Читать книгу Nyc Angels & Gold Coast Angels Collection - Lynne Marshall - Страница 53

DAN CALLED MOLLY a half-dozen times, but when she didn’t answer he hung up before her machine kicked in. He didn’t want to leave a message. After the way he’d been forced to leave earlier that morning, she deserved better than to hear him say “I’m thinking of you” on a machine.

Leaving her warm bed had been one of the hardest things he’d ever done. If not for Josh being home with Mitch, he would have stayed longer. The rest of the weekend, if she’d have let him.

He ran his hands over his hair and told himself Molly wouldn’t hold being a single father against him. After all, she loved kids. She understood that he’d needed to get home for Josh.

So why did he feel as if he’d let her down?

After he’d returned home, he’d caught another couple of hours of sleep before the rest of the household had gotten up. Once they’d eaten breakfast, Mitch had left to return home and he’d decided to celebrate the mild weather by taking Josh down to Central Park. They’d both used their wheelchairs, much to Josh’s amusement.

As much as he tried to spend quality father-and-son time with Josh, he’d often become distracted by thoughts of Molly. He couldn’t remember the last time a woman had dominated his thoughts.

Suzy didn’t count as she’d once dominated his thoughts in a bad way. Molly’s fresh laughter was the complete antithesis of Suzy’s bitterness.

Yet he was forced to admit that maybe some of his ex’s bitterness had been justified. He had worked a lot of hours. He could have spent more time with her. At the time he’d thought maybe he simply wasn’t capable of love.

But being with Molly and Josh proved that theory to be false. He loved Josh. And he cared deeply for Molly. He knew she cared, at least a little, about him, too.

Maybe he wasn’t so unlovable after all.

Once they’d returned home from Central Park, he spent some time working on Josh’s surprise birthday party, and he called Molly again.

This time she answered. “Hello?”

“Finally we get to talk,” he said. “I’ve been getting your machine most of the day.”

“Really? Why didn’t you leave a message?”

“Because I wanted to talk to you.” And now that he was talking to her, his nerves settled down. He took the phone into the other room, out of Josh’s hearing. “How are you? What have you been up to?”

“Had brunch with my parents, ran a few errands. The usual.”

Was it his imagination or did she seem to be a tiny bit standoffish? Was she upset with him? “I wish I could have stayed with you this morning,” he murmured. “I wish you were here right now.”

There was a moment of silence before she spoke again. “I’ve been thinking of you, too.”

The admission made him feel better. “I’d like to see you again. Soon.”

“You and Josh are coming to therapy in the morning, aren’t you?” she asked in a teasing tone.

“Yes. But what I meant is that I want to see you alone. Maybe we can do dinner one night this week?”

Another small silence and he wished she were here in front of him so he could read her facial expressions. He didn’t like having to second-guess her thoughts. “I don’t know if that will work. I generally try not to stay up too late on work nights.”

Was she really worried about getting up for work in the morning? Or was she trying to put distance between them? “How about Friday night, then? Josh’s party is on Saturday and it would be easier if you just stayed here overnight. You can sleep in the spare bedroom, if you’re worried about Josh being here.”

“Hmm, let me think about that,” she said evasively. “Speaking of Josh’s birthday, how is the party planning coming along?”

“Great.” He injected enthusiasm into his voice when really just the thought of being in charge of all those kids was as daunting as hell. “Most of the kids in his class have responded that they’re coming, which makes me feel better.”

“Oh, Dan, that’s great news.” Molly’s excitement was contagious. “Josh is going to have a wonderful time, you’ll see.”

“And he’ll owe it all to you for coming up with the idea.” He gripped the phone tighter and wished once again she was there with him. Especially when she laughed softly.

“No, you need to take the credit for having this party, not me. After all, you’re doing all the work.” There was a brief silence, and then she added, “I have to get going. See you tomorrow, Dan.”

“All right. See you tomorrow, Molly.” He disconnected the call, wondering how he was going to manage to wait until Friday night to be alone with her again.

Molly did her best to keep things on a professional level when she saw Josh and Dan the following morning. She was already too close to falling for him, and didn’t want to make the same mistakes she’d made in the past. But it wasn’t easy when Dan stood close, his arm lightly brushing hers.

She eased away, concentrating on Josh. “Wow, you’re doing very well, Josh. Look at how high you can kick your feet!”

Josh beamed. “We’ve been practicing, right, Dad?”

“Right,” Dan agreed.

She was glad, very glad that the two of them were so comfortable around each other now. A far cry from their first day of therapy, that’s for sure. She went through her list of warm-up games, and then decided it was time to move onto the next step.

