Читать книгу Regency Pleasures and Sins Part 1 - Louise Allen, Christine Merrill - Страница 56

Katherine was visited by a sudden, terrifying idea. If she could, in some small way, reconcile Nick and his father, surely that was the best way she could possibly repay him for everything he had done for her? It was the only way she could express her love, even if he never knew what she had done, or why.

‘Sir.’ She got to her feet as the Duke did. ‘May I speak with you, sir?’ As soon as she had thought it, she knew how foolish it was to be afraid. He was just a man, an old man she had grown fond of.

‘Of course, my dear. Would you care to come into the library?’ When they reached it he pulled forward a chair for her and she sank into it, searching for words she wished desperately she had had the opportunity to rehearse. ‘Katherine, is anything wrong?’

‘Sir … please forgive me if this is presumptuous, but I have to speak with you about Nicholas.’ He still seemed receptive, so she carried on in a rush. ‘Sir, he loves you so much, he is so proud of you and I believe you feel the same about him, but neither of you show it. He is hurting, although he hides it, and I know it cannot be easy for you either.’

The old man’s mouth twisted suddenly and Katherine held her breath, convinced she had either distressed him or had simply overstepped the mark, but all he said was, ‘Go on.’

‘He left all those years ago because he was hurt and angry. From what he has told me, I am sure he offered you ample cause for anger. But you knew where he was in London, you knew what he was doing and you did not send for him, or go to him. He was very young, very proud, with a pride he learned from you. And that pride has hardened now to the point where it is difficult for him to take that first step, even though his conscience tells him he should.

‘Sir, you were so cool, so ironic when he came back. My father died ten years ago, but what I remember most of all about him was his warmth, his forgiveness, even when we had hurt or disappointed him.’

‘I find it hard to imagine that you were ever a disappointment to your parents, Katherine.’ It was said gently without any of the mocking edge the Duke’s voice so often held.

‘Of course I was,’ she said, half-laughing at the memories. ‘All children are, surely, from time to time. But if they know themselves to be loved, then they try harder next time.’ It had worked with Philip while her parents were alive, but since then it seemed her own influence was never enough.

‘I love both my sons, and I am proud of them both.’

‘I know that, but do they?’ She was growing in confidence now she knew the old man would not snub her efforts. ‘Did you know that Nicholas fought at Waterloo, that he had two horses shot out from under him?’

‘I knew he fought there, he let that much slip.’ The Duke hesitated, then said slowly, ‘I felt such dread that I could hardly speak, such pride I thought my heart might burst with it. I saw him standing there, so correct, so controlled, so obviously unwilling to share with me what must have been a devastating experience, and there were no words.’

‘He is a fine man,’ Katherine said, unaware of how her expression betrayed her. ‘And a brave one. It hurts him to speak of that battle and he will say little to me because I am a woman and he wants to protect me. He would speak to you, if you only ask. Has he told you that we were held up by highwaymen on our way here?’

The Duke’s eyebrows rose. ‘He has not.’

Katherine giggled, despite the tension she was under. ‘He was wonderful. He climbed out of the carriage, told them he was Black Jack Standon and showed off the marks of the noose on his neck. He thinks so fast and has such courage.’ She hesitated. ‘I saw him on the scaffold in the moments before the trap dropped. No one there knew who he was: but he did. He knew he was a Lydgate, and he knew how a Lydgate faced death. And he learned that at your knee.’

The Duke suddenly dropped his face into his hands and Katherine, without thinking, fell to her knees beside his chair and put her arms around him. ‘Oh, sir, you are both so proud—please do not let that separate you from your son.’

After a moment he looked up at her and she saw his eyes were wet with tears. ‘Thank you for that, my dear. I imagine I am not an easy person to approach in such a way, am I?’

That, if ever she had heard one, was an understatement.

‘No, sir.’

‘I rather think your courage is a fitting match for my son’s. I will do as you ask, I promise. Perhaps, when he does bestir himself, you would be very kind and ask him to join me here. There is no need to tell him why. And Katherine,’ he added as she reached the door, ‘you have heard the expression, The pot calling the kettle black?’

