| PROLOGVSTable of Contents | PROLOGUETable of Contents |
| LAR FAMILIARIS | SPOKEN BY EUCLIO'S HOUSEHOLD GOD |
| Ne quis miretur qui sim, paucis eloquar ego Lar sum familiaris ex hac familia unde exeuntem me aspexistis. hanc domum iam multos annos est cum possideo et colo patri avoque iam huius qui nunc hic habet sed mi avos huius obsecrans concredidit thensaurum auri clam omnis. in medio foco defodit, venerans me ut id servarem sibi. | That no one may wonder who I am, I shall inform you briefly. I am the Household God of that family from whose house you saw me come. For many years now I have possessed this dwelling, and preserved it for the sire and grandsire of its present occupant. Now this man's grandsire as a suppliant entrusted to me, in utter secrecy, a hoard of gold: he buried it in the centre of the hearth, entreating me to guard it for him. |
| is quoniam moritur—ita avido ingenio fuit— numquam indicare id filio voluit suo, inopemque optavit potius eum relinquere, quam eum thensaurum commonstraret filio; agri reliquit ei non magnum modum, quo cum labore magno et misere viveret. | When he died he could not bear—so covetous was he—to reveal its existence to his own son, and he chose to leave him penniless rather than apprise him of this treasure. Some land, a little only, he did leave him, whereon to toil and moil for a miserable livelihood. |
| Ubi is obiit mortem qui mihi id aurum credidit, coepi observare, ecqui maiorem filus mihi honorem haberet quam eius habuisset pater. atque ille vero minus minusque impendio curare minusque me impertire honoribus. item a me contra factum est, nam item obiit diem. is ex se hunc reliquit qui hic nunc habitat filium pariter moratum ut pater avosque huius fuit. | After the death of him who had committed the gold to my keeping, I began to observe whether the son would hold me in greater honour than his father had. As a matter of fact, his neglect grew and grew apace, and he showed me less honour. I did the same by him: so he also died. He left a son who occupies this house at present, a man of the same mould as his sire and grandsire. |
| huic filia una est. ea mihi cottidie aut ture aut vino aut aliqui semper supplicat, dat mihi coronas. eius honoris gratia feci, thensaurum ut hic reperiret Euclio, quo illam facilius nuptum, si vellet, daret nam eam compressit de summo adulescens loco. is scit adulescens quae sit quam compresserit, illa illum nescit, neque compressam autem pater. | He has one daughter. She prays to me constantly, with daily gifts of incense, or wine, or something; she gives me garlands. Out of regard for her I caused Euclio to discover the treasure here in order that he might the more easily find her a husband, if he wished. For she has been ravished by a young gentleman of very high rank. He knows who it is that he has wronged; who he is she does not know, and as for her father, he is ignorant of the whole affair. |
| Eam ego hodie faciam ut his senex de proxumo sibi uxorem poscat. id ea faciam gratia, quo ille eam facilius ducat qui compresserat. et hic qui poscet eam sibi uxorem senex, is adulescentis illius est avonculus, qui illam stupravit noctu, Cereris vigiliis. | I shall make the old gentleman who lives next door here (pointing) ask for her hand to-day. My reason for so doing is that the man who wronged her may marry her the more easily. And the old gentleman who is to ask for her hand is the uncle of the young gentleman who violated her by night at the festival of Ceres. |
| sed hic senex iam clamat intus ut solet. anum foras extrudit, ne sit conscia. credo aurum inspicere volt, ne subreptum siet. | (an uproar in Euclio's house) But there is old Euclio clamouring within as usual, and turning his ancient servant out of doors lest she learn his secret. I suppose he wishes to look at his gold and see that it is not stolen. [exit. |
| ACTVS ITable of Contents | ACT ITable of Contents |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Exi, inquam. age exi. exeundum hercle tibi hinc est foras, circumspectatrix cum oculis emissicus. | (within) Out with you, I say! Come now, out with you! By the Lord, you've got to get out of here, you snook- around, you, with your prying and spying. enter Staphyla from Euclio's house, followed by Euclio who is pushing and beating her. |
| Staph. | Staph. |
| Nam cur me miseram verberas? | (groaning) Oh, what makes you go a-hitting a poor wretch like me, sir? |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Ut misera sis atque ut te dignam mala malam aetatem exigas. | (savagely) To make sure you are a poor wretch, so as to give a bad lot the bad time she deserves. |
| Staph. | Staph. |
| Nam qua me nunc causa extrusisti ex aedibus? | Why, what did you push me out of the house for now? |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Tibi ego rationem reddam, stimulorum seges? illuc regredere ab ostio. illuc sis vide, ut incedit. at scin quo modo tibi res se habet? si hercle hodie fustem cepero aut stimulum in manum, testudineum istum tibi ego grandibo gradum. | I give my reasons to you, you,—you patch of beats, you? Over there with you, (pointing) away from the door! (Staphyla hobbles to place indicated) Just look at her, will you,—how she creeps along! See here, do you know what'11 happen to you? Now by heaven, only let me lay my hand on a club or a stick and I'll accelerate that tortoise crawl for you! |
| Staph. | Staph. |
