Читать книгу For the Greek Tycoon's Pleasure - Люси Монро, Люси Монро, Lucy Gordon - Страница 12

“WHAT about you?” he asked, deciding he wanted confirmation of what his instincts told him to be true. “Do you seek sexual release elsewhere when we cannot connect?”

“No.” That was decisive enough.

“You made no promises, either,” he reminded her.

“No, I didn’t, but you’re something special. No other man could live up.”

“Nice to know.” Call him arrogant, but he had no trouble believing her.

Her hands moved down to his buttocks, digging with her knuckles into his rock-hard glutes.

“Damn.” He sighed. “That feels so good.”

“I’m enjoying it as much as you are.”

“I doubt that.” Though he liked hearing it.

“Touching you is always a pleasure.” The husky tenor was back in her voice.

Delicious. “Is this touching going to turn sexual?” he could not help hinting.

She scooted down his legs and her fingertips slid between them to caress the back of his balls. “Maybe.”

The minx.

He was already hard, but the pressure grew more urgent as her soft touches on his scrotum continued. “You’re on dangerous ground there, pethi mou.”

“Am I?” She was no longer sitting on him, but her knees were still on either side of his.

He took that as an invitation and flipped onto his back, his breath expelling in a hard gust at the sight of her naked body above him. “You are so damn beautiful.”

“You’re prejudiced.”

“You think so, glyka mou? I think you could have made millions as a model.”

She smiled and shook her head. “Did you just call me sweet?”

“My sweet. You’re learning Greek.”

“Just that one.”

Good. He wasn’t sure he wanted her to know he often called her his woman. It might sound like he meant something more than he did, but even if their sex wasn’t based in some foolish romantic commitment, he was a possessive guy. It was just the way he was made and sometimes, the words yineka mou slipped out. She was his, for now. Maybe he should be more circumspect. Now that she was learning what his Greek endearments meant.

His aching hard-on felt ready to explode, distracting him. He gave her his best cajoling look. “Ride me?”

Her stunning blue gaze went dark with passion as he’d known it would. “Do we have time?”

“Always.” They were not on a tight schedule, even if she wanted to visit more museums in one day than he usually saw in a year.

She didn’t require any more convincing, but moved into position above his bobbing erection. “You look ready to burst.”

“I feel it,” he choked out gutturally from between clenched teeth as her slick feminine flesh brushed against him.

She went to reach for a condom and he stayed her with a hand between her perfectly shaped breasts. “Neither of us has been with anyone else in almost two years. I’ve had two clean bills of health over that time.”

He knew she’d tested every six months for a couple of years after finding out Art was such a damn tomcat and wasn’t surprised when she said, “Me, too.”

“Then, let’s go bare.” She used the patch for birth control, so they didn’t need to worry about making a baby neither of them were ready for.

“Yes,” she breathed out, lowering her body so his hard length slid inside her moist channel.

He said that word that she always chided him for and had to fight the urge to surge upward with every ounce of self-control he had earned in his thirty-five years of life. She rewarded his restraint by dropping down and engulfing his entire length in her humid heat. Damn, massaging him had excited her.

She was slick with arousal and her inner muscles clenched at him in undeniable need. They moved together like animals mating and yet, not. Their supreme awareness of each other could be no less than human. Their gazes locked and never broke once during the wild ride.

The sensation of their bare skin moving together threw him into a convulsive climax, but he didn’t have to worry. She was right there with him, her head thrown back, her pleasure falling from her lips in a keening cry that tingled at the base of his spine.

This moment in time was perfection.

Zephyr surprised himself by enjoying their gluttonous day of museum-viewing. While he liked museums, he wouldn’t normally have planned an entire day around visiting as many as he could get to. However, Piper’s enthusiasm and fascination was catching. That was the only excuse he could make for how interested he was, even in exhibits that he had seen before as a child on group trips with the other children from the home.