“Okay, now we’re going to try to stand again,” she said, gesturing for Josh to follow her in his wheelchair over to the small platform nestled between parallel bars. “Are you ready, Freddie?”

Josh giggled, as she’d hoped he would. “I’m not Freddie,” he said, as he set the brakes on his wheelchair.

“Are you sure? Because you look like a Freddie.” She was proud at how bravely he faced the challenge of standing. His leg muscles were getting stronger, but they still had a way to go before he would be walking again.

Although there wasn’t any doubt in her mind that he would accomplish that task.

“Wait for me,” she said quickly, when Josh pushed up on the padded armrests of his wheelchair. His upper-arm strength had grown by leaps and bounds since Dan had agreed to let him use a wheelchair. “Steady now,” she warned, as he stood up on his own two feet.

Josh didn’t say anything, his face scrunched up with fierce concentration. She put her elbow under his armpit and took some of his weight.

“I can do it myself,” he said testily.

“Okay.” She eased back, allowing him to support his own weight but staying close by in case he lost his balance.

“Look, Dad,” Josh said excitedly when he managed to grip the parallel bars and balance between them. “I can stand!”

“You sure can, Josh,” Dan said in a husky voice. Molly didn’t dare take her eyes off Josh to look over at him, but she knew he had to be thrilled with Josh’s progress.

“How are your legs feeling?” she asked. His muscles were quivering beneath the strain, but he seemed determined to stay upright.

“Fine,” he claimed, although the quivering got worse.

She waited a full minute before stepping forward. “Okay, Josh, let’s have you sit back down, slow and easy.”

He didn’t argue this time, and soon he was seated once again in his wheelchair.

Dan came over and crouched beside Josh. “I’m so proud of you, Josh. Your hard work is really paying off. The way your leg muscles are getting stronger is nothing short of amazing.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Josh said, throwing his arms around his father’s neck and squeezing tightly.

Molly had to blink back tears, watching the way father and son clung to each other. And then Josh pulled back and glanced up at Molly. “Is it time for the massage yet?” he asked.

She had to laugh. “I suspect that’s your favorite part of the day,” she teased, as she headed over to the table set up near the ultrasound machine. “Either that or you just want to get through the rest of your therapy so that you can pick out a lollipop.”

“I’m betting it’s both,” Dan said with a broad smile.

As she started her massage Dan’s cell phone rang. He glanced at the screen, frowned and then glanced at her. “My colleague Marcus,” he said, before he left the room to take the call.

She wondered why Marcus was calling. Did he have a question about patient care? Did they often talk about their respective patients?

Dan was still on the phone when she finished with Josh’s massage and then moved on to the ultrasound treatments. She’d finished one leg and had started on the other when he finally returned, his expression grim.

“Problems?” she asked.

“Sort of. There’s apparently a particularly challenging patient who needs surgery,” he admitted.

She sensed he didn’t want to talk in front of Josh, so she refrained from asking more as she finished up the ultrasound treatments. “All finished,” she said cheerfully, as she put the machine away and began scraping the gel from Josh’s legs. “Are you ready for a lollipop?”

Josh nodded and then contemplated the flavors left in the candy jar. “Grape,” he said, pulling out the last one. He wasted no time in tearing off the purple wrapper and popping the candy in his mouth.

“Molly, do you have a minute?” Dan asked in a low voice.

“Sure.” She turned to Josh. “I’ll be right back, okay?”

Josh nodded, sucking on his lollipop with such force that his cheeks were sunk in, making him look like a fish.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, the moment they were alone.

“I need to return to work,” Dan said. “I was planning to be off this week, but unfortunately this patient can’t wait.”

She hid her dismay, knowing better than to ask for specifics. “Who will bring Josh to therapy?”

“Gemma, his nanny, or maybe Mitch.” Dan blew out a breath and shook his head. “You need to understand that I wouldn’t make a decision like this lightly. This patient needs my expertise, or I wouldn’t cut my leave of absence short.”

Deep down, she wanted to ask why Marcus couldn’t do the surgery, but she managed to hold her tongue. After all, what Dan chose to do wasn’t really her business.

One night together didn’t mean much in the big scheme of things.

“Just make sure you keep spending time with Josh,” she said lightly. “Because he needs a father as much as your patients need a top-notch surgeon.”

“I know. Watching him stand was amazing. After the accident …” He paused then cleared his throat before continuing, “I don’t know if I’d be able to forgive myself for that brief moment of inattentiveness just before the crash.”

