Читать книгу The Broken Hearts Book Club - Lynsey James - Страница 11
ОглавлениеTime to go, I’ve made a huge mistake.
I ran home, mentally preparing myself to run away again. All I could think was that I had to get out of Luna Bay as quickly as possible. Seeing Maggie Cunningham had brought back every bad memory I’d tried to suppress and now it was time to leave.
When I walked through the door, I was greeted with a miniature version of Atlantis. Water was pouring through the light fitting in the hall, pooling on the carpet and spreading at a rapid rate. There was a huge damp patch on the ceiling that looked like it would burst open at any moment and when I poked my head round the kitchen door, I noticed water was spurting through the light fitting in there too. This was obviously Dad’s attempt at fixing the ‘minor plumbing problem’.
‘Dad?’ I called. ‘Is everything OK?’
‘Everything’s fine Luce!’ His voice was surprisingly sunny, considering his house looked like the venue for the Olympic swimming trials. ‘Just a bit of a problem upstairs, nothing to worry about!’
I wasn’t buying that for a second. I ran up the stairs and found Dad in the bathroom, ineffectually mopping a giant pool of water. It wasn’t hard to see where it had come from: the sink taps had been left on and it had overflowed.
‘Oh Dad, what have you done?’ I stared blankly at the mess and tried to stop a rogue giggle from bursting out of me. There were towels everywhere soaking up the water and Dad was acting like nothing had happened.
‘I was having a wash before the funeral when the phone rang and I forgot I’d left the taps running.’ He smiled and continued mopping. ‘See, told you there was nothing to worry about!’
‘I don’t think Mum’s going to see it that way! It’s like bloody Atlantis in here.’
Dad did a mock-scared face and shrugged his shoulders. ‘It’ll all come out in the wash.’ He laughed at his own joke then put his mop down. ‘It’s lovely having you back here, you know.’
I nodded, feeling a bit guilty that I’d come home to get my stuff and leg it again.
‘Yeah I’ve missed the old place,’ I admitted. It was true; during all my time in London, Luna Bay and the life I’d left behind had never been far from my thoughts. ‘I… bumped into Maggie Cunningham at the wake.’
Dad’s easy smile vanished and he came over to put an arm around me. He knew exactly why seeing Maggie Cunningham was a bad thing. He led me over to the top of the stairs and we sat down.
‘And how did that go, as if I need to ask.’
‘About as well as could be expected. She basically told me to sod off back to London and never tip up in Luna Bay again.’
‘So you didn’t talk about –?’
‘No.’ I cut him off before he said the words that would hurt more than anything else. ‘She made it clear she still blames me for what happened all those years ago. Maybe she’s right Dad, maybe I should just go back to London and never come here again.’
He squeezed my shoulder and pulled me in for a hug. ‘Don’t listen to her Lucy. This is your home and you’ve as much right to be here as she has. All that bad stuff happened eight years ago now; time makes people move on.’
He’s right, I thought, I just wish it didn’t hurt so much after all this time.
‘Yeah you’re right,’ I replied. ‘I’m only here for a few days anyway then I’ll be heading off back to London.’
The thought of going back made me feel sick. I had no job to go to and probably no flat either. With only George’s income, we’d likely have to give up our Kentish Town flat and either find other people to stay with or look for a place we could afford. I hated the thought of the little world I’d created being torn apart. It was safe and ordered and now everything would be turned upside down.
‘You don’t have to go rushing off if you don’t want to. Why don’t you stay a while, go round some of your old haunts? Your mum and me would be delighted to have you here for a bit.’
I could feel his kind blue eyes on me; it was as though he knew about everything that had happened in London and was trying to give me a way out of going back.
Before I could answer, the front door opened and Mum appeared with George in tow. Her eyes widened with horror as she realised her house looked like a scene from The Little Mermaid. My best friend looked equally unimpressed. He looked like he’d stepped into a parallel universe with no clue what to do.
