Читать книгу Silk And Seduction Bundle 2 - Louise Allen, Christine Merrill - Страница 16

After he left, Midge got properly dressed, then went to her writing desk, which Cobbett had placed under the window in the green sitting room. But after trimming her pen and smothering a series of yawns, she had to accept she was in no state to write anything sensible.

And, though it went against the grain to lie down in broad daylight, Midge was too tired to do anything else.

It had been worth it, though, she thought drowsily, toeing off her shoes and tugging back the coverlet. That conversation had made her feel much closer to Monty than ever before. She hoped they would have more conversations of the same sort, even if she did end up like this.

Though it was not the talking that had worn her out, but what came after, she smiled sleepily to herself.

She was just nodding off, when the term ‘criminal conversation’ popped into her head, and her whole body jerked awake. That was a term used to describe having an adulterous affair. The kind which were probably carried out in snatched moments during the daytime. Like the affair her mother had with the Earl of Leybourne when things with her father went sour.

She came wide-awake. The earl must have made Amanda feel like this, ready to cast her modesty aside, and roll about the floor on a heap of wet towels, in broad daylight. Did she have the potential to behave even more scandalously than her mother? For at least her mother had believed she was in love with the Earl of Leybourne when she had taken him to her bed. And love had no part in the marriage she had entered into with Monty.

But then, what sort of woman enjoyed marital relations so much, without being in love with her husband?

She went hot all over, until she remembered that since she had taken a vow to obey him, it was positively her duty to let Monty have his way with her, whenever and wherever he wanted.

She had no call to feel guilty!

She told herself that, time and time again over the next week or so. Whenever Monty initiated snatched ‘conversations’ during the daytime, which he did with increasing frequency. He tried to come back from wherever he had been to have ‘lunch’ with her almost every day. And once, when he had spent the morning in the estate manager’s office, he had watched out for her returning from her ride, and totally shocked her by tugging her into an empty stall and ‘conversing’ with her swiftly in the hay.

And the worst of it was, it never occurred to her to refuse his advances. The moment he came striding towards her, that purposeful gleam in his eyes, her entire body melted into a pool of lust.

The passion that flared between them would have been easier for her to accept, if she could believe that they were growing closer in other ways. But Monty paid her so little attention, she could not help feeling a bit used. Oh, she knew he was busy during the daytime. But why was he so averse to spending a whole night in her bed?

She began to take a nap in the afternoons, so that she could stay awake after they had made love and prolong the time she could spend in his arms. Because she knew that the moment she fell asleep, he would leave her bed. At least he waited until she had fallen asleep before leaving, so that his departure was not like a slap in the face. But no matter how hard she fought to keep her eyes open, she would invariably fall asleep before he did. And he was never there when she woke in the morning.

But if, she reasoned, she could manage to stay awake after they had made love, she could at least coax him into having the kind of conversation which engaged their minds, as well as their bodies.

At first, they only talked about trivial things. But then one day in March, news reached England that Bonaparte had escaped his island prison and was advancing on Paris, recruiting support along the way. Both of them began to search the newspapers daily after that, avidly following his progress.

Midge’s concern was all for how Bonaparte’s return would affect Rick, until Monty, who had lived and breathed the war with France for all his adult life, gave her a broader perspective on the situation. Before long she was entirely in accord with his view that there was no point in trying to negotiate a peace treaty with the upstart Corsican.

‘The Prussians have got the right idea. Declare war on him now and stop him before he regains too much power,’ he told her one night on the way back up to their rooms after dinner.

‘I wish it were possible for me to leave Shevington and…oh, I don’t know,’ he said moodily, opening the door for her. ‘I know I cannot rejoin my regiment, but if I went up to town, there might be some way I could be of use…’

‘Well, why don’t you go?’ she asked tentatively, kneeling down next to him as he crouched down on the hearthrug. Cook had developed some mysterious means of knowing how much she ate at dinner, and would send up a supper tray if she deemed it had been insufficient. Tonight, it contained crumpets for them to toast over the fire.

