Читать книгу ‘… then he ate my boy entrancers.’ - Louise Rennison - Страница 60

Oh, yeah. Dream on.

Mutti called up, “Georgie, Grandad’s here!”

I kept silent behind the door. Naomi, Angus and Gordy were all in my bed – again – doing their idiot-cat-staring-at-me thing. They had better not give my position away. It would be all right if it was just Gordon – then I might have a one in two chance of not being caught; because although one of his eyes is fixed on me, the other is glancing out the window.

The advance loon party came clanking up the stairs.

“Gingey, Gingey, it’s meeeeeeee, Libbbbeeeeee…Where is you?”

I heard her huffing and puffing outside my door and doing her alarming laugh. “Hoggyhoggy. Here I come, reggy or nut.”

Then she kicked my door and it burst open, very nearly flattening my nose.

“Owwwwww.”

She put her mad little face around the door and smiled at me. When, and how, did she lose her front teeth? And why did she think it was attractive to push her tongue through the gap?

“Gingey, there you is! Cheeky monkey.”

She threw all the cats off the bed and started tucking scuba-diving Barbie and Jesus/Sandra up nice and comfy under the duvet. I tried to reason with her.

“Bibsy, that’s not really Barbie and…er…Sandra’s bed, is it? It’s my bed, and there’s no room for—”

She put her arms up to me and said, “Kiss.”

Oh, blimey. She is cute, though. I picked her up to give her a little cuddle, and she put her hand on my nose and was sort of squeezing it and twirling it around. It was quite painful, actually. Dear God I hope it doesn’t swell up.

Grandad was the next to arrive at the open-bedroom loon party.

He popped his head around the door and said, “Hello, love, I’ve just been to the doctor because I’ve got a steering wheel down my shorts. I said to him, ‘Doctor, will you do something about this steering wheel down my shorts? It’s driving me nuts!’ Do you see? ‘Steering wheel, driving me nuts!’ Do you get it? Do you?”

How DISGUSTING!!

He’s an octogenarian.

My ears feel like prostitutes.