He’d refused to use the term orphan because he hadn’t been one. He’d had both a mother and a father, even if neither had been willing to make him an important part of their life.

“This just goes to show that we repeat ourselves creatively. This would be considered ‘modern art’ by current art critics. If it hadn’t been dated as being more than four thousand years old.”

They were standing in front of an early Cycladic statue that did indeed look like something he might see in a gallery dedicated to modern artists. “It seems odd the statues would be so lacking in intricate detail when the pottery has such complicated patterns on it.”

“I’m sure someone hundreds of years from now will find it strange that our houses are built like cookie-cutter images of one another, but we are so particular about what goes inside them.”

He turned to her, laying a hand on her waist and not questioning the urge to do so. “You think so?”

“That, or they’ll postulate we only ate on plastic because plastic dishes are the only ones that survive that long.” Her azure eyes glittered with humor.

“We had stoneware in the home and you’re right. It didn’t last long.”

“My mom bought those unbreakable dishes, but nothing could prevent us kids losing them. The small square bowls made too good a shovel in a pinch.”

“I can just imagine you as a small child.”

“I was a terror.”

“But shy with strangers,” he guessed.

“Yep. Teachers never believed my mom about me until I’d organized my first boycott of the cafeteria’s no-name catsup. That stuff was nasty. Or had a petition going to reinstate outdoor school when budget cuts threatened that right of passage. It didn’t usually happen until my second year in school anyway.” She sounded altogether proud of herself.

“I see, you lulled the authority figures around you into complacency and then you sprang.”

“That’s about it.”

He laughed. “I have no problem seeing that.”

“Neither did my mother. School administrators were not so insightful.” Her eyes twinkled mischeviously. “Until after the fact.”

“I shudder to think what your children will be like.” Her daughters would be stubborn, her sons protective and both would be intelligent.

She gave him a strange look followed by a negligent shrug that wasn’t. Negligent. At least it didn’t seem so to him, but he didn’t ask her about it because she was already headed to the next display.

She stopped in front of a male kouros statue. “Nice to see Greek men haven’t changed in all these millennia.”

“I think I’m flattered.” The statue had seriously developed abs and thighs that could crack an opponent’s back in a wrestling match, ancient or modern. However, the genitals were nothing to write home about. “I hope you are not comparing certain aspects of my anatomy to his understated representation.”

She gave him a mocking little smile that made him want to do something that would turn that smile into a grin. “I read somewhere that the aspect of a statue’s form was deliberately underrepresented so the focus could be on the aesthetic rather than the sexual.”

“That, or the only men willing to be used as artists’ models had teeny weenies.”

Piper burst out laughing as he’d expected her to, drawing the attention of those around them. While most of it was indulgent, one serious-looking elderly man glared. And a young woman sent daggers Piper’s way, but he didn’t know if that was for her laughter or the fact she was so clearly with him.

The woman had given him an encouraging once-over when he and Piper had first arrived at the National Museum, but he had ignored her.

Once again, he turned his back on her and smiled down at his beautiful companion. “That is not something you have to worry about in my bed, no?”

“You, Zephyr Nikos, are a braggart. And a bad, bad man.” The laughter still laced her voice and he wanted to kiss its flavor from her lips, but he refrained.

Stealing a kiss at the Acropolis, he could get away with. But he’d get more than one glare at such a public display of affection in the National Museum. Greece was not America, or even England for that matter, when it came to love affairs being conducted in public. It was generally a far more conservative country.

That had never bothered him before, but he wanted to kiss his yineka. However, he refused to embarrass her.

He would make up for it and then some when they returned to their room later.

The next morning, Piper tried to gather her thoughts as hot water pelted down over her during her solitary shower. The day before, they’d both admitted to fidelity and agreed to stop using condoms. She’d wanted the illusion of deeper intimacy for what she was coming to accept would have to be their last tryst and had readily agreed.

