Читать книгу Selfish People - Lucy English - Страница 12

Bailey, I’m worried about you and I can hardly think of anything else. Why did you tell me? We hardly know each other. You said, it’s a secret. I want to talk about this with somebody but I can’t. I can’t discuss it with Al. I mention you and he goes berserk. There are too many things to discuss with Al: money, Christmas, moving out. There are too many rows to be had.

Al gave her ₤80 and said, ‘That’s for Christmas,’ and Leah said, ‘It won’t be enough!’ and Al said, ‘That’s all we’ve got.’ She nearly burst into tears because it meant no presents for her brother and sister and mother. The children had made their Christmas lists long ago including things like mountain bikes, computers and videos – and who would tell them? She ran upstairs with Al shouting, ‘What did you expect?’ She shut herself in her room and looked through her jewellery, but anything valuable had been sold long ago.

Al was calling for her because Rachel was on the phone.

‘I’m back in the land of the living. Do you want to come out?’

‘I’d love to, I would. When?’

‘Tonight.’

‘Tonight? I’ll have to ask Al.’

Rachel made a tutting noise. She didn’t get on with Al. He was listening to the conversation. ‘Yes, go on bugger off, I don’t want you round here.’

‘I think he says yes,’ said Leah.

She took a long time getting ready. She changed clothes at least four times.

‘I don’t know …’ She was in a blue velvet dress and in front of the mirror. The children had just had baths and were jumping about with no clothes on.

‘Mummy’s all posh,’ said Tom.

‘Daddy will read the story,’ said Al. ‘Looks like Mummy’s too busy.’

‘If it’s a pub then I’m overdressed …’

‘For goodness’ sake!’ and he took the children into their room.

By eight o’clock she had tried on nearly everything black and she had decided. Black jeans and a black polo-necked sweater. It was lamb’s-wool and felt soft and delicious. She dashed downstairs to show Al, who was now watching telly.

‘How do I look?’

‘Why on earth should you care about what I think about how you look?’

She had forgotten. They were splitting up. She had forgotten everything. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said.

‘You look like somebody who spent three hours getting ready so they can look like somebody who just walked out of the door.’

Leah smiled. ‘Oh good,’ she said. There was a car beeping outside. Rachel never came to the door.

‘I don’t know what time I’ll be back,’ said Leah nervously.

‘You mean, don’t wait up and thump me. OK I won’t.’

‘Goodnight,’ said Leah.

‘Bugger off,’ said Al.

She had not seen Rachel since the visit after Ian had died. Lit up by streetlight she still looked pale and thin. ‘So, how are you?’ Leah asked.

‘I stopped walking around in sackcloth and ashes. Mummy and Daddy went home.’

‘Was that good?’

‘What do you think?’ and she screeched the car round a corner. She was not a careful driver. Leah grabbed the seat-belt strap and this made Rachel laugh.

‘Where are we going?’ said Leah, trying to be calm.

‘To the Queen of Sheba to see a band.’

‘I thought we were going for a quiet drink.’

‘God, no, it’s somebody’s birthday. Anyway I’m fed up with quiet. Quiet makes me fucking angry.’ She screeched round another corner.

The Queen of Sheba was a converted boat. It was dingy and half decorated. It smelt of tar and beer but it was a popular place. The hold of the old trawler was the bar. Rachel bought drinks. Leah looked at the other people. She didn’t know anybody. Rachel was wearing a huge bright pink sweater. She knitted jumpers and sold them in Bath but she hardly ever wore them. Tonight was an exception.

‘Come and meet everybody,’ said Rachel, leading her to a table. ‘This is Leah. This is Bill and Carol and Ange and Pete and the other Pete … and over there is Declan and Bailey, but you already know them.’ She turned, and at another table there they were, a whole heap of empty glasses in front of them. ‘Oi!’ shouted Rachel, ‘Leah’s here.’

Bailey stood up. He looked at Leah. He too was wearing a black polo-neck and black jeans. They faced each other. He sat down.

‘Stupid man,’ said Rachel. Declan waved, a big grin on his face, but his attention was diverted by Bailey telling a joke.

‘So you’re Leah,’ said somebody. ‘I’m Carol, sit next to me.’ Carol had a friendly face, lots of wavy dark hair and big square glasses. ‘It’s nice to see Rachel like her old self. We all knew Ian. It was so tragic.’

‘I only met him once,’ said Leah.

‘You’ll like Leah,’ said Rachel, sitting down as well. ‘She doesn’t go out much. Her pig-headed husband doesn’t let her.’

‘I’m leaving him. I meant to tell you earlier.’

‘Really?’

‘I really am … I really am.’ And she laughed because, yes, she really was.

‘I am sorry,’ said Carol, looking confused.

‘Don’t be,’ said Rachel. ‘This calls for a celebration. About time too. When? Next week?’

‘Not until after Christmas.’

‘Were you … married long?’ said Carol, embarrassed.

‘Whose birthday is it?’ asked Leah on a different tack.

‘It’s Bill’s birthday. This is Bill. I live with Bill,’ explained Carol.

Bill was small and dark. He had bottlebrush hair and little round glasses. ‘Rachel has such beautiful friends,’ he said charmingly.

Bailey was still with Declan. Rachel was getting drunk. Leah tried to distract her. ‘So, what do these people do?’ she asked her in a quiet moment.

‘Do?’ Rachel leaped up. ‘She wants to know what you all do.’ The conversation stopped and everybody looked at her. ‘Pete’s a social worker. Ange’s a nursery teacher. The other Pete’s in business management. My God, I’ve got interesting friends. Declan teaches. Carol’s an estate agent … that’s different, and Bill mends bikes.’

‘Bill the bike!’ shouted Bailey from the other end.

‘And Bailey does nothing except get drunk,’ shouted Rachel and sat down. She was being embarrassing and she didn’t care.

‘I do like you jumper,’ said Carol.

‘I don’t. I hate pink,’ said Rachel.

The band was introduced and the music started. ‘Venue says they’re a cheerful Nirvana,’ said Bill.