Читать книгу The Silver Bells Christmas Pantomime: The perfect feel-good Christmas romance! - Lynsey James - Страница 15
ОглавлениеLater that night, Mum mounted a full-scale present-wrapping operation at my cottage. It wasn’t ideal having so much festive merriment around my little Christmas-free zone but after the day I’d had, I decided to allow it. While she hummed along to All I Want for Christmas is You by Mariah Carey, I decided to do a little research on the mysterious Ethan Fox. After all, he seemed pretty famous yet I had no idea who he was. And I couldn’t quite seem to forget his comment about me not flying under anyone’s radar.
‘According to this interview I read, he was born in London but moved to Yorkshire when he was twelve because his dad inherited Fox’s department store. It’s been in the family for over a hundred years apparently. Oh and he’s won a BAFTA too, for Best Actor!’
Mum nodded and flashed me a knowing look as she curled some ribbon with a pair of scissors. ‘Really? Sounds like you’ve been doing a bit of digging on the lovely Mr Fox Jnr instead of helping your old mum wrap presents! Where are your Christmas decorations, by the way? Ours have been up for ages!’
I felt every muscle in my body tense. ‘You know me, Mum, I’m not that big on Christmas nowadays. I’d rather just treat it like any other day.’
She sighed and put down the set of beers from around the world she was wrapping for Dad. ‘Alice, I know Christmas was Jamie’s favourite time of year, but do you really think he’d want you to stop celebrating it just because he’s not here any more?’
Not this again.
I groaned and ran my hands over my face. ‘I can’t have this argument with you again this year. When Jamie died, it didn’t seem like there was much point making a fuss over Christmas any more! It just brings back too many awful memories, OK?’
‘No, Alice, it’s not bloody OK!’ That made my head snap up in shock; my mum hardly ever swore. ‘It’s like you’re stuck between two people: the Alice who’s still grieving for Jamie and the one who’s ready to move on. You used to love everything about Christmas: everybody spending time together, the food, the presents. That doesn’t have to stop just because Jamie isn’t around any more.’
I felt my blood begin to boil and I gritted my teeth to stop a stream of expletives spilling out of my mouth.
‘It just doesn’t feel right doing it without him. You do Christmas your way and I’ll do it my way.’
Mum cocked her head to one side and narrowed her eyes at me. ‘I saw a different side to you today, one I haven’t seen for a really long time. When you went over to help Ethan, I thought “maybe this is it, maybe Alice is finally coming back”. You put yourself out there, even if it was only for a few minutes to put a plaster on someone’s nose. You’re capable of so much more than you think; I just wish you’d realise it.’
I gave a deep sigh and went back to researching Ethan Fox. I didn’t want to risk telling Mum she was wrong about me: I wasn’t capable of anything more than living half a life. No matter how hard I tried, no matter what steps I took to try and move on, grief was never far behind me. It was the harsh little voice in the back of my head, reminding me whenever I felt happy that the man I loved wasn’t here to share my life any more. Every happy moment, every good thing that happened, he was missing out on it.
My fingers drummed loudly against the keyboard, the rhythmic tap-tap-tapping fighting to compete with the clamouring voices in my brain telling me something had to change. I’d been feeling like that more and more lately, like it was time to take some steps to live my life again. Since Jamie died, I’d felt so out of step with the world, like it was operating on a completely different wavelength to me. Things couldn’t stay as they were; I wasn’t really living my life any more. In fact, I wondered if I’d even remember how to live, if given the chance. It was like my life had been on pause for the last three years, with nothing changing or moving forward.
Mum’s voice broke through my thoughts.
‘Listen… I-I’ve got something to show you. I was going to leave it until Christmas Day, but you know what I’m like.’
She got out her phone, pulled her glasses down off her head and squinted at the screen, tapping it until she found what she was looking for.
‘Take a look at that,’ she said, passing the phone to me.