Only later had she begun to wonder if those were the actions of a man who would never love her? At first, she’d discounted his assertion he hadn’t been with another woman since the second time they’d made love, but as the day wore on she’d asked herself why. And she hadn’t liked the answer. She would not let Art have that much control of her present, regardless of how his betrayal had hurt.

But even believing in Zephyr’s faithfulness, what did that mean? Was he capable of loving her? So many things pointed to a yes answer, even as his self-admissions denied the possibility.

Their time at the museums had been almost magical, full of laughter and subtle marks of affection between them. The little touches had added up and by the time they returned to their hotel to get ready for dinner, Zephyr had overcome her with a storm of desire. They’d missed their reservations and had a local café deliver dinner to their room.

Zephyr had been right when asked. For enough money, any restaurant would deliver food to a hungry couple. Even a couple who had refused to leave their hotel room while sating a different hunger than that of the stomach.

How could she end their sexual liaison without ending their friendship? Did she have enough strength of will to be his friend without falling back into his bed? And even if she did, would maintaining their friendship be the best thing for her emotional well-being? How was she going to get over him if she continued to see him?

But how could she stop seeing him without totally shattering what was left of her heart?

This morning had only added to her already roiling thoughts and emotions. They’d once again made love and it had been so profound, she’d been a breath away from blurting out her love for him.

She’d needed some time to get her emotions back under control and insisted Zephyr take one of his military-length showers. Alone. He often bragged about the quick grooming habits he’d learned on the ship he’d worked when leaving Greece and she wasn’t above playing to that pride. She’d used the excuse that they needed to get going if they were going to make it to the seaside village that was home to Trident’s temple ruins in time to actually see them.

Clearly indulging her, he’d agreed. And she’d gotten a few precious and necessary minutes to herself, both while he showered and now while she did.

The only problem was, her emotions were just as raw now as they had been while she and Zephyr made love. She ached with the need to tell him of her feelings, but was afraid that they would be an unwelcome burden. And she couldn’t squash the hope that maybe if he just realized it was safe to love her, that she wouldn’t betray him as others had in the past, he might let his heart out of its self-imposed prison.

Carefully, she swiped soapy hands over her birth control patch. Or rather where the patch was supposed to be.

No. No, no, no, no.

It was there. It had to be. She craned her neck over her shoulder to look down at her right hip, but saw nothing except smooth skin. She looked over the other side, praying she’d forgotten that she’d used a different hip this time. But no flesh-colored square resided there, either.

Where was it? She wasn’t due to replace the weekly dose of birth control until the day after tomorrow and she wasn’t scheduled to be without until a full week after that.

Oh, God. The prayer left her lips in desperation as she tried to remember the last time she’d checked the patch.

Having it there had become such second nature that she barely even noticed it anymore. She was always careful in the shower, never soaping the area directly. She’d lost one the first month she was using them, but she’d soon learned how to avoid corrupting the adhesive that held the hormone dispenser in place.

She forced her mind to bring up and scour images from the preceding days, but the last clear impression she had of her patch was during her shower in a Midwest hotel room the morning before catching her flight to Greece. No, she couldn’t have lost it her first day in Athens.

It wouldn’t have just fallen off. But the way she and Zephyr had touched that first time making love after their weeks-long separation had been rough, urgent and not at all careful of clothing, much less an adhesive square attached to her body. But if she’d lost it then, they had made love a number of times since without any form of protection.

Her breath choked in her throat at the very real possibility of what that could mean. No. She refused to believe God would be that cruel.

She felt like hyperventilating as she asked herself what to do now. How was she supposed to walk away from Zephyr if she was pregnant with his child? Would he believe that she had not done it on purpose? Losing the condoms had been his idea, but would he remember that when faced with the unexpected results?

She didn’t want to tell him pregnancy was even a possibility. Doing so would only add stress between them when there was as much a chance she wasn’t now carrying new life as that she was. Maybe even more so, considering how long she’d been on the patch.