| Utinam me divi adaxint ad suspendium potius quidem quam hoc pacto apud te servium. | (aside) Oh, I wish Heaven would make me hang myself, I do! Better that than slaving it for you at this rate, I'm sure. |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| At ut scelesta sola secum murmurat oculos hercle ego istos, improba, ecfodiam tibi, ne me observare possis quid rerum geram abscede etiam nunc—etiam nunc—etiam—ohe. | (aside) Hear the old criminal mumbling away to herself, though! (aloud) Ah! those eyes of yours, you old sinner! By heaven, I'll dig 'em out for you. I will, so that you can't keep watching me whatever I do. Get farther off still! still farther! still—Whoa! |
| istic astato. si hercle tu ex istoc loco digitum transvorsum aut unguem latum excesseris aut si respexis, donicum ego te iussero, continuo hercle ego te dedam discipulam cruci. | Stand there! You budge a finger's breadth a nail's breadth from that spot; you so much as turn your head till I say the word, and by the Almighty, the next minute I'll send you to the gallows for a lesson, so I will. |
| scelestiorem me hac anu certo scio vidisse numquam, nimisque ego hanc metuo male, ne mi ex insidiis verba imprudent duit neu persentiscat aurum ubi est absconditum, quae in occipitio quoque habet oculos pessima. nunc ibo ut visam sitne ita aurum ut condidi, quod me sollicitat plurimis miserum modis. | (aside) A worse reprobate than this old crone I never did see, no, never. Oh, but how horribly scared I am she'll come some sly dodge on me when I'm not expecting it, and smell out the place where the gold is hidden. She has eyes in the very back of her head, the hell-cat. Now I'll just go see if the gold is where I hid it. Dear, dear, it worries the life out of me! [exit Euclio into house. |
| Staph. | Staph. |
| Noenum mecastor quid ego ero dicam meo malae rei evenisse quamve insaniam, queo comminisci; ita me miseram ad hunc modum decies die uno saepe extrudit aedibus. nescio pol quae illunc hominem intemperiae tenent; pervigilat noctes totas, tum autem interdius quasi claudus sutor domi sedet totos dies. | Mercy me! What's come over master, what crazy streak he's got, I can't imagine,—driving a poor woman out of the house this way ten times a day, often. Goodness gracious, what whim-whams the man's got into his head I don't see. Never shuts his eyes all night: yes, and then in the daytime he's sitting around the house the whole livelong day, for all the world like a lame cobbler. |
| neque iam quo pacto celem erilis filiae probrum, propinqua partitudo cui appetit, queo comminisci; neque quicquam meliust mihi, ut opinor, quam ex me ut unam faciam litteram longam, meum laqueo collum quando obstrinxero. | How I'm going to hide the young mistress's disgrace now is beyond me, and she with her time so near. There's nothing better for me to do, as I see, than tie a rope round my neck and dangle myself out into one long capital I. |
| I. 2.Table of Contents | Scene 2.Table of Contents |
| | re-enter Euclio from house. |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Nunc defaecato demum animo egredior domo, postquam perspexi salva esse intus omnia. redi nunciam intro atque intus serva. | (aside) At last I can feel easy about leaving the house, now I have made certain everything is all right inside. (to Staphyla) Go back in there this instant, you, and keep watch inside. |
| Staph. | Staph. |
| Quippini? ego intus servem? an ne quis aedes auferat? nam hic apud nos nihil est aliud quaesti furibus, ita inaniis sunt oppletae atque araneis. | (tartly) I suppose so! So I'm to keep watch inside, am I? You aren't afraid anyone'll walk away with the house, are you? I vow we've got nothing else there for thieves to take—all full of emptiness as it is, and cobwebs. |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Mirum quin tua me causa faciat Iuppiter Philippum regem aut Dareum, trivenefica araneas mihi ego illas servari volo. pauper sum, fateor, patior, quod di dant fero. | It is surprising Providence wouldn't make a King Philip or Darius of me for your benefit, you viper, you! (threateningly) I want those cobwebs watched! I'm poor, poor; I admit it, I put up with it; I take what the gods give me. |
| abi intro, occlude ianuam. iam ego hic ero cave quemquam alienum in aedis intro miseris quod quispiam ignem quaerat, extingui volo, ne causae quid sit quod te quisquam quaeritet nam si ignis vivet, ut extinguere extempulo. | In with you, bolt the door. I shall be back soon. No outsider is to be let in, mind you. And in case anyone should be looking for a light, see you put the fire out so that no one will have any reason to come to you for it. Mark my words, if that fire stays alive, I'll extinguish you instantly. |
| tum aquam aufugisse dicito, si quis petet. cultrum, securim, pistillum, mortarium, quae utenda vasa semper vicini rogant, fures venisse atque abstulisse dicito profecto in aedis meas me absente neminem volo intro mitti. atque etiam hoc praedico tibi si Bona Fortuna veniat, ne intro miseris | And then water—if anyone asks for water, tell him it's all run out. As for a knife, or an axe, or a pestle, or a mortar,—things the neighbours are all the time wanting to borrow—tell 'em burglars got in and stole the whole lot. I won't have a living soul let into my house while I'm gone—there! Yes, and what's more, listen here, if Dame Fortune herself comes along, don't you let her in. |
| Staph. | Staph. |
| Pol ea ipsa credo ne intro mittatur cavet, nam ad aedis nostras numquam adit, quamquam prope est. | Goodness me, she won't get in: she'll see to that herself, I fancy. Why, she never comes to our house at all, no matter how near she is. |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Tace atque abi intro. | Keep still and go inside. (advances on her) |
| Staph. | Staph. |
| Taceo atque abeo. | (hurrying out of reach) I'm still, sir, I'm going! |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Occlude sis fores ambobus pessulis. iam ego hic ero. | Mind you lock the door, both bolts. I'll soon be back. [exit Staphyla into house. |
