Читать книгу The Complete Fab Confessions of Georgia Nicolson: Books 1-10 - Louise Rennison - Страница 211

Jools, Ellen, Mabs, Rosie, Jas and I met behind the tennis courts for a confab. Elvis Attwood, the grumpiest caretaker in the universe, shouted at us as we passed his hut, “I’ve got my eye on you lot. Don’t come sneaking into my hut otherwise there will be trouble.”

He’s beyond bonkerdom. He came to a school dance and did some exhibition twisting on stage until his back went and he had to be taken to casualty. That’s when we started calling him Elvis.

I waved and shouted back, “Greetings, oh mad one.”

We were grumbling and moaning as we sat down. As usual in this fascist hell-hole we have been split up in class and not allowed to sit together. I have my “pal” Nauseating P. Green next to me. She wears those glasses that look like they have been made out of jam jars, which is very unfortunate. She’s got really bulgy eyes anyway. Rosie said, “I think there must be a touch of the goldfish in her family genes.”

As we ate our snacks you could see right up Jas’s skirt. I said, “Jas, do you always wear those huge knickers? A small dog could creep up a knicker leg and you wouldn’t know.”

“Well I like to be comfy.”

“They’re not very sexy, are they?”

“You said you thought little knickers were stupid. Remember Lindsay’s thongs?”

“Shut up, don’t upset me. You know how visual I am. Now not only have I got Hawkeye snogging Herr Kamyer in my brain, I’ve also got Wet Lindsay’s thongs.”

Ellen said, “Anything happening with you and Robbie?”

I explained about my glaciosity and maturiosity plan. They all nodded wisely. We are a very wise group. Full of wisdomosity. I am almost certainly wiser than God, who doesn’t seem able to grant the simplest of requests. Which is why I have turned to Lord Buddha.

Rosie spoilt the moment of wisdomosity by saying through a mouthful of cheesy snacks. “What in the name of pantyhose are you talking about?”