Читать книгу ‘Stop in the name of pants!’ - Louise Rennison - Страница 92

I was just having a dream about being in Rome with the Luuurve God. I had a cloak on and Masimo said, “So, cara, what have you come to the fancy-dress party as?” And I dropped the cloak and said, “A fried egg.”

The phone rang and I practically broke my neck tripping over Angus and Gordy, who just emerged from the shadows.

I couldn’t say anything because I was so nervous.

Then I heard Grandad say, “Hello, hello, speak up.”

I said, “Grandad, I haven’t said anything yet.”

He was in full-Grandad mode. “You’ll like this: what do pigs use if they hurt themselves? Ay ay??? Oinkment. Do you get it, do you see??? Oinkment!!! Oh, I make myself laugh. Are you courting yet? You should be – there’s nothing like a bit of snogging to perk you up.”

Oh dear God, my grandvati was talking about snogging.

Now I have finally experienced every kind of porn. This is mouldyporn.