| discrucior animi, quia ab domo abeundum est mihi. nimis hercle invitus abeo. sed quid agam scio. nam noster nostrae qui est magister curiae dividere argenti dixit nummos in viros, id si relinquo ac non peto, omnes ilico me suspicentur, credo habere aurum domi nam non est veri simile, hominem pauperem pauxillum parvi facere quin nummum petat. | It's agony having to leave the house, downright agony. Oh my God, how I do hate to go! But I have my reasons. The director of our ward gave notice he was going to make us a present of two shillings a man; and the minute I let it pass without putting in my claim, they'd all be suspecting I had gold at home, I'm sure they would. No, it doesn't look natural for a poor man to think so little of even a tiny bit of money as not to go ask for his two shillings. |
| nam nunc cum celo sedulo omnis, ne sciant, omnes videntur scire et me benignius omnes salutant quam salutabant prius; adeunt, consistunt, copulantur dexteras, rogitant me ut valeam, quid agam, quid rerum geram. nunc quo profectus sum ibo; postidea domum me rursum quantum potero tantum recipiam. | Why, even now, hard as I try to keep every one from finding out, it seems as if every one knew: it seems as if every one has a heartier way of saying good day than they used to. Up they come, and stop, and shake hands, and keep asking me how I'm feeling, and how I'm getting on, and what I'm doing. Well, I must get along to where I'm bound; and then I'll come back home just as fast as I possibly can. [exit Euclio. |
| ACTVS IITable of Contents | ACT IITable of Contents |
| | enter Eunomia and Megadorus from latter's house. |
| Eun. | Eun. |
| Velim te arbitrari med haec verba, frater, meai fidei tuaique rei causa facere, ut aequom est germanam sororem. quamquam haud falsa sum nos odiosas haberi; nam multum loquaces merito omnes habemur, nec mutam profecto repertam ullam esse aut hodie dicunt mulierem aut ullo in saeclo. | Brother, I do hope you'll believe I say this out of my loyalty to you and for your welfare, as a true sister should. Of course I'm well enough aware you men think us women are a bother; yes, awful chatterboxes—that's the name we all have, and (ruefully) it fits. And then that common saying, "Never now, nor through the ages, never any woman dumb." |
| verum hoc, frater, unum tamen cogitato, tibi proximam me mihique esse item te; ita aequom est quod in rem esse utrique arbitremur et mihi te et tibi me consulere et monere; neque occultum id haberi neque per metum mussari, quin participem pariter ego te et tu me ut facias, eo nunc ego secreto ted huc foras seduxi, ut tuam rem ego tecum hic loquerer familiarem. | But just the same, do remember this one thing, brother,—that I am closer to you and you to me than anyone else in the whole world. So both of us ought to advise and counsel each other as to what we feel is to either's advantage, not keep such things back or be afraid to speak out openly, we ought to confide in one another fully, you and I. This is why I've taken you aside out here now—so that we can have a quiet talk on a matter that concerns you intimately. |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Da mi, optuma femina, manum. | (warmly) Let's have your hand, you best of women! |
| Eun. | Eun. |
| Ubi ea est? quis ea est nam optuma? | (pretending to look about) Where is she? Who on earth is that best of women? |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Tu. | Yourself. |
| Eun. | Eun. |
| Tune ais? | You say that—you? |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Si negas, nego. | (banteringly) Oh well, if you deny it— |
| Eun. | Eun. |
| Decet te equidem vera proloqui; nam optuma nulla potest eligi: alia alia peior, frater, est. | Really now, you ought to be truthful. There's no such thing, you know, as picking out the best woman; it's only a question of comparative badness, brother. |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Idem ego arbitror, nec tibi advorsari certum est de istac re umquam, soror. | My own opinion precisely. I'll never differ with you there, sister, you may count on that. |
| Eun. | Eun. |
| Da mihi operam amabo. | Now do give me your attention, there's a dear. |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Tuast, utere atque impera, si quid vis. | It is all your own; use me, command me—anything you wish. |
| Eun. | Eun. |
| Id quod in rem tuam optumum esse arbitror, ted id monitum advento. | I'm going to advise you to do something that I think will be the very best thing in the world for you. |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Soror, more tuo facis. | Quite like you, sister. |
| Eun. | Eun. |
| Factum volo. | I certainly hope so. |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Quid est id, soror? | And what is this something, my dear? |
| Eun. | Eun. |
| Quod tibi sempiternum salutare sit: liberis procreandis— ita di faxint—volo te uxorem domum ducere. | Something that will make for your everlasting welfare. You should have children. God grant you may!—and I want you to marry. |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Ei occidi. | Oh-h-h, murder! |
| Eun. | Eun. |
| Quid ita? | How so? |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Quia mihi misero cerebrum excutiunt tua dicta, soror: lapides loqueris. | Well, you're knocking my poor brains out with such a proposition, my dear girl: you're talking cobble-stones. |
| Eun. | Eun. |
| Heia, hoc face quod te iubet soror. | Now, now, do what your sister tells you. |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Si lubeat, faciam. | I would, if it appealed to me. |
