Читать книгу The Complete Fab Confessions of Georgia Nicolson: Books 1-10 - Louise Rennison - Страница 329

Hockey match against boring old Hollingbury College. They really do think they are cool, but sadly they are about to find out that they are not.

I had a sneaky look in their changing room when I pretended to be fastening up my boots. It was a nightmare of thongs. I noticed Miss Stamp busily popping in and out, saying things like, “Don’t mind me, I was just wondering if you had enough towels.”

She was all red and keen. Running on the spot, and so on. Very alarming if you’re not used to it. I noticed quite a few of the Hollingbury girls were rushing off into the loos when she came in. They were getting a bit jittery. So I used sporting tactics. I said, “Miss Stamp, I wonder if the Hollingbury team would appreciate a bit of physio after the match. You know, if they had any little knocks or anything you could offer to…er…treat them yourself. Use those magic healing hands.”

Adolfa was a bit suspicious. But she couldn’t figure out my angle. I heard her go back into their changing room and say something about treatment. All of the Hollingbury girls shot out of the door and on to the pitch. Ah good, a nervous team, desperate not to get injured!! Result!!!

It’s very nippy noodles. I’ve got three pairs of knickers on. I probably look like Nauseating P. Green from the back…or Slim. Still, better a fat bum than a numb bum. There is a little crowd supporting us, most of my mates actually. Although not Jas, she wasn’t at school today. I hope she has not gone all weird because of Tom.

The slimiest wet weed who shall remain nameless (Lindsay) is captain of the team. Erlack…well I will not do anything that she says. In our pre-match talk she said, “So remember to watch me for instruction, and when you get into any kind of shooting position, watch for me to come and take on the shot.”

Oh yeah, dream on, wet and weedy one. With a bit of luck someone will knock her stick insect legs from under her. I am not saying I want her to be badly injured, just badly enough that she has to go away to a convalescent hospital somewhere (Mars) for a year or two. Thank you, Buddha. (You can see how I am not taking poo lying down.)