Читать книгу ‘Luuurve is a many trousered thing…’ - Louise Rennison - Страница 43

It’s quite nice and cosy tucked up in bed with Jas and snacksies. Except that I think I have an owl’s beak up my bum-oley.

Jas was munching and rambling. “Well, first of all, after you had run off like a ninny – by the way, you run in a really weird way in those high heels. You looked like Nauseating P. Green when she’s playing hockey. Her legs go all spazzy and—”

I hit her with Snowy Owl. She almost choked on her toast.

I said, “Jas, get on with it, I have only got about fifty more years to live.”

“Well, first of all, the boys did that boy thing with Robbie.”

“What boy thing?”

“You know, slapping each other on the shoulders, shaking hands, and so on.”

“Yeah.”

Jas went on, “Robbie was saying hello to a lot of people and Masimo got his jacket on. You were just approaching the park by then; we could still see you. Masimo said to Tom, ‘She asked me about footie results. Then she ran away. Is she normal?’”

Ohmygiddygod. I said to Jas, “What did Tom say?”

“Well, he stood up for you, of course.”

“I love Hunky very much, as you know, Jazzy Spazzy.”

“Yes, he said you were quite often normal. He had seen you being normal once or twice himself. Usually when you were asleep.”

Marvellous.

Apparently after I had run off to “catch my train”, Masimo had gone home with the band, and just after he’d gone Wet Lindsay had come stropping back looking for him. Jas said her no-forehead was all crinkly and mad and her hair extensions were swishing around in a Nervy B. Central way. Then she had seen Robbie and was all over him like a rash and they had gone off together.

What, what???

I said, “Wet Lindsay went off with the Sex God?”

“Well, they did go out together once, didn’t they?”

“Yes, Jas, I know, I was heartbroken. Do you remember?”

“I mean, maybe he still likes her. I don’t know, maybe he has had a secret thing for her. Some people like lanky girls.”

“Jas, shut up now.”

“Well, I am just saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and so on. It’s an ill wind that—”

“Jas, that is not shutting up, that is rambling on and on about rubbish.”

She was chomping away on her Jammy Dodger like Wise Mabel of the Forest. I really, really wanted to shove it down her throat, but I knew it would take another million years to get the end of the story if I did, so I just said, “Jas, you know when you were going on and on about ‘maybe something good will happen’, and I didn’t want to go to the gig in the first place but you persuaded me? Well, did you know that Robbie was going to be there?”

“Well, I sort of thought he might. I knew he was coming home because he rang Tom and said that he had booked his ticket. And that he would be back in time for the gig.”

“But did he say why he was coming home?”

“Erm, no, not exactly, no.”

Oh noooooo. I have left the cake shop of luuurve thinking I have accidentally bought two cakes and found out that I may have only got one cake. And I might have already eaten that. I may in fact be cakeless.

I said to Jas, “We must call an emergency Ace Gang meeting.”

“Well, I thought I might go to the river with Tom and—”

“No, Jas, you thought wrong.”