| Eun. | Eun. |
| In rem hoc tuam est. | It would be a good thing for you. |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Ut quidem emoriar prius quam ducam. sed his legibus si quam dare vis ducam: quae cras veniat, perendie foras feratur; his legibus dare vis? cedo: nuptias adorna. | Yes—to die before marrying. (pause) All right. I'll marry anyone you please, on this condition, though: her wedding to-morrow, and her wake the day after. Still wish it, on this condition? Produce her! Arrange for the festivities! |
| Eun. | Eun. |
| Cum maxima possum tibi, frater, dare dote; sed est grandior natu: media est mulieris aetas. eam si iubes, frater, tibi me poscere, poscam. | I can get you one with ever so big a dowry, dear. To be sure, she's not a young girl—middle-aged, as a matter of fact. I'll see about it for you, brother, if you want. |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Num non vis me interrogare te? | You don't mind my asking you a question, I dare say? |
| Eun. | Eun. |
| Immo, si quid vis, roga. | Why, of course not; anything you like. |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Post mediam aetatem qui media ducit uxorem domum, si eam senex anum praegnatem fortuito fecerit, quid dubitas, quin sit paratum nomen puero Postumus? | Now supposing a man pretty well on in life marries a lady of maturity and this aged female should happen to show intentions of making the old fellow a father—can you doubt but that the name in store for that youngster is Postumus?A |
| nunc ego istum, soror, laborem demam et deminuam tibi. ego virtute deum et maiorum nostrum dives sum satis. istas magnas factiones, animos, dotes dapsiles, clamores, imperia, eburata vehicla, pallas, purpuram, nil moror quae in servitutem sumptibus redigunt viros. | See here, sister, I'll relieve you of all this and save you trouble. I'm rich enough, thanks be to heaven and our forbears. And I have no fancy at all for those ladies of high station and hauteur and fat dowries, with their shouting and their ordering and their ivory trimmed carriages and their purple and fine linen that cost a husband his liberty. |
| Eun. | Eun. |
| Dic mihi, quaeso, quis ea est quam vis ducere uxorem? | For mercy's sake tell me who you do want to marry, then! |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Eloquar. nostin hunc senem Euclionem ex proximo pauperculum? | I'm going to. You know the old gentleman—rather hard up, poor fellow,—that lives next door, Euclio? |
| Eun. | Eun. |
| Novi, hominem haud malum mecastor. | Yes indeed. Why, he seems quite nice. |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Eius cupio filiam virginem mihi desponderi. verba ne facias, soror. scio quid dictura es: hanc esse pauperem. haec pauper placet. | It's his daughter—there's the engagement I'm eager for. Now don't make a fuss, sister. I know what you're about to say—that she's poor. But this particular poor girl suits me. |
| Eun. | Eun. |
| Di bene vortant. | God's blessing on your choice, dear! |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Idem ego spero. | I trust so. |
| Eun. | Eun. |
| Quid me? num quid vis? | (about to leave) Well, there's nothing I can do? |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Vale. | Yes—take good care of yourself. |
| Eun. | Eun. |
| Et tu, frater. | You too, brother. [exit Eunomia. |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Ego conveniam Euclionem, si domi est. sed eccum video. nescio unde sese homo recipit domum. | Now for an interview with Euclio, if he's at home. (looking down street) Hullo, though! here he is! Just getting back from somewhere or other. |
| II. 2.Table of Contents | Scene 2.Table of Contents |
| | enter Euclio. |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Praesagibat mi animus frustra me ire, quom exibam domo; itaque abibam invitus; nam neque quisquam curialium venit neque magister quem dividere argentum oportuit. nunc domum properare propero, nam egomet sum hic, animus domi est. | (without seeing Megadorus) I knew it! Something told me I was going on a fool's errand when I left the house; that's why I hated to go. Why, there wasn't a single man of our ward there, or the director either, who ought to have distributed the money. Now I'll hurry up and hurry home: I'm here in the body, but that's where my mind is. |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Salvos atque fortunatus, Euclio, semper sies. | (advancing with outstretched hand) Good day to you, Euclio, yes, and the best of everything to you always! |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Di te ament, Megadore. | (taking hand gingerly) God bless you, Megadorus. |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Quid tu? recten atque ut vis vales? | How goes it? All right, are you? Feeling as well as you could wish? |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Non temerarium est, ubi dives blande appellat pauperem. iam illic homo aurum scit me habere, eo me salutat blandius. | (aside) There's something behind it when a rich man puts on that smooth air with a poor one. Now that fellow knows I've got gold: that's why he's so uncommon smooth with his salutations. |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Ain tu te valere? | You say you are well? |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Pol ego haud perbene a pecunia. | Heavens, no: I feel low, very low—in funds. |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Pol si est animus aequos tibi. sat habes qui bene vitam colas. | (cheerily) Well, well, man, if you have a contented mind, you've got enough to enjoy life