I looked down and saw a beautiful, luxury Caribbean hotel on the screen. It was called Beach Paradise Resort and Spa; apparently, it was a four-star resort that had six swimming pools, all with pool bars, a choice of restaurants and a state-of-the-art spa that offered everything from shiatsu massages to facials.
‘That looks nice,’ I replied. ‘Are you thinking of booking it for you and Dad? Or maybe a girls’ holiday with some of your friends?’
Mum’s smile shrank a little and her brow furrowed. ‘No, darling, I…I’ve booked it for me and you. I thought we could have a girly holiday this Christmas. I know how much you hate celebrating it, so I thought a change of scenery away from the festivities would do you good. We’d leave on the last flight on Christmas Eve and come back on the third of January. How does that sound?’
My head instantly snapped up and my mouth dropped open in disbelief. ‘You did what? Mum, that’s… You really didn’t have to do that.’
Her gaze fell to the floor and she sighed. ‘Alice, for the last three years, you’ve absolutely hated Christmas and it’s killed me to see you so sad. You used to love getting involved with it all, but I know it’s been too painful since Jamie died. I know it was his favourite time of year.’
I nodded, tears stinging the backs of my eyes. ‘Yeah, he loved everything about it. It just hasn’t felt right celebrating without him.’
Mum’s eyes sparkled with tears, but she managed to hold them back. ‘I know, love. That’s why I thought getting away from it all would help this year. You could enjoy yourself for once instead of dreading it like you have done since you lost him.’
I shook my head. ‘I’ll still be thinking about Jamie though, whether I’m here or sunning myself on a beach. It’s a lovely idea, Mum, and I really appreciate it, but I think I’ll just do my best to avoid it like I’ve done for the last three.’
My stomach wrenched as I looked at the hotel; it wouldn’t have come cheap and Mum and Dad weren’t exactly flush with cash. She’d spent money she probably didn’t have to try and help me through the most difficult time of the year.
‘I-I’ll pay you back the money you spent on it,’ I said. ‘I don’t want you being out of pocket because of me.’
‘I’m not worried about the money, Alice, I’m worried about you. I don’t want to see you spending another Christmas holed up in here thinking about Jamie. That’s why I booked the holiday, so you wouldn’t have to do that.’
I saw the look of hurt on her face and my insides twisted. She’d seen me through some incredibly dark times and was trying to do something lovely for me. My eyes fell back to the hotel on Mum’s phone screen. It didn’t look too bad, I supposed. The choice of restaurants sounded nice, and the rooms looked gorgeous too. Maybe Christmas on the beach wasn’t such a bad idea after all. In fact, the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. It was the most difficult time of year for me, and spending it somewhere else might be a good thing.
‘OK,’ I said, holding my hands up, ‘I’ll think about it, but I want to do something to earn it. You pick whatever you want and I’ll do it.’
A mischievous glint made Mum’s eyes sparkle. ‘Well it’s got to be the panto, hasn’t it? You could give Luna Bay a performance they’ll never forget!’
Oh no, I thought, anything but that.
‘How did I know you were going to say that?’ I rolled my eyes and managed a weak smile. ‘Please, Mum, is there anything else I could do? I haven’t been involved with theatre since Jamie died and I can’t go back now.’
‘Well you did say I could pick,’ she replied. ‘If you really feel like it’ll be too painful for you, then don’t do it, but I’d really like to see you going back to acting. You were so talented, Alice, and you absolutely loved it.’
A ghost of a memory came back to me: I was performing Hairspray on Broadway, playing Penny. As I sang and danced and acted my heart out, I could hear the laughter and applause, feeling the theatre’s electric atmosphere ensnare my senses. I felt a pang of longing that I hadn’t felt in so long. The passion was still there, lurking at the back of my mind, but it just hadn’t felt right doing it without Jamie.
‘The theatre was Jamie’s and my space,’ I said with a sad sigh. ‘We loved performing together and I… I don’t know if I want to do it without him.’
