Читать книгу Aftermath - Lynda J. King - Страница 4

Kate lay on the ER bed feeling them remove her jeans and watching them look at the wounds in what she used to think of as her private parts. They certainly were not private any more, she thought bitterly. A female nurse was very gently cleaning away the blood between her legs while a male doctor assessed the damage. The thought of a man looking at her raised bile into her throat.

“How long have you been bleeding like this?” Dr. David Austin asked. A tall, blond man in his late twenties, he was serving his residency at this Army hospital. Later he planned to open a family practice in his home town, Wichita. He hadn’t ever seen a woman in this condition here before, and he probably hoped he’d never see one in Wichita, either.

“I don’t know,” Kate answered. “I couldn’t keep track of time.” She tried to think of a plausible answer. “Maybe three days? Two days?”

Austin didn’t understand. Nobody had told him where she’d been or how she’d been injured. In any case, with these injuries, if it had really been two or three days, she must have lost a lot of blood.

“There’s a baby,” she said softly, embarrassed.

The doctor did a double take. “You’re pregnant?” he asked in disbelief.

She nodded, unwilling to talk about it.

Austin shook his head. This case was getting more complicated by the minute.

“Anything else you need to tell me?” he asked curtly, trying to hide his uncertainty.

Kate detected his tone and took it for annoyance.

“There are cuts,” she said defiantly, pointing to a place slightly below her breasts. “My back is hurt, too.”

In their rush to treat her lower body injuries, they had not yet removed her t-shirt. Now the nurse cut it away to reveal two angry wounds forming the letter H near her breasts that oozed with infection. Next the nurse lifted her up, and she and Austin studied Kate’s back. Their eyes met, both shocked. It was a mess, very red with deep welts crisscrossing over her shoulder blades. While the nurse held her up, Austin did a preliminary treatment on the welts; then the nurse lowered her down as gently as possible. They turned to the other wounds.

As he was working, Austin studied the woman’s face. Her eyes were closed, her brow was furrowed in pain, and she was clearly struggling to control her breathing. The sight brought him up cold.

“What’s your name?” he asked sympathetically.

“Kate Taylor,” she said firmly. “Dr. Kate Taylor.”

“Can I call you Kate?”

She didn’t like strangers using her first name. However, she reminded herself with a purse of her lips, given what he was looking at, this man was hardly a stranger anymore.

“Yes,” she finally acquiesced. “What’s your name?”

“Dr. Austin.”

Kate didn’t ask if she could call HIM by his first name, too tired for her normal sarcasm.

“Kate, can you tell me what happened? It will help us determine how to treat you and the baby.”

The last thing Kate wanted to do was to relate to this man the details of the abuse the other men had put her through. She didn’t want to talk to him about the baby, either. But she knew she had to try.

“I…,” she started, pushing herself. “They…. I was in a Stasi prison…. They….” No, I can’t do it; I won’t do it, she told herself. She could feel tears stinging her eyes, and her lips were trembling. She didn’t want to cry, and she especially didn’t want HIM, a man, to see her cry. For all that she knew he wasn’t one of THEM, she simply couldn’t help herself.

The nurse was watching Kate intently. Catching the young doctor’s eye, she shook her head and indicated to him that she wanted to talk, out of Kate’s hearing. Austin reluctantly moved toward the door. Kate was infinitely relieved.

“What, Janice?” Austin said, displeasure written on his face.

Captain Janice Landauer bristled. He was DOCTOR Austin, but she was JANICE, even though she was older and far more experienced than him.

“Dr. Austin, let me talk to her. It’s clear she’s been abused, raped, who knows what else, by men. She doesn’t want to talk to another man about it.”

“But I’m her doctor, not one of the….”

The nurse held up her hand to stop him. “I KNOW that. She knows it, too. But believe me, Dr. Austin. I’ve seen it before. She doesn’t want to talk to ANY man about it right now.” After pausing to let her words sink in, she went on: “Let me talk to her first.”

Austin hesitated, then agreed and walked out of the room.

Janice watched him go. She shook her head and returned to Kate’s bedside.

“Hello, Kate. I’m Janice, Captain Janice Landauer. I’m so very sorry for all you’ve been through. We’re going to take good care of you,” she began reassuringly.