‘Yes, your Grace.’ She regarded him, puzzled.

‘Might I humbly suggest you apply it to yourself?’

Even more puzzled, she walked back slowly into the Long Gallery. What could the Duke mean? She was so absorbed in speculation that when she bumped into her husband she spoke to him without the slightest self-consciousness.

‘Oh, there you are, Nick. Your father asked me when I saw you to request that you join him in the library.’

‘Yes, of course. Kat, are you …?’

‘Go on, he is waiting.’ She pushed him firmly in the direction she had come from and walked on until she found her favourite window seat and curled up in it.

She had had the temerity to chide the Duke for letting his pride stand between him and the son he loved. Was that what he meant? That she was letting her own pride stand between herself and Nick? It was a chastening thought. All the time she had been fighting his pride, the honour that she felt must be driving him to maintain this marriage, and all the time it was her own pride that was opposing him.

To see her motives in such a light was not very comfortable. And if the Duke was encouraging her to examine her feelings, did that mean he was not opposed to the match? What other way could she read it?

And if the Duke was not opposed, and Nick was doing everything in his power to stop the annulment—Why am I fighting? I love him. He cares for me. To turn from him cuts at his sense of honour and what is right. I might not be the bride he would have chosen, but … Her thoughts baulked for a moment, then continued. I can make him happy and, one day, he might grow to love me.

Dizzy with a sort of terrified happiness, Katherine got to her feet and ran down the Gallery. She would wait outside the library, close enough to see when Nick came out. And then she would tell him that she would agree to let the marriage stand if he still wanted it.

There was a seat just past the library door that would be ideal. She slowed to a decorous walk and came level with the library door, which stood ajar.

Nick’s voice came clearly through the opening, then faded. He was obviously walking up and down.

‘… honour bound to marry her. How could I do anything else? … trapped … make the best of it …’ She froze, uncaring that she was eavesdropping.

The voices within dropped to a murmur. It seemed both men were pacing. Then the Duke’s voice came to her.

‘A nice enough girl … but in no way fitted for the role of your wife. Such a marriage … disastrous, and I think you knew it … from the beginning, but once … your honour would not let you turn away from her … ‘

Katherine walked blindly on down the corridor. The Duke had spoken of her with pity but also with a finality that made any idea of giving in to Nick’s persuasions quite ineligible. Under no circumstances was she going to be the cause of a new estrangement from his father. How could she have so misinterpreted the Duke’s parting words to her? Perhaps they had simply been a subtly worded rebuke.

‘My lady?’ It was Heron, a salver balanced on his white gloved hand.

‘Heron, I am sorry, I did not see you.’ She blinked back the moisture in her eyes and forced a smile.

‘This note has just arrived for you, my lady. The lad from the Durham Ox delivered it.’

Curious despite her distress, Katherine lifted the proffered note, then froze as she saw the direction—it was unmistakably Philip’s handwriting. All other thought fled. Thank goodness, at least he was alive and in England. Oblivious of Heron’s presence, she broke the seal and scanned the single sheet.

Katy, I am here at the Durham Ox, please come, I badly need to see you, Your loving brother, Philip.

He was back in England! Was that good news, or bad? Part of her hoped he had come to his senses and decided to return and reform his life, but bitter experience and the desperate scrawl of the writing made her fear the worst. How did he know where to find her? Arthur, she supposed. She had asked him to keep it a secret, but presumably he considered she could not have meant to hide from her own brother.

‘Heron, I need a gig and a groom to drive me to this inn directly.’

‘My lady, his lordship—’

‘My lord is with his Grace and must not be disturbed. My bro … there is someone whom I need to see at once.’

‘Very well, my lady.’

Katherine did not trouble to ring for Jenny. Her bonnet was on its block, her pelisse and gloves were laid out on the bed and it was a matter of minutes to make ready. Katherine scooped up her reticule and hesitated; the stocking purse within had just a few coins in it after her extravagances for the ball. With a grimace she reached into the dressing table drawer and withdrew the last of the money Mr Wilkinson had given her. It would be a miracle if Philip were not short of funds.