However, if she didn’t tell him, how would she explain the need to return to using condoms? Also, if she didn’t, how would she ever be able to explain that level of dishonesty to herself? A lie of omission was still a lie, wasn’t it?

She wanted Zephyr to believe it was safe to love her, that he could trust her with his deepest emotions and needs. How could she build that trust with him if she hid something this important from him? Wasn’t it better to be honest and up-front about what was going on, rather than pretending everything was fine when it very much was not?

Hadn’t Art done that to her? And before him, her parents? Who often waited until the last possible moment to warn her about the next move? They’d always justified this behavior by saying they had enough to deal with without her and her brother and sister having a month-long temper tantrum about leaving their friends behind. They gave just enough time for their children to say goodbye to their closest friends before uprooting them for her father’s newest military assignment.

Certainty and something like a fatalistic dread settled inside her. Though maybe for the first time, she began to understand her parents’ thinking; she wasn’t about to play that kind of game with Zephyr.

She quickly finished her shower, dressed and pulled her hair into an easy ponytail, rather than styling it. She bypassed makeup and exited the en suite bathroom a good ten minutes ahead of schedule.

Zephyr was just closing the door behind their room-service delivery. He turned to her with a sexy smile. “Breakfast is served.”

“Perfect.” Should she tell him now, or wait until later?

“You look a little shaken,” he said with a frown of concern. “Did you see a spider in the shower, or something?”

“Please. I’m not even a little arachnophobic.” But shaken described nicely how she felt.

“That’s good to know.”

“Yes, well, um…”

He stopped uncovering dishes and stared at her, his concern obviously amping up a notch. “You’re starting to worry me.”

“That might be wise. To be worried, I mean. Though, honestly, they say it takes positively months to get pregnant after you stop using birth control usually.” Oh, man, she was making a cake of this, a very messy one. “There’s no reason to assume tragic consequences now.”

“What are you talking about?” He stopped, going absolutely still. “Did you say pregnant? You’re on the birth control patch.”

“Yes, I would be, if it was actually there, I mean. If I had it on.”

“Of course it’s on. You never forget it.” He was starting to look a little shaken himself.

“I didn’t forget it this time, but it’s not there.”

“Not there?” Six feet three inches of solid muscle went boneless and he dropped to sit on the chair behind him. Hard. “Your…my…you…I…”

“You sound as coherent as I felt when I first realized it was gone.” Truth was, she wasn’t feeling that much better right now.

He stared off into space for several seconds and then shook his head. “I don’t remember seeing it.” He leaned on the table with his elbows, his head in his hands. “I don’t remember seeing it, but I wasn’t looking, either.”

“Since that first time day before yesterday?”

“I wouldn’t have noticed anything then. But no, not since.” He looked at her with an expression she’d never seen on the big tycoon’s face. Fear coupled with guilt. Severe guilt. “I never even noticed. Can you forgive me?”

Okay, that was not expected. She’d anticipated anger, blame, even horror, but not an obviously genuine guilt-fueled apology.

She crossed the room and dropped to her knees in front of him, putting her hands on his thighs. “It’s not your fault. I didn’t notice it was gone, either. We were, um…busy, in the shower yesterday and I’m just so used to it being there, I never even thought to check.”

“But you checked today.”’

“More like I noticed when I went to wash that area more carefully.”

“I cannot believe I did not pay closer attention. And then I asked you to stop using condoms.” His voice dripped with agonized culpability.

Okay, so she definitely did not have to worry about him blaming her, but she didn’t want him feeling guilty, or like an idiot. Even if she did. “We’re both adults. We both didn’t realize. The patch was my responsibility.”

“That is like saying that remembering to use a condom was my purview alone and I know you did not see it that way.”

“It’s not the same thing.”

“Of course it is. Besides, sharing the blame does no good and makes no difference to the child we may have created.”