“Oh, Dan, it’s not your fault,” she soothed, trying to make him understand. “Your car was T-boned because the other driver ran a red light.” She remembered reading about the crash in the newspaper. Scary stuff.

“Thanks for saying that,” he murmured. He stared at her for a long moment, as if he wanted to say something more, but then turned away. She followed him back to where Josh was already waiting for them in his wheelchair.

“Goodbye, Josh, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye, Molly.” Josh waved cheerfully, before following his father out of the door. She watched them leave, wondering what Josh’s reaction would be once he discovered his father was planning to return to work.

Her heart ached for him. And for herself.

Because she couldn’t help being afraid that once Dan was fully entrenched back in his old life, he’d revert back to his old ways. Being stern and serious, rather than taking the time to enjoy life. Yet he’d promised to maintain his relationship with his son, so she tried to take comfort in that thought.

Of course Josh would always come first. Which was the way it should be. And if he didn’t have time for her, then obviously a relationship between them wasn’t meant to be.

Dan went to the hospital early on Tuesday morning, and it seemed strange to walk through the lobby of Angel’s after being gone for so long. His long white coat flapped against his thighs as he quickened his pace to reach the elevator.

He hurried up to the labor and delivery unit, where a pregnant woman was about to give birth to a baby with tetralogy of Fallot, a birth defect in which the infant’s heart was essentially turned backward in its tiny chest. Normally this type of condition required surgery at some point during the baby’s first year of life, but in this instance the unborn baby had been diagnosed with an additional complication, hydroplastic pulmonary arteries, which required bypass surgery to assist in oxygenating the infant’s lungs. In years past these babies died, but now they could be operated on as soon as the infant was born and these children were now living well into their thirties and beyond.

The biggest catch was that the complex bypass procedure had to be started as soon as the baby was born or the child would die. And it was easily a ten- to twelve-hour procedure.

When he arrived in the labor and delivery suite, there was already a group of physicians and nurses filling the room. One of the nurses noticed him. “The cardiothoracic surgeon is here,” she announced.

“Good. Nice to see you again, Dan. If everyone is ready, let’s get this show on the road,” Rebecca Kramer said briskly, pushing forward the gurney with the pregnant mother.

Rebecca Kramer was one of the neonatology experts on staff at Angel’s and they’d worked together before, but there wasn’t time for small talk as Dan could tell by the fetal monitor tracing that the baby was in trouble. They’d planned this C-section early, and it was obviously a good thing as it seemed the baby would have been born today, regardless. He made several phone calls of his own, making sure the O.R. right next to the one that Rebecca would use was equipped with what he’d need for long, grueling open-heart surgery.

“I want to see my baby,” the pregnant woman sobbed, as they wheeled her into the O.R. suite. “I want to see her, to hold her in my arms before she has surgery.”

Dan was used to this request, and had to steel his heart against her pleading gaze. He glanced at her name on her hospital bracelet. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Thompson, but your baby girl won’t live if we wait,” he said gently. “Have you chosen a name for her yet?”

“Erica,” she said with a sob. “Erica Marie. After my husband, Eric. He’s stationed in Iraq. Are you sure we can’t wait for him? He’s on his way home, he promised to be here soon.”

“I’m sorry, but we can’t wait. The minute Erica is born we’re going to start surgery. The quicker we get started, the better her outcome will be. I’ve had a lot of success, so you and your husband just need to be patient, okay?”

She nodded, but tears continued to stream down her cheeks. “Okay.”

He scrubbed while they prepped the pregnant mother’s belly. Jennifer Thompson wanted to be awake during the C-section so the anesthesiologist topped up her epidural. There was a sense of urgency in both O.R. suites because there wasn’t a moment to waste. Lives were on the line and as always the staff of Angel’s took the care of their young patients very seriously.

He was gowned, gloved and masked when he heard the shout. “We have the baby out.”

“We’re ready,” he called back. And seconds later the neonatal team rushed in, with Rebecca holding the baby in her hands.

As they set the infant on the O.R. table, the anesthesiologist put a tiny breathing tube in place. As soon as the airway was secured, the circulating nurse quickly scrubbed the chest as Dan took the scalpel and cleared his mind, focusing entirely on baby Erica and the complicated heart surgery she needed in order to stay alive.

Ten and a half hours later he lifted his head and stretched his neck muscles with a heavy sigh. It was over and Erica had come through the entire ordeal like a trouper.

He stared at the cardiac monitor, watching her heart rhythm flash across the screen in a fast but relatively steady beat. Her blood pressure was adequate, too, and there wouldn’t be a better time to transfer her upstairs. “Call the NNICU and let them know she’s coming up.”

