Читать книгу Hidden Legacy - Lynn Huggins Blackburn - Страница 16

FIVE

At 1:00 p.m., Jason loaded Caroline and Henry into his car.

“Where’d you get the car seat?” Caroline strapped Henry in with practiced moves.

“Michael. He brought it from your house.”

Caroline didn’t respond. Had he upset her? “He was still there, so I asked him to grab it so we could get the little guy home.” He pointed to a bag in the backseat. “He grabbed a bunch of clothes and diapers, too.”

“That was very thoughtful.” She laughed, a harsh sound with no humor in it. “To think that this time yesterday my biggest worry was if I’d allocated enough to the college fund I set up for this little guy.” He saw the muscles in her jaw working overtime. “And now, I’m praying I can keep him alive until his second birthday.” Her voice cracked on the last word, but when she looked up at him, no tears had broken free. She closed Henry’s door. “You ready?”

“Almost.”

He opened the passenger door for her. “There’s one thing I’ve learned from combat.” Her eyes filled with curiosity and concern. “You can’t keep anyone alive.”

She slumped in defeat and slid into the seat. He closed the door and leaned into the open window. “I’m not saying we don’t do everything we can, but you have to let go of this feeling of accountability. You couldn’t have kept Stephanie alive, and ultimately you can’t keep Henry alive. Or yourself. Or me. Or anyone else you care about.”

“Is this little speech supposed to be making me feel better? ’Cause it’s not working.”

He gripped the door. “It is supposed to help, actually. We can walk confidently into the next day, not because we’ve figured everything out and have thwarted the bad guys, but because we know the One who knows what they are up to. We walk confidently because we know He will help us.”

Caroline looked away from him and spoke, so low he barely heard the words. “He didn’t help Stephanie.”

Ouch. A little help here, Father?

He walked around to the driver’s seat and took his time buckling in. She continued to stare out the window as they pulled away from the curb.

“I lost friends in Afghanistan.”

Her head whipped back to him. “I’m sorry.”

The things this woman could make him do. He didn’t talk about Afghanistan. Ever. But here he was talking about his darkest times. “When you head out on a patrol and you don’t know if you’ll be back for dinner, you have to dig deep to find the strength to follow orders and do your job. But when your friends don’t make it home for dinner, you have to look outside of yourself to find any meaning in it.”

Caroline sat ramrod straight beside him. He could barely tell if she was breathing.

“While God is Sovereign, we also live in a fallen world. One where wars happen. Where evil men come after babies.” He couldn’t keep the disgust from his voice. “We have to trust He is working all things for ultimate good.”

Even as he said the words, his mind flashed to his dad. The grim future he faced with grace, dignity and undaunted faith.

“I don’t know why God allowed any of this. For Steph to fall in love with a guy who apparently got mixed up in some shady stuff. For her to get pregnant and leave the guy. For her to die. For her to leave you her baby. And now for someone to want either you or Henry, or both of you, out of the picture.”

Caroline took an audible breath but didn’t interrupt him as he continued.

“I do know He’s not confused or surprised, and He will help us.”

“I want to believe that,” she said. “I really do.”

He reached over, palm up. Would she take it?

She stared at his hand for a few moments, then laced her fingers through his. A long-dormant piece of his heart started throbbing. “I’ll believe for both of us until you get there.”

She squeezed his hand and turned to stare out the window. He assumed she didn’t want him to see her face. Which was fine. He still had her hand in his, and he kept it until they pulled into his parents’ driveway.

His mom was waiting for them, wearing a grin that stretched from one end of the front porch to the other. She bounded down the two steps and had Caroline wrapped in a bear hug before he could get around the car.

“Sweet girl, let’s get you and your precious one inside. There’s a bite in the air.”

Caroline laughed. “Mama Drake, you would say there’s a bite in the air if it was seventy degrees outside.”

Caroline had Henry out of the car seat, and his mom grabbed him. “There’s my handsome man. Henry, you’ve put on at least five pounds since you were here last. Let’s get you some cookies so we can keep those numbers going!”

Jason trailed behind his mom and Caroline. His dad leaned against the porch rail, watching the procession. Their eyes met and he knew what his dad was thinking.

Could feel his mom’s joy.

They’d always loved Caroline. Always dreamed of the day he’d bring her home as so much more than a friend.

Pretty sure they’d never imagined the time he’d bring her home along with her baby as the victims of a crime in need of protective custody.

But looking at the two of them—his mom cooing and his dad helping Henry give him a little fist bump—he wondered if they cared what the circumstances were.

She was here.

He was here.

