Читать книгу Taming Jason - Lucy Gordon - Страница 9

IT WAS dark in the room, and very quiet. The man in the bed lay in the mute blackness of despair.

Nurse Smith watched him for a moment before saying, ‘Good afternoon, Mr Tenby.’

Silence. He might have been dead.

His eyes were covered, as they had been ever since the accident that had almost killed him. Elinor knew how bad the injuries beneath those bandages were. She looked at his hands lying on the coverlet. Such big, ruthless hands, like the man himself. Jason Tenby had enforced his will on all who crossed his path, but today he was helpless, at the mercy of a woman who called him her enemy.

Elinor Smith pulled herself together. She was a nurse, sworn to protect the sick and vulnerable, and this man was both. It didn’t matter that he’d smashed her love and condemned her to a lonely wilderness. It was her job to care for him.

‘I don’t want any more damned nurses,’ the man said tiredly.

‘I know. They told me at the agency.’

‘The last two ran away.’

‘You mean they stormed out in indignation.’

Jason Tenby gave a grunt. ‘You’ve heard about that too?’

‘The head of the agency told me everything. He said it was fairer to warn me about you.’

‘So you’ve only yourself to blame for ignoring his warning.’

‘That’s right. I’ve only myself to blame.’

‘How long, I wonder, before you storm out?’

‘It’ll take more than you can throw at me.’ She was feeling her way, sensing that a robust approach would work best with this patient. Sympathy would merely drive him crazy. He was already on the edge of endurance, clinging on with frantic fingertips to a crumbling sanity.

She looked around his old-fashioned room, with its big oak bed and heavy oak furniture. The carpet was a deep brown, and russet curtains hung at the tall windows.

It was an intensely masculine room with nothing soft or gentle about it. The man who lived in this wealthy house spent little on his personal needs. A hard man. A comfortless man in a comfortless desert.

‘And your name?’ he asked at last.

‘Nurse Smith.’

‘I meant your first name.’

‘I think Nurse Smith is best for the moment.’

‘The formal approach, huh?’

‘It’ll make it easier for you to yell at me.’

‘I guess it will at that. Tell me what you look like.’

‘I wear a white uniform and a white cap. And black, sensible shoes.’

In the long pause that followed, she could sense him sizing her up.

‘By God, you’re a cool one!’ he said at last.

‘I’m here to help you, Mr Tenby. That’s all that matters. I want to see you up and walking, as you used to.’

His voice had a bitter edge. ‘And you really think that can happen? Have you read the notes?’

‘Yes. There was a fire in your stables. You went in to rescue a horse and the roof fell on you.’

Another grunt. ‘Damned horse wasn’t even there. Someone else had already got it out.’

‘It must have been hard having all this happen for nothing,’ Elinor agreed. ‘You were lucky not to have been seriously burned.’

‘Yes, people keep telling me how lucky I was,’ said the sightless figure on the bed.

‘You were partially protected by the beams that fell on you. Because of them your burns were superficial, and have now healed. So have your ribs. Your back’s injured and your sight has been damaged, but with luck that won’t last.’

‘You’re just giving me the same line they all do. But you don’t believe it either.’

It was true. She was nowhere near convinced that he would see or walk again. But he had to be convinced of it if he were to have a chance.

‘I believe it can happen if we work at it together,’ she said firmly. ‘And that’s what we’re going to do.’

Suddenly his brows drew together and he covered his bandaged eyes with his hand. Elinor could see that something vital inside him had cracked.

‘For God’s sake, go!’ he said in a shaking voice. ‘Just leave me.’

‘Certainly.’ She closed the door firmly so that he could hear that she’d gone.

Mrs Hadwick, the housekeeper, was waiting in the corridor.

‘All your bags have been taken upstairs, miss,’ she said. ‘I’ll show you the way.’

Because she was on edge over her meeting with Jason, Elinor had chosen to visit him first, before even going to her room. Now she followed the housekeeper down the corridor and round the corner. And, with alarm, she realised where she was going.

‘This room—’ she said.

‘It’s the best guest room,’ Mrs Hadwick said, pushing open a door. ‘I’ll send you up some tea.’ She vanished.