‘Do you really think he’d want you to give up on your passion just because he’s not here any more?’ Mum placed her hand on top of mine. ‘He loved you, Alice, and he’d want you to keep doing the things you love. Getting involved with the theatre again doesn’t mean you’re betraying him; it just means you’re starting to build up your life again.’
I thought of the voices inside my head, telling me something had to change. Maybe this was it, I thought, the decisive moment where I could either consign myself to being sad for ever or make a crucial leap.
‘OK,’ I said, stalling for time. ‘How about I agree to talk to Christabel about joining the panto? If she’s got anything I think I could help with, I’ll do it. If not, then we come up with some other way for me to earn my trip.’
A smile played on Mum’s lips and she shook her head. ‘Nice try, but she’s got tons of roles going, behind the scenes and on stage. She’s scared half the village away over the years and now, hardly anyone will work with her. I don’t care whether you help with the costumes or play the bloody fairy godmother, just take part. I know you’d rather have your teeth pulled without anaesthetic, but I think it’ll be really good for you. Just think, a few weeks of your time and you’ll get a trip to somewhere lovely and hot. What do you say?’
‘OK, OK, you win! I’ll talk to Christabel tomorrow.’
Oh God, Alice, what are you letting yourself in for?
*
Approaching Christabel for a role in her pantomime was like approaching a sleeping dragon: incredibly dangerous with a pretty high risk of getting yourself burned.
However, the day after making my deal with Mum, I prepared to do just that. I saw Christabel in the Moonlight Café, having tea with her select group of friends. I guessed they were taking advantage of Diane’s delicious high tea that was only served on Sundays. They all looked vaguely nervous and from what I could see, their teacups shook whenever they picked them up. I guessed they were all perfectly normal women who were too scared to even try and avoid her.
I looked down at my own pot of tea and barely touched chocolate cake, which I’d ordered so I could stake out Christabel’s table and prepare to make my move. Although both the tea and cake were delicious, I couldn’t enjoy them because the task in front of me weighed too heavily on my mind.
There was nothing else for it: it was time to strike. I put down my teacup and made my way over to her table. As I drew closer, I could hear that she was holding court over her terrified friends with some story about an actor she’d met at a buffet restaurant in Birmingham.
I watched them for a moment, wondering if I’d really have the guts to interrupt their conversation. I’d been so used to blending into the background for so long… I thought back to the day before, about feeling that something had to change. Life couldn’t stay on pause any more; I had to start taking steps to move forward, even if they were baby ones.
I cleared my throat and the hum of conversation immediately dropped. ‘Um…hi everyone! Sorry to interrupt your tea; I-I was wondering if I could talk to Christabel for a minute? It’s about the pantomime.’
I saw Christabel’s face light up and she instantly abandoned the forkful of lemon drizzle cake that had been on its way to her mouth.
‘Really? When I mentioned it at the Breakfast Club a couple of days ago, I got the impression you thought you were too good for our little pantomime. What’s changed?’
I pursed my lips while I tried to think of an excuse. I didn’t want to tell her that I’d stopped performing after my boyfriend died and that the thought of going back to it terrified me. There had been more than enough gossip about that when I’d come back to Luna Bay, and I wasn’t sure Christabel was the understanding type. A little improvisation was called for.
‘I was…shocked, I guess, that you wanted me to be a part of your production!’ I was completely aware that my voice had risen by about three octaves, but there was nothing I could do about it. ‘I mean, the panto’s a pretty significant event on the Luna Bay calendar right? So if you’ll have me, I’d love to take part in it. Backstage only though – I don’t act any more.’
Christabel nodded slowly and looked like she wasn’t sure whether to believe I was sincere or not. ‘Well, it would be an amazing coup for us to have a real Broadway actress on board. And there are quite a few backstage roles up for grabs because we’ve had some dropouts. Tell you what, why don’t you come along to our rehearsal tonight and we’ll see where we can slot you in? It’s in the theatre at seven. Be sharp though; I don’t tolerate latecomers.’
