Читать книгу Six Hot Single Dads - Lynne Marshall - Страница 25

Seventeen

Monday morning had arrived and Ashley couldn’t have been any more sad and conflicted. Her heart felt as though it weighed five hundred pounds. Today was the day she got her apartment back, the day the real cleanup would start, the day her new builder would set in motion the thing that had brought her and Marcus together. She now worried it might tear them apart.

Today was supposed to be a sign of setting things back on the right track, but she knew very well that pursuing things with her apartment was wrong. She belonged with Marcus and Lila. But she’d also put down a ten-thousand-dollar deposit with her new builder. That was an awful lot of money to walk away from when everything was still so new with Marcus. Considering everything she’d come from, and everything her parents counted on her for, she couldn’t say that it didn’t matter. It did matter. A lot.

All day Sunday, she’d waited for Marcus to insert his opinion on the matter. He was never shy with what he wanted. So where did that leave her? They’d had a wonderful day yesterday, and she really hadn’t wanted to ruin it. Now she wished she’d provoked it out of him.

Marcus came into the kitchen and blew out a breath, Lila in his arms. “The nanny just called, and her mother had a gall bladder attack. She’s on her way to the hospital right now. Her mother might have to have surgery.”

Ashley covered her mouth. “That’s awful. Is she going to be okay?”

“They think so, but needless to say, I don’t have a backup plan for Lila today. Joanna and I both have a full schedule.”

“I’ll be home all day dealing with the contractor and the apartment, but I’m used to multi-tasking. I’ll take her.” Ashley reached for Lila. This time the little girl actually went to her. That felt like a major victory.

“Are you sure? It’s a big responsibility and you already have a lot on your plate.”

She blew out an exasperated breath. “I’ll carry her when I need to be next door and we’ll otherwise be here. I’ll find a way to make it work.” She couldn’t believe she was selling Marcus on the idea that she could handle it. “And didn’t you say that you wanted Lila and me to spend as much time together as possible? We’ll do great. Go to work.”

“So, starting up with the new builder today. That’s a big step.”

Ashley glanced at the clock. It was eight thirty. He had to leave for the office any minute. Why did he bring this up now when he could have staged a protest yesterday? “It is a big step. Do you care to weigh in on this big step?”

He considered her, his eyes sweeping across her face. “I don’t want to talk you into anything. That’s been my biggest downfall in the past. I’m not about to repeat that mistake.”

“What if I give you a free pass? I’d like to know what you’re thinking.” Please. Please let me know what you’re thinking.

“I’m not about to make you nervous or skittish about anything. I’m not going to pressure you. You make the right decision for you, and I’ll learn to live with it. I just want you to remember one thing.”

“What’s that?”

He took her hand. “I love you.”

Those words felt like code for fire your contractor. “I love you, too, but I really just wish you’d tell me what you want me to do. Do you want me to fire my builder? Put the project on hold?”

He sighed. “I’m serious. It might be difficult for me, but I need you to make this decision on your own.” He pecked her on the cheek. “I have to get to the office or I’ll be late.”

She took in a deep breath. Ten thousand dollars. “Okay. I’ll call you later.”

Marcus left for work, and the fire department handed over her apartment forty minutes later. A cleaning team started immediately after that, airing out the space and getting it ready for construction to begin again. These were all things that had to happen no matter what happened between Marcus and her, but it still felt wrong. Every minute of it felt wrong. Even with ten thousand dollars hanging in the balance, it all ate at her.

Ashley fed Lila a snack of yogurt and graham crackers. Then they emptied the toys out of the basket and put them back in for nearly an hour. These were the sorts of moments she’d worried about, whether Lila would feel comfortable with her, but it was going really well. It was going so well that Ashley knew she couldn’t use that as an excuse anymore. She and Lila would be fine if she could bring herself to take on the responsibility.

By two, it was time to meet with her builder. Ashley realized that it was probably a little past Lila’s naptime, and she did seem sleepy, so she put the little girl in her crib, turned on the baby monitor and went across the hall to her meeting.

Phil with Koch Construction was waiting for her out in the hall. “Ms. George. It’s nice to meet you. Why don’t we start by walking through the apartment, and you can tell me what was planned and what didn’t quite get done.”

Ashley let him in, and they toured her apartment, working around the cleaning crew who were a buzz of activity. The kitchen was a gut job. No question about that. In the rest of the apartment, most of the flooring would be fine, but the entire apartment would need new drywall. The smoke smell would never come out, not even with a fresh coat of paint. Phil made it clear that other builders might tell her otherwise, but the smoke smell always came back.

They went through the guest room and the powder room, eventually arriving back at Ashley’s bedroom. Lila fussed over the baby monitor. The meeting with the builder was important, but an unhappy Lila seemed urgent.

“Phil, I need to go get the baby.” She decided it was easier just to call Lila “the baby,” not to explain her tenuous arrangement with Marcus. She had to admit that she loved the way it sounded.

Phil shrugged. “You shouldn’t dote on a baby too much. They usually just cry themselves back to sleep.”

Cry themselves back to sleep. That sounded like hell on earth. One minute of Lila fussing and Ashley was ready to surrender. Sure, she was Jell-O. At least she knew this about herself. “Yeah, well, what can I say? I’m a wimp. I’ll be right back.”

She dashed across the hall and caught sight of Mr. Bunny as she ran through the living room. She grabbed him, then hurried into Lila’s room and scooped her out of the crib. “Are you okay?”

