Читать книгу ‘…startled by his furry shorts!’ - Louise Rennison - Страница 6

Dear worldwide Chums and Chumettes,

(Hang on a minute, when I say “worldwide” I don't mean “enormously fat”, I merely mean internationalwise.) Where was I before you got the wrong end of the stick? Oh yes, do you know how much I love you all? A LOT. That is how much. I do, it is le fact. Why else would I spend so much time rifling through my creative drawers (oo-er) writing another diary?

Actually, as I say to anyone who will listen (i. e., no one), I am practically a saint in human form. But there’s very little thanks in it. For instance, the other day I helped a little old lady across the road. I didn't have to. In fact, I was in a tearing dash on my way to get new lip gloss. But I did, and do you know what she did? She hit me with her umbrella! She said she didn't want to cross the road, she was waiting for her friend to pick her up to go pole dancing!!!

That is the kind of world we live in.

The elderly insane, like Elvis Attwood, parents, etc., say that young people only care about lipstick and snogging. I say hahahaha. If they would take the trouble to read works of geniosity like mine, they would soon realise that we do many useful and creative things. Who invented the terms “piddly-diddly department” and “pooparlour division” that are used in schools all over the world? Before I bothered to invent “nunga-nungas”, what fools we felt calling our breasty substances, er… breasts.

Do you see?

I think you do.

Goodbye and God bless you all.

And also S’laters.

Georgia

p.s. And I invented nervy b. and f.t. and so on.

p.p.s. And the Viking disco inferno dance.

p.p.p.s. I could go on but I feel slightly tired with

creativitosity and I may… zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.