‘What about you?’ he asked, spearing one of the crumpets on a toasting fork. ‘I would not be able to spend much time with you.’

Midge bit back on the retort that she hardly saw him as it was. There always seemed to be somewhere more important for him to be.

Unless she was on her back, with her legs open.

She bit down on her the surge of resentment, recalling the advice her aunt had begun to slip into her letters lately. She knew she had been more than a little indiscreet, but when she sat at her desk, in that empty room in the afternoons, the temptation to pour her heart out quite often overwhelmed her. And her aunt’s responses clearly came from years of learning to cope in a marriage that was far from perfect. Only the day before, Lady Callandar had reminded her that it was essential to guard her heart. That it would be a grave error to think that the level of intimacy a man instigated in the early days of marriage was an indication he might be falling in love with her. No, she sighed, she ought to be grateful that Monty was taking great care, by distancing himself physically the moment he had got what he wanted from her, not to mislead her into thinking that!

She had also added, ‘Persons of quality have the luxury of enjoying privacy, not granted to the lower orders. Very few husbands and wives would share a room, let alone a bed, were they given a choice.’

It had been a shock to realize just how much information she must have relayed to her aunt. Although she was glad she had let slip that she was concerned about the ramifications of their sleeping arrangements. Because her aunt’s reply had certainly made her look at that particular issue in another light. The fact that Hugh and Amanda had shared a bed certainly had more to do with lack of space at the Brambles than any desire they might have felt for each other. Her three stepbrothers had all had to share a room, and she had been tucked away in a tiny space under the eaves. And Amanda had been so scared by the Gypsy’s curse that she would never have consented to remarrying if there had been any risk of getting pregnant again, only to see her baby die.

She pulled herself back to the present with an effort, smiled brightly and said, ‘I could visit my aunt.’ She had no other female relative in whom to confide, and she was beginning to think there was much more she could learn from Lady Callandar, could she only discuss her concerns face to face. ‘We could do all that shopping you deprived her of before the wedding,’ she joked. And then added, more seriously, ‘Honestly, Monty, do you think I would expect you to dance attendance on me when the future of Europe is at stake?’

He set the loaded toasting fork onto the tray, pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly. ‘It is useless even talking about it,’ he breathed into her hair. ‘My duty lies here now.’

Midge’s fleeting feelings of loneliness and resentment were swept aside by a surge of sympathy for him. He had done his duty all his life. But nothing he did ever seemed to satisfy his father.

‘I am not ready to give up yet.’ He smiled sadly. ‘The tenants, at least, are beginning to believe that I am nothing like Piers and that I won’t turn a blind eye to their petitions. And every day you spend with them, I see the twins becoming more like civilized human beings and less like savages.’

She reached up to smooth her hands over the bunched muscles of his shoulders, kissing his throat, his jaw, the corner of his mouth.

‘Tease,’ he growled, turning his head to take control of the kiss.

Then, just when she was beginning to think they were going to make love in front of the fire, he surged to his feet, swept her into his arms and carried her into her bedroom where he disposed of her clothing with an efficiency born of much practice.

Midge had not had to send for Pansy to brush her hair, or unhook her gowns or untie her stay laces since the night she had got married. Monty was extremely keen to perform all these services for her. And get her into bed.

But not to stay there, once he had got what he wanted.

She knew she ought not to let his reluctance to spend an entire night with her bother her so much. She told herself that he was just not the kind of man who would want to hold anyone close all night. His mother, who her aunt had said was a cold, proud woman, had abandoned him at Shevington by all accounts. And then his father had packed him off to school, while keeping his older brother close. Experiencing that kind of rejection as a little boy must have made him harden himself.

Army life, too, must have made him become even more self-sufficient. A soft-hearted man would have been in agony watching friends and comrades dying all around.

But she just could not shake the yearning to get closer to him. To break through all those barriers he had built around himself, and become, well, if not the love of his life, then at least his bosom friend.

He was beginning to open up to her, about his past and what had made him the way he was.

