Читать книгу His Immortal Embrace - Lynsay Sands - Страница 14

It took every ounce of Alpin’s will to leave Sophie while she still slept. Today was his wedding day, and knowing he could not hold her in his arms all night again made him want to crawl back into the bed and cling to her like some frightened child. He should make her leave, but he could not bring himself to say the words. Alpin feared the darkness in his world would be complete if he could not at least see her now and again. There would be no more lovemaking, however, he swore as he forced himself to walk out of his bedchamber. Today marked the end of their stolen idyll and he had to draw that line deeply and clearly.

Once in the great hall, he fixed his attention upon the final wedding preparations. Since the priest refused to enter the gates of Nochdaidh, they would have to go into the village. That had required Alpin to gain special permission to be married after sunset, claiming some difficulty with sensitive skin. Embarrassing, but it had worked. A heavy purse sent along with the request had helped. That money had undoubtedly helped the church dismiss the dark rumors about him as well. So, he mused as he looked at his pale, trembling bride, he was free to marry.

As the day dragged on, Alpin fought the urge to go to Sophie. His mood grew darker with every passing hour, every badly smothered sob of his distraught bride. Alpin did think it odd that Eric seemed to share his mood. It was not until they gathered in the bailey to begin the ride to the church that Alpin realized he had not seen even a fleeting glimpse of Sophie or Nella all day.

“Where is Sophie?” he asked Eric as the man rode up, leading the horse Alpin would ride to the church.

“Gone,” Eric replied while Alpin swung himself up into the saddle.

“Gone? Gone where?”

“She and Nella left to return to their home a few hours ago. Lady Sophie said ’twas best, for ye would be tied to Lady Margaret by vows said before God and that was a line she didnae want to cross. Feared she might be tempted if she stayed here. I sent three of the lads with them. Couldnae let them travel alone.”

“Nay, of course not,” he muttered, blindly nudging his mount into following the others to the village.

Alpin was stunned. He had wanted Sophie to leave, had thought it for the best. Yet, now that she was gone, he felt more desolate than he ever had before. This was how it should be, yet it felt all wrong. He certainly did not feel noble. When a man gave up what he wanted for the greater good, for the benefit of someone else, should he not feel some pride in himself, some warmth in the knowledge that he had done the right thing? All he felt was cold; chilled to the very bone.

It made no sense, he thought as he blindly obeyed someone’s command to kneel next to his weeping bride. Sophie had only been in his life for a month. Most of that time he had tried to avoid her or he had been yelling at her. How could the loss of one tiny, irritating woman make him feel so shattered inside?

He took his bride’s sweaty, shaking hand in his and looked at her. She was desolate and terrified, yet he had barely spoken two words to her in the fortnight she had been at Nochdaidh. Sophie had seen him at his worst and had never faltered. Could he have wronged Sophie in a way by thinking her too weak to endure what might yet come?

“Sir Alpin?” called the priest. “Your vows? ’Tis time to speak your vows.”

Alpin looked at the priest, then looked back at Margaret. “Nay,” he said as he slowly stood up. “Not to this lass.”

“This was agreed to with your father,” yelled Sir Peter as he glared at Alpin. “Your sword arm for her dowry, the land, and the coin. Ye cannae simply say nay.”

“Aye, I can. I suspect we can come to some agreement if ye feel a need for my sword arm. But not this way.”

“But, the land, the wealth? Your father was eager for them.”

“I dinnae want the land or the coin. I want,” Alpin thought of Sophie, “smiles.” He looked at Margaret, who had prostrated herself at the feet of the priest, kissing the hem of his robe as she muttered prayers of thanksgiving. “I want courage. I want someone who will stand beside me, nay cower or faint each time I enter the room. I want to be loved,” he added softly, a hint of astonishment in his voice. “I intend to be a selfish bastard and go get what I want and hold fast to it.”

“Thank God,” said Eric. “She rode southeast. She and Nella refused to ride anything but those ponies, so they should be easy enough to catch if we ride hard.”

Although he was curious as to why Eric looked so elated, Alpin decided now was not the time to discuss that. “I thought to leave ye here to make sure the priest will still be here and ready when I return.”

“Nay, I ride with ye.” Eric ordered a man named Duncan to watch the priest, then turned back to Alpin. “Ye will have to ride hard to get her, bring her back here, wed her, and get back within the walls of Nochdaidh ere the sun rises. Thought I would ride with Nella and leave the lads to follow at a slower pace.”

“Nella, is it?” Alpin grinned when Eric blushed, then started out of the church, idly noting that his people looked uncommonly cheerful. “Nella who rattles because she wears so many amulets and charms? A bit timid.”

“Aye,” agreed Eric as he and Alpin mounted their horses, “but, if ye recall, ’twas timid, wee Nella who put herself between your sword point and her ladyship’s heart that first day.”

“Ah, so she did. Timid, but no coward.” Alpin nudged his horse into an easy pace for, despite his sense of urgency, he had to go through the village with care.