with. |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Anus hercle huic indicium fecit de auro, perspicue palam est. cui ego iam linguam praecidam atque oculos effodiam domi. | (aside, frightened) Oh, good Lord! The old woman has let on to him about the gold! It's discovered, clear as can be! I'll cut her tongue out, I'll tear her eyes out, the minute I get at her in the house! |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Quid tu solus tecum loquere? | What is that you're saying to yourself? |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Meam pauperiem conqueror. virginem habeo grandem, dote cassam atque inlocabilem, neque eam queo locare cuiquam. | (startled) Just ... how awful it is to be poor. And I with a grown-up girl, without a penny of dowry, that I can't get off my hands or find a husband for. |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Tace, bonum habe animum, Euclio. dabitur, adiuvabere a me. dic, si quid opust, impera. | (clapping him on the back) There, there, Euclio! Cheer up. She shall be married: I'll help you out. Come now, call on me, if you need anything. |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Nunc petit, cum pollicetur; inhiat aurum ut devoret. altera manu fert lapidem, panem ostentat altera. nemini credo qui large blandust dives pauperi ubi manum inicit benigne, ibi onerat aliqua zamia ego istos novi polypos, qui ubi quidquid tetigerunt tenent. | (aside) When he agrees to give he wants to grab! Mouth wide open to gobble down my gold! Holds up a bit of bread in one hand and has a stone in the other! I don't trust one of these rich fellows when he's so monstrous civil to a poor man. They give you a cordial handshake, and squeeze something out of you at the same time. I know all about those octopuses that touch a thing and then—stick. |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Da mi operam parumper. paucis, Euclio, est quod te volo de communi re appellare mea et tua. | I should be glad to have a moment of your time, Euclio. I want to have a brief talk with you on a matter that concerns us both. |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Ei misero mihi, aurum mi intus harpagatum est. nunc hic eam rem volt scio, mecum adire ad pactionem. verum intervisam domum. | (aside) Oh, God save us! My gold's been hooked, and now he wants to make a deal with me! I see it all! But I'll go in and look. (hurries toward house) |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Quo abis? | Where are you off to? |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Iam ad te revortar. nunc est quod visam domum. | Just a moment!... I'll be back ... the fact is ... I must see to something at home. [exit into house. |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Credo edepol, ubi mentionem ego fecero de filia mi ut despondeat, sese a me derideri rebitur, neque illo quisquam est alter hodie ex paupertate parcior. | By Jove! I suppose he'll think I'm making fun of him when I speak about his giving me his daughter; poverty never made a fellow closer-fisted. re-enter Euclio. |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Di me servant, salva res est. salvom est si quid non perit nimis male timui. prius quam intro redii, exanimatus fui. redeo ad te, Megadore, si quid me vis. | (aside) Thank the Lord, I'm saved! It's safe—that is, if it's all there. Ah, but that was a dreadful moment! I nearly expired before I got in the house. (to Megadorus) Here I am, Megadorus, if you want anything of me. |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Habeo gratiam. quaeso, quod te percontabor, ne id te pigeat pro loqui. | Thanks. Now I trust you won't mind answering the questions I'm going to ask. |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Dum quidem ne quid perconteris quod non lubeat proloqui. | (cautiously) No-no—that is, if you don't ask any I don't like to answer. |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Dic mihi. quali me arbitrare genere prognatum? | Frankly now, what do you think of my family connections? |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Bono. | (grudgingly) Good. |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Quid fide? | And my sense of honour? |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Bona. | Good. |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Quid factis? | And my general conduct? |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Neque malis neque improbis. | Not bad, not disreputable. |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Aetatem meam scis? | You know my age? |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Scio esse grandem, item ut pecuniam. | Getting on, getting on, I know that—(aside) financially, too. |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Certe edepol equidem te civem sine mala omni malitia semper sum arbitratus et nunc arbitror. | Now Euclio, I've always considered you a citizen of the true, trusty type, by Jove, I certainly have, and I do still. |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Aurum huic olet. quid nunc me vis? | (aside) He's got a whiff of my gold. (aloud) Well, what do you want? |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Quoniam tu me et ego te qualis sis scio. quae res recte vortat mihique tibique tuaeque filiae, filiam tuam mi uxorem posco. promitte hoc fore. | Now that we appreciate each other, I'm going to ask you—and may it turn out happily for you and your girl and me—to give me your daughter in marriage. Promise you will. |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Heia, Megadore, haud decorum facinus tuis factis facis, ut inopem atque innoxium abs te atque abs tuis me