Читать книгу Betrayal - Maggie Cox, Maggie Cox - Страница 10

‘I don’t date because my main priority is Nancy.’ Brenna swung away, returning to her armchair to pick up the black cashmere stole she’d draped round her shoulders; shoulders that were now drooping with tiredness and something that felt like a scant heartbeat away from defeat. ‘And anyway, working two jobs I don’t get time to date.’

‘So there’s been no one since Nick?’

‘That’s what I said.’

‘You’re asking me to believe that no man has shown an interest in you in five long years?’

Brenna didn’t say ‘they don’t get the chance’. She knew how it would sound and already Fin Malone must be thinking she was an uptight candidate for therapy of some kind.

‘I’m not interested in casual relationships. Do you really think I’d put my daughter through that? Besides, I can do without male company. I can do without … without …’ Her eyes shied away from Fin’s penetrating glance with growing embarrassment. ‘I can do without the physical side of things. First and foremost I’m a mother, Fin. That’s my priority.’

A burst of heat warmed his blood at the sound of his name on her lips. He was getting in deep here and that was the last thing he’d ever planned to do when Nick had approached him about preceding him to the UK. ‘Keep an eye on her for me,’ he’d said, ‘don’t antagonize her. Sweet talk her if you have to. I know your powers of persuasion with women are legendary.’ Fin groaned inwardly at the memory. He liked women. He’d always liked women … even though there’d been no one special in his life since Sam. But he’d never persuaded a woman to do something she didn’t want to do in the whole of his thirty-six years and he wasn’t about to start.

‘You’re a woman too, Brenna,’ he told her now. ‘A very beautiful and very desirable woman, with needs to match.’

‘I don’t need the complications that kind of thing inevitably brings. Nancy is my priority. She didn’t ask to be here. I brought her into the world because I gave into needs I should have controlled. Because I let Nick Balcon flatter me and cajole me, let him make me think I was important to him when all the time … all the time he was just using me. He was a clever, educated man and I fooled myself I was his equal because I had his regard … big mistake.’

Disparagingly discarding her stole, Brenna dropped tiredly down into the armchair. Pressing her fingers into her brow, she glanced up at Fin, unable to disguise the hurt that she knew must show in her eyes.

‘Please don’t think for one second that I’ve ever regretted having Nancy. I’ve loved her from the moment I first set eyes on her. She means everything to me. That’s why I can’t let Nick use his money and influence to get joint custody. Back then, he told me in no uncertain terms that he had no room in his life for children. He had plans, he said. He didn’t want to be encumbered by too much emotional baggage. I felt like he’d ripped out my heart then spat on it when he said that. I hadn’t exactly been thinking wedding bells, but I’d had hopes. What young woman wouldn’t? Anyway, I’m sure you don’t want to hear all this. It’s enough for you to know that I’m hurt and confused about what Nick may have planned. I just don’t understand why he would want to stake a claim on Nancy after all this time, I really don’t.’

Fin knew part of the answer and wished he didn’t. But it wasn’t his place to tell Brenna. That particular ball was definitely in Nick’s court. The fact that Fin was now having second thoughts about the wisdom of his friend’s decision was neither here nor there. He’d wait until Nick arrived tomorrow and then be on his way. Why stay here and probably buy more trouble than he needed? There was no need for him to linger. He had a month’s leave ahead of him and intended to tour around for a while and see some of the famed European sights.

‘Hey. I don’t know about you, but I’m hungry. It’s not too late to go down and get dinner. I had a word with the maître d’ on the way up here. What do you say we call a truce for now and just enjoy a meal together? It can’t hurt, can it?’

‘Okay.’

‘Just okay?’ His lips quirking in amusement, Fin couldn’t contain his surprise. ‘What? No fight?’

Getting to her feet, Brenna shrugged. ‘Shocking, isn’t it? Who would have thought that a girl like me could be so compliant?’

Fin almost strained his stomach muscles with the fierce rush of need that tore through him just then. If only … he thought with an inward groan, his eyes drifting helplessly from the gorgeous raven-haired beauty in front of him towards the door of the bedroom and back again. There were other types of hunger he’d like to feed right now but that could only happen with Brenna’s willing cooperation and it wasn’t something he envisaged happening easily, if at all. Still, he imagined the fantasy would keep him nicely warm all the way through dinner …

‘More wine?’

‘No thanks. I feel light-headed enough as it is.’ Brenna watched Fin replenish his own glass. Truth to tell, she was feeling replete and relaxed after the fabulous meal they’d just eaten, more relaxed than she would ever have dreamt was possible given the gravity of her situation – and that was due to the fact that Fin Malone was a surprisingly entertaining dinner companion. He’d regaled her throughout the meal with both humorous and breathtaking tales of his years as a stuntman and Brenna had been so transfixed by his stories that she’d scarcely spared Nick Balcon a thought.

Leaning back against his seat as he cradled his wineglass between long tanned fingers, Fin gave her a lazy smile. ‘Now it’s your turn,’ he told her.

‘What?’

‘I mean for you to tell me something about yourself. What prompted you to become a dance teacher, for instance?’

‘Love of music and movement. My mum says I was dancing almost before I could walk. It was something that came very naturally to me so when it came to deciding what to do as a career, it seemed the perfect solution.’ Reaching for the water jug, Brenna poured herself a glass. Now that the meal was over and she seemed to have commanded Fin’s full and undivided attention, she was suddenly uneasy.