She had also heard, from Pansy, who’d got it from Cobbett, who had got it from a parlour maid who’d been just outside the door, that Monty had demanded that his father show her more respect. There had been a heated argument, apparently, but the outcome was that the earl did now accord her the common civilities any gentleman should extend to a lady.

All that had to mean something, did it not?

Summoning up every ounce of courage she possessed, she waited until Monty had stripped her completely naked, and was backing her towards the bed, before ducking out of his embrace.

‘Where are you going?’ he asked, mystified, as she darted over to her bedroom door.

She looked at him coyly over one shoulder. ‘I should like to try something different, tonight.’ She crooked her finger, beckoning him to follow her as she sashayed across the sitting room.

‘My God, Midge,’ he croaked, tugging off his cravat and tossing it aside as he stalked after her. ‘What you do to me!’

She opened his bedroom door, and nervously entered his domain for the first time since their marriage. She could hardly believe she had brought herself to walk around stark naked, but she had been sure that only acting so brazenly would excite her husband to the point where he would not argue about the spot she had chosen for their coupling.

What happened afterwards would be another matter. She knew that she might still be wanting more from him than he was willing to give. But she just missed him so much every second they were apart, waking or sleeping.

The worst that could happen would be that he would carry her back to her own bed once she had fallen asleep, and she would wake alone, as she had done every morning since she had married him, with the feeling that yet again, she was not quite good enough. That she was not the kind of woman a man would want to hold close to his heart all night.

He caught up with her, put his arms round her and drew her back against his chest. On the way through the sitting room, he had got rid of his shirt. She flexed her spine against the hair-roughened skin, butting her head up against his chin like a cat, as she gazed round his room.

There were no candles lit, but an enormous fire blazed in the hearth.

‘It is—’ she gasped, as he nuzzled the nape of her neck ‘—very warm in here.’

‘And it is about to get even hotter,’ he promised, taking one breast in each hand and squeezing rhythmically.

For the next few minutes, she lost the power of rational thought entirely as she gave herself up to Monty’s ministrations. And it was not until a long time later, when they lay, sated and panting on his bed, that she reflected, with great relief, that he had not seemed to mind her invading his sanctuary at all.

Perhaps all she had needed to do was ask. He was the product of a loveless marriage. Perhaps it had simply not occurred to him that a wife might want to sleep in her husband’s bed.

‘May I stay?’ she murmured drowsily, as he tucked her into the crook of his arm.

‘Hmm?’ He was dozing himself, now.

She raised herself on one arm, propping herself on his chest so that she could look into his eyes.

‘All night. I want to stay here. With you. May I?’

‘Not a good idea,’ he grunted, reaching up and twirling a strand of her hair round his forefinger. ‘I am bound to disturb you.’

‘What do you mean?’

He sighed, and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. When he opened them, his expression was defensive. ‘I do not sleep much these days. Not for more than a few minutes at a time, unless I have all the windows wide-open. Which is why my valet insists on building up such an enormous fire every night.’

‘Oh,’ said Midge thoughtfully. Whenever Rick had come home on furlough, he always wanted to keep the windows wide-open at night as well. It had caused no end of arguments with his brothers. Often, she would come down in the mornings to find him rolled up in his greatcoat, on the hearthrug in the parlour, with an empty brandy bottle at his side.

‘Do you have nightmares?’ she asked softly.

‘Not so much now, as when I first got back to England,’ he admitted, looking downright uncomfortable.

She lay down, with her head on his chest, and he wrapped both arms round her. Rick had always denied having nightmares too, even though she had heard him crying out in his sleep. Men hated anyone seeing they had any kind of problem that might be construed as a weakness.

‘You might not have any if I stay with you,’ she offered tentatively.

He chuckled. ‘You will freeze in here, once I open the windows.’

‘No, I won’t,’ she declared stubbornly. ‘Not with you to keep me warm. And not if we have plenty of blankets. Please, Monty, let me stay. What harm can it do?’

