Читать книгу The Final Falcon Says I Do - Lucy Gordon, Lucy Gordon - Страница 8

CHAPTER TWO

AT LAST THEY reached the apartment block where Jackson lived, and managed to slip inside unseen. It took a few moments to go up in the elevator, and there was his front door.

‘Now we’re safe,’ he said, closing it behind them. ‘Forget them. They can’t get at you here.’

Freya looked around her as though confused, but suddenly she stopped, staring at a mirror on the wall. She was still wearing her veil and the pearl tiara that held it in place. With a gasp of fury she seized them, ripping them off and hurling them to the floor. Then she seized at her hair, tearing down the elaborate coiffure until it hung untidily about her face.

‘I’ve got to get out of this dress,’ she cried.

‘Come in here,’ Jackson said, leading her into his bedroom and opening the wardrobe. ‘Put something of mine on. My clothes will be too big for you, but they’ll do for a while. I’ll leave you.’

‘Wait.’ She turned so that her back was towards him. ‘I can’t undo it alone.’

There seemed to be a thousand tiny buttons to be released, and Jackson went to work. It wasn’t the first time he’d helped a woman undress, but those experiences were no use to him now. Inch by inch her figure came into view, and inwardly he cursed Dan again for abandoning such delicate beauty.

‘Thank you,’ she said at last. ‘I can manage the rest for myself.’

‘I’ll be outside if you want me,’ he said, and hurried away.

Left alone, Freya freed herself from the dress and the slip beneath. In the wardrobe she found a pair of jeans and a shirt, which she slipped on, and then she looked at herself in the full-length mirror.

It was only a short time ago that she’d stared at herself in the glamorous dress, hardly daring to believe that the beauty gazing back was actually herself.

‘And I shouldn’t have believed it,’ she murmured. ‘This is the real me—the one I always knew I was. Dull, ordinary. Not too bad on a good day, but pretty dreary on a bad one. I guess all the days are going to be bad from now on, and if I’m wise I’ll stick to working clothes.’

For several minutes she stood there, trying to get used to this other self, stranded in a bleak world.

* * *

In his office Jackson made a hurried phone call to Janine at the hotel.

‘Just to let you know that Freya’s all right,’ he told her. ‘I’ve brought her home with me.’

‘Oh, Jackson, thank you!’ she exclaimed. ‘There are such rows going on. Amos is fit to do murder. So are your brothers.’

‘I thought so. Freya needs to be well away from that. Don’t worry, I’ll keep her safe.’

‘How kind you are. She’s so lucky to have you!’

He gave a silent groan. If Janine knew the full story she’d be saying something very different. It was no use telling himself that he was essentially innocent. Dan had been seeking something that would trigger him into action and Jackson’s thoughtless words had done the trick. Now the beautiful bride was alone and humiliated, staring into an empty future.

‘Ask her to call me when she can,’ Janine said. ‘But as long as she’s with you I know she’s all right.’

He made a polite reply and hung up. For a moment he stayed tense and still, wishing he was anywhere in the universe but here. The click of the door made him look behind him to see Freya, clad in jeans and shirt, bearing no resemblance to the dazzling creature who’d come down the aisle in expectation of bliss.

‘Come on,’ he said. ‘Let’s have something to eat. There’s a Chinese restaurant nearby that delivers. You like king prawns with black pepper, don’t you?’

‘Yes, but how did you know?’

‘It was the first thing I learned about you when we met six years ago. My father and your mother were just beginning to talk about marriage and the four of us had an evening out in a restaurant. But then some of Dad’s business contacts turned up and he simply forgot about the rest of us.’

‘We made a run for it,’ she remembered. ‘There was a Chinese place a few yards away.’

‘And we had a good time there,’ he said. ‘Lots of laughs. Right—prawns it is.’

He made the call and the food arrived a few minutes later. Briefly they were both absorbed in serving it and getting settled at the table, but then she uttered the words he’d been dreading.

‘Jackson, I want you to tell me what really happened.’

‘But I’ve told you—’

‘I mean the bits you’ve left out. Oh, please don’t pretend you didn’t. What you said in the church was the polite version. It had to be, with all those people listening, but I really need to know. Dan got this far and then he suddenly backed off. There has to be a reason, and I think I know what it is, but I need to hear you say it.’