For now.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Caroline left Henry in Mama Drake’s capable hands and stepped onto the back deck. A tiny, screened room where at any time Mama Drake might have a pie cooling, a pitcher of tea that wouldn’t fit in the fridge, or even a slow cooker bubbling with her famous mac and cheese.

Today, a pound cake tempted her from a pretty plate, and Caroline snagged a slice.

Jason had always been embarrassed about his home. Starting in middle school, he always wanted to go to her house instead of having her come to his. He’d started apologizing about the lack of channels on the TV or the lack of options in the kitchen.

Caroline wasn’t so naive not to understand why. No, the Drakes weren’t as well-off as her parents. But it hadn’t mattered to her ever. The Drakes’ home was always warm and welcoming, and while Caroline loved the sprawling home she’d grown up in, there was a coziness about the Drakes’ tightly grouped rooms that couldn’t be duplicated in five thousand square feet.

Jason hadn’t seen it that way. He’d make little comments about money or status. If she dared to indicate that those things weren’t important, he’d ask her how often she’d tried to live without them.

She’d refused to apologize for the life she’d been born into. They weren’t wealthy by national standards, but they had more than most. Her parents had always stressed how fortunate they were compared with the majority of the people on the planet. She’d been trained to be thankful, and to feel a sense of responsibility to help those less fortunate.

But she’d never seen Jason as less fortunate. Their homes hadn’t been similar in size, but they’d been similar in environment. He had two parents who loved him. Granted, there were plenty of problems with his birth father, but after his mom met Papa Drake, he’d always had a warm, clean home filled with light and laughter. A home she’d always been welcomed in. A place she’d never felt like she had to perform or pretend in. She didn’t blame Jason for wanting more, but she wished he could see how much of what truly mattered was already here.

Caroline leaned against a porch support and closed her eyes. She had to pull it together. Had to find a way to make some sense of this mess. Someone wanted her dead. Why? How could she protect herself and her son?

“You okay?”

She turned at Jason’s words and found him watching her through the open kitchen door.

“I didn’t hear you.”

“I know.”

“How long have you been there?”

“Long enough to see you swipe my dessert.”

She laughed. “There’s plenty more.”

He joined her in the small space. “What’s on your mind?”

She stepped toward him and caught herself. What was she doing? This was a bad idea. She could not let herself get emotionally entangled. Not with anyone, but especially not with Jason Drake. She’d gone down that path.

She knew how it ended.

She knew how much it hurt.

Caroline rocked back on her heels. “Just trying to figure out what’s going on.”

Jason stared out over the backyard. “Me, too. I need to head out for a little while.”

“You’ve been with me all day. I’m sure you have other responsibilities, other cases you need to be working on. Go. You don’t have to babysit—”

“I’m not babysitting you.” His face darkened. “I’m doing my job. You’re a citizen of this community, which I have sworn to protect, and someone is trying to kill you. It is, in fact, my job to be sure that doesn’t happen.”

He was right, of course. She tried to keep her expression neutral. “I understand, and I appreciate that.”

He stepped closer, and when she tried to back up, she slammed into a porch column. “Ow.” She rubbed the back of her head.

Jason didn’t back up or give her the space she’d been seeking. “Are you okay?”

She nodded, avoiding eye contact. But he didn’t allow that, cupping his hand under her chin and tilting it up until their eyes met.

“It’s my job to protect you, but it’s also my privilege. I’d be doing it whether I had the badge to make it official or not.” His eyes flashed with intensity as he spoke. “I need to check on a few things and run by the office to get some files that might help us figure out what’s going on.”

“Okay.” She didn’t trust herself to try to say anything else.

“Try not to worry. Mom’s thrilled you’re here. Dad’s on alert. There are uniformed officers patrolling the perimeter of the property. I’ll be back before you know it.”

He stared into her eyes longer than she wanted him to. Her heartbeat pulsed in her ears. One of his eyebrows ticked up, and she had to wonder if in the silence of the porch, he could hear it.

She needed to get a grip. This wasn’t high school. He wasn’t the best friend she wanted to be more. Given their history, she’d trust him to protect every part of her.

Except her heart.

He stepped back, breaking the moment. He winked and turned back to the house.

She heard him speak to his mom, then his dad.

Then...Henry?

Jason’s fondness for Henry was a surprise. He’d never been a big fan of kids, and he’d always said he’d never have any of his own. Said he wouldn’t risk being the kind of father his own birth father was.

She doubted that had changed.

He was being kind to Henry because he was a kind man, but that didn’t mean he wanted children. Just like he didn’t want to live in North Carolina.

She’d built her whole life around her home, her family, her community—and now, her son. She couldn’t let herself forget that it was the kind of life Jason didn’t want. Then, now or ever.