Читать книгу Just The Way You Are - Lynsey James - Страница 8

Chapter 1

I’ve hated weddings for as long as I can remember.

Everything about them sets my teeth on edge: the meringue-like wedding dresses, the cheesy first dance, the dreaded walk down the aisle and especially the quiet notion that the marriage will be over in a few months’ time. At those weddings, it can feel like all the fuss is for nothing, given that the happy couple will soon be battling it out in divorce court to see who keeps the cat.

So as you can imagine, I was less than thrilled to find myself as a bridesmaid at my mum’s seventh – yes, seventh wedding.

As the organ began to play the all-too-familiar bridal march, I walked down the aisle, clutching my bouquet of lilies so tightly that my knuckles turned white. I tried to keep my gaze on where I was heading, but couldn’t resist throwing sideways glances at the guests gathered in St Mark’s Church. Everyone on my mum’s side of the room gazed at me with a nostalgic fondness that misted their eyes and made them whisper shared stories with each other. On Boring Brian’s side, however, I was regarded with a silent suspicion. They’d made no secret about the fact they hated their beloved son’s choice of bride. It wasn’t her multiple marriages that bothered them though, it was me. I’d overheard his mum and dad talking about it at the engagement party.

‘She could’ve been married as many times as Zsa Zsa bloody Gabor for all I care; I don’t want our Brian having to bring up another man’s kid!’ his mum Rosemary had sniped.

At the time, I’d wanted to point out that at twenty-six, I didn’t need “bringing up”, least of all from Boring Brian, but I’d left it. No matter what my opinion of him and his awful family was, he seemed to make Mum happy. God knew she deserved it, after some of the things she’d been through.

I dragged my thoughts back to the present moment; namely so I could concentrate on not tripping over my teal bridesmaid’s dress. Mum would never forgive me if I ruined her big moment. The weight of everyone’s stares began to freak me out and I thought about sprinting the rest of the way to the altar. If there was one thing I hated, it was being the centre of attention.

Luckily, as I approached the end of my journey, I saw two familiar and very welcome faces: my best friends Max and Gwen. They’d both craned their necks to see me walk down the aisle and were both grinning like Cheshire cats. I breathed a sigh of relief as I reached the altar: I could never have got through today without them. When I took my place, I caught Max’s eye and he winked at me.

After the rest of the bridesmaids and the flower girls and pageboy had all walked in, everybody stood up and turned their attention to the back of the church. My mum was about to make her grand entrance. She appeared at the church doors and I couldn’t help but smile; she looked absolutely beautiful. Her ivory dress was made of satin, not at all meringue-like and elegant in an understated way. Yep, I thought, this was my favourite out of all her wedding dresses. Her face was perfectly composed as she floated down the aisle, despite looks of disapproval from her soon-to-be mother-in-law.

‘At least she didn’t have the nerve to wear white,’ I heard her mutter to her husband Brian Senior.

The muscles in my jaw clenched as I fought the urge to say something. I wasn’t exactly thrilled to be part of their family, but at least I had the decency to keep my mouth shut about it.

Mum reached the altar and a bright, beaming smile swept across her face when she saw Boring Brian. His round face was beetroot red with excitement and I could see the joy in his tiny blue eyes despite his glasses being steamed up. All in all, he reminded me of a Percy Pig sweet.

They faced each other at the altar and the minister motioned for the congregation to sit down.

‘Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the marriage of Theresa Kathleen Clements and Brian Harold Ford…’

The ceremony went without a hitch. Nobody burst through the church doors, begging Mum not to go through with it (that had happened at wedding number four though; the guy ended up being husband number five). After the happy couple said “I do”, we all went to a local hotel for the reception. While my mum and Brian were being congratulated by hordes of guests, I sloped off to join my two best friends for a much-needed drink.

‘Vodka and lemonade, no ice,’ Max said when I got to the bar. He held the glass out for me to take.

‘You’re a lifesaver!’ I took it from him and gulped it down in one go.

‘Easy tiger, they’ve not even had their first dance yet!’ Gwen motioned to the unbelievably hot bartender for another drink.

‘If I never go to another wedding, it’ll be too soon!’ I heaved a sigh and slipped off the horribly uncomfortable white court shoes I’d been wearing all day. The leather had made my feet swell up and my heels had rubbed against the back, so I had two beautiful blisters. Thanks Mum.

‘You’re a bit of an expert at these, aren’t you Munchkin?’ Max slung an arm round my shoulder and pulled me in for a hug.

‘That’s an understatement! I’m sure I must be half wedding cake by now.’

Gwen handed me another drink, like a best friend should. ‘So Boring Brian’s your stepdad now. How are you feeling about that?’

I shrugged and pulled a noncommittal face. Try as I might, I just couldn’t summon up any strong emotions towards Boring Brian. His mum made my blood boil, but he was the very definition of ‘meh’.

‘As long as my mum’s happy, I’m not too bothered either way,’ I replied. ‘His main hobbies are flying toy airplanes and building model railways, so he won’t be out pulling women at the pub any time soon!’