The room was big and imposing, with a four poster bed in the centre. There was a dressing table, an ordinary table and chair, and a big, comfortable armchair. There were two tall windows with drapes that swept the floor. Nothing had changed since the last time she’d slept here, six years ago.

Until now she’d managed to control her memories, but in this place they came flooding back.

Simon seemed to be with her, young and handsome, full of love and eagerness, as he’d been the day he first brought her to his home as his future bride, driving with one arm around her shoulders, and one on the wheel of his gleaming new sports car. They’d swept up the long avenue of oaks until suddenly the house had come into view, and she’d gasped at its beauty and splendour.

‘Simon, I never dreamed—that can’t be your home?’

‘What’s the matter with it?’

‘I’ve never been in a place like that before. I grew up in one of those shabby little back-to-back places at the town end. My mother was a cleaner in your father’s factory.’

He gave a shout of laughter. ‘No, really? Tell me.’

‘She used to do the early morning shift. One day she took me with her. It was against the rules, but otherwise I’d have had to stay at home in an empty house. We nearly got away with it, but one morning I bumped into your brother.’

‘Jason? You mean you’ve already met? Suppose he remembers you?’

‘I was eight years old. He won’t know me after all these years. You mustn’t tell him. Promise.’

‘I promise.’

‘Cross your heart and hope to die. Oh, dear, I wish now I hadn’t told you.’

‘Darling, that really hurts me. If you can’t trust me, who can you trust?’

‘Oh, I didn’t mean that. Truly I didn’t. Of course I trust you, but don’t you see? I don’t belong here.’

‘You belong with me,’ he said firmly.

How desperately she loved him. It seemed as if her slender form must shatter with the force of her love.

As they neared the house she saw a tall man standing on the steps. He’d been a teenager when she’d glimpsed him in the factory, but she had no trouble recognising him again as Jason Tenby.

He must have been a good six foot two, with broad shoulders and a certain massiveness about his presence that had more to do with his air than his build. His hair was dark brown with a touch of red, and his skin was tanned as though he spent a lot of time outdoors. He wore riding breeches and a tweed jacket and stood at his ease, one foot on the lowest step, his hands thrust into his breeches pocket. He looked for all the world like a patriarch watching the hordes advancing on his domain, sizing up a threat.

‘How do you do, Miss Smith?’ His voice was deep and vibrant. Had she imagined it contained a sneer, as though he was mocking her for her commonplace name?

His very handshake was unnerving. Her delicate hand was swallowed up in his great fist, and she almost gasped from the strength of his grip and the sense of power that came from him.

She remembered every moment of her first evening at Tenby Manor. It was the first time she’d been in a house where people dressed for dinner. At least, she thought, she could live up to her surroundings, for she had an expensive long gown and a delicate sapphire pendant, both of them Simon’s gifts. He was wonderfully handsome in dinner jacket and black tie, although even her adoring eyes could see that he was cast into the shadow by his brother.

Simon was twenty, slim and mercurial, with fair, boyish looks and rapid speech. Jason was twenty-eight with slow, thoughtful speech and an authority beyond his years.

Simon enchanted her. Jason awed her.

There was only a slight brotherly likeness between them. Already Jason’s face was harsh with experience, and there was a firmness about his mouth and chin that revealed his impatience with fools, or with anyone who disagreed with him. Yet when in repose his mouth had an unexpected curve, suggesting humour, sensuality, even charm. She grew nervous whenever he looked at her because his dark eyes seemed to swallow light, and it was impossible to read his thoughts in them.

The walls of the grand dining room were lined with portraits of Tenby ancestors, and under their censorious eyes she was sure she would use the wrong knife and fork, or knock over one of the lead-crystal glasses. But it wasn’t as bad as she’d feared. Jason talked to her cordially enough, and showed no sign of recognising her from years ago. Afterwards he showed her around the grand house, and they sat talking in the library.

‘So, how did you meet my brother?’ he asked, handing her a sherry.

‘Hasn’t Simon told you?’

‘I’d like to hear your version. He has a tendency to—shall we say—embellish things?’

She nodded. ‘He does have a wonderful imagination,’ she agreed eagerly. To his dour brother Simon’s tendency to get carried away might be maddening, but after her dull life it was a glorious plus.

‘Wonderful,’ Jason echoed. Then, unexpectedly, he grinned. She couldn’t help herself smiling back, and for a moment a flash of understanding passed between them.