‘If it means so much to you,’ he said with a shrug, then set about rearranging the blankets so that most of them covered her.

She watched his silhouette, backlit by the firelight as he crossed the room and began systematically to fling open all the windows. And she sighed with pure contentment. He had not been leaving her bed every night because he did not care about her. Quite the reverse! He was attempting to be considerate.

It was almost as if he was trying to make this marriage as real as it could be, under the circumstances. What more could she ask for?

It was light when he carried her back to her bed. And as he set her down, she noted that he was fully dressed.

‘I did not think you would want my valet to come in upon you in that state,’ he said, covering her naked body with a sheet. Midge sleepily returned his kiss, rolled over and shut her eyes. Things could only get better from now on. He cared about her welfare. He really did. He had stood up to his father on her behalf and was beginning to talk to her as though her opinion mattered.

Her day followed its usual pattern. Though the sun shone brighter, the colours of the spring flowers were deeper, and she had far more energy, now those niggling fears over Monty’s feelings towards her were easing.

She did not worry she might have done something to displease him when he did not put in an appearance at lunch. Since last night, she was better equipped to accept that he had many calls upon his time.

She was sitting at her writing desk, poring over the latest letter from her aunt, when he surprised her by coming into the room so quietly she had no notion he was there, until he said, ‘What news have you received to make you frown so?’

‘What? Nothing!’ The letter was full of hints as to how to cope with the demands of ‘a lusty young husband.’ If he caught sight of some of the things her aunt had written, he might easily misconstrue the nature of the original questions. Guiltily, she crumpled the page and tossed it into the sitting room fire.

‘Midge,’ he said reprovingly, ‘I thought we had got to the stage where we could talk about anything.’

He sighed, taking her hands between his own. ‘If something is troubling you, I want you to tell me. Perhaps I can help?’

Well, she was not going to admit she had been writing to her aunt about the most intimate details of their married life!

But as for the other matter…she caught her lower lip between her teeth and searched Monty’s face.

She would, dearly, love to ask him what she ought to do about Stephen. For, not two days earlier, while she had been out riding with the boys, she had seen a man on a black stallion, on the brow of the hill, just on the borders of Shevington land. When he had doffed his hat to her, and she had seen his dark hair and the gleam of gold at his ear, she had instinctively started towards him. But then she had remembered Monty saying that Stephen only wanted to cause trouble.

She wanted to please Monty. It had not taken her long to see that he was nothing like her father, Kit Hebden. His handsome looks had not made him vain or cruel. He got no pleasure from deliberately shocking or hurting people. And he had been inordinately kind to her, since she had become his wife. Though she only had to think back to the scornful way he had spoken to her before he had discovered she was Rick’s sister, to know she was not the bride he would have chosen in a million years. He ought to have married someone who matched him, at least in looks, if not in wealth.

No, she sighed, he had enough to contend with in her, without her deliberately flouting his wishes.

And Stephen had quite deliberately ruined her wedding day. If he was here, it was because he wanted to cause more trouble. Sadly, she had shaken her head and turned Misty around.

‘Is that a friend of yours?’ Jem had asked, craning his neck round as they cantered away.

‘Why don’t you want to talk to him?’ put in Tobe.

She had wanted to talk to him, that was the trouble. Even knowing he had probably only come down here to disrupt the life she was slowly establishing for herself, she could not forget he was her brother.

‘Monty would prefer me not to,’ she had said sadly.

‘We won’t tell on you, Midge!’ Jem swore.

‘It will be our secret!’ added Tobe.

‘It would not be right,’ she said sadly. ‘Monty is only trying to protect me. He—’ she turned and looked over her shoulder wistfully ‘—is not a good person.’

Stephen’s stallion reared on its hind legs, pawing at the air. When he turned and galloped off, she had felt raw inside. He might not be a good person now, but she could not shake off the memories of how she had always been able to run to him, before the days of the murder and his banishment. Now that he was here, her impulse was to run to him again.

For he was her brother!