‘You—know what it is?’ he said cautiously.

‘Are you afraid I won’t be able to cope? Don’t worry. I’m not going to burst into tears and weep all over you. But, however painful the truth is, knowing it is better than wondering. Was it something I did wrong?’

‘No, nothing like that.’

‘Then I guess I know the answer, and I can see why you don’t want to tell me.’

‘Can you?’ he said with growing alarm.

‘Well it’s obvious, isn’t it? Something happened to make him realise that he couldn’t go through with it.’

‘Don’t—jump to conclusions,’ he said uneasily while his mind whirled. Surely she couldn’t have guessed what had really happened?

‘There’s only one thing it can be.’ She took a deep breath. ‘When you were on the way to the church you and he got talking and—and—’

‘And what?’ he forced himself to say, inwardly cowering.

‘He told you he’s in love with someone else, didn’t he?’

Jackson’s relief was so great that he nearly dropped his spoon. Perhaps he was going to get off more lightly than he deserved.

‘I think she must have called him before he left,’ Freya went on. ‘And on the journey he realised that he loved her too much to marry me.’

‘No, he didn’t say anything like that. He just lost his nerve.’

‘Oh, please, I know you’re being kind, but this isn’t the moment for kindness. It’s the moment for truth, however brutal. There’s another woman, isn’t there?’

‘Not that I know about,’ he said firmly. ‘But if that were the answer isn’t it better for you to escape him now? If you’d found out after you were married it would have been a bigger disaster.’

‘Would it? Perhaps I might have seen her off. If he’d chosen me over her—’

‘Freya, listen to me. If a man can act like this on the way to his wedding then he’s only interested in himself and you’re better off without him.’

‘Maybe I’ll feel like that one day.’ She sighed. ‘But it’s hard to imagine now. I’ll always remember how it felt to walk down the aisle, looking for Dan, sure that he’d be watching for me. I was so happy—and such a fool. When you came towards us I was delighted to see you. But then—there was nothing but emptiness. I was going to build my life around Dan, and suddenly there’s no life to build. Oh, I’m sorry. I promised I wouldn’t embarrass you.’

‘I’m not embarrassed. Say anything you want to. But listen to me. One life may have vanished, but there’ll be another one—and it will be better.’

She gave a slightly hysterical laugh. ‘You think I should be glad this happened?’

‘Not right now, but in years to come you’ll see that it was for the best that you got rid of him.’

‘But I didn’t. He got rid of me. He threw me aside like a piece of unwanted waste.’

‘You mustn’t think like that. You’re worth a thousand of Dan. How could you ever have thought yourself in love with him?’

‘Because right from the first moment I knew he was going to be special to me. My whole life changed just because he existed. It was as though the world had suddenly opened up. And everything was different—more exciting, more wonderful. When he proposed to me I was sure I’d never be unhappy again.’

Jackson drew a long, hard breath. It would be so simple now to tell her that Dan’s proposal had just been a defiance of Amos. But her heart had already been broken once, and he flinched from the thought of breaking it again.

‘He let you down,’ he growled. ‘He’s not the man you thought him.’

‘And I’m not the woman he really wanted. I can’t hide from that. But I’ll survive—with your help. Thanks for everything today.’ She made a wry face. ‘Even the bits that made me mad at you.’

‘Sorry I had to come on so strong. I didn’t want to pull you around, but—’

‘I didn’t give you any choice, did I? If you’d let me run off down the road—well, where would I be now? I’ll swear you’re the best brother I’ve ever had.’

‘Since you don’t have any brothers I’m not sure how to take that.’

They laughed together, both sounding shaky.

‘And just think of the price you’re going to pay.’ She sighed again. ‘This is going to give Amos ideas again.’

‘About pairing us off, you mean? I guess so, but don’t worry. You have nothing to fear from me.’ He took her hand and assumed a theatrical tone. ‘Freya, I give you my word, nothing will ever make me marry you. Let thunderbolts and lightning descend, I will still declare: Not her. Anyone but her.’

‘Just be sure you say it to Amos and make it convincing.’

‘You too. We’ll have to persuade him that we can’t stand the sight of each other.’

‘I’ll try, but it’ll be hard. Right this minute you look like the nicest man in the world.’

‘That’s a delusion,’ he said self-consciously.

‘If you say so.’