‘DAVID!!’ she yelled. ‘WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?’
Dad took that as his cue to run downstairs and work his magic charms on her.
‘Don’t worry Elaine; I’ll have it sorted in no time. Just you wait and see!’
‘How have you managed this?! I thought it was a minor plumbing problem!’
‘Well, you know how it is love; these old houses just surprise you sometimes, don’t they? It started out minor but it’s gone a bit… Well a bit further than that now! Still, Lucy and I will have it sorted it out in no time!’
Mum gestured to George, ‘You’ll have to get this one here to help you instead. Lucy and I have an appointment at the solicitor’s to sort out Mum’s will. Come on you!’ she called to me.
‘Come on then lad.’ Dad came down and slung an arm round George’s shoulder. ‘We’ll have this trouble sorted out in no time.’
My best friend nodded but didn’t look too sure of himself. He wasn’t exactly a dab hand at DIY and usually ended up making a small problem much worse. Unfortunately for him, my dad was very much the same.
Running down the stairs to grab my jacket, I felt anticipation knotting in my stomach. I was more than a little annoyed that my escape plans had been derailed, but I was also quite excited to see what the solicitor had in store for us.
***
‘A house? Nana Lily left me a house?!’
Mr Shields, the solicitor, looked at me through his small round spectacles. He looked like he belonged in a Charles Dickens novel with his billows of white hair, long pointed nose and gangly frame.
‘Indeed she did, Miss Harper. She instructed me to bequeath Rose Cottage on Beach Road, Luna Bay to you, provided some conditions are met.’
I didn’t know what to make of that. I’d loved Rose Cottage growing up and it had been the scene of so many happy childhood memories. Under normal circumstances I’d have been happy to inherit it. But given that I wasn’t planning to stick around in Luna Bay, Rose Cottage was a beautiful spanner in the works. I also wondered what ‘conditions’ could possibly be attached. Nana Lily had always been full of surprises, but they usually involved an unexpected plate of fairy cakes or an extra tenner when Mum wasn’t looking. This was a whole other ball game.
‘What conditions are they?’
He handed me an envelope as a macabre grin spread across his crinkly face. ‘Perhaps this will explain it better.’
I held the letter in trembling hands and looked at Nana Lily’s wispy, fancy handwriting on the front. A lump rose in my throat; I remembered it so well from my childhood, from Christmas cards and birthdays… my nana. She’d been such a huge part of my life and had influenced me a lot when I was growing up. There were hardly any childhood memories that didn’t have her in them, from baking cakes with her to trips to the beach looking for seashells. They came filtering back into my mind, drenched in a dreamy haze. It was so good to remember them again. I turned the envelope over in my hands, all too aware that things would irrevocably change when I opened it. What I didn’t know was if it was for better or for worse.
‘Open it then!’ Mum urged, breaking through my thoughts. ‘Let’s see what’s inside.’
As my heart raced and pulse quickened, I tore open the envelope and pulled out the slightly crumpled letter.
My darling Lucy,
If you’re reading this, then I’m no longer with you. I’ll be nothing but a collection of memories (and a pot of ashes on the mantelpiece, if your mum’s listened to me! None of that burial lark for me). The day you were born was one of the happiest days of my life and I had the immense privilege of watching you grow up from a beautiful little girl into an even more beautiful woman whose kindness and morals made me proud every single day. I know what happened all those years ago was hard for you darling, but I always believed it wasn’t your fault. You were never to blame for what occurred and I hope you know that. I hated you being so far away from Luna Bay; that London can’t possibly be all it’s cracked up to be!
That’s why I’m leaving you my house. I know you’ve always loved it and you made so many happy memories there. I’d love to think of you making some more. I have some stipulations though: one is that I want YOU to live there. Luna Bay is your home and it’s not been the same since you left. I don’t want you renting it out to some bugger who won’t appreciate it; I want YOU to live there, Lucy. This village needs someone with your kindness – and that bright smile of yours will cheer the place up no end.