“There’s no reason to assume I’m pregnant.” That was one leap of faith she did not want to make right now. “I told you, many women take months to get pregnant after they stop using the patch.”

“You also called possible pregnancy a tragedy.” He didn’t look very happy about that. At all. “You would not consider termination?”

“What? No, definitely not. That would never be an option for me.”

He looked relieved, but no happier. “Still, you consider the possible consequences tragic.”

“I didn’t mean that. Not really. I’m frightened of what this would mean for me, for us, if I were pregnant,” she admitted, emotion choking her.

“I am neither of my parents. You understand?” He said something in Greek she had no hope of understanding, then gave her a look she wouldn’t want to see across a boardroom or in a dark alley for that matter. “I will not abandon my child.”

That was one thing she would never have worried about, even if he hadn’t said it. Then a way of getting him off this line of enquiry came to her. “I would never expect you to, but could we please stop talking like pregnancy is a foregone conclusion?”

“And you?” he asked, clearly ignoring her plea.

She tried not to be offended he had even asked. In his mind, he had good reason for doing so. Irrefutable experience. But still, the question hurt. “I’m not your mother. I don’t have to give my child up in order to leave a soul-destroying life behind.”

“How long since your last period?”

“What, are you an expert on menstrual cycles?” she challenged.

“No.”

“I’m not, either.” She blew out a frustrated breath. “But I do know somewhere in the middle of your cycle is the most likely time for pregnancy to occur.”

“And?”

She winced, wishing she could say something else. “I’m pretty much smack-dab there right now.”

“Even so, as you say, many women do not fall pregnant quickly after being on birth control for a prolonged period. How long have you been on the patch?”

“I started taking it with Art and never went off, even though I was celibate until that first time with you. I liked the way it balanced my monthly hormone cycle.”

“That is a significant amount of time.”

“Yes.”

“So, the chances you are pregnant are diminished?”

“So I’ve been led to believe.” She looked at him worriedly.

“But diminished is not nonexistent.”

“No.”

“Are you very angry?”

“Angry? No. Well, maybe a smidge with myself. I feel like an idiot for not keeping more attentive track, especially when we stopped using condoms.”

“But you are not angry at the prospect of carrying my child?”

“No.” Oh, heck. She might as well go for broke. She was feeling reckless and tired of hiding feelings that were so strong they left little room for anything else. “I can’t imagine anyone I would rather have as the father of my child.”

Shock froze his features for several long seconds. “You do not mean that.”

“I don’t lie.”

“No, you don’t. No more than I.”

That was something she still had to work on believing, but she wasn’t going to tell him that. Because Zephyr had never done anything to earn her mistrust.

“I guess a billionaire real-estate tycoon would make an admirable choice as father for your child,” he said in his second full-scale departure from tact.

She just managed to stop herself clouting him. “This is more of that, they want me in their life for what I can buy for them garbage, isn’t it? I don’t look at you as a meal ticket, Zee.”

And he’d better get that through his head right now, or they were going to have more problems between them than an unanticipated possible pregnancy.

He jolted. “You have never called me that before.”

Sometimes, he focused on the least important things.

“I’ve heard Neo do so.” But he was right. For some reason, believing she might be pregnant with Zephyr’s child made her feel more comfortable with the casual intimacy.

“Yes.”

“If you don’t like it, I won’t do it again,” she offered.

“I do not mind.”

“Fine. Um, we need to make a plan.”

“You need to eat breakfast.” Again with the non sequitur, but maybe that was okay. For now.

She needed some time to think if nothing else. “So do you.”

“Then let us eat.” And incredibly, they managed to do that without any further discussion of possible consequences of the lack of birth control.

They were halfway to Sounion before he mentioned the morning’s disturbing revelations again.

“So, a plan,” he said as they drove down the coastal highway.

“We should, um, probably go back to using condoms until we know if I’m pregnant.” She had realized during her personal ruminations that was as far as she wanted to go with contingency arrangements at present. Her mind simply refused to wrap around the prospect of a child. Their baby. Growing inside her body.

