Читать книгу The Complete Fab Confessions of Georgia Nicolson: Books 1-10 - Louise Rennison - Страница 167

I think I’ve lost a lot of weight from my bottom. No one has noticed. Mum just wanders around in a dream. She has got a calendar up in the kitchen with the days marked off until Vati gets back and a heart drawn round the date. How sad is that at her age? I said, “Don’t worry yourself about my breakfast, Mutti. I’ll get it myself, you get on with your own very important life.”

She was humming and slathering herself with creams and ignoring me. So I said even louder, “Something quite interesting happened last night; I slit my throat and my head fell off. Have you seen it anywhere?”

Mum called from the bathroom. “Has Libby got her shoes on?”

“I think Mr Next Door might be another transvestite like Vati.”

She came out of the bathroom then. “Georgia, is it possible for you to help at all? Where is your sister?”

“Mum, have you noticed anything unusual about me? I am not happy…in fact, I am very unhappy.”

“Why? Have you broken a nail?” And she laughed in a very unpleasant way. Then she called out, “Libbsy, where are you, pet? What are you doing?”

I could hear Libby’s muffled voice from Mum’s bedroom and a bit of miaowing. Libby called, “Nuffing.”

Mum rushed in there, saying, “Oh God.”

I heard bang bang, and Mum yelling, “Libby, that is Mummy’s best lipstick!”

“It looks nice!!!!”

“No, it doesn’t…Cats don’t wear lipstick.”

“Yes.”

“No, they don’t.”

“Yes.”

“Owww, don’t kick Mummy.”

“Bad Mummy!!!”

Hahahaha. She who laughs last laughs…er…the last.