I smiled and nodded. ‘Wouldn’t dream of it!’
*
To say Mum was ecstatic when I told her would be a gross understatement.
‘What part do you think they’ll have you playing?’ she babbled over the phone when I called to give her the good news. ‘You’d make a lovely Cinderella; I remember seeing you in, what was it, Sleeping Beauty? You looked lovely in all those gorgeous dresses! I hope they don’t make you one of the ugly sisters just because you’ve joined late.’
‘Sorry to disappoint you, but I asked for a backstage role!’ I wedged the phone between my ear and shoulder as I fired up the laptop to do more research on Ethan Fox. That touching comment he’d made about me was still floating around my mind, much to my surprise. ‘All the good parts have probably gone and I haven’t been on stage for years. I can still hand out programmes or help with the hair and make-up though.’
My eyes scanned the laptop for articles or interviews I might’ve missed the first time around. Most of the articles painted him as a cocky womaniser, which was completely at odds with my impression of him at Fox’s. I wasn’t sure why Ethan had been popping up in my thoughts, or why I wanted to find out more about him. All I knew was that every time I replayed what he’d said to me, my face broke out into a smile.
Mum heaved out a sad sigh. ‘I was hoping to see you do your thing on stage, but being involved backstage is better than nothing, I guess.’
‘Trust me, I’d be rubbish; I’m so out of practice and I’d make the production even worse than it normally is. It’s probably a good thing that I’m going nowhere near the stage!’
‘You know, you actually sound quite excited about this,’ she remarked. ‘If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were looking forward to it.’
A loud snort was my response, followed by: ‘I think you’re getting a bit ahead of yourself! I’m taking part in the village panto; that doesn’t mean I’ll be booking West End auditions or heading off on touring productions. This is just me dipping my toe in the water again, that’s all. Although I have to admit, I’m a little bit excited about being part of a production again. Even if it is one as disastrous as the Luna Bay Christmas pantomime.’
*
As per Christabel’s precise instructions, I turned up to rehearsals at seven p.m. sharp. The Silver Bells Theatre, like all other buildings in Luna Bay, was utterly charming – with its vaulted ceiling, stained-glass windows and friendly, cosy atmosphere. The fat red velvet seats were in need of a little TLC, but the stage was beautiful. A huge hexagon that commanded the attention of the entire space, it was a performer’s dream. I could almost imagine standing on it and looking out at an audience just waiting to be entertained…
‘Good, you’re here.’ Christabel’s booming voice broke through my thoughts and dragged me back to the present. ‘The performers haven’t arrived yet, which is typical, so I’ve got time to take you through our vacant backstage roles.’
All I could do was nod before she launched into a diatribe about all the positions that needed to be filled and why the people who’d previously occupied them had left.
‘People around here don’t seem to realise that you need a thick skin to be in show business. Honestly, the set designer walked out because I said his ballroom scene looked like something even Jackson Pollock wouldn’t put his name on! Some people can’t handle constructive criticism. Luckily, you understand what it means to be a true artiste! Although I must say I’m surprised that you don’t want to take an on-stage role in the production. Surely, a serious actress like you must feel the call to perform?’
I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat and prepared to roll out the stock excuse I used whenever this came up. ‘My heart just wasn’t in it any more. That’s why I quit.’
Christabel whipped round to look at me at a rate of knots, almost causing her styled brown crop of hair to fall out of place.
‘I can’t imagine ever not wanting to be on stage any more. I think that’s why this time of year is so important to me; I get the chance to release my inner director. I like to think of myself as the Nora Ephron of Luna Bay. Places, everybody; enter stage right and all that!’
She bounded up the little set of wooden steps and took to the stage, strutting around it for a brief, unguarded moment and barking directorial orders, before she remembered where she was.