There’s one more thing darling: I’d like you to run my book club for three months.
I reached the end of the page and had to do a double take. A book club?! That couldn’t be right, surely! I turned the page to find out more.
You’re probably wondering what on earth I’m on about, so let me explain. You might not know this, but I founded a book club after your Granddad Jack died. We call ourselves the Broken Hearts Book Club and we use books as a means of dealing with the awful things that have happened to us. They’re a lovely bunch and they’ll need someone to lead them after I’m gone. My challenge to you is to lead them, be there for them as I was and help them find a way through their grief. If you choose to pick up where I left off, you’ll choose the books, run the meetings and lead the discussions. You’re more than up to the challenge, my beautiful brave girl.
You’re an incredibly loving and giving person, darling. You just need to be reminded of that and stop being bogged down in the past. The thought of you taking the members into your heart and making them smile again is such a lovely one. I know you can do it.
Love Nana Lily
‘What?!’ I stared at the letter in front of me, unable to believe what I’d just read. ‘This is bloody insane!’
The idea was absurd; too much had happened for me to come back. Nana Lily had been extremely generous in leaving me the cottage and I knew I should’ve been in an excited daze, picking out paint samples and making plans.
But I wasn’t; I was in a complete tailspin about the contents of the letter and trying to find some sense or logic in them. I was utterly taken aback by what I’d just seen and scanned the letter again to see if my eyes had played a nasty trick on me.
‘What is it?’ Mum asked.
I handed her the letter and watched her take the words on the page in, hoping and praying she’d agree that me coming back to live in Luna Bay was the worst idea in the world.
‘I think it’s a wonderful idea.’ She passed the letter back to me and smiled.
Bollocks.
‘Mum, this place hasn’t been my home for eight bloody years! I can’t just come back. And what the hell do I know about running a book club? I didn’t even know it existed until a few seconds ago! Did you?’
She stared into the middle distance and pursed her lips while she prepared her answer.
‘Well I knew she had a group of people she liked to meet up with of a Wednesday night. I think I even remember her mentioning it was a book club a few times. If you want my opinion, I think you’d be great at leading them. Judging by the name and from what I saw in the letter, they’re all going through pretty tough times. You could spread a bit of cheer and get them feeling good again, just like Nana Lily mentioned. And you’re so good at making people like you and finding out what makes them happy. People just warm to you Lucy, and that means you could really make a go of this. You can come up with some creative ways of getting the members feeling good again too. Won’t that be fun? It might even help you get past what happened with… well, you know what I’m talking about.’
People warm to me, do they, I thought, I don’t think so. I’m Public Enemy Number One as far as the residents of Luna Bay are concerned and I’ll never get past what happened. Never.
‘Mum, I can’t think of a worse person to “get people feeling good again” than me! I’ve got a life in London to get back to and I can’t do that if I’m stuck here leading a, what was it called, a Broken Hearts Book Club?’
Mr Shields reached over the desk and took the letter from Mum, peering at it from behind his glasses.
‘If I could bring your attention to your nana’s will, it says that in order to fully inherit Rose Cottage, you must lead the book club for a minimum period of three months.’
I threw my head into my hands. ‘Shit.’
Mum picked up the will and looked carefully at the paragraph Mr Shields had pointed out.
‘He’s right,’ she said. ‘You have to be chairwoman of the book club, run all the meetings, choose the books and lead the discussions. She says if you decide to do it, Mr Shields will call round every so often to check you’re doing OK, that you’re living in the cottage and running the club. If you don’t, Rose Cottage goes on the market.’
She handed the letter to me, making me feel like I was in a particularly bad game of Pass the Parcel. I saw it there in black and white and wanted to scream.
‘Do let me know what you decide to do, won’t you Miss Harper? Shall we say, oh, a week to make your mind up? If at the end of the week, you don’t want to act on your grandmother’s wishes, the house will go on the market and the proceeds will be split between your parents and the various charities she was devoted to.’ He bore his teeth at me and I felt more than a little creeped out. He looked so much like Mr Burns from The Simpsons.