‘I was working in a shoe shop,’ she said with a touch of defiance. ‘And Simon came in to buy some shoes.’

He’d stayed two hours and left with five pairs— ‘because I couldn’t tear myself away from your sweet face’, he’d said over dinner that night.

‘Have you done any other kind of work?’ Jason asked.

‘I was going to train as a nurse, but my mother became ill and I stayed at home to look after her until she died.’

‘And you didn’t start your training then?’

‘Well—then I met Simon,’ she said, and nothing could have stopped the gentle smile that crept over her face.

She heard a sound like a sharp intake of breath and looked up quickly to find Jason staring at her, hard-eyed.

‘What does your father do?’ he demanded abruptly.

‘He’s been dead for ten years.’

Joe Smith had fallen into a ditch while weaving his drunken way home from the pub, gone to sleep in a foot of water and never woken again. She could imagine what this stern man would make of such a story.

She noticed Jason frowning as she spoke, and suddenly he leaned towards her and said, ‘You really are Brenda Smith’s daughter. I couldn’t believe it at first—’

So he’d recognised her after all, she thought in despair.

‘Yes, I—that is—’

‘And we met that day in the factory. Well, well! A little more sherry?’

While she was sipping he suddenly demanded, ‘What made you choose that dress?’

Taken off guard, she did what came naturally to her, and replied with complete honesty. ‘Simon chose it.’

‘So I would have supposed,’ he replied dryly. ‘Paid for it too, I dare say.’

‘I didn’t ask him to—’

‘Don’t say a word. I know my brother. That thing is much too old and sophisticated for you.’

‘I—I thought it would be suitable,’ she stammered.

‘You mean you thought you should dress up and pretend to be something you’re not. Damned idiotic idea! Who do you think you’re fooling?’

Her cheeks flamed. He saw it and added more kindly, ‘Don’t take it to heart. I’m a plain man—a rough man, some would say—and I talk plainly. And, in plain words, you and Simon are a mistake.’

‘You can’t tell that in one evening.’

‘I could tell it in one minute.’

To her relief Simon came looking for them then. Jason said no more, but let Simon take her away for a stroll in the garden.

‘He knows me,’ she said, distraught. ‘He recognised me all the time. It’s not funny—’ Simon had broken into a chuckle.

‘I’m sorry, darling,’ he choked. ‘What did he actually say?’

‘He said, “You really are Brenda Smith’s daughter. I couldn’t believe it at first—”. Oh, Simon, don’t you see what that means? He saw it during dinner and he kept it to himself until he was ready.’

‘Did he tell you what made him realise?’ Simon asked in a curious voice.

‘No. Oh, what does that matter? He was laughing at me all that time.’

‘He enjoys being one up on people,’ Simon agreed.

‘What else did he say?’

‘Isn’t that enough? He despises me because I haven’t got any “background.”’

His laugh came echoing down the years to her now. How young and delightful he’d been! How generous and full of charm! ‘Who cares about background?’

Her name was Elinor Lucinda, but Simon called her Cindy. Cindy for Lucinda, but also—

‘Cindy for Cinderella,’ he teased. ‘My little Cinderella.’

Her poverty enchanted him. ‘I love giving you things,’ he said that first night as they walked under the trees. ‘I’m going to cover you with diamonds.’

‘But I don’t want diamonds. Just your love, my darling. Nothing but your love.’

‘You can have that as well, all tied up with a big shiny bow, and anything else you ask for.’

Lost in delight, she hardly realised that they’d returned to the house and were crossing the hall. Only then did she see Jason, standing on the stairs, close enough to hear Simon’s extravagant promises. But her own voice was softer, and Jason had probably missed her gentle protest.

She had a brief glimpse of his face, dark and angry, before he turned away.

Jason never mentioned what he’d overheard, but in a dozen ways he made it clear that Simon was dependent on him for money. Simon confirmed it.

‘I inherit plenty under my father’s will, but Jason’s got the purse-strings until I’m twenty-five,’ he said with a shrug. ‘So what? How can he stop me using my credit cards? And when the money is spent, how can he refuse to pay up? It’s my money, after all. Don’t worry about it.’