‘I do say so. If you knew what a swine I really am you’d sock me in the jaw.’

‘Another time. Right now I have something else to ask of you.’ She slipped a hand into the jeans pocket and brought out the luscious engagement ring that she had worn until a few hours ago. ‘Will you give that back to Dan, please?’

‘Oh, heavens, now I remember. I’ve still got the other ring.’

He reached into his jacket pocket and took out the wedding ring, laying the two of them side by side on the table.

‘I’ll give these to him as soon as I see him.’

She didn’t reply. She was gazing at the rings as though transfixed. After a moment she brushed a hand over her eyes, but not soon enough to hide the tears.

‘I’m sorry, I just—’

‘You’ve endured enough,’ he said sympathetically. ‘Why don’t you go and lie down? I won’t disturb you. The bedroom’s yours. I’ll sleep out here on the sofa.’

‘Why are you so kind to me?’ she choked.

Because I feel guilty for what I accidentally did to you.

The words thrummed through his head, almost forcing their way out. But he controlled them and escorted her into the bedroom.

‘You’ll find some clean pyjamas in that drawer,’ he said, and hurried out before his conscience overwhelmed him.

Left alone, she sat down on the bed, staring into space, unable to find the strength for anything else. In Jackson’s company, feeling his kindly care, she’d managed to cope. But now she felt as though she was drifting through infinity, in a world in which nothing was real.

She had tried to describe how Dan had made her feel, but there were no words for the sensation of being newly alive that he had given her. For the first time in her life she’d felt valuable to someone. Her relationship with her mother was cordial, but she knew she’d never come first. Janine and her late father had adored each other with an intensity that had made Freya feel like an outsider.

She’d made a life for herself, training as a nurse and passing her exams with honours. She’d had the pleasure of knowing that her parents were proud of her—especially her father, a learned man, who had been delighted that his brains had passed to his daughter. That had to be her consolation for the feeling of having been outside the enchanted circle.

Her loneliness had been intensified when her father died. Mother and daughter had grieved, but not together. Janine had suffered mostly alone, in a place Freya had not been able to touch.

But she was a successful nurse, and life had seemed settled on a conventional path until, two years after her father’s death, her mother had become engaged to the notorious Amos Falcon and she had begun to meet his five sons.

Jackson had been the first, on that evening in the restaurant that he’d mentioned earlier. Their escape to the nearby Chinese restaurant had been merry, but there had been another feeling beneath her laughter. He was handsome, charming, and she wouldn’t have minded if he’d asked her out on a date.

He hadn’t. She had sighed, shrugged, and returned to the young man she’d been dating, but who had suddenly seemed less interesting. They’d drifted apart.

At last there had been the wedding of Janine and Amos in London, and a gathering of the whole family in a hotel the night before. Jackson had greeted her with a cry of, ‘There’s my little sister!’ and enfolded her in a huge hug.

They’d moved away from the others to chat about how their lives were going. That had been before his television career, when he’d still been a newspaper journalist, with a thousand fascinating tales to tell. Freya had listened, promising herself that this time she would attract his interest. She’d already discovered how much he liked to laugh.

‘Go on—tell me more,’ she’d teased. ‘I’m hanging on every word.’

‘Hey, I really like talking to you.’ He had chuckled. ‘You know how to flatter a guy’s vanity. Why don’t we—?’ He’d stopped, riveted by something he’d seen over her shoulder. ‘Hey, look who’s— Karen!’

Then he’d been gone, racing across the room to the girl who’d just appeared, seizing her in his arms, kissing her again and again.

‘So she turned up after all,’ a voice had said in Freya’s ear. ‘We all wondered if she would.’

It had been Darius, regarding his brother with good-humoured cynicism.

‘Who is she?’ Freya had asked casually.

‘His latest light o’ love.’

‘Latest?’

‘They come and they go. Jackson likes variety in his life, which is partly why they broke up. Now they’ve got back together we’ll have to wait and see what happens.’

‘No prizes for guessing what’s about to happen now,’ Freya had observed, watching the pair slip out of the room.

‘He wouldn’t be Jackson if he passed up the chance.’

It was a lucky escape, she’d told herself. She might have become seriously attracted to Jackson but fate had saved her.