“And, nay matter what happens, she is now, weel, accustomed to Nochdaidh. She will stay.”

“Do ye think I am being too selfish?” Alpin asked quietly.

“Ah, m’laird, mayhap, but isnae every mon? But, ’tisnae some weak miss ye go after. She kens it all, e’en a lot of our dark history. Why dinnae ye just let her decide?”

Eric was right, Alpin thought, as they reached the edge of the village and kicked their mounts into a gallop. Sophie was a strong, clever woman who knew exactly what he was and what he could become. She even knew they would have to make some hard decisions concerning a child. It was time to place the decision in her small, capable hands.

“I am sorry, m’lady,” Nella said as she sat next to Sophie near the fire the men had built.

“Aye, so am I.” She glanced at the three young men from Nochdaidh who stood to the far side of the campsite deciding how they would divide up the watch. “At least this time we travel with some protection.”

“True. ’Tis a comfort of sort.” Nella sighed and idly poked a stick into the fire. “I had hoped the laird would see the truth.”

“Weel, what we understand to be the truth.”

“ ’Tis the truth. I ken it deep in my heart. The words at the end of that vile curse say it clear. And I believe the fact that ’twould be a Galt woman and a MacCordy mon would make the curative power of the match e’en stronger.”

Sophie nodded. “It was verra hard to say naught, but that also had to be.” She smiled slightly when she saw how carefully Nella watched her. “Dinnae fret o’er me. I may have hoped for something different, but I anticipated such an ending. And, aye, I suspect I shall trouble ye with some bad days, but, at the moment, I am numb. ’Tisnae just that I have lost the mon I love, but I fear I have lost all chance of ending Rona’s curse. And mayhap my pain is already eased by the knowledge that I will still have his child to love.”

“His what?!”

“Hush, Nella. His child,” she whispered.

“Nay. How can ye tell so soon?”

“Trust me, Nella. I am certain. I felt it the moment the seed was planted. ’Tis odd, though, for Alpin was certain no MacCordy laird had e’er bred a bastard. Who can say? Mayhap the end of the curse will come through this child. Mayhap ’tis fate at work here.”

“And mayhap your kinsmen willnae bring the roof down with their angry bellows?”

“Ah, there is that. Weel, we shall deal with that trouble when it presents itself. Best we get some sleep now,” Sophie said as she moved to the rough bed of blankets arranged for her and Nella. “We didnae cover much distance this day and I should like to get an early start in the morning.”

“Alpin?” Sophie heard herself say as she abruptly sat up.

“M’lady? Is something wrong?” asked her guard, Angus.

“A dream, I think.”

Since Angus had chosen the first watch, Sophie knew she had only slept an hour or two. She looked around but saw no sign of Alpin. Yet she could not shake the strong feeling that he was near at hand. Just as she was deciding that she was letting false hope lead her, Alpin and Eric rode into the camp. She sat stunned as Alpin dismounted and walked to her bed to stand over her.

“What are ye doing here?” she asked. “ ’Tis your wedding night.”

“Nay, not yet,” Alpin replied and held out his hand. “I have come to give ye a choice, Lady Sophie Hay.”

“A choice?” she asked as she put her hand in his and let him tug her to her feet.

“Me and all the darkness that surrounds me, or freedom and the sunlight.”

“What of Lady Margaret?”

“The last I saw of her, she was kissing the hem of the priest’s robes and thanking God for saving her from an unholy union.”

“Then I choose you,” she said, so choked with emotion that her voice was barely above a whisper.

Alpin’s only outward reaction was to nod and brush the back of his hand over her cheek. The look on his face, however, told Sophie he was deeply moved, as did the faint tremor in his hand. She knew she would get all the emotion she could handle later when they were alone.

There was little time for her to think about the big step she had just taken. She and Nella were told to collect their cloaks and mount the horses. The three young men from Nochdaidh were ordered to return at their own pace. Then they were racing over the countryside, Sophie clinging to Alpin and Nella to Eric. A little unsettled by how swiftly they moved through the night, she closed her eyes.

The promise of dawn was in the sky when they reined in before the tiny stone chapel in the village. Sophie was so unsteady when they dismounted, Alpin had to carry her into the church. She nearly laughed when he roused the people sleeping in the church with a lot of yelling and a few well-placed kicks. It became even harder to hide her growing amusement as a yawning priest married them, Alpin briefly kissed her, and she was hurried out of the church. The sight of the rapidly lightening sky sobered her quickly, however, and she said nothing as she was tossed into the saddle, Alpin mounted behind her, and they raced to the keep.

“Why is Nella crying?” Alpin asked the moment they were safely within the walls of the keep. “I had thought she had come to trust me, or, at least, nay fear me.”

Sophie ached to tell him what she thought this marriage might accomplish, but bit back the words. She could be wrong. It would be cruel to convince him all would be well now, only to discover nothing had changed. One look at Nella’s wide-eyed expression told her that her maid was thinking much the same.