Heron was hovering in the hall when she got there. ‘The gig is outside, my lady, but are you sure you should not wait for his lordship?’

‘Quite certain, thank you, Heron,’ Katherine said with a confidence she was far from feeling. She wanted to see her brother again; no day had passed without her worrying about him and how he was faring, but this unannounced arrival did not bode well.

‘Very well, my lady. Durren, drive her ladyship to the Durham Ox. And wait inside for her,’ he added with some emphasis.

Her first glimpse of the hostelry explained much about Heron’s concern. It was the antithesis of the inn they had stayed at on the last night of their journey from London. This place was stark, shabby and, to Katherine’s anxious eye, sinister.

Durren handed her down from the gig with an air that spoke clearly of his own feelings about the place.

The landlord, when he finally appeared, was surly until confronted by Katherine’s coldly raised eyebrows and firm request to be taken to Mr Cunningham. ‘Back parlour, miss,’ he admitted with a shrug and a jerk of his thumb.

‘I’ll wait in the tap,’ Durren said, eyeing the man with disfavour. ‘Unless you wish me to accompany you, ma’am.’

‘No, thank you, Durren. I will call if I need you,’ Katherine said and laid her hand on the door to the parlour.

‘Go and find Katherine.’ The Duke laid a hand on his elder son’s shoulder and let it rest for a moment. ‘It is time you ended this farce of a marriage.’

Nick looked at his father and met the dark eyes, so like his own. He could remember feeling this churned up inside, this unsure, only once before. And that was six years ago when he had made the decision to walk away from his home, his family, his inheritance without even the woman he had thought he loved by his side.

He put up his own hand and let it rest on the older man’s for a moment. Whatever else happened he had this now, this warmth and understanding that he had never shared with his father before. And he was all too aware he had Kat to thank for it. ‘I will go and find her now,’ he said.

Heron appeared as if by magic as he came out of the room. ‘My lord, might I speak with you?’

‘Later, Heron, I must find her ladyship.’

‘It is about her ladyship that I wish to speak my lord. She has left.’

‘Left? When?’

‘About thirty minutes ago, my lord. Without her maid.’ He hesitated. ‘A letter arrived for her, hand-delivered from someone staying at the Durham Ox.’

‘From whom?’ Who the devil could be writing to Kat, and who, staying at the Ox, could possibly know her?

‘I could not say, my lord.’ The butler hesitated. ‘It seemed to worry her, my lord, although as she already appeared to be somewhat distressed I cannot be certain it was the letter that had that effect.’

‘Lady Seaton was distressed? Do you know what caused that?’ What could have upset her enough to leave so abruptly?

Heron looked embarrassed, an unusual phenomenon. ‘I was coming to look for her and saw her approaching down the corridor. I do not think she was aware of me, as I had just come around the corner and this end of the corridor is somewhat shadowed. She stopped abruptly at the door of his Grace’s study, hesitated and appeared to listen. She only stood there a moment, but she put up her hand to her mouth, as though in distress, and when she came up to me I saw she had tears in her eyes.’

Nick stared at the butler blindly. The door had been ajar, he had noticed it just now as he left. What had they been saying that she could have overheard? Then he realised just how their conversation about Arabella could have been misunderstood, especially if only partly heard.

What had he said? Something about having realised that Arabella was not the right wife for him, but feeling honour bound—feeling trapped—into asking her to marry him. His father’s words came back clearly. A nice enough girl, Miss Somersham, but in no way fitted for the role of your wife. Such a marriage would have been disastrous, and I think you knew it in your heart from the beginning, but, once committed, your honour would not let you turn away from her, I know that. If the name had been inaudible, as indeed it might, for the Duke had been pacing up and down the room as he spoke, then Kat could well have believed everything he said applied to her.

‘Her ladyship began to say something,’ Heron ventured. ‘I thought it might have been her brother who had written.’

‘Hell,’ Nick said softly. He had always felt confident that Kat would not take it into her head to simply leave him and try to obtain an annulment at a distance because she had no one to go to and no resources. But her brother, however unsatisfactory, was at least a male protector. ‘Thank you, Heron.’ He strode towards the hall, taking the stairs two at a time and burst out of the front door just as Robert rode past on the grey stallion Xerxes. The animal shied violently, then reared, almost unseating Robert, who got it under control with an effort and the use of language most unfitting to a candidate for the church.

