Читать книгу Modern Romance July 2015 Books 5-8 - Andie Brock, Louise Fuller - Страница 24

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

‘I DON’T UNDERSTAND YOU.’

They were the words he awoke to the next morning. He stared at the face that belonged on his pillow.

‘Where did the other earring come from?’ Luka asked, because she was wearing both.

‘I always carry it in my purse,’ Sophie said.

She would carry her mother with her for ever, Luka knew. If the truth was ever revealed she would never forgive and he was right not to trust her with his heart.

Some things were too big to come back from.

‘You don’t understand me, Sophie, because I won’t let you.’

He rose from the bed.

‘Will you let me try?’

It was the calmest they had ever been, like sweeping up the debris after a wild party that neither regretted.

‘No,’ Luka said. ‘Sophie...’ He sat on the bed and took her hand. ‘We had a love that most people never know. You know that saying...better to have loved and lost—’

‘I hate that saying,’ Sophie broke in. ‘I hate that saying more than any other. Who wrote that?’ Sophie demanded.

‘Tennyson.’

‘Well, he was wrong.’

‘I agree,’ Luka said. ‘I wish I’d never loved you.’

‘But you did.’

‘I did.’

‘And you don’t now?’

Luka wasn’t that good a liar so he gave her a kiss instead. A nice one, not a loaded one. A sweet one, if, between them there could be such a thing.

‘In a few days this will be over,’ Luka said. ‘We’re going to get back to our lives knowing that we did the right thing by your father. It will be easier on us both once we get to Bordo Del Cielo.’

‘How?’

‘I’ll check into the hotel and, like a good groom, I’ll stay well away from the blushing bride-to-be.’

‘Not as blushing as I’ll be when you jilt me.’

‘I can’t marry you, Sophie. I can’t be your fake husband. I can’t stand in a church and exchange vows that I know we can’t keep.’

He got up and headed to the bathroom.

‘Hey, Luka,’ Sophie said. ‘I wished I’d never loved you too.’

* * *

The calm did not just belong in the bedroom.

A new presence had arrived with the dawn, though no one fully acknowledged it.

The colour seemed to have drained from Paulo’s irises, Luka noticed as he wished him good morning.

And as Sophie passed her father his coffee and his shaking hand reached for it, it was a natural transition for her to lift the cup to his lips and help him to drink it.

The nurse stood, about to help, but Sophie shook her head.

‘I’ve got this.’

So too had Luka.

He was so kind to Paulo and so engaged in organising the quick wedding that there were times Sophie had to catch herself because it felt real.

‘What about the evening?’ Paulo wheezed.

‘The hotel is already holding a function,’ Sophie explained, and she looked at Luka, but he shook his head. There was nothing he could do. It had been the first thing he had sold. ‘The hotel is under new ownership.’

‘We don’t need that hotel,’ Paulo said. ‘Before it was built we would party in the street. I remember my wedding to your mother—we came out of the church and straight into a feast. Perhaps you could ring Teresa at the deli and see if she can sort out the food and the drinks...’

‘Pa...’ Sophie looked over to where her father sat. ‘Why would Teresa want to help us when you—?’

‘Sophie.’ Luka stopped her from continuing and then watched as Sophie walked out onto the balcony. He could see her hands gripping the railing as she fought not to confront her father. Despite Paulo insisting he wasn’t confused, he seemed to live between the long-ago past—when Rosa had been alive—and then the present, as if he had simply erased the damage that had been caused in between.

‘Scusi,’ Luka said to Paulo, and walked out to join her.

‘He gets confused,’ Luka said patiently.

‘He gets confused when it suits him.’

‘No,’ Luka said. ‘I don’t think he can reconcile what he has done. He needs to go home. I can see that now.’

‘No one will be talking to him, though,’ Sophie said. ‘Have you asked Matteo to be your groomsman?’

‘I have.’

‘And what did he say?’

‘That he’ll move things around so that he can be there.’

‘I want Bella there too.’

‘I’m not sure if that’s wise,’ Luka said. ‘Matteo will be with Shandy. You know a bit of what went down between him and Bella.’

‘I believe that it was Bella who went down,’ Sophie said. ‘And your friend paid for the pleasure.’

‘You don’t let a single thing go.’

‘You refused my offer of a clean slate,’ Sophie pointed out. ‘So tell your friend that, however uncomfortable Bella’s presence might make him, she’ll be there.’ She rubbed her temples and dragged in air. ‘I need to sort out some accommodation for us.’

‘That’s all sorted,’ Luka said.

‘How?’

‘Come on.’ Luka led her back inside then he addressed her father. ‘Paulo,’ he said in a very practical voice, ‘you will be tired after the ceremony. Perhaps we could have a few people back to your home...’

He gave a pale smile as Sophie let herself back in but then Paulo spoke. ‘I don’t have a home there any more.’

‘Yes, Paulo,’ Luka said, ‘you do. Since his death my lawyers have been sorting out the properties that my father acquired. You have your home to return to. It is all there, nothing has been changed. Angela has been taking care of it.’

For this gift to her father Sophie could almost forgive Luka for not loving her enough to remain in her life.

‘I have a home,’ Paulo sobbed. ‘Your mother’s dress will be there, Sophie. You can wear it for the wedding.’

‘No!’ It was Sophie who interrupted Paulo. ‘I’m not wearing my mother’s dress. I’m not my mother...’

‘Sophie, please,’ her father begged, but on this she stood firm.

‘I don’t want a replica of your marriage, Pa.’ She was caught between the truth and a lie. ‘I want our marriage to be different.’