That very morning, she had seen Stephen again. Though she had deliberately got the boys to ride out in a different direction, Stephen had found them. And this time, he had been on Shevington land.

And that really worried her. She already knew Monty considered him a menace. She was fairly certain that this was one topic on which the earl would be in total accord with his son. She had learned the way titled, landed gentry thought of Gypsies from her grandfather and then her uncle.

Stephen had escaped detection so far. But if she told Monty he was in the area, would he feel compelled to have him hunted down and arrested for trespass? She knew that Monty would only consider he was protecting her. But she had no wish to precipitate an action that would hurt the man who had already suffered so much because of her family. No matter why he had come here.

And so, though she longed to be able to be completely honest with Monty, she mustered up a brittle smile and waved her hand airily towards the letter smouldering in the fireplace.

‘It was just some marital advice from my aunt that made me a little embarrassed.’

‘Oh?’ He glanced at the letter, then back at her troubled face. ‘Now I am truly intrigued.’ His face took on a purposeful look. ‘In fact,’ he growled, ‘I demand that you tell me.’

With one swift movement, he had her flat on her back on the floor, on the hearthrug, her arms pinned above her head. The demonstration of superior strength was so unexpected, so very forceful, that if she had not recognized the gleam of mischief in his eyes, she might have felt afraid. As it was…

‘Tell me,’ he growled low into her ear, ‘or I shall…’

‘What?’ she gasped, squirming with excitement. ‘What will you do to me?’

He raised himself a little, and ran his eyes slowly along the length of her body.

‘Dreadful things…’ he warned her, lowering his head and biting gently through the material of her gown, at a nipple that was sitting up and begging for his attention.

‘You promised to obey me,’ he said with mock severity. ‘So, if you won’t tell me this instant what was in that letter, then I shall have to punish you.’

‘H-how?’ She panted eagerly.

‘By making you suffer,’ he promised her, sweeping her skirts up to her waist and subjecting her to a few moments of sensual torment.

‘By making you beg,’ he warned her, stopping what he was doing just before she went over the edge. ‘And finally, by making you scream.’

‘You wouldn’t,’ she said a little uncertainly. He had not even wanted her to sleep in a cold bedroom. He would surely do nothing to hurt her! ‘You d-do not want to make me scream.’

With a wicked grin, he lowered his head and set his mouth to what she considered a most inappropriate place, kissing her where…

‘No!’ she whimpered.

This could not be right! But she could not stop him. His hands were clamped hard round her wrists, and his shoulders pinned her thighs apart.

‘Please…’ she begged, arching up against his mouth. ‘Stop it!’

But he did not stop, and before much longer, just as he had predicted, she was screaming out her shocked pleasure.

And then soaring to the heights all over again when he made love to her in the more conventional mode.

She did not recall him carrying her to her bed, but he must have done, because she did not wake up on the hearthrug, where she had expired from exhaustion when he had finished with her.

That night at dinner, she could not stop looking at his mouth and wondering how on earth he had learned that it was possible to do such extraordinary things with his tongue.

‘You ate hardly anything tonight,’ he observed, when they entered their suite later. ‘Were you not hungry?’

‘You know very well why I could not eat anything,’ she whispered, backing away from him as he stalked towards her in a purposeful fashion. ‘I am still far too shocked by…’ She bit down on her lower lip, shaking her head.

‘Your punishment?’ He chuckled, catching her up in his arms and carrying her to her bedroom.

‘Yes—No…’ She pushed a hank of hair out of her eyes, looking up into his face with exasperation. ‘I cannot imagine how you could have known how to do that to me…I mean…’ She felt her cheeks go hot, and knew her face must be bright red. It was such an odd thing to decide to do, if he had not known what the effect on her would have been. But if he had known what it would do to her, then he must have done it before. To some other woman.

She wondered if that other woman had screamed, too. And felt sure she must have done. Or Monty would not have warned her that she would.

‘Oh, this is hopeless,’ she grumbled as he set her down at the foot of the bed, spun her round and deftly began to undo her gown. ‘You know so much about all this, and I know virtually nothing!’ She had even had to write to her aunt to find out if it was normal for newly married men to want to sleep in a different bed from their wife!