Nick grabbed the rein. ‘Off, Robert. I need him.’ ‘What for?’ Robert dismounted. ‘Is something wrong?’ ‘Kat.’ Nick swung up into the saddle and reined in hard while he found the stirrups. ‘She’s run off.’ He was not wearing spurs, but the grey did not need them; with a snort it gathered its haunches under it and set off at the gallop.

‘Phil, you look so thin!’ Katherine put her arms round her brother and hugged him, appalled at how the ill-pressed coat hung off his frame. She released him and stood back to look at him anxiously. ‘Have you been ill? Or not eating properly.’

He shrugged sulkily. ‘No money. France ain’t all it’s cracked up to be, Katy. The inns are the devil of a price, the food’s awful unless you pay through the nose and the gaming’s crooked.’

‘Then why play?’ she asked despairingly.

‘How else was I supposed to live?’ he demanded petulantly. ‘It’s all right for you—you’ve been living in your palace with your marquis, dining off gold plates, no doubt.’

The sheer unfairness of it stung her into retaliation. ‘I had no idea who he was until we got here! You left without even waiting for the execution, without a word to me other than that you had gone to France—and you stole my clock and ear-bobs.’

He looked shiftily ashamed, but continued to whine. ‘I couldn’t stand it, I told you that. You do not know how bad it was for me.’

‘For you? I faced debtors’ prison, marriage to a man I thought was a common felon, the prospect of widowhood—and you could not stand it? There are times, Philip, when I despair.’

He shifted around the room, fidgeting so as not to meet her angry eyes. ‘Well, I’m back now, and you’ve fallen on your feet. Your marquis will have to do something for me.’

‘Oh, no, he will not,’ Katherine said vehemently. ‘I am getting the marriage annulled, so do not think you can sponge off Nicholas.’

‘Annulled?’ Her brother’s face broke into an unpleasant grin. ‘After you spent a night in a cell with him, goodness knows how many on the journey up here and have been living with him ever since? I know all about the Dower House—the goings-on at the big house are the main topic of gossip hereabouts.’

‘I will rely on medical evidence,’ Katherine said stiffly.

Philip sneered. ‘Virginities are restored daily in every brothel in the land, no one is going to believe—’

He did not finish the sentence. The door slammed back on its hinges and a tall figure took one stride into the room and hit him square on the jaw.

‘Do not,’ said Nicholas, Marquis of Seaton, massaging his grazed knuckles, ‘do not ever speak to my wife like that again. Get up and apologise.’

Philip struggled to his feet and backed away. ‘Katy, you know I didn’t mean it … ‘

‘Apologise.’

‘I am sorry, Katy.’

‘Now, listen to what I have to say, and listen to it well.’ Nick pressed Katherine gently down into a chair and smiled reassuringly. The caressing look was strangely at odds with the cold anger in his voice. ‘Tomorrow you will come to Seaton Mandeville and you will ask for Mr Wilkinson, the steward. He will arrange a quarterly allowance for you and will advance you the first quarter.’ He named a sum that made Katherine start in surprise and a slow smile to spread itself over Philip’s pasty features.

‘If my wife feels able to receive you tomorrow, she will tell Mr Wilkinson so. If not, you will leave the district immediately. If you attempt to visit Katherine without her express permission, the allowance will be stopped. If you try and run up debts using my name, it will be stopped. If you say or write anything to Katherine that causes her the slightest distress, it will be stopped. Is that clear?’

Philip nodded dumbly.

‘My wife, your sister, is a lady whose only fault is her loyalty to you and her persistent love for a man who has let her down, betrayed her and insulted her. You may believe she will forgive you and indulge you, but understand this: I do not forgive you, I do not trust you and, if I have to, I will break you.’ He turned on his heel without looking further at the shaken man. ‘Come, Kat, it is time to go home.’

