Читать книгу Bad Girls with Perfect Faces - Lynn Weingarten - Страница 17

July 21 11:24 p.m.

JakeJones1717:

Well, having scrolled through your Instagram photos, I’ve come to the conclusion that if there’s an infinite number of parallel worlds, there’s at least one in which you and I are already best friends

JakeJones1717:

oops, sorry. That was a typo

JakeJones1717:

I meant fucking

July 21 11:35 p.m.

TwistedTree16:

In how many of the infinite worlds do you think I just punched you in the balls?

JakeJones1717:

92300329 where I deserved it. 3 where I didn’t

TwistedTree16:

TWO WHERE YOU DIDN’T

JakeJones1717:

Fair.

TwistedTree16:

But in those 2 you probably liked it, I can tell your type. Perv

JakeJones1717:

Okay, but seriously I’m not actually a creepy perv. Just messing around on here and I guess if we’re being totally honest, looking for cute girls to talk to because everyone I know in actual life is boring as hell

JakeJones1717:

I like your pics, your dog is really fluffy. What’s her name?

TwistedTree16:

Dog talk is boring. Maybe YOURE as boring as the people you know. I liked perv you better

JakeJones1717:

If you want perv, I can do perv

TwistedTree16:

I just said I liked it BETTER than boring dog talk

JakeJones1717:

Okay fair. What do YOU want to talk about?

TwistedTree16:

You wrote me first. I might not want to talk about anything

JakeJones1717:

But you’re answering me aren’t you . . .

TwistedTree16:

Maybe I’M just bored

JakeJones1717:

Okay, good point. In another one of those worlds we are having this exact conversation, but it’s going better

JakeJones1717:

Can we try again?

TwistedTree16:

If there’s an infinite number of parallel worlds, there’s one in which you and I are already fucking

TwistedTree16:

oops, sorry. That was a typo

TwistedTree16:

I meant “dead”

JakeJones1717:

I think you probably meant *in love*

July 22 10:13 a.m.

JakeJones1717:

In how many of the parallel worlds am I as hungover as I am in this one, do you think? Serious question

TwistedTree16:

Maybe like 4

JakeJones1717

Oh god . . . that’s not many if we’re talking about infinity. Though it is impossible to imagine anyone more hungover than I am right now . . . so maybe 4 is good?

TwistedTree16:

If it makes you feel any better, in like 6 you just died of alcohol poisoning

JakeJones1717:

Dark. At least those other Jakes are out of their misery

TwistedTree16:

Parallel worlds are no kinder than this one

JakeJones1717:

I’m going to go try and flush my own head down the toilet now

TwistedTree16:

Are you trying to talk dirty to me?

TwistedTree16:

But really . . . let me know how it goes. Most people who show up in my DMs are dumb boring idiots. You seem fun

JakeJones1717:

Awww, are you flirting with me, Twisted?

TwistedTree16:

Well I’m not NOT not not NOT NOT not not flirting with you. If you see what I’m saying

JakeJones1717:

Oh god. That is really confusing

JakeJones1717:

Hey . . . so I don’t mean to be presumptuous or anything, but can I have your number? Maybe I’ll text you sometime . . . and when I do I WILL be flirting

TwistedTree16:

_ _ _ -_ _ _ - _ _ _ _

JakeJones1717:

What’s that?

TwistedTree16:

Have you ever played hangman?

JakeJones1717:

Yeah . . .

TwistedTree16:

That’s hangman for my phone number, if you guess it, you can text me . . .

JakeJones1717:

Are there any A’s?

TwistedTree16:

It’s a phone NUMBER?

JakeJones1717:

I stand by my question . . .

JakeJones1717:

*s??

TwistedTree16:

Oh my god. Okay. 914-555-7278. That either IS or IS NOT my phone number. Text it and find out