That was his philosophy of life. Don’t worry about it. And somehow things always worked out Simon’s way. Living under his spell, as she did, it was easy to believe they always would.

She guessed it was no accident that their bedrooms were at opposite ends of the great house. In fact Jason’s precautions were needless. The young girl hadn’t yet offered herself totally to the man she adored, and she loved Simon more for respecting her wishes. The day would come soon when they would be one in flesh as they were one in heart and soul. But just for now she was enjoying this sweet time of anticipation.

So Jason’s resolve to keep his brother out of her bed was an insult. He couldn’t have said more clearly that he saw her as a schemer. And at last she heard those words from his own lips. She came across the brothers by accident, and couldn’t help overhearing Jason’s voice.

‘You young fool. You’re not going anywhere near her room if I have to bar the way myself…The last thing I want is that girl getting pregnant…’

She fled before they could discover her. She would have liked to flee Tenby Manor altogether, but there was a strong inner core beneath her gentle exterior, and it made her determined to stay and fight for her love. Yes, even to fight Jason Tenby himself. And she knew he was a formidable foe.

‘Why don’t you chuck Simon back into the sea?’ Jason asked once. ‘You’ll find other fish that suit you better.’

‘I’ll never love anyone but Simon,’ she said fervently.

‘Then you’re a fool.’

‘And Simon? Is he a fool?’ she asked, more bravely than she felt.

‘Yes, because he believes in the same kind of love that you do. I’ve seen his infatuations before. He enjoys the romantic stage, putting the girl on a pedestal, buying her gifts, asking for nothing back.’

He said the last words with a sneer that stung her into retorting, ‘I can’t imagine you asking for nothing back.’

‘Then you’re a good judge of character,’ he said with a raffish grin. ‘The romantic bit is all very nice, but I’m the one who has to pick up the pieces, sort out the broken hearts, the whole boring thing.’

‘But you’ve got it all wrong,’ she said passionately. ‘I understand why you’re concerned for your brother, but I won’t break his heart—’

‘Only his bank account, eh?’

‘That’s a wicked thing to say—’

‘Look, I’ve seen some of the presents he’s given you—all bought with money he doesn’t have.’

‘I don’t ask him to—’

‘Sure you don’t. You don’t need to. He enjoys splashing out. Well, I can be generous too—for a purpose.’ He named a sum of money.

‘Are you trying to buy me off?’ she demanded, outraged.

He shrugged. ‘Put it how you like. It’s a good bargain.’

‘And my-self respect? How would I buy that back?’

‘That’s a good line. I’ll up the offer a little, but not much.’

‘You could double it and I still wouldn’t be interested.’

‘No, don’t overplay your hand. I won’t double it.’

Furiously she stormed off, but at the last minute something made her turn back to look at him, standing there, regarding her with a sceptical look.

She was used to waking early, and she enjoyed getting up with the dawn to look out of her window and watch the sun rising over the Tenby estate. At such moments she could forget the tensions that swirled around her, spoiling this beautiful place.

But then one morning it was spoilt anyway, by the sight of Jason pounding up the avenue of oaks, mounted on Damon, his big black stallion. Simon had called the horse ‘a ferocious brute who tries to kill everyone who comes near him’, but Jason sat him as easily as if he were a pony.

He wore no jacket, and through his thin shirt she could see the tension of his muscles, controlling the huge beast without effort.

He thought he could control everything, she thought—his estates, his brother, the whole world. But she wouldn’t let him control her.

A moment later he stopped under her window.

‘Do you ride?’ he called up.

‘I—yes,’ she said.

‘Good. I’ll find you a mount.’

She’d made a bad mistake. Her mother had once done housework for a man who owned a fat, elderly pony. He’d let the child play with the animal, and she’d learned to saddle him and sit there while he ambled slowly about. And she’d thought that was riding.

She looked good in a riding habit that belonged to their recently married sister, but almost at once she knew she’d done something stupid. Her mount was gentle enough, but it was a real horse. It needed to be properly ridden. And she didn’t know how.

What happened next would always fill her with shame.

The horse simply ignored her, going happily on its own way, while she grew more and more miserable and humiliated. Her one real effort to take charge resulted in the beast trotting off to the nearest stream and stopping so suddenly that she was deposited in the water.