Katherine held out a hand to her brother. ‘I will see you tomorrow, Philip, I promise.’ Then she was out of the door and being walked firmly downstairs. This was the crowning humiliation in a day of humiliation. Katherine managed to keep her expression calm as Nick spoke to Durren who was waiting outside, warily holding the grey horse.

‘How did you drive here?’

‘In the gig, my lord, it is in the yard.’

‘Very well, I will drive her ladyship back, you can ride Xerxes.’

‘I’ll lead him, if it’s all the same to you, my lord,’ the man said with some feeling. ‘Shall I get the gig, my lord?’

‘No, we will walk round. Thank you, Durren.’

Katherine got up on to the leather seat and sat silently while they drove out of the yard, past Durren and on to the road that led to Seaton Mandeville. What can I say to him? she wondered miserably. How can I apologise?

‘Kat, I am so sorry.’ He took the reins in one hand and clasped the other over hers. ‘That must have been so distressing for you. I should have handled it better, but I am afraid I lost my temper.’

‘You are sorry? Nick, I was wondering how I could start to apologise. That you should feel you have to give Philip an allowance.’ Her voice faltered and she stiffened her spine. ‘Tomorrow I will speak to him. He must understand that of course he cannot accept what you have offered.’

‘I am not going to have my brother-in-law in and out of debtors’ prison. This seems the best solution,’ Nick replied calmly.

‘But he will not be your brother-in-law!’

‘Kat.’ He tightened his grip on her clasped hands. ‘You have been eavesdropping.’

‘I know,’ she admitted shamefaced. ‘I did not intend to. But it was a good thing that I did.’

‘Because you now know that I feel I have to stay married to you and my father opposes the match?’

‘Yes.’ She was not going to cry, not out here in the middle of the public highway.

‘And like many eavesdroppers you misunderstood what you heard. We were discussing my ill-fated romance with Arabella. My father is entirely in favour of my marriage to you—and we are both in your debt for what you said to him this morning.’

Unsure she was hearing aright, Katherine asked, ‘You are reconciled?’

‘I do not think we were ever in a state of conciliation to be returned to!’ Nick chuckled. ‘This harmony is strange for both of us, I rely on you, Kat, to act as ambassador and make sure we stay in such a condition.’

‘But you cannot wish to be married to me,’ she said, trying to keep her voice steady and not sound as though she were pleading.

‘Why should I not wish to be married to a lady I love?’ Nick turned the gig through the gates of the park and drove off the roadway under a spreading grove of chestnut trees. He looped the reins around the brake and shifted in his seat to look at Katherine.

‘You … you love me?’ No, it was not possible. ‘Why did you not tell me?’

‘Because you would think I was trying to hold you to the marriage and because, then, you did not want to be held. I rather hoped you might grow to wish it. I was going to tell you after our dinner party when you saw for yourself what a fitting hostess you made.’

‘I always wished it,’ she whispered.

‘What?’

‘Ever since the journey up here. I knew I loved you, and I knew I could not be your wife.’

‘Because of who my father is?’

She nodded. ‘And because I could not hold you to a marriage begun in such circumstances.’

‘My father points out that I have no need to marry for fortune and that in you I may, against all my deserts, have found a woman who will be the making of me.’

‘Oh, Nick.’ She found she was in his arms, not quite certain how she got there. ‘I could not bear to come between you and your father, not after you had been estranged so long.’

Nick pushed her gently back from him until he could look into her face. The dark eyes that had so affected her across that stark prison room held hers. ‘In effect, you proposed marriage to me, Kat. Now I propose that we stay married. What do you say to that?’

‘Yes, Nick. Oh, yes.’

‘Then there is but one act left to make it so.’ His long fingers caressed down her cheek. ‘Your bed or my bed, Lady Seaton?’ He gathered up the reins and turned the gig in the direction of the Dower House.

With the mid-day sun streaming over the amber silk of the coverlet, Katherine opened her arms and her heart and her body to her husband, her eyes wide, drowning in the dark fire of his as he possessed her, joining them.

‘I love you, Kat,’ he murmured as she cried out his name, arching to meet him, match him, envelop him. ‘I love you,’ and his beautiful, brave Marchioness drew him down to her heart and gave him back love for love.

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