inrideas. nam de te neque re neque verbis merui ut faceres quod facis. | (whining) Now, now, Megadorus! This is unlike you, unworthy of you, making fun of a poor man like me that never harmed you or yours. Why, I never said or did a thing to you to deserve being treated so. |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Neque edepol ego te derisum venio neque derideo, neque dignum arbitror. | Good Lord, man! I didn't come here to make fun of you, and I'm not making fun of you: I couldn't think of such a thing. |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Cur igitur poscis meam gnatam tibi? | Then why are you asking for my daughter? |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Ut propter me tibi sit melius mihique propter te et tuos. | Why? So that we may all of us make life pleasanter for one another. |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Venit hoc mihi, Megadore, in mentem, ted esse hominem divitem, factiosum, me autem esse hominem pauperum pauperrimum; nunc si filiam locassim meam tibi, in mentem venit te bovem esse et me esse asellum: ubi tecum coniunctus siem, ubi onus nequeam ferre pariter, iaceam ego asinus in luto, tu me bos magis haud respicias, gnatus quasi numquam siem. | Now here's the way it strikes me, Megadorus,—you're a rich man, a man of position: but as for me, I'm poor, awfully poor, dreadfully poor. Now if I was to marry off my daughter to you, it strikes me you'd be the ox and I'd be the donkey. When I was hitched up with you and couldn't pull my share of the load, down I'd drop, I, the donkey, in the mud; and you, the ox, wouldn't pay any more attention to me than if I'd never been born at all. |
| et te utar iniquiore et meus me ordo inrideat, neutrubi habeam stabile stabulum, si quid divorti fuat: asini me mordicibus scindant, boves incursent cornibus. hoc magnum est periclum, ab asinis ad boves transcendere. | You would be too much for me: and my own kind would haw-haw at me: and if there should be a falling out, neither party would let me have stable quarters: the donkeys would chew me up and the oxen would run me through. It is a very hazardous business for donkeys to climb into the ox set. |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Quam ad probos propinquitate proxime te adiunxeris. tam optumum est. tu condicionem hanc accipe, ausculta mihi, atque eam desponde mi. | But honourable human beings—the more closely connected you are with them, the better. Come, come, accept my offer: listen to what I say and promise her to me. |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| At nihil est dotis quod dem. | But not one penny of dowry can I give. |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Ne duas. dum modo morata recte veniat, dotata est satis. | Don't. Only let me have a girl that's good, and she has dowry enough. |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Eo dico, ne me thensauros repperisse censeas. | (forcing a laugh) I mention this just so that you mayn't think I've found some treasure. |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Novi, ne doceas. desponde. | Yes, yes, I understand. Promise. |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Fiat. sed pro Iuppiter, num ego disperii? | So be it. (aside, starting at noise) Oh, my God! Can it be I'm ruined, ruined? |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Quid tibi est? | What's the matter? |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Quid crepuit quasi ferrum modo? | That noise? What was it—a sort of clinking sound? [exit into house hurriedly. |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Hic apud me hortum confodere iussi. sed ubi hic est homo? abiit neque me certiorem fecit. fastidit mei, quia videt me suam amicitiam velle. more hominum facit; nam si opulentus it petitum pauperioris gratiam, pauper metuit congrediri, per metum male rem gerit. idem, quando occasio illaec periit, post sero cupit. | (not noticing his departure) I told them to do some digging in my garden here. (looking around) But where is the man? Gone away and left me—without a word! Scorns me, now he sees I desire his friendship! Quite the usual thing, that. Yes, let a wealthy man try to get the regard of a poorer one, and the poor one is afraid to meet him half-way: his timidity makes him injure his own interests. Then when it's too late and the opportunity is gone he longs to have it again. re-enter Euclio. |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Si hercle ego te non elinguandam dedero usque ab radicibus, impero auctorque ego sum, ut tu me cuivis castrandum loces. | (to Staphyla within) By heaven, if I don't have your tongue torn out by the very roots, I give you orders, give you full authority, to hand me over to anyone you please to be skinned alive. (approaches Megadorus) |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Video hercle ego te me arbitrari, Euclio, hominem idoneum, quem senecta aetate ludos facias, haud merito meo. | Upon my word, Euclio! So you think I am the proper sort of man to make a fool of, at my time of life, and without the slightest reason. |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Neque edepol, Megadore, facio, neque. si cupiam, copia est. | Bless my soul! I'm not making a fool of you, Megadorus: I couldn't if I would. |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Quid nunc? etiam mihi despondes filiam? | (doubtfully) Well now, do you mean I am to have your daughter? |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Illis legibus, cum illa dote quam tibi dixi. | On the understanding she goes with the dowry I mentioned. |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Sponden