“Will do,” one of the circulating nurses said.

He broke scrub, knowing the anesthesiologist would take care of the transfer. Erica would need to remain on the ventilator, not to mention on several different medications, as they waited for her body to heal from surgery. It was late now, not likely that Rebecca would still be around. No doubt she had someone else covering the evening shift.

As much as he wanted to head home, he knew he couldn’t leave until he was certain little Erica was stable. The first few hours were the most critical, and if she started bleeding, he’d have to take her back to surgery.

He changed his scrubs and then took a few minutes to call Josh, as it was just past dinnertime. “Hi, Gemma, is Josh there?”

“Sure. I’ll get him.”

He could hear her yelling for Josh and soon his son picked up the phone. “Daddy? Are you coming home now?”

He closed his eyes and wished more than anything that he could go home just for a few minutes to give Josh a hug. “Not yet. But if everything goes well, I’ll be home before you go to bed.”

“Promise?” Josh asked.

He hesitated, hating to promise anything he couldn’t deliver. “Josh, I promise that I’ll try very hard to get home before you go to bed. A lot depends on how well my patient is doing. Okay?”

“Okay.” Josh sounded distant, and Dan wished more than anything he could have had this last week at home. But at the same time tetralogy of Fallot, complicated by hypoplastic pulmonary arteries, was his specialty. Erica had the best chance with him as her surgeon.

As always, the tug between doing what was best for his patients and what was best for his son was difficult to navigate. He didn’t want to let either of them down.

But when he did, it was invariably his son who suffered the most.

“How was therapy today?” he asked in an effort to prolong the conversation.

“Good.”

Another one-word answer. He strove for patience and tried again. “Let’s see if I can guess what flavor lollipop you chose for today. Hmm,” he murmured dragging out the suspense as he pretended to ponder. “Cherry? No, I bet it was root beer.”

There was a gasp. “How did you know it was root beer?” Josh demanded with awe.

Dan grinned. “I have superhuman powers,” he teased. Glancing at his watch, he realized baby Erica was already up in the NICU by now. “Look, Josh, I have to go and check on my patient. I’ll try to be home in a couple of hours, okay?”

“Okay. Good night, Daddy.” At least this time he sounded as if he meant it.

“Good night, Josh.” After Josh hung up, he stared at his phone for a moment, before slipping it into his pocket and heading over to the elevator. He always hoped and prayed his patients did well after surgery, especially since they were so small and vulnerable.

But this time he hoped and prayed twice as hard because he didn’t want to disappoint his son.

He had been wrong about Rebecca, who was still there, and he found her studying Erica’s lab results intently. “Hi, Dan,” she said, somewhat distractedly.

“Rebecca. How’s she doing?”

“Good so far. Her hemoglobin is stable for the moment.”

“Glad to hear it.” If Erica’s hemoglobin stayed stable, he’d make it home in time to say good-night to Josh after all.

“I can watch her, if you want to head home,” Rebecca offered. “I have to be here, anyway.”

It was tempting, oh, so tempting to take her up on her offer but his rule was to wait for a least an hour. If patients were going to start bleeding it was generally within the first hour or two.

“I’ll wait.” He settled in a chair next to Erica’s isolette.

“Your choice.” She dropped next to him and they spent the next hour monitoring Erica’s vital signs and lab values.

“This baby girl is a true star,” Rebecca said, pushing away from the isolette well over an hour later. “Go home, Dan. Your son needs you.”

He didn’t have to be told twice. Erica did indeed look like a star. Or at least she was stable. And he didn’t live far from the hospital if something happened later.

He crossed the threshold of his home fifteen minutes later, giving him thirty minutes before Josh usually went to bed. “Josh? Gemma? I’m home.”

“Gemma’s not here, Daddy,” Josh said, wheeling into the living room.

His jaw dropped and his heart squeezed in panic. “What do you mean, she’s not here?” he said in alarm. “Are you telling me she actually left you here all alone?”

“No, she didn’t leave him alone.” A female voice from the doorway made him swing round in shocked surprise. Molly stood there, looking wonderful. And nervous. “I—um—agreed to come over as she had to leave. Something about her daughter needing to go to the hospital.”

“You did?” He stared at her, tempted to rush over and haul her into his arms, to prove she was real. Because having Molly waiting for him was something he’d secretly coveted.

“Yes. I hope you don’t mind.”

God, no, of course he didn’t mind. In fact, this just might be the best news of his entire day. He reverently hoped Erica would remain stable back at the hospital as he flashed a grateful smile and gently closed the door behind him. “I don’t mind at all.”