‘Never mind Brian; we need to get you out to do some pulling!’ said Gwen. She linked her arm with mine and scanned the room. ‘See anyone you fancy? Hunky best man or a cute usher maybe? I like that blond one over there with the grey waistcoat.’

I laughed. ‘The best man’s fifty-four years old and all the ushers are from Brian’s side of the family, so they have the personalities of sports socks.’

Gwen was determined not to give up. ‘OK, so what about guests then? Surely there’s got to be blokes here you’re not related to or who take after Boring Brian!’

‘Leave it eh? I’m not going on a pulling mission at my own mother’s wedding.’

She sighed and her shoulders slouched with disappointment. ‘Suit yourself babe, but you’ve been single forever. You need to get back out there before you end up alone with ten cats.’

My insides bristled, though I tried not to show it. I knew she had good intentions but my romantic life was a sensitive topic, as she knew full well.

‘Not with half my team at the restaurant interested in her, she won’t! Whenever she comes in, a fight breaks out over who’ll make her pear crumble.’ Max winked and gave my shoulder a squeeze.

I felt my face flush with pleasure. I knew he was probably lying, but I appreciated the gesture.

Before I could thank him, DJ Maurice’s voice boomed out across the reception hall, telling everyone it was time for Mr and Mrs Ford’s first dance as husband and wife. Gwen made a beeline for Grey Waistcoat Guy and I took it as my cue to slope off. It was never easy being single at a wedding; having chronically bad luck with men just made it worse.

As I made for the exit, Max grabbed my hand.

‘Oh no you don’t Munchkin. I seem to remember when we were at your mum’s last wedding, you promised me a dance at the next one. This is the next one, so I’m holding you to it.’

‘Max, you know I can’t dance. Why don’t you go and dance with one of the bridesmaids or something?’

He smiled. ‘You are one of the bridesmaids.’

A look into his deep brown eyes and I knew I couldn’t say no. Reluctantly, I let him lead me onto the dance floor as Make You Feel My Love by Adele began to play. He put his hands on my waist, I wrapped my arms round his neck and we gently swayed to the music. As Adele said she would hold someone for a million years, I stepped on Max’s foot.

‘Sorry, I’m like a bloody elephant on the dance floor!’ I dropped my gaze down to my clumsy feet as I felt my cheeks flush furiously.

‘You’re doing great! I can’t feel my toes but I’m still having a good time.’

I looked up and saw a warm smile sweep across his face.

‘Listen,’ he continued. ‘I saw your face when Gwen started going on about your love life. She means well, you know, she just wants you to be happy.’

I nodded and let out a deep breath. ‘I am happy though. I’ve got great mates, a cool flat and if I’m lucky, I’ll land my dream job tomorrow.’

‘Ah so tomorrow’s the big day, is it?’

‘Sure is. I’ve got my mood-board ready and prepared my pitch; all I need to do now is not vomit while I’m delivering it!’

Max took my hand, twirled me outwards then brought me back into him.

‘I know public speaking isn’t your favourite thing in the world Ava, but you’ll be fine. In fact, no – you’ll bloody ace it because that’s what you do.’

‘Cheers. Fancy meeting me and Gwen at The Dog and Duck tomorrow? You’ll either be helping me celebrate or drown my sorrows.’

He pretended to think for a minute then nodded. ‘How can I say no to that? Oh, do you mind if I bring Amira?’

My jaw clenched tightly. I wanted to say yes, as a matter of fact I do mind if you bring her. She might be a stunningly beautiful lingerie model, but she has the personality of a cabbage and is a right nasty bitch at times. I had no idea how she’d managed to capture my best friend’s heart three months ago: I suspected witchcraft of some kind.

However, I said ‘Why not? The more the merrier!’

Max grinned broadly and embraced me as the song ended. ‘You’re a star, Munchkin!’

Just then, a voice from the front of the room burst through the temporary silence.

‘Well, well, well, isn’t this cosy?’

I turned my head and saw that Amira had just glided into the reception hall, clad in a gold silk gown that accentuated her natural curves. Her long dark hair fell around her shoulders and her caramel skin looked fresh and dewy.

Max dropped me like a hot potato and went over to her, like she was drawing him in with some kind of magnetic field.

‘You look amazing…’ The rest of what he said was lost as she pulled him close for a passionate kiss.

I took this as my cue to leave and went off in search of three things: Gwen, vodka and a way out of the reception.

By the end of the night, I’d found two out of three – which, as Meat Loaf said, ain’t bad. I’d located Gwen after she’d scurried out of the cloakroom with Grey Waistcoat Guy, and the nice guy at the bar had kept me supplied with vodka and lemonades. Yet as I sat on the couch while my best friend snogged the face off Grey Waistcoat Guy, I felt that something was definitely missing. There was an ache somewhere deep inside me and I wasn’t sure how to heal it. I was asked to dance by no less than five men, including Max when Amira went to powder her nose, but I turned them all down.

None of them were him and he was all I wanted, all I’d ever want.

Sadly, he remained frustratingly out of reach.