I nodded and left the office as fast as I could. I was now faced with a straight choice: go back to the mess I made in London or stay and face the mess I’d made here.
Brilliant, just chuffing perfect.
Rose Cottage was a short walk from the solicitor’s office, and lay just off a grassy embankment that led directly down to the beach. It was a sturdy whitewashed cottage with a thatched roof and vines of climbing roses growing around the door. Seeing it for the first time in years made my heart skip a beat. It really was a breath-taking place. I looked at it and a barrage of memories came rushing back to me. Running up the path to Nana Lily’s open and welcoming arms, the wind blowing in my hair and a huge dopey grin on my face. Following her around the garden with my bright yellow plastic watering can and giggling like mad when she let me water some flowers. Helping her spoon gloopy cake mix into cases before putting them in the oven. All the memories I’d made at Nana Lily’s beautiful beachside cottage had a blissful and halcyon haze to them that tugged at my heartstrings. I’d felt safe and happy during that time and couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt those things. They seemed an entire world away. A knot of emotion brewed deep inside me and I tried desperately to bring cool logic and reason into the situation. I had to detach myself, to look at things rationally so I could perhaps forget that one of the most important people in my life was gone forever.
I thought about turning my back on Rose Cottage. I could walk away, go back to London and forget about the whole thing. However, I found myself walking up to it, with Mum hot on my heels.
‘So what do you think?’ she asked, falling into step with me. ‘Are you going to stick around here and give things a go or head back to London?’
I sighed and ran my hand over the gate before pushing it open, ‘I’ve no idea Mum, I’m just trying to take this all in at the moment.’
I walked up the gravel path, loving that the crunch and scrunch beneath my feet drowned out the cacophony of voices in my head, which were all shouting equally bad advice. The air tasted of the sea – fresh and salty – and a light breeze bobbed in and out of the trees and long grass. There was a chill in the air – the last remnant of a classic Luna Bay winter – so I pulled my jacket closer around me and shivered. Weak sunlight fell in dappled shades across the gravel path as it sliced through the leaves on the trees. I unlocked the front door, which creaked when I pushed it open, and stepped inside.
The second I stepped in the hall though the smell of damp hit me right between the eyes. It was certainly different to the aroma of freshly baked bread that had greeted me before. I knew the house had been empty since Nana Lily had gone to live in a nursing home further up the coast. Spotlessly clean furniture had been engulfed by dust and grime and the house’s shiny, welcoming lustre had completely vanished. A sense of panic enveloped me. What was I supposed to do with this? The enormity of the potential task lying in front of me overwhelmed me.
Mum appeared at my side, smiling optimistically. ‘It needs some work, but it could be made really nice. Obviously it’s been a bit neglected for a while, but if you decide to stay, we could start doing it up together.’
I swallowed. I had the chance to live in the house I’d loved so much growing up, basking in all the fantastic memories that had been made here. However, to do that, I’d have to confront everything that made me leave Luna Bay behind. I wasn’t sure I was ready to do that just yet.
‘Yeah that’d be lovely. I just don’t know where to start!’
I couldn’t meet Mum’s gaze. I badly wanted to tell her about losing my job but the words died in my mouth.
‘It could be a nice little project,’ she continued, walking into the living room. ‘You could stay at home until it’s ready to live in, then do the rest up as you go along.’
The urge to tell her everything resurfaced again. I tried my best to tamp it down; no good could come of telling her I’d lied. Following her into the living room I caught sight of the breath-taking views of Luna Bay Beach through the stunning French windows that led out to the garden. I walked over to them and my fingers brushed against the ornate silver handle, making the door open a little. I looked out and allowed myself to drink in my surroundings. The sea gently lapped against the shore and a few families and dog walkers making the most of the fresh but chilly spring day were dotted along the vast cove. The sand stretched out into a thin ribbon as it curled around to the imposing black cliffs. It was only after seeing it again after so long that I realised how much I’d missed it.