Kate didn’t say anything.

Janice went on: “Dr. Austin asked you what happened, and I know you didn’t want to tell him. I understand completely. Men did this to you, and then another man…. Well, sometimes it’s just too hard, isn’t it?”

Touched by the understanding in her voice, Kate opened her eyes to look into the woman’s face. She was probably Kate’s own age, tall, slender, with blond hair that was pulled back and pinned at her neck. Even in her uniform she was very attractive. But her eyes! Her eyes were the most beautiful, gentle, warm brown eyes Kate had ever seen. They enveloped her, inviting her to a different place where pain and fear receded and quiet calm reigned. In that place Kate could allow herself to relax, to let her guard down.

“It hurts so much,” Kate said in a small voice.

Janice nodded. “Yes. They did terrible things to you, Kate.”

“Oh, my God, I…. They…,” she stopped. She couldn’t even tell this woman about it.

“Look, Kate, you don’t have to tell anyone the details. Don’t ever let them push you to do anything you don’t want to do,” Janice said fiercely.

“What…what do you need to know? To take care of me…me and the baby, I mean?” Kate asked timidly, not knowing if she could do it but willing to try.

“Why don’t you just tell me what you can? Let’s start there.”

“First, can I…? Can I have something for the pain?” Tears were coming now. It was so good to be able to cry without worrying who might hear.

“I know it hurts. But it’s hard. There’s the baby to consider.”

The BABY, Kate thought resentfully. Did she love it, Kate wondered? Did she hate it and want it gone? What was she supposed to feel? Now it was prolonging the pain. If it weren’t there, they could ease the pain. But she didn’t have that choice.

“I guess I can take it a little longer.”

For the next fifteen minutes, she told Janice the story, leaving out the details she couldn’t bring herself to put into words. Austin paced outside, impatient to know what was going on, but Janice signaled him through the window to keep out. Finally Kate couldn’t go on anymore, and she fell silent.

“Kate, can I tell Dr. Austin about it? Is there anything you don’t want me to tell him?”

“No. I mean, it’s OK to tell him. But…,”

“Yes?”

“Is there a woman doctor who can treat me? Please? I just can’t…. I mean, I don’t want him to touch me any more than necessary. Please!” Her tone verged on desperation.

“I don’t know. I’ll try. It might take a while to find a woman, and you need treatment now. Can Dr. Austin start?”

The thought of another man touching her down there was so revolting that Kate thought she would gag. But she had no choice, did she? No choice, again. A few minutes ago she thought she was getting her life back, but it wasn’t happening, not yet.

Kate nodded, her lips a thin line. Janice left to speak to Austin. She related Kate’s story to the young doctor and told him she wanted a female physician. Austin’s face darkened at the request, but after a moment he shrugged, accepting the request.

“Okay, I guess she needs an OB/GYN anyway. We’ve got an agreement with a local German doctor. I’ll get in touch with her after I do the initial exam. For now, let’s get started.”

When they returned, Kate lay back and tried not to feel what Austin was doing. Instead, she concentrated on being out of the prison; on having a clean bed; on having food; on clean clothes; on seeing the sun; on knowing when it was day and when it was night; and especially on being released from the constant fear and pain. It still hurt now, but it would soon have an end.

Eventually the bleeding had been halted, the knife wounds and welts bandaged, and they had set up an IV to start the flow of fluids and medications her weakened body needed. When it was time to tell her the prognosis, Austin stood on one side of the bed, and Janice stood on the other. Although Austin spoke, Kate watched Janice, seeking and finding comfort in her brown eyes.

“Kate, there are several things we have to talk about. The cuts are already infected, and they’ve been treated. You know that the injuries to your genital area are extensive. Infection is a major danger. You’re going to need surgery.”

Kate had expected this. It was the rest she didn’t know about.

“Now, the baby. You’re anemic, you’re weak from loss of blood, you’re very underweight, your wounds are infected, and you’re forty-two years old. There are probably other risk factors we don’t know about yet. I’m sure you realize that none of this bodes well for a healthy pregnancy.”