‘What do you want to know?’ he said, nuzzling at the nape of her neck.

So many things! But mostly, ‘If I am supposed to enjoy this quite so much!’ she blurted out.

Her aunt and uncle had convinced her that she came nowhere near the standards of behaviour expected from a proper lady. And she was half-afraid that enjoying this aspect of their marriage proved that she was only one step away from being a complete wanton. Heavens, she would let him do just about anything to her. Anywhere! In a stable. On the hearthrug. She had even cavorted naked across the room last night to entice him, like the veriest light skirt!

It would be nice to hear him say something reassuring. Instead he made a strange choking sound against her neck, before beginning to chuckle.

‘What is funny?’ she asked, a little hurt. She had asked a perfectly serious question!

‘You!’ He chuckled. ‘I never know what you are going to say next!’

Oh, well, she sighed. That was what came of fishing for compliments. She supposed she ought to feel grateful that at least he found her amusing. Her mother must have been so hurt whenever Kit told her she was boring.

Besides, a lady never gave way to her emotions, she could hear her aunt telling her. In a marriage such as theirs, the last thing her husband would want was an emotional scene. Their…marital conversation…was one area where so far, they seemed to be in harmony. She would be a fool to turn it into a bone of contention and needlessly drive a wedge between them.

‘That first afternoon you were here, do you remember?’ Monty said, his arms snaking round her waist. ‘I left you to your own devices for five minutes, and while my back was turned, you managed to turn the stuffiest, most oppressive room in the whole place into a scene of utter carnage!’ Even now, the memory of her struggling up out of the curtains and declaring proudly that she had not broken anything, made him want to chuckle.

She was the sunniest, brightest thing that had ever come into his life. Shevington was not a cold, inhospitable place while she resided under its roof. Even when faced with one of his father’s most chilling lectures, he only had to think of the warm welcome waiting for him up here in these rooms to feel a smile welling up inside. Naturally he could not keep his hands off her. Not when she responded with such unfeigned enthusiasm. No matter what he did.

His conscience had troubled him after the way he had fallen on her, ravishing her on the sofa the first night they had arrived. Only the night before that, she had been a virgin! He should have been gentle and considerate. The rough way he had taken her had left her shaking with shock. He had paced up and down his room that night, cursing his lack of restraint and wondering how he could make amends. Though, with her typical generosity of nature, she had made the aftermath easy for him.

Every day, he thanked God he had found her. He loved the way her heart raced, just because he touched her. He loved that look of shocked gratitude in her eyes whenever he brought her to the heights of pleasure. And he loved watching her vainly struggling to stay awake, before eventually falling into a sated sleep in his arms.

He loved the fact that he was no longer on his own. He hugged her tight. She was his. Wholly his. To cherish and protect.

And speaking of which…

‘Midge,’ he said solemnly, turning her round in his arms to face him. ‘You make me forget what I wanted to say to you.’

He was perturbed to see her looking quite upset, and suddenly realized it had not been very tactful of him to laugh at the naiveté of her earlier question.

‘You are a delight,’ he said, kissing the frown line between her brows. More than that. He was coming to the conclusion that he was becoming addicted to her. He had certainly never suspected he was capable of making love quite so often. She only had to look at him in a certain way…just as she had done earlier, making him forget the reason he had come up to talk to her in the middle of the afternoon.

Which he had to bring to her attention now.

‘Sit down, will you, Midge,’ he said, leading her to the dressing-table stool, waiting till she had sat down, then deliberately distancing himself by walking away and leaning against the bedpost. ‘There is something I should like to ask you. I have been wondering if you have already written to your aunt about it…’ he conjectured, raising one eyebrow in enquiry. Then, receiving nothing in return from Midge but a blank look, he stuck his hands in his pockets and said, ‘Since we have been married, you have not refused me once. And you should have done, should you not? In the normal course of things?’