ergo? | You consent, then? |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Spondeo. | I consent. |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Di bene vertant. | And may God prosper us! |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Ita di faxint. illud facito ut memineris convenisse ut ne quid dotis mea ad te afferret filia. | Yes, yes,—and mind you remember our agreement about the dowry: she doesn't bring you a single penny. |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Memini. | I remember. |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| At scio quo vos soleatis pacto perplexarier. pactum non pactum est, non pactum pactum est, quod vobis lubet. | But I know the way you folks have of juggling things: now it's on and now it's off, now it's off and now it's on, just as you like. |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Nulla controversia mihi tecum erit. sed nuptias num quae causa est quin faciamus hodie? | You shall have no occasion to quarrel with me. But about the marriage—there's no reason for not having it to-day, is there? |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Immo edepol optuma. | Dear, dear, no! The very thing, the very thing! |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Ibo igitur, parabo. numquid me vis? | I'll go and make arrangements, then, (turning to leave) Anything else I can do? |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Istuc. ei et vale. | Only that. Go along. Good-bye. |
| Mega. | Mega. |
| Heus, Pythodice, sequere propere me ad macellum strenue. | (calling at the door of his house) Hey, Pythodicus! quick! [enter Pythodicus] Down to the market with me—come, look alive! [exeunt. |
| Eucl. | Eucl. |
| Illic hinc abiit. di immortales, obsecro, aurum quid valet.1 id inhiat, ea affinitatem hanc obstinavit gratia. Ubi tu es, quae deblateravisti iam vicinis omnibus, meae me filiae daturum dotem? heus, Staphyla, te voco. ecquid audis? | (looking after them) He's gone! Ah, ye immortal gods, doesn't money count! That is what he's gaping after. That is why he's so set on being my son-in-law. (goes to the door and calls) Where are you, you blabber, telling the whole neighbourhood I'm going to give my daughter a dowry! Hi-i! Staphyla! It's you I'm calling. Can't you hear! |
| II. 4.Table of Contents | Scene 4.Table of Contents |
| | (An hour has elapsed.) enter Pythodicus bringing cooks, Anthrax and Congrio, music girls, Phrygia and Eleusium and attendants, with provisions from the market and two lambs. |
| Pyth. | Pyth. |
| Postquam obsonavit erus et conduxit coquos tibicinasque hasce apud forum, edixit mihi ut dispertirem obsonium hic bifariam. | (importantly) After master did the marketing and hired the cooks and these music girls at the forum, he told me to take and divide all he'd got into two parts. |
| Anthr. | Anthr. |
| Me quidem hercle, dicam tibi palam, non divides. si quo tu totum me ire vis, operam dabo. | By Jupiter, you shan't make two parts of me, let me tell you that plainly! If you'd like to have the whole of me anywhere, why, I'll accommodate you. |
| Cong. | Cong. |
| Bellum et pudicum vero prostibulum popli. post si quis vellet, te hand non velles dividi. | (to Anthrax) You pretty boy, yes, you nice little everybody's darling, you! Why, if anyone wanted to make two parts of a real man out of you, you oughtn't to be cut up about it. |
| Pyth. | Pyth. |
| Atque ego istuc, Anthrax, alio vorsum dixeram, non istuc quo tu insimulas. sed erus nuptias meus hodie faciet. | Now, now, Anthrax, I mean that otherwise from what you make out. Look here, my master's marrying to-day. |
| Anthr. | Anthr. |
| Cuius ducit filiam? | Who's the lady? |
| Pyth. | Pyth. |
| Vicini huius Euclionis senis e proximo. ei adeo obsoni hinc iussit dimidium dari, cocum alterum itidemque alteram tibicinam. | Daughter of old Euclio that lives next door here. Yes sir, and what's more, he's to have half this stuff here, and one cook and one music girl, too, so master said. |
| Anthr. | Anthr. |
| Nempe huc dimidium dicis, dimidium domum? | You mean to say half goes to him and half to you folks? |
| Pyth. | Pyth. |
| Nempe sicut dicis. | Just what I do mean. |
| Anthr. | Anthr. |
| Quid? hic non poterat de suo senex obsonari filiai nuptiis? | I say, couldn't the old boy pay for the catering for his daughter's wedding his own self? |
| Pyth. | Pyth. |
| Vah. | (scornfully) Pooh! |
| Anthr. | Anthr. |
| Quid negotist? | What's the matter? |
| Pyth. | Pyth. |
| Quid negoti sit rogas? pumex non aeque est aridus atque hic est senex. | The matter, eh? You couldn't squeeze as much out of that old chap as you could out of a pumice stone. |
| Anthr. | Anthr. |
| Ain tandem? | (incredulously) Oh, really now! |
| Pyth. | Pyth. |
| Ita esse ut dixi. tute existuma: quin divom atque hominum clamat continue fidem,2 suam rem periisse seque eradicarier, de suo tigillo fumus si qua exit foras. quin cum it dormitum, follem obstringit ob gulam. | That's a fact. Judge for yourself. Why, I tell you he begins bawling for heaven and earth to witness that he's bankrupt, gone to everlasting smash, the moment a puff of smoke from his beggarly fire manages to get out of his house. Why, when he goes to bed he strings a bag over his jaws. |
| Anthr. | Anthr. |
| Cur? | What for? |
| Pyth. | Pyth. |
| Ne quid animae forte amittat dormiens. | So as not to chance losing any breath when he's asleep. |
| Anthr. | Anthr. |
| Etiamue obturat inferiorem gutturem, ne quid animai forte amittat dormiens? | Oh yes! And he puts a stopper on his lower windpipe, doesn't he, so as not to chance losing any breath while he's asleep? |
| Pyth. | Pyth. |