Kate closed her eyes. She still didn’t know if she wanted the baby. Was he telling her that the baby would not be viable? Did she care? She was hopelessly confused. When she opened her eyes again, Austin was speaking.

“Before we do the surgery, we’ll perform an ultrasound on the baby to assess its viability. Then we can decide where to go next.”

Kate asked Austin: “What are the possibilities, on the ultrasound, I mean?”

“If the fetus is well developed and an acceptable size, and everything else looks good, we can try to go ahead with the pregnancy, if you want. The other option is, well…. Do you know when you conceived? If you’re still in the first trimester, we can abort the fetus during surgery.”

No, absolutely no, no abortion, Kate thought immediately, a reaction that befuddled her. Why in the world did she…? They were watching her, waiting for an answer about when she conceived, leaving her no time to consider her emotions. Damn, Kate swore to herself. How am I supposed to figure out when it happened? It has something to do with when my periods stopped but what exactly?

“How do I…?” She was embarrassed to admit she knew so little about being a woman.

Janice rescued her. “Usually we date it at two weeks after the end of your last period.”

She looked gratefully at Janice and then tried to reckon. She had been imprisoned in almost total darkness. There had been no day and no night, and she had lost the ability to differentiate one day from the next. She didn’t know exactly when her periods had stopped, but she could remember that she’d had two periods in the prison. It was hard to forget how awful that had been, having periods in her cell.

“What day is it?”

“Friday,” Austin said.

“No, no, what is the DATE?” she asked impatiently.

“July 10.”

She had been arrested on January 6, she knew that. Six months ago. Her first period must have started a few weeks later, say around February 1. If the second was around March 1, then March 6 was…. She reckoned. It must have been about the third week of March.

“Maybe four months ago?”

Austin frowned.

“Kate, that is into the second trimester, late for an abortion, but in my opinion, an abortion would be best for you and the baby.” He spoke as if it were a given that Kate would want an abortion, considering how the baby had been conceived.

Observing the stricken look on Kate’s face, Janice said: “Why don’t we wait until we know more?” Placing her hand on Kate’s arm, she told her: “Kate, you don’t have to make any decisions now. And any decision is YOURS, not Dr. Austin’s or anybody else’s.”

Again drawn into the comforting blanket of Janice’s warm brown eyes, Kate nodded, once more very grateful for her intervention. Janice held Kate’s gaze a little longer than might have been expected. Each wondered for a moment who the other truly was.

The moment passed as an oblivious Austin said: “We’ve got to do the surgery as soon as possible, so we’ll do the ultrasound in the next hour.”

For a reason she didn’t understand, the ultrasound frightened Kate much more than the surgery, even though she’d never had surgery before. In fact, she’d never been in a hospital for longer than a few hours.

“Good,” she said with conviction.“But who’s going to do the surgery? Is there a specialist here?”

“We have a local German specialist. I’ll contact her while the ultrasound technician is setting up the test.”

“Anything else?” Janice asked Kate.

“Could I have something for the pain, please?”

“All I can give you is Tylenol,” Austin said. “We have to be very careful with the baby. After we see how it’s doing, we can determine what pain medication to use. I’m sorry.” He left to take care of Kate’s test.

Damn baby, Kate swore to herself. But wait, she admonished herself. A minute ago I was thinking that I would refuse to let them abort it. What the hell is going on with me? My mind is all snarled up.

Janice had other tasks to take care of, but she decided to stay with Kate for a while, sensing how much she needed support. Gazing down at her, she noticed that Kate’s hair had fallen into her eyes. Janice reached out and gently pushed a few strands back. Kate smiled at her touch. Janice longed to touch her cheek but decided it was better not to.

After a few minutes of silence Kate asked: “Do you have any children, Janice?”

“Yes, a boy and a girl, Jason and Megan.They’re both in college now. Hard to believe they’re that old already,” she said with a sigh.

“Before your first one, how did you feel?” Kate had no idea how pregnant women were supposed to feel.

“Feel? God, I felt every emotion in the book. Happy, sad, angry, glad, insecure, worried, ecstatic…and that only starts to cover it,” she laughed. “You’ve never had a baby, have you?”

“No. And I don’t think I want one now, either. Especially THIS one,” she said bitterly.