“My arse hurts,” Nella blurted out.

There was a moment of heavy silence. Sophie could feel that Eric and Alpin were struggling as hard as she was not to laugh. She finally croaked out the word “bath” and headed toward her bedchamber, Nella quickly following. If she understood Alpin’s strangled words correctly, he was also going to bathe and wanted her to join him in his bedchamber in one hour. Just the thought of what would ensue when she joined him in an hour had Sophie’s blood running so hot she doubted she would need the fire to heat her bathwater.

Alpin stared at the meal set out upon a table near the fire. Coward that he was, he had eaten the meat prepared for him and had quickly had his plate removed. Sophie might understand and accept him for what he was, but he still shied away from complete exposure. It was one of the things he had been reduced to that he himself found hard to bear.

Sensing her approach, he turned to face her as she entered the room. She looked beautiful in her thin, lace-trimmed nightshift, and he found her scent to be a heady perfume. She also looked delicate, soft, and innocent, and he felt doubt assail him. Surely it was wrong to drag such a warm, gentle soul into his world of shadow and blood.

“Ye cannae change your mind now,” Sophie said as she moved to the table and helped herself to a honey-sweetened oatcake.

“Ye dinnae belong here, locked into the darkness,” he said.

“I belong with ye, Alpin, be it in shadow or in sunlight so bright it makes our eyes hurt.” She looked at the food on the table, then back at him. “Ye cannae eat any of this?”

“Nay. There is nay longer a taste to it for me, and the act of eating it only serves to stir up a strong need for the other.”

“Do ye miss it?”

“Och, aye. I yearn to sit at a table weighted with food of all kinds and eat until I cannae move. I yearn to stand in the sunlight and nay fear the warmth of its light. I yearn to have people look at me without fear, without crossing themselves or making the sign to ward off evil. I yearn to see the flowers grow in the bailey.”

Sophie moved to wrap her arms around his waist and rest her cheek against his chest. “Ye shall have those things again.”

He gently gripped her by the chin and turned her face up to his. “Ye sound so sure of that.”

“One of us has to be.”

Alpin smiled faintly. “When I knelt beside the Lady Margaret, that undying hope of yours was one of the things I thought of. I may ne’er share it, but I wanted it. I thought of smiles, your smiles and your sweet laughter. I thought of how ye dinnae fear me, e’en when I am bellowing and ranting. And when the priest asked me to speak my vows, I looked at my trembling and weeping bride, and realized I couldnae say them to her. She was terrified of me and repulsed. If ye hadnae come into my life, I probably would have accepted that, for ’tis what I have become accustomed to. But ye gave me a thirst for more, Sophie. I suddenly kenned that I yearned to be loved,” he added in a near whisper.

“Oh, ye are, Alpin.” She hugged him tightly and rubbed her cheek against his chest. “I love ye.”

He felt the warmth of those words flow through his veins. Holding her close, he rested his chin on the top of her head. He started to smile when, after a few moments of silence, she began to grow tense. His smile widened to a grin when she slipped her hand inside his robe and pinched his waist. It was probably a little unkind to tease her so, but he was sure that she knew exactly how he felt.

“Alpin,” she muttered crossly.

“I love ye too, Sophie mine. Ye are the sun that warms the cold shadows of my prison.” He frowned slightly when he felt a slight dampness seep between her cheek and his chest. “Are ye crying?”

“ ’Tis just happiness, Alpin.”

“Ah, I thought your arse might hurt.” He laughed at her startled look, picked her up in his arms, and carried her to his bed.

“Time for the wedding night? Or, rather, dawn?” she asked with a smile as he set her down on the bed and shed his robe.

After tugging off her shift, he sprawled in her arms. “With ye in my bed, my wee wife, I think I could actually grow to like the dawn.”

“What are ye doing awake?” Eric asked Nella as she joined him at the table in the great hall.

She cut herself a thick piece of bread. “Hungry. I shall get some rest after I eat.” Nella cut a thick slice of cheese, set it on the bread, and stared at the food in her hand. “Do ye think it will work?”

“Ah, fretting about that, are ye?”

“Arenae ye?”

“Some, aye. It seems as if it ought to, but this trouble has plagued us for so long, I find hope a hard thing to grasp.”

Nella sighed. “So do I. I have heard all the tales of the sad lives of the Galt women and, though it makes sense that this is the answer, it just seems too easy.”

“Ye think there ought to be some spell done, herbs and smoke and magic words?”

“Aye. A ceremony of sorts, I suppose. Ah, weel, mayhap the marriage itself was all the ceremony needed.”

“It has its own power, true enough. Weel, ye eat and then rest, lass. Ye will need your strength.”

“Oh? Why?”

“Because if Sophie is right and this ends the curse, there will be a wild celebration. If it doesnae, if she is wrong, she will be needing a lot of comfort.”