imagine what she’d drawn. An ugly monster or maybe a man with a mean face? After he took the paper, he puzzled at the image. “A dog?”

The nanny gave him a tender smile that warmed her eyes and put a glow in her cheeks. “Apparently she had one named Cookie, but he went away. I thought maybe you could tell me what happened. She obviously cared deeply for the little dog.”

Gil rubbed his bottom lip. “No. I don’t know about any pets she might have had.” He stared at the nanny. The compassion in her chocolate-brown eyes connected with a part of him he’d thought long dead. Her concern was directed at him. She understood what he was going through. It had been a long time since a woman had offered him understanding. The nanny was not only kind and intuitive, but she truly cared for others. No wonder Abby had taken to her so easily. That knowledge should make him happy. It didn’t. “Truth is, I don’t know much about her life for the last three years.”

“Is there a reason you didn’t go to see her?”

This nanny was also too inquisitive for his liking. He met her concerned gaze head-on. “I went every other weekend.”

She lowered her gaze, then stood and gathered up the rest of her belongings. “It’s just a suggestion, but a puppy would give her something to love and hold on to and make her feel more secure here.”

It was a good idea. One he should have thought of himself. If that’s all it would take to make his child happy, he’d buy her a dozen puppies. But why didn’t she feel secure with him? What was he not doing that made Abby think she wasn’t wanted? And how had this young nanny been able to connect with her in such a short time? “I’ll think about it.”

Miss Bishop took the hint and moved toward the door.

“Would you like me to start tomorrow, Mr. Montgomery?”

He wanted to call up the agency and tell them to send someone better suited. But this woman had connected with Abby in only an hour. He couldn’t dismiss that fact. But she also had him off balance. It had been a long time since he’d noticed a woman, and he couldn’t stop from noticing her. She brought light and energy to the room. “Yes. Be here by seven. I need to get to the shop early. I’ll notify the school about the change. And please, call me Gil.”

“And I’m Julie. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Gil watched her walk to her car, her dark wavy hair bobbing with each step. Somehow, Julie Bishop had managed to tear down his daughter’s resistance and put a dent in his own barriers. Maybe the Lord was listening after all. Now it was his turn to take a crack at it.

He took the stairs two at a time. Abby was curled up on her bed when Gil entered her room, the same way she’d been since he’d brought her home. The worn polka-dot backpack was close at her side. “I’m home.” He sat on the edge of the bed. “The nanny will be back tomorrow. She liked you a lot. Did you like her?”

Abby thought about that a moment before nodding.

“Good. I like her, too. She’s going to be taking you to school each morning.”

“Are you going away?”

“No.” He reached out and squeezed her hand. “I just have lots of work to do. But I’ll be home every night. Promise.” She looked skeptical. “Miss Bishop...”

“She said to call her Miss Julie.” Abby corrected him with a deep frown.

“Right. Miss Julie said you might like to have a puppy.” A light appeared in Abby’s eyes, causing Gil to catch his breath.

Abby nodded. “Can I?”

“Absolutely.” His little girl smiled at him, and he thought his chest was going to explode with joy. “I’ll get you whatever dog you want, sweet pea. I love you very much.” Abby stared at him a long moment. Did she believe him? She would. Because he’d tell her that every hour until she had no doubts left.

“What’s a sweet pea?”

He laughed and stroked her soft brown hair. She didn’t pull away this time. “It’s a pretty little flower that your grandma likes to grow.”

“Oh. That’s okay, then.”

Progress. And he had the new nanny to thank.