“Oh?” Janice said with a touch of irony in her voice. “I saw how you looked when Dr. Austin suggested the abortion.”

Kate shrugged and nodded slightly.

Janice continued: “Are you wondering how can you not want it and want it at the same time?”

“Yes, I am.” Kate was thankful that someone understood.

“Well, your circumstances are different than most women’s, so I can’t say that what you’re feeling is normal, can I? But every pregnant woman has many conflicting emotions. That IS normal, believe me.”

Kate reached out and took Janice’s hand. Janice knew why. She would hold Kate’s hand as long as the other woman wanted.

Outside Austin had arranged for the ultrasound test and was about to contact his German colleague when Holder approached him. He had been pacing the hallway, waiting irritably for word on Kate’s condition.

“Doctor, how is she?” he demanded.

“That’s confidential, sir.”

“No, it is not. She’s one of my operatives, and I have the right to know everything about her. Now, tell me,” Holder said sharply, commanding obedience.

Austin wasn’t sure about these rules, but he accepted that this man WAS sure. “She’s in bad shape. She was severely injured. There is some infection. She’s anemic and grossly underweight. It seems like they never gave her enough to eat, or maybe she couldn’t eat because of the pregnancy.”

Holder had been checking off the conditions in his mind, but the last one…. He was stunned. “Wait, her WHAT? She’s pregnant?”

“She didn’t tell you? Yes, she’s pregnant.”

“How long?”

“About four months, give or take.”

“So it couldn’t be…?”

“No, it happened in the prison.”

Damn, Holder swore to himself. He thought again about how long she had been in the Stasi prison. What must she have gone through? Kate Taylor was a very good agent, but she was also a loner who kept herself to herself. In fact, he didn’t remember even a hint of her and a man. Her treatment in the prison must have been…. Well, it must have been torture, exactly as they planned.

Switching to a topic he was more comfortable with, he asked himself grimly how the other side had dared treating one of his people this way? He would not forget; down the road, someone would pay.

“What’s the plan?” Holder asked the young doctor.

Austin explained about the ultrasound and the surgery.

“Who’s doing the surgery?”

“We have a local doctor on call. I’m going to….”

“Forget it. I’ll get a specialist in from Landstuhl.”

“But….”

“Listen to me, doc! She’s my operative. I’ll take care of it.” Holder was adamant.

Austin gaped, then sucked in a breath and capitulated. “Sure, fine. I’ll get the ultrasound started.”

Holder was already headed to the phone to call Dr. Margaret Fremont at the large US Army Regional Medical Facility at Landstuhl, in the American zone of West Germany. Maggie was an old friend of Holder’s. Actually, maybe not a friend. He was sure she didn’t like him much. But he knew she’d help. After a few phone misdirections, he got Maggie on the line.

“Holder, I’m busy. What do you want?” she barked at him.

“I need you here in Berlin….”

Irritated, Fremont began: “Impossible, Holder. I’m….”

“Maggie, you’re coming to Berlin. One of my operatives needs surgery, and you’re the one to do it.” For him there was no other option.

“Come on. There must be someone else. I’m an OB/GYN!” Fremont said, incredulity clear in her voice.

“Look. Kathryn Taylor has been in an East German prison for the last six months. They hurt her really badly. She’s pregnant. She needs the BEST treatment. That’s you, Maggie.”

Fremont sighed. “Oh, for God’s sake, Holder! I can’t exactly say no, can I? Who’s treating her there?”

“Young doctor named Austin.”

“Let me talk to him.”

Austin was at the nurses’ station conferring with the ultrasound technician. Holder waved him over. Austin took the receiver and briefed Fremont on Taylor’s condition and his treatment plan. In answer to his question, Fremont okayed a low dose of Demerol for her pain. After she told him she’d be there later in the afternoon, Austin handed the phone back to Holder.

On her end Fremont had listened carefully, appalled at what Austin reported and certain that the woman needed her immediately. “Holder, it’s 2:00 now. I can probably get there by about 5:00. Be at Tempelhof at 5:00.”

“Sounds good. I’ll see you then. And Maggie, thanks.”

“You owe me one, Holder,” Fremont said, just to keep the record straight.

“Right.”