He’d brought Karen to the wedding as his guest. She was beautiful, Freya had thought enviously. Others had thought so too, because at the reception another man hadn’t been able to take his eyes from her. He’d hovered, annoying Karen, until Jackson had taken a firm grip on him and said something that had made him back off. Freya hadn’t heard the words but she’d seen Jackson’s face, and there had been a look of menace that had stunned her. All the charm had gone from him.

It had been over in a moment. The man had fled and Jackson had reverted to his usual pleasant self. But Freya had never forgotten what she had glimpsed. She knew that if anyone had looked at her like that she would have been terrified.

She’d expected to hear that Jackson was engaged to Karen, but nothing had happened. And why should she care? she wondered. She’d been briefly attracted to him, but rescue had come in time and it was no big deal. They’d settled for a friendship in which they teased, challenged and infuriated each other. What might have been was safely in the past.

There was still a sense of irony that of all men it should be Jackson who had come to her rescue now, taking her into his home, offering her his shoulder to cry on. But irony had always been part of their relationship.

Early in her mother’s marriage she’d joined Amos and Janine at their home in Monte Carlo. A heart attack had left him vulnerable, and Janine had asked her to pay a long visit.

‘He won’t hear of a nurse being there night and day,’ she’d said. ‘But he’ll have to let my daughter visit us, won’t he?’

She’d made the visit reluctantly. Nothing about Amos appealed to her, especially the stories of his several wives and affairs. But Amos had taken a liking to his stepdaughter and begun plotting to marry her to one of his sons. Freya had been far from flattered.

‘Was he mad when he thought of that?’ she’d demanded of her mother. ‘There isn’t one of them I’d ever dream of—ye gods and little fishes!’

As soon as Amos’s health had improved she’d left Monte Carlo, returning to England and her nursing career.

Amos had failed to marry her to Darius, Marcel, Travis or Leonid. That left only Jackson. Their friendship was strong enough for him to ‘reject’ her theatrically, as he’d just done. Since she felt the same there was no problem.

She’d be as mad to marry him as he’d be to marry her. Though there was no denying he was a nice enough guy—at least he was if you overlooked a few things—but he was a bit too set on having his own way. He must get that from Amos, although he’d never admit it. But he had been good to her today.

She pulled on the pyjamas he’d offered her and lay down on the bed, certain that she would be unable to sleep, but the strain of the day caught up with her suddenly and she could do nothing but close her eyes.

* * *

Jackson spent the next couple of hours quietly, so as not to disturb Freya. There was research that needed to be done for his next documentary, but somehow it was hard to imagine himself continuing to work with Dan. Professionally they had both benefited from working together, which made their relationship cordial without being an outright friendship.

He considered calling his father but decided against it. After what he’d learned this afternoon he was afraid he might speak his mind too bluntly. He had things to say to Amos about his behaviour, but he’d rather say them face to face.

The old man’s determination to make Freya his daughter-in-law had been a source of comedy and irritation in equal measure to his five sons. Their amusement had been good-natured, helped by the fact that Freya was no keener on the idea than they were.

If anything it had seemed to put the brothers and Freya off each other. There was no denying that Jackson found her a nice, attractive girl, but he’d never really thought of Freya that way, and nor had his brothers. She’d been Amos’s ‘tool’—an instrument for his bullying. He briefly wondered whether Freya had ever fancied any of them.

No way. Unless—

A faint memory came back to him: the evening in the Chinese restaurant. They had laughed and exchanged significant glances as couples did at the start, when their attraction was in the flickering, questioning stage. But the pressure from Amos had begun soon afterwards and he’d backed off, sensing with relief that Freya was doing the same. After that each had known the other was out of bounds.

But if Amos’s clumsiness hadn’t come between them what would have happened? Until now he’d never really wondered.

Quietly he went to the bedroom door and opened it just a crack. From inside he could hear the sound of soft breathing. He opened it a little further, enough to catch a faint glimpse of her lying on the bed.

Freya wasn’t the only woman who’d slept in that bed. It was large enough for two people, and he used it for what he thought of as ‘entertaining’. Many women had lain there, skimpily dressed or undressed. They’d looked at him through half-closed eyes, pretending to sleep while actually studying him, planning their next move.

But Freya’s form was totally concealed by his pyjamas. Her eyes were closed and the faint sounds she made told him that she was sunk in the sleep of exhaustion. She looked like a vulnerable child. He was heart-stricken. And he was floundering, baffled about how to cope. It was a new experience—one that alarmed him.

