Читать книгу A Single Breath - Lucy Clarke - Страница 17

You asked me once why Saul and I fell out, so I told you.

But it was only half of the truth.

I was shaving at the time, and carefully smoothed foam over my jaw as I contemplated my answer. I needed to get it right.

‘It was my birthday,’ I began, feeling my heart start to pound. ‘I had a barbecue down on the bluff near where I was living. I didn’t organize many things like that, but I wanted to that year because there was … this girl. Someone I thought was special. I wanted to introduce her to my friends.’

I drew the razor over my cheek, pulling my lips to the side to keep the skin taut as I told you, ‘Saul turned up late – and drunk – but I was just pleased he’d come. I slung an arm over his shoulder and walked him to the barbecue, where my girlfriend stood. Before he’d even said a word, I knew he was gonna make a play for her. I could see just by the way he was looking at her.’

‘Did he?’ you asked carefully, watching my reflection in the mirror.

I laughed, a dark sound. ‘Couldn’t help himself. He always had to get the girl. I saw him with her later that night. Right in front of me – like he didn’t even care. Like he wanted me to see.’

‘I’m sorry.’

I shrugged, tried to brighten my voice. ‘Maybe it worked out for the best. Saul kept on seeing her, so I ended up getting out of Tas for a few months.’

‘That’s when you went to South America?’

‘Yeah. Travelled up through Chile and Peru, then across to Brazil. I surfed, hiked, got some work building trail paths, bought a motorbike in Brazil. It was a good time – a good thing for me to do.’

‘What about when you came back?’

‘She and Saul were livin’ together up north. I stayed down south. We didn’t see each other.’

‘They’re still together?’

‘No. Not now.’

‘And you can’t forgive him?’

I put the razor down and clenched the edge of the sink, lowered my head. ‘He’s a liar. I can’t trust him.’

You crossed the bathroom and placed the flat of your hand in the space between my shoulder blades and ran it in smooth strokes. It was like you were reaching inside me, soothing somewhere that I didn’t know still hurt.

I looked up and our gazes locked in the mirror. ‘Do you think people can change, Eva? Do you think it’s possible?’

I think the intensity of my voice startled you because you dropped your hand and said, ‘Yes. People can change.’

But here’s the thing that terrified me: What if they can’t?