| Haec mihi te ut tibi med aequom est, credo, credere. | (ingenuously) You should believe me, I believe, just as I should believe you. |
| Anthr. | Anthr. |
| Immo equidem credo. | (hurriedly) Oh, no, no! I do believe, of course! |
| Pyth. | Pyth. |
| At scin etiam quomodo? aquam hercle plorat, cum lavat, profundere. | But listen to this, will you? Upon my word, after he takes a bath it just breaks him all up to throw away the water. |
| Anthr. | Anthr. |
| Censen talentum magnum exorari pote ab istoc sene ut det, qui fiamus liberi? | D'ye think the old buck could be induced to make us a present of a couple of hundred pounds to buy ourselves off with? |
| Pyth. | Pyth. |
| Famem hercle utendam si roges, numquam dabit. quin ipsi pridem tonsor unguis dempserat: collegit, omnia abstulit praesegmina. | Lord! He wouldn't make you a loan of his hunger, no sir, not if you begged him for it. Why, the other day when a barber cut his nails for him he collected all the clippings and took 'em home. |
| Anthr. | Anthr. |
| Edepol mortalem parce parcum praedicas. | My goodness, he's quite a tight one, from what you say. |
| Pyth. | Pyth. |
| Censen vero adeo esse parcum et miserum vivere? pulmentum pridem ei eripuit milvos: homo ad praetorem plorabundus devenit; infit ibi postulare plorans, eiulans, ut sibi liceret milvom vadarier. sescenta sunt quae memorem, si sit otium. sed uter vestrorum est celerior? memora mihi. | Honest now, would you believe a man could be so tight and live so wretched? Once a kite flew off with a bit of food of his: down goes the fellow to the magistrate's, blubbering all the way, and there he begins, howling and yowling, demanding to have the kite bound over for trial. Oh, I could tell hundreds of stories about him if I had time. (to both cooks) But which of you is the quicker? Tell me that. |
| Anthr. | Anthr. |
| Ego, et multo melior. | I am, and a whole lot better, too. |
| Pyth. | Pyth. |
| Cocum ego, non furem rogo. | At cooking I mean, not thieving. |
| Anthr. | Anthr. |
| Cocum ergo dico. | Well, I mean cooking. |
| Pyth. | Pyth. |
| Quid tu ais? | (to Congrio) And how about you? |
| Cong. | Cong. |
| Sic sum ut vides. | (with a meaning glance at Anthrax) I'm what I look. |
| Anthr. | Anthr. |
| Cocus ille nundinalest, in nonum diem solet ire coctum. | He's nothing but a market-day cook, that chap: he only gets a job once a week. |
| Cong. | Cong. |
| Tun, trium litterarum homo me vituperas? fur. | You running me down, you? You five letter man, you! You T-H-I-E-F! |
| Anthr. | Anthr. |
| Etiam fur, trifurcifer. | Five letter man youself! Yes, and five times—penned! |
| II. 5.Table of Contents | Scene 5.Table of Contents |
| Pyth. | Pyth. |
| Tace nunciam tu, atque agnum hinc uter est pinguior cape atque abi intro ad nos. | (to Anthrax) Come, come, shut up, you: and this fittest lamb here, (pointing) take it and go over to our house. |
| Anthr. | Anthr. |
| Licet. | (grinning triumphantly at Congrio) Aye, aye, sir. [exit Anthrax into house of Megadorus leading lamb. |
| Pyth. | Pyth. |
| Tu, Congrio, quem illic reliquit agnum, eum sume atque abi 3intro illuc, et vos illum sequimini. vos ceteri ite huc ad nos. | Congrio, you take this one he's left (pointing) and go into that house there, (pointing to Euclio's) and as for you, (indicating some of the attendants) you follow him. The rest of you come over to our house. |
| Cong. | Cong. |
| Hercle iniuria dispertivisti: pinguiorem agnum isti habent. | Hang it! That's no way to divide: they've got the fattest lamb. |
| Pyth. | Pyth. |
| At nunc tibi dabitur pinguior tibicina. i sane cum illo, Phrugia. tu autem, Eleusium, huc intro abi ad nos. | Oh well, I'll give you the fattest music girl. (turning to girls) That means you, Phrygia: you go with him. As for you, Eleusium, you step over to our place. [exeunt Eleusium and others into house of Megadorus. |
| Cong. | Cong. |
| O Pythodice subdole, hucine detrusti me ad senem parcissimum? ubi si quid poscam, usque ad ravim poscam prius quam quicquam detur. | Oh, you're a wily one, Pythodicus! Shoving me off on this old screw, eh? If I ask for anything there, I can ask myself hoarse before I get a thing. |
| Pyth. | Pyth. |
| Stultus et sine gratia es. 4tibi recte facere, quando quod facias perit. | An ungrateful blockhead is what you are. The idea of doing you a favour, when it's only thrown away! |
| Cong. | Cong. |
| Qui vero? | Eh? How so? |
| Pyth. | Pyth. |
| Rogitas? iam principio in aedibus turba istic nulla tibi erit: siquid uti voles, domo abs te adferto, ne operam perdas poscere. his autem apud nos magna turba ac familia est supellex, aurum, vestis, vasa argentea: | How so? Well, in the first place there won't be an uproarious gang in that house to get in your way: if you need anything, just you fetch it from home so as not to waste time asking for it. Here at our establishment, though, we do have a great big uproarious gang of servants, and knick-knackery and jewellery and clothes and silver plate lying about. |
| ibi si perierit quippiam—quod te scio facile abstinere posse, si nihil obviam est— dicant: coqui abstulerunt, comprehendite, vincite, verberate, in puteum condite. horum tibi istic nihil eveniet: quippe qui ubi quid subripias nihil est. sequere hac me. | Now if anything was missing,—of course it's easy for you to keep your hands off, provided there's nothing in reach,—they'd say: "The cooks got away with it! Collar 'em! Tie 'em up! Thrash 'em! Throw 'em in the dungeon!" Now over there (pointing to Euclio's) nothing like this will happen to you—as there's nothing at all about for you to filch. (going toward Euclio's house) Come along. |
| Cong. | Cong. |
| Sequor. | (sulkily) Coming. (he and the rest follow) |