Midge’s insides hollowed out. She knew it! Her behaviour was not what a husband wanted in a wife at all! A true lady would have feigned reluctance, she expected. And made him work a bit harder before yielding. Pretence, she thought bitterly. That was what being a lady entailed. And she had never been any good at it.

She swallowed down a feeling of nausea. It was so unfair. He had taken full advantage of her wanton nature, after all!

‘You had better explain what you mean,’ she said mutinously. Because she was blowed if she could understand what he was complaining about!

A faint flush swept across his cheeks. ‘To be blunt, my dear, you have not experienced your monthly courses, have you, since we married. I would have thought, after six weeks, that you would have been…um…out of commission at least once…’

The relief that he was not about to tell her she was better suited to the position of mistress than wife was so acute that, for a moment or two, Midge went quite lightheaded.

‘Dammit, Midge, are you going to faint?’

‘I never faint,’ she said weakly as the room spun round her.

The next thing she knew, Monty had scooped her up off the stool and was lying her gently down on the bed. Then he knelt on the floor at the bedside and laid his hands over her stomach.

‘You are carrying my child,’ he breathed, in awe. ‘So soon!’

This was so typical of Midge, to charge full tilt into whatever she did! No holds barred.

She would be a wonderful mother. She was so loving; she would never abandon her child to the rigid regime at Shevington and seek her own amusements in London. Nor shame it by taking a succession of lovers, no matter how disappointed she might be in her husband.

‘A baby?’ Midge breathed, her own hands fluttering over where his rested on her stomach. ‘Do you really think so?’

Her whole world tilted on its axis. It had never occurred to her she might be pregnant. And yet, now he had put the idea in her head, it seemed so obvious. It certainly explained why she had been feeling a bit off-colour the last few days.

Monty looked at her slightly dazed face and felt a rush of protectiveness towards her. Midge was normally healthy and strong, but already carrying his child was taking its toll on her. It was not referred to as being in ‘a delicate condition’ for nothing!

She looked a little pale. Come to think of it, these last couple of weeks, she’d taken to going to bed every afternoon. Had she felt unwell and not told him?

When it was all his fault she was in this condition at all! Because his seed was growing inside her, the girl who was never ill had just almost fainted.

And suddenly, his father’s words rang in his head. ‘If she should die in childbirth, you will feel like a murderer…’

He leapt to his feet, running his fingers through his hair. Two of his father’s three wives had died in childbirth. And he had never really recovered from the loss. Especially not from the first. The love of his life. And suddenly, he knew exactly how the old man must have felt. The prospect of carrying on living without Midge was too ghastly to contemplate!

And more than that, he knew that if the worst should happen, it would indeed be all his fault. He clenched his fists, a streak of resolve running through him. He would just have to make damn sure nothing happened to Midge!

‘I will get Dr Cottee to come and look at you in the morning,’ he decided. She must have the best of care. Stay in bed all day every day if that was what it took to keep her safe!

‘What is it? What’s wrong?’

Midge was staring up at him with her huge grey eyes clouded with anxiety.

‘Nothing, nothing at all,’ he lied, his stomach roiling with fear.

‘Then why ask Dr Cottee to look at me? Does he even know anything about having babies? I thought you said he was an expert in nervous disorders?’

‘Well, I feel nervous,’ he admitted, then immediately felt a pang of contrition. He should be reassuring Midge, not spelling out the dangers and terrifying her too.

Though what he most wanted right now was to clutch her tightly and never let her go!

Instead, he had to get away from her, fast, before she picked up on his fear.

‘You need your rest,’ he said grimly, backing away from the bed and the temptation Midge presented, lying there looking so achingly vulnerable.

He hardened himself against the hurt look she gave him as he fled from her bedroom. If he stayed, she would winkle his deepest thoughts from him. She had the knack of doing that. He had told her things he had never confided to another living soul!

He slammed his door behind him, and leaned back on it, his whole body shaking.

He hated to have to admit that his father was right about anything, but he was already learning how painful it was for a man to be so much in love with his wife.