‘Yes, well anyway…’ She cleared her throat and straightened her tweed jacket. ‘You can choose your own role, really. Would you like to paint sets or maybe help with costume changes? We’re really short on bodies, so any help you give would be appreciated. Or maybe you’d like to meet the cast first?’
‘Well, I—’
Christabel cut me off by summoning the cast members onto the stage. There were five in total, although I had the sneaking suspicion there had been a lot more once upon a time. There was a pretty girl with ginger curls, a guy who looked like a Vogue model, a middle-aged lady and two girls who looked like they were twins. None of them looked particularly enthused, not like actors normally did when they were on stage. It didn’t take a genius to work out that they were one unhappy bunch.
‘Everyone, we have an artiste in our midst! This is Alice Woods and she’s a famous Broadway performer; she’s come to take part in our little production. Say hello, everyone.’
Five pairs of eyes homed in on me and I began to feel very awkward. I did a silly little wave and said hello, sounding like an eighties’ aerobics instructor. A discordant greeting rose from the gathered crowd.
Christabel stood at the far left of the crowd and began slowly walking down the line-up.
‘This is Eileen, our wicked stepmother. Lauren is our Cinderella, Callum is playing the handsome prince, and Angie and Helen are our brilliant ugly sisters.’
She gestured to each one in turn as she introduced them and they each did their own individual greeting when they were called upon. Most just waved or smiled but Callum, aka Prince Charming, blew a kiss in my direction and winked at me. After I returned his smile, he came down the steps and walked up to me.
‘It’s a pleasure to meet you, Alice. My name’s Callum Stone and on behalf of everyone, I’d like to welcome you to the Silver Bells Theatre.’
He bent his head low and kissed my hand. I gasped in surprise and tried to ignore the goosebumps snaking their way across my skin. Out the corner of my eye, I saw the woman named Lauren’s face fall a little.
‘Well it’s lovely to meet you all,’ I replied, trying to hide my obvious blush. ‘Just tell me where you want me! I’m happy to do anything.’
I felt an all-too-familiar buzz being in a theatre again, although I didn’t want to admit it. I was very aware that an important person – my boyfriend, my best friend, my partner in crime – was missing. Doing something he loved when he wasn’t there to enjoy it with me made my insides twist into knots. Silently, I cursed my mum for convincing me this was a good idea, and myself for coming in the first place. However, as I stared around the little theatre, I began to feel the old rush of magic I’d always felt when treading the boards. Although the prospect of being involved in the theatre again filled me with dread, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all.
*
Since the production was so short-staffed, Christabel and I agreed that I’d help out wherever I could. That night involved painting the sets for the chateau scenes. Armed with the world’s stubbiest paintbrush and some very watery paint, I set about creating the chateau’s sweeping grand staircase.
As I worked, I couldn’t help but listen in on the rehearsal. Well, the parts of the rehearsal that weren’t dominated by Christabel barking orders at people anyway. The poor actors couldn’t get more than a few lines out without her interrupting them with her “creative suggestions”.
‘Lauren, for goodness’ sake, you’re supposed to be a downtrodden servant girl and you’re prancing round the stage like you’re a Disney princess! You need to identify with your character; what are her struggles and motivations? Eileen, your wicked stepmother is about as fierce as a newborn kitten! And, Callum, don’t get me started on how utterly weak your handsome prince is. He’s supposed to be the hero of the story, not a bystander who just sits back and watches the story unfold!’
A collection of moans and groans followed Christabel’s critique and I was sure I heard someone murmur, ‘Get a life, you silly cow.’
‘Enough!’ Her voice was a loud bark that bounced off every corner of the room. ‘Now, since we can’t seem to get any of the scenes right, let’s do some drama exercises instead. Come on now, let’s all pretend to be trees. Chop chop!’
That got her another load of complaints from the cast, who reminded her that opening night was just a month away and they’d hardly rehearsed any of the scenes.