She was torn, completely, as she walked out of the lounge and into the bedroom.

‘What was all that about?’ Luka asked, having followed her in. ‘I thought you were trying to give him the wedding of his dreams before he dies.’

‘Remember that you said if this was real, if we were in love...?’ Sophie turned the tables on him. ‘Then my father would know I would not be simply agreeing to everything. My father sees those times through rose-coloured glasses. If we really were marrying...’

‘Go on.’

‘What’s the point in going on?’ Sophie demanded. ‘Why should I tell you the wife and woman I want to be when you’re not even prepared to be there to find out? Why should I trust you with my dreams again when you won’t let me into your heart? You can have sex with me. Luka, you can be kind to me, you can argue with me if you must, but don’t ask for my private thoughts when we both know that you’re planning to walk away from me.’ She couldn’t continue speaking. ‘I’m going to Bella’s.’

‘We need to get organised for tomorrow.’

‘I am organised,’ Sophie said. ‘We have the church booked, we have your plane to take us. I’ll call Teresa and then I’m going out.’

It was amongst the hardest of calls she had ever made. Teresa was as cold and as hesitant as before, but, Sophie guessed, work was work for her and perhaps it was because of the mention of the Cavaliere name that Teresa agreed to cater back at the house for the wedding.

‘Grazie,’ Sophie said, and hung up.

She collected her bag from the bedroom and gave her father a kiss on the cheek.

‘How long will you be?’ Paulo asked.

‘You’ll be in bed by the time I’m back.’ Sophie smiled. ‘I’ll see you in the morning. Just think, Pa, this time tomorrow you’ll be back in Bordo Del Cielo. You can sleep well tonight, dreaming of that. I love you so much.’

It was getting harder and harder to say goodnight, never knowing if this would be the last time.

She went over and gave Luka the necessary kiss. ‘Soon,’ Sophie said, as she lowered her head and kissed his mouth then whispered into his ear, ‘we’ll be living apart...’

‘What time will you be back?’ Luka asked.

‘You’re not my husband yet.’ Sophie smiled with her lips but not with her eyes and then she moved her mouth to his ear. ‘Dawn,’ she whispered, ‘so, as said, you can sleep well.’

She could not stand another night spent next to a man she could never have so she headed to the door, but Luka followed her out.

‘The plane leaves at seven.’

‘I’ll be back well before then.’

‘Tonight might be our last chance to talk...’

‘What’s the point?’ Sophie said. ‘There’s nothing left to say. We both know what you’re going to do to me. You’re wrong, Luka, I’m not fourteen, you don’t have to prise me from you knee. I’ll be at the church, and if you’re not...’ Sophie shrugged. ‘I’ll survive. I’ve had an awful lot of practice.’

She held it together until she made it to the apartment and only there, with Bella, did she finally let her guard down.

‘He says he wishes he’d never loved me.’

‘At least you have known love... Better to have—’

‘Don’t,’ Sophie warned. ‘If you start quoting Tennyson, I’ll scream!

‘Who’s Tennyson?’

‘I don’t really know,’ Sophie said, ‘but I don’t think he understood the heart...’

But maybe he did, because the thought of never having known Luka’s love filled her with dread.

‘He’s going to jilt me.’

‘More fool him,’ Bella said.

‘And I had a bit of an argument with my father. He wants me to wear my mother’s wedding dress and I said no. I don’t want a marriage like theirs.’

‘I’m already making your dress,’ Bella said. ‘I guessed that this might happen when Luka agreed to get engaged so I’ve already started it. I kept some money back from our savings and I bought some chiffon from the market. I will work on it through the night.

‘I’m going to be there with you, Sophie.’

‘No.’ Sophie shook her head because despite her brave words to Luka she could not put her friend through that. ‘You have to work, and anyway...’

‘Anyway?’

‘Matteo will be there and...’ Sophie could hardly bear to tell her, but Bella already knew.

‘I know that he has a woman,’ Bella said. ‘And I know that she’s stunning. I’d love to come and be your bridesmaid, Sophie. And don’t worry about work—as of this morning I am suspended.’

‘Bella?’

‘I got in a lot of trouble,’ Bella said. ‘I spilt an ice bucket on a guest’s lap when I was delivering the breakfasts to the room.’

‘An ice bucket.’

‘It was mainly cold water. I tripped but his girlfriend kicked up a fuss and called for the manager. It was a simple accident. The room was dark. I didn’t see him—or rather they didn’t hear me come in with breakfast... They were otherwise engaged.’

Sophie looked up to the sound of venom and mischief in Bella’s voice and her mouth actually gaped for a moment before speaking.

‘You threw a bucket of iced water over Matteo?’

‘I did.’ Bella grinned. ‘So, you see, now I am free to be at your wedding and I’m going to make your the wedding dress. Sophie, you’re going to be the most beautiful bride.’

‘Even if he doesn’t get to see me?’

‘Oh, he’ll see you,’ Bella said. ‘I’ll make sure Matteo takes a few pictures as you arrive.’ She hugged her friend and recited a Siclian saying. ‘“Di guerra, caccia e amuri, pri un gustu milli duluri.”’

In war, hunting and love you suffer a thousand pains for one pleasure.

‘The pleasure will be yours,’ Bella said.

‘It won’t be, though,’ Sophie said.

She was tired of the old ways, tired of false pride and sayings that spoke of revenge.

She was tired, so tired of hollow victories.

Maybe she had grown up.

Sophie wanted the man she loved.