It was Jason who hauled her out. ‘Why did you pretend you could ride?’ he demanded, exasperated. ‘Of all the idiots!’

‘I can ride, but not on an animal like that,’ she insisted, pulling off her sodden jacket. Beneath it she wore a thin white sweater, which was also soaking.

‘What do you mean, “an animal like that”?’ he yelled back. ‘It’s a horse, for Pete’s sake. It’s got one leg at each corner and nothing between its ears. It’s a mount for a child, always assuming the child knows what it’s doing. What did you learn on, a rocking horse?’

‘Stop it!’ she cried. ‘Stop trying to bully me.’

‘Bully you, you stupid girl? I’m trying to prevent you making the biggest mistake of your life.’ Suddenly he seemed to lose his temper, taking hard hold of her shoulders. ‘Stop trying to be something that you’re not, d’you hear? Get out of here while you can. Simon isn’t the man for you.’

‘That’s for me to say. Simon loves me and I love him.’

He gave her an exasperated little shake. She tried to pull free but he held her harder than ever. ‘Love,’ he said contemptuously. ‘What do you know?’

They held each other’s eyes, both now equally furious. She could hardly believe her own anger. Normally she was sweet tempered to a fault, but suddenly all the restraints were off and a fierce emotion rose in her, sweeping all before it, startling her. It startled her enemy too. She could see that in his eyes, as though something unexpected had winded him.

‘Hey!’

Simon’s voice surprised them both. He’d ridden up while they were preoccupied. Jason swore under his breath and released her. Simon threw himself down from his horse and put his jacket around her. Jason remounted and galloped off without a backward glance.

That evening Simon carved their initials on the oak tree, kissed her, and said, ‘I could have knocked him down for holding you like that. Did you know you were almost naked from the water?’

She blushed and laughed. ‘You don’t need to be jealous of your brother. He’s the last man I could ever look at. I can’t see how any woman could even like him.’

‘Jason knows how to make himself pleasant when it suits him. But when he wants to make himself unpleasant—look out!’

‘And he wants to make himself unpleasant now,’ she murmured. ‘But it won’t make any difference to us, will it?’

‘We won’t let it,’ he assured her.

How blindly confident she’d been that Simon could cope with every problem! How pitifully naive that confidence seemed now! Jason had managed to part them because he’d sworn to do so, and his will was inflexible.

But how could she ever have imagined that he would do so in a way so cruel, so callous, so unspeakably wicked?

Looking around the luxurious bedroom, Elinor knew she was mad to have returned here where bitter memories mocked her at every turn. She’d refused the job at first, and it had gone to someone else. But two days ago the other nurse had suffered a family crisis. The head of the agency had pleaded with her to fill the gap, and she’d decided perhaps it was time to confront her ghosts.

The first face to greet her hadn’t been a ghost. Mrs Hadwick had worked for the Tenbys all her life, but she’d been away for Elinor’s first visit.

Her decision not to tell Jason who she was had been an impulse. Smith was such a common name that he couldn’t identify her from that alone. Even Elinor wouldn’t mean anything to him. He’d known her as Cindy.

She’d done it for his sake. Telling him the truth would only put pressure on him, and he had enough pressures already.

She too was feeling pressured. She’d vowed to return, and she’d done so, in defiance of Jason’s order to ‘stay right away from this family’.

Now it didn’t feel right. She’d made that vow in grief and passion, but over the years all passion had drained away from her, replaced by the will to make something of herself. She’d worked night and day to qualify as a nurse.

She’d had no social life. She wanted nothing more to do with love. While other girls dated she’d studied, and passed her examinations near the top of her class.

These days she was a poised, elegant professional woman. There was nothing to connect her with the awkward girl who’d last come to Tenby Manor.

Or so she’d thought, until she’d seen her enemy again.

Time had gone back and she’d relived their first meeting, holding Simon’s hand for reassurance. Then she’d remembered that she was Nurse Smith, highly qualified and much in demand. And Jason Tenby was a sightless wreck of a man, who needed her help if he was ever to be anything else.

The knowledge brought her no satisfaction, only a weary conviction that she’d assumed a burden too heavy for her.

Then she pushed the feeling firmly away. She’d learned to be strong for herself. Now she would be strong for her patient. That was all he was. Just a patient.