Quietly he closed the door and went to switch on the television. Almost at once he heard the words ‘Dan Connor’.

The screen was focussed on a film première. There were the stars, walking along the red carpet, and there was a luscious young female clutching the arm of her escort. Dan Connor.

‘There’s someone we didn’t expect to see,’ declared the presenter. ‘Dan Connor, television bigshot. He should have got married today, but—hey, Dan, what happened?’

‘Life happened,’ Dan declared, grinning in a way that made Jackson want to commit murder. ‘Apart from that—no comment.’ He leered at the girl on his arm. ‘Shall we go in?’

Jackson clenched his hands, silently calling Dan every name he could think of. He moved quickly to turn the set off, but it was too late. A faint sound made him look to see Freya standing in the doorway.

‘So that’s who she is,’ Freya said quietly.

‘No. Freya, you’re wrong. I’ll swear he’s not in love with her. He must have just grabbed the first girl he met so that he could get his face onto the news. That’s a PR stunt you’re witnessing. You’ve had a lucky escape.’

She smiled at him, calm and seemingly untroubled.

‘You may be right. He replaced me easily, didn’t he? At any rate it’s all over now. As far as I’m concerned Dan never existed. Goodnight.’

She retreated into the bedroom, leaving Jackson wishing he could believe that she was really recovering so easily. But his heart told him she was only putting on a brave face.

Before going to bed he listened outside her door and heard something that made him clench his hands in agony. From inside came the sound of gasping sobs, telling all too clearly of the grief Freya could only release when she was alone.

Unable to endure it, he opened the door, ready to go in, take her in his arms and comfort her. But wisdom held him back. She wouldn’t be glad of his comfort. She would hate it, wanting no curious eyes.

He backed out and closed the door, knowing that he wasn’t wanted.

* * *

Freya awoke early the next morning. Briefly she wondered where she was, then remembered and groaned. Creeping out of the room, she searched for Jackson on the sofa, but it was empty except for a scrap of paper that read, I’ll be back soon. Don’t go away.

She thought of the hotel, where the family was staying, and knew she should return to them, but the thought made her shudder.

If only Jackson were here. She’d always considered herself a strong person, but suddenly it seemed terrible to be alone.

‘That’s his fault for supporting me so well,’ she muttered wryly. ‘Now I can’t cope without him. All his fault. Oh, where is he?’

It was an hour before he returned and it seemed like for ever.

‘I’ve been to the hotel,’ he said, dumping a large suitcase on the table. ‘I took the wedding dress with me and your mother’s going to pack it away for you. She gave me some clothes to bring you.’

Her wedding dress had been hanging up in the bedroom, which meant he must have crept in and removed it while she was asleep. Then her attention was taken by the clothes she found in the case.

‘Why did you bring this?’ she asked, lifting a glittering cocktail dress.

‘You can wear it tonight, when we go out.’

‘Are we going out?’

‘Yes. I’ll take you back to your hotel at the end of the evening, but before that we need to give Dan a taste of his own medicine. He flaunted himself before the cameras, so you have to do the same. Then everyone will know you don’t give a stuff about him.’

‘Don’t I?’

‘No, you don’t. You mustn’t. I know what I’m doing, Freya. Trust me.’

‘I do,’ she said.

‘But you think I’m giving you orders again, don’t you? Laying down the law, acting like my father?’

‘No, he never takes so much trouble about people’s feelings,’ she said. ‘I don’t mind taking a few orders from you.’

‘What was that? Did I hear you right? My bolshie Freya being meek and mild? I don’t believe it.’

‘I can do meek and mild if there’s a good reason.’ She managed a smile. ‘I can even say, Yes, sir. No, sir. Three bags full, sir.’

‘This I have to see,’ he said dramatically. ‘It’ll be a whole new experience.’ Then abruptly he dropped the humorous manner. ‘Don’t worry. I just mean to look after you.’ He took her face between his hands. ‘That’s all that matters now. Please believe me.’

‘I do,’ she said. ‘It’s strange how content I feel to leave everything in your hands. I didn’t know it before, but there’s nobody I trust like you.’

To her surprise Jackson looked uneasy, but she thought she understood. He was more used to her sparring with him than trusting him. But now those days seemed a long way off.