Lila cuddled up into her neck, and Ashley cuddled right back. How could she not? Lila accepted affection with no reservation and she gave it in the same way. It was a wonderful experience, even if Ashley had had only a small dose.

Lila shifted, and Ashley felt something wet on her arm. “Oh no. I forgot to change your diaper before your nap.” I’m such an idiot. She went through the drawers and got out a clean pair of leggings and the cutest top she could find. “I need to take you shopping. Your father does not have much of a girlish flair for fashion.” She handed Mr. Bunny to Lila so she could hold him while Ashley changed her diaper and clothes. She wasn’t the fastest in the world, but she’d get the hang of it. Eventually.

Lila on her hip, Ashley returned to Phil and the question of what should be done in the bedroom. The minute she walked through the door and saw the wall, the wall that was adjacent to Marcus’s room, it dawned on her exactly what she should do. She didn’t need to walk away from ten thousand dollars or from Marcus and Lila. What she really needed to do was have Phil knock down a wall.

* * *

Marcus’s cell phone rang. It was Ashley.

“Everything okay?”

“Actually, everything’s great. But I just met with the builder, and I’m wondering if you can come home early and look at something in my apartment.”

Something in her apartment? Was she finally going to do it? Crush him with the news that when left to her own devices, she would continue on the path she’d chosen months ago? “And this is important?”

“Yes. I think you’ll be happy with it. Just come home. I mean, come over to my side of home.”

His head was pounding on the cab ride home—part headache, part Ashley heartache. Could he really be so lucky that this worked out? Or had he let false hope consume him? He wanted to think he was beyond that by now, but he and Ashley had been through so many ups and downs. It wasn’t unreasonable to think there were more downs coming. In fact, it was only logical.

He knocked at her door, which she answered quickly, Lila on her hip. That one look confirmed what he’d hoped for—she was made to be a mom. There was no doubt in his mind about that. He kissed his two favorite people in the world, once again reminding himself to take a deep breath, to let things happen. If she was going to move forward with her apartment, they could always turn around and sell it once he proposed. If she said yes. The most important thing here was that he didn’t repeat his past mistakes. He wouldn’t push her into what she didn’t want.

“Come on,” Ashley said. “The thing I want to show you is in the bedroom.”

You mean the place you’ll be sleeping without me? “I thought your bedroom was done.” He came to a dead stop outside her room. He couldn’t take another step. He didn’t want to face what she was about to say. “If you’re going to hurt me, Ashley, just do it now. It just feels like you’re throwing your future in my face. This future you’re building for yourself, one that only includes me and Lila on the periphery. It’s not fair to us. And frankly, I don’t think it’s fair to you, either, because the truth is that we belong together. I’ve never been so sure of anything in my entire life.”

Ashley stood there, staring at him. “So now you tell me your opinion? Finally?” Lila was still in Ashley’s arms, playing with her hair.

“Yes. I tried to keep my opinion to myself and let you make your decision without any involvement from me, but I can’t do it. I could give you five hundred reasons why we shouldn’t be having this discussion, why you shouldn’t be telling me whatever fabulous idea you have for redoing your apartment.”

“And let me give you one reason why we should.” She curled her finger and bounced Lila on her hip, looking at his little girl. “Don’t you think Daddy should stop being such a grump and come with us into the bedroom?”

“Da,” Lila said, melting his heart. It really did kill him to see how adorable Ashley and Lila were together. If he was already going to be dead, whatever Ashley was about to tell him couldn’t kill him any more.

“Okay. Fine.” What had Ashley told him hundreds of times? To relax and enjoy himself? He failed to see where the enjoyable part was in this exercise, but he’d go.

“So, here’s what I talked about with the builder.” She marched to the far corner of her bedroom and smacked the wall. “We start here and we knock down the whole thing, all the way to the other side.”

He sputtered. “Ashley. My bedroom is on the other side of that wall. Where exactly would you presume I sleep during this phase of construction? And why in the world do you want to do that, anyway?”

“It would connect our two apartments. We’d use my bedroom and half of your bedroom and make a larger master bedroom. Then we could enlarge Lila’s room. She’s going to need more space than she has right now.”

His brain sputtered, stopping and starting. Once again, she managed to pull a scenario out of thin air. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying? You want to do this?”

“I do. I was standing here with the contractor after I’d put Lila down for a nap. I heard her on the baby monitor, and it felt like my heart was being torn out. I couldn’t listen to it for even a minute. The thing that had once seemed more important than anything was far less important than taking care of Lila.”

“I’m very familiar with that feeling. It’s heartbreaking and wonderful at the same time.”

“So I went and got her and changed her diaper. I think that was my mistake. I didn’t change her before I put her down for a nap.”

“You’ll learn these things. All new parents do.”

“I’m figuring that out.” She smiled, stepping toe-to-toe with him. “You know, I don’t like to do things I’m not sure I can be good at. But I realized that this is one thing that nobody ever gets perfect at. I made a mistake, but she was still fine. And she seems perfectly happy.”

“I’m looking at her face, and I can tell you that she’s more than perfectly happy.” He pulled them both into his arms, the two women he couldn’t live for even a day without. Ashley hadn’t left. She hadn’t tried to find a way to slow things down, even though that was her normal inclination. Instead, she’d pushed through it and found a new plan, a perfect plan. A perfect future.