Yesterday, she’d been thinking she had to tell him goodbye once and for all and now she was faced with the prospect of never being able to do so, even if they stopped making love.

“Yes.”

“I don’t want to put another patch on, just in case, even though it is not likely, but we should definitely use condoms.” She shook her head at herself. She didn’t want to risk hurting a baby that probably didn’t even exist.

“You’ve mentioned that point several times.”

“Have I?”

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry,” she apologized distractedly.

“Are you that disturbed by the idea of being pregnant with my child?”

“We’ve already covered this ground.”

“Then by the prospect of being pregnant at all?” He slid a sidelong glance at her before looking back at the road.

“I’m building a business. Having a baby will change a lot of things, including how much time I can spend on work.” It was the only concern she was willing to voice right this second. She’d been on an emotional thrill ride since discovering the loss of her patch. Fear competed with hope and illicit joy at the prospect in equal measure.

“And this worries you?”

“A little,” she admitted. “I’m willing to rearrange my priorities though. Any child of mine will not pay for the choices of its parents.”

“As you felt you paid for yours.” He saw immediately her determination to give her child everything she felt she’d missed out on.

“To an extent, but even more so, as you paid for yours.”

“I cannot disagree there.” He smiled grimly.

“I’m not asking you to.”

“That is good.”

“I hate this,” she cried out on an explosive breath.

“What?”

“How stilted we are with each other. We were closer than we’d ever been and now this.”

“We are friends,” he said, frowning. “You being pregnant with my child will not change that.”

“We are more than friends, Zee. At least give me that much.” So, maybe she did want to deal with something besides the condom issue.

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t play dumb. It’s unbecoming, not to mention lacking in credibility.”

“I am not playing at anything.” He sounded offended, his voice sliding into that zone she’d come to recognize as his anger. The chill-factor was definitely in evidence.

“I’m sorry.” She stared out the window, blinking back tears she couldn’t even name the exact reason for. “I don’t mean to patronize you.”

“Thank you.”

“Somewhere along the way, we stopped being merely friends with benefits. I mean, for me anyway.”

“You prefer the term lovers?” he asked.

“That would be a start.” Not everything she wanted, but a definite beginning.

“But lovers are never permanent in my life.” Worry crept back into his voice, letting her know this was a genuine concern on his part.

“Make me the exception.”

“I do not know if I can do that.” He sighed. “Though if you are pregnant, neither of us will have a choice.”

The next-to-last thing she wanted was to be in his life by default. The last thing was to be out of his life completely, which said what about her plans to walk away from what they had before she got even more hurt? “I don’t want it to be that way.”

“What we want is not always what we get.”

She thought of the many times she’d had to move away from friends and activities that meant something to her. Then she remembered how helpless she had felt in the face of her ex-husband’s unrepentant and repeated infidelity. “That’s only too true.”

He took a deep breath and let it out with a big smile somewhere between appearing genuine and his game face. “So, let us forget for today that you might be pregnant with my child.”

“And on the verge of losing my dreams? Okay, I can do that.”

His jaw went taut, but he let her flippancy go. “Good. We will go to Sounion and play tourists and then catch the helicopter there as planned and fly to the island early this evening.”

“Will we make love tonight?”

“Did you want to make an appointment?” he teased.

“I just want to know that you haven’t already decided you are bored with me.”

“How can you even suggest that?”

“You’re the one who said…you know what, never mind. Let’s just focus on the present. Not the past. Not the future and definitely not the possibility we’ve started on that dynasty of yours earlier than expected.” Not to mention with a woman he hadn’t considered in the running for mother of his children a mere forty-eight hours ago.

“Right.”

And somehow, they managed it. Though she had to give most of the credit to Zephyr. Every time she started to worry, he seemed to know…and knew exactly how to stop it.