This view, this life, it could all be mine again. All I had to do was reach out and grab it.
‘Some view eh?’ Mum echoed my thoughts and came over to stand beside me. ‘This room could be lovely if it was done up right. Just think, you could sit here with a glass of wine at night and look out at the sea –’
But as soon as she said that out loud I snapped. The weight of the decision I had to make, plus the strain of keeping my sacking a secret became too much to bear.
‘Don’t, OK, don’t! I moved away for a reason and you know that. I can’t come back here.’
‘That was a long time ago Lucy, things have moved on a lot since then!’ Mum’s voice was tired and weary. One look at her face and you could see the desperation etched into it.
I sighed and moved a few paces away from her, heading back towards the front door.
‘No they haven’t, not really. I saw Maggie Cunningham at Nana Lily’s wake yesterday and she certainly hasn’t moved on! Not that I can really blame her after what happened.’
I trailed off, stopping short of mentioning the terrible tragedy of eight years ago, the events that tore me away from the corner of the world I loved so much.
‘You need to stop blaming yourself for that!’ Mum said, calmly making me stop. ‘It all happened so long ago now and nobody could have stopped it. What happened to Vicky was tragic, but it was an accident. Nana Lily said she didn’t blame you in her letter and nobody else round here does either. Maggie might still hold a grudge and that’s not entirely surprising because of what happened, but for everyone else in this village time has moved on Lucy. I’d love to have you back here and not have to hop on a train for hours when I fancy seeing you. Just think about it, eh?’
I could see the pleading in her eyes and it broke my heart. She’d just lost her mother and I knew how much it meant to her to have me home – but, I’d gotten used to the idea of being invisible, of losing myself in London’s urban sprawl. When I was there, nobody had to know what I’d done or how it had wrecked people’s lives. Guilt had kept me away from Luna Bay for so long and it was about to force me back to the purgatory of London again. But things were pretty much ruined there now: I’d be going back to no job and probably no flat either.
Yet Fate had thrown me a very intriguing yet impractical option… to return to this beautiful place with its dark secrets and bad memories. I definitely couldn’t stay here. Could I?
I heard a rustling noise coming from the corner of the room. Mum was rummaging through one of Nana Lily’s numerous boxes of things. Although she’d lived in a nursing home for the last portion of her life, most of her possessions had been kept at Rose Cottage.
‘Look at this,’ she said, peering at a slightly crumpled photograph. ‘It says “me and the Broken Hearts Book Club, December ’08.” That woman at the top is Diane from the Moonlight Café and that fella’s Frank who runs the corner shop. God, there’s quite a few familiar faces here!’
I went over and picked up the photo, but when I looked at the group of people in the photo I was hit with an overwhelming sense of grief. They were all smiling but I could tell none of them were truly happy. Their smiles were nothing more than masks used to convince the world they were OK when they weren’t. Some of them were faces I’d grown up with, whilst others weren’t so familiar. I’d gone to Frank’s shop for ten pence mixtures as a kid and Diane’s café had been the scene of many birthday treats. My relationship with her wasn’t the best any more though; she was Mrs Cunningham’s best friend and had taken her side after the accident.
And suddenly I knew, just by looking into their eyes, that I had to check out the Broken Hearts Book Club – even if it was just to see why they meant so much to Nana Lily. Diane probably wouldn’t make me feel very welcome, but I had to satisfy my own curiosity. Although I didn’t want to admit it, a strange excitement began to brew inside me. I began to wonder about the members and what their stories might be.
One thing was for certain though: I definitely wasn’t looking to take Nana Lily up on her posthumous offer to lead them and live in Luna Bay. As much as I loved Rose Cottage and the magical memories it conjured up, I couldn’t come back.
No way.