‘We’re going to look stupid up there,’ the girl named Lauren grumbled. ‘Just like we always do!’
‘Nonsense!’ Christabel clapped her hands and joined the actors on stage. ‘Now, imagine you’re a tree with branches reaching up to the sun.’
So they’d have an example to follow – although I couldn’t imagine why they’d need one – Christabel stood at the front of the stage and contorted herself into some weird shape that looked nothing like a tree. Everyone else looked around in sheer bewilderment, probably wondering what any of this had to do with putting on a pantomime.
‘Are you all reaching for the sun?’ she asked, pushing her fingertips even further towards the ceiling. ‘Remember, you have to let your branches soar up to the sky!’
I shook my head as I carried on painting the staircase. I’d worked with countless would-be directors who thought techniques like this actually worked. Then, when it came to opening night and none of the cast knew what they were doing, the director would blame them!
I wondered if I should step in and give Christabel some pointers, but decided not to. They probably wouldn’t go over very well and she’d see it as the Broadway actress storming in and taking over. The last thing I needed was this panto giving me any aggro. I’d come here to try and move on with my life after the worst three years imaginable, not to incur Christabel’s wrath.
As Christabel instructed the now thoroughly pissed-off actors to pretend they were feathers, I stifled a giggle. It was pretty safe to say that the Silver Bells Christmas pantomime was going to be every bit as awful as it always was.
*
In a way, I was glad when the rehearsal finished. Watching Christabel pretty much waste everybody’s time for an hour and a half had been quite painful. They hadn’t done much rehearsing at all, what with all the pretending to be trees and feathers. After all that malarkey, she’d instructed each of them to write a one thousand word essay on their character and have it ready by the next rehearsal.
I was just putting away my paintbrush and preparing to leave when I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Lauren.
‘Hi, erm, I hope you don’t mind me coming over to say hello! So you’re Alice Woods.’
‘Um…yeah that’s me!’ I raised my paintbrush in a funny sort of salute. Why did I have to be so damn awkward?
‘I’m Lauren Baker.’ She reached forward and grabbed my arm, making my paintbrush clatter to the floor. ‘I saw you on stage in New York when you were in Hairspray; you were amazing as Penny Pingleton! I just thought I’d come over and say hello properly, since there wasn’t time earlier.’
I gently prised my arm out of her vice-like grip and smiled, flipping some of my dark brown hair away from my face.
‘Thanks, that was a while ago now!’ I’d never been good at taking a compliment and nowadays, I was worse than ever.
‘You inspired me to follow my dreams.’ Lauren’s chocolate-brown eyes were now the size of dinner plates. ‘I mean, look at you; you’re from Luna Bay and you’ve achieved amazing things. You’ve performed all over the world! I want to do the same one day, just have to get out of the village first. Ooh, and you’ve got lovely hair!’
She reached out to touch it, but I managed to deftly duck out of the way. ‘Um…thank you again! Anyway, I need to get going; lots to do and all that…’
Lauren sighed and twirled a strand of bright auburn hair round her finger. ‘I’m sorry, I can be a bit…overenthusiastic sometimes! It’s just when I saw you on stage, it made me realise that I wanted to do that for the rest of my life. You were just so…alive, I guess. Like you could really tell you belonged up there – know what I mean? You’ve probably been asked this, like, hundreds of times already, but why are you here painting our sets and not off on some glitzy world tour or something? Didn’t something awful happen to you? I remember hearing rumours when you came back to Luna Bay that something terrible had happened in New York.’
My stomach twisted itself into knots as I tried to think of an answer that didn’t include “my boyfriend died so I stopped performing”. In a way, I was glad she didn’t know the full story: I’d had enough concerned head tilts and pats on the arm to last me several lifetimes.
‘I…’ The words I wanted to say stuck in my throat. ‘I guess I just didn’t have the heart for it any more. But you were great up there when Christabel let you do your stuff!’