‘And that’s how you met Nick? When you were teaching?’ he asked.

‘I’m sure he’s filled you in on all the details.’ Her face grew hot at the very idea.

Her defences were up again – the ten-foot-high gates padlocked and the key thrown away.

‘Obviously not in the way that you imply.’ Fin returned his wineglass to its smart coaster, compelling her to meet his enigmatic gaze. ‘He told me you were beautiful, irresistible. He didn’t lie.’

The compliment tingled between them like little sparks of electricity as Brenna struggled hard not to let down her guard. ‘Well, clearly I wasn’t that irresistible or he wouldn’t have left,’ she retorted smartly.

‘Do you really believe he never regretted that?’ Fin questioned her. He’d already privately concluded that perhaps his friend wasn’t as smart as he gave him credit for.

‘I doubt it. Nick always knew what he wanted. He was very definite about going to America and making a name for himself as a director, and who could blame him? He had the talent and the drive. He’s amply proved that, hasn’t he? He’s got a very successful career so what’s to regret? That he left behind a twenty-two-year-old girl he had a meaningless fling with? I don’t think so.’

Lowering her eyes, she reached for her glass of water and took a sip. Please God, don’t let him see that my hands are shaking, she thought as she swallowed. I can’t keep coming undone like this at every single question he asks me.

‘He never told me it was meaningless. Having met you I couldn’t begin to imagine that for even a second. It must have been a real wrench for him to leave you behind – whatever he may have told you at the time.’

‘Well.’ Brenna shrugged, her expression carefully veiled. ‘It’s all water under the bridge, as they say. All that concerns me now is Nancy’s welfare. Why are you smiling?’

‘I’m wondering what that beautiful twenty-two-year-old dance teacher was like back then … wondering what she was like before she became prickly and so guarded that it would take one hell of a determined suitor to scale those walls and get behind her carefully erected defences. I’m wondering how many have tried and failed?’

‘I told you,’ her dark lashes fluttered against her too-warm cheeks, ‘I don’t date. There haven’t been any suitors, determined or otherwise.’

‘I don’t believe you. My guess is that you freeze out any guy who even tries.’

Fin’s evenly voiced statement was so close to the truth that for a moment Brenna didn’t know what to say. Anguish flared inside her at the painful memory of more than a couple of hurtful male taunts she’d had in her time since Nicholas. ‘Frigid’ seemed to be a favourite. ‘Ice-maiden’ was another. Men didn’t respond well to rejection, she’d found. Especially when they thought she should be grateful for the attention, being a single mum and all.

‘Of course you’re entitled to believe whatever you want to believe, Mr Malone. Far be it from me to try to convince you otherwise when you so clearly know the answer to everything. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m very tired. I think I’ll go to bed.’

Dropping her pristine starched napkin onto the table as she rose to her feet, Brenna couldn’t prevent herself from feeling upset. Getting to his feet at almost the same time, Fin’s relentlessly blue eyes fixed her with a penetrating stare as she went to turn away. To her shock, his hand came out and encircled her wrist firmly.

‘Don’t shut me out, Brenna. I think you’ll find I don’t give up as easily as some of the other men you might have met.’

‘Is that some kind of a threat?’ She glared back at him, even as her skin turned almost feverishly hot beneath his touch.

His blue eyes narrowed meaningfully. ‘It’s a promise. And when you get to know me better, you’ll realize that I’m a man of my word. When I make a promise I always make sure I keep it. Honour and integrity are commodities I don’t take lightly.’

When you get to know me better …

Fin’s words rang worryingly in Brenna’s head as she buttered her triangular slice of toast with unnecessary force. Of all the conceited, arrogant— Her thoughts broke off as she glanced round the scarcely populated elegant dining room. She’d risen early as she normally did at home, surprisingly hungry considering she’d eaten late last night. But breakfast was one meal she always made sure she had. Her work demanded a lot of energy and food really was fuel, as far as she was concerned. But now, now she really was on tenterhooks and not simply in anticipation of Nick’s arrival.

She and Fin Malone hadn’t exactly got off to a good start and that kiss they’d shared yesterday had presented her with another problem she hadn’t dreamt of anticipating in a million years – plain and simple lust. The need to act with a modicum of common sense had flown out the window as soon as he’d looked at her. Desire had drenched her with all the elemental power of an electrical summer storm and all she could do now was groan at the lack of self-control she’d displayed. She’d been utterly mad to encourage Fin’s kiss whether he’d aroused her or not. The sooner she dealt with her business with Nick, the sooner she could go home to Nancy and never see Fin Malone again, she vowed.

‘Something told me you were an early riser.’

With a guilty start, Brenna abandoned the toast on her plate to glance up into teasing blue eyes that were a mesmerizing blend of sea and sky. Dressed casually in a light blue chambray shirt and faded jeans, the mere sight of Fin Malone reduced all of her recently made vows to confetti.

‘Force of habit,’ she mumbled, inadvertently taking an over-anxious sip of too-hot coffee. Fin pulled out the chair opposite and drew himself up to the table. A soft-footed waiter appeared as if out of nowhere and took his order for breakfast. Brenna waited until the man had gone before speaking again.

‘I don’t suppose you’ve heard from Nick yet?’

To her surprise, her arresting companion breathed out a long drawn-out sigh. A disconcerting mental tussle seemed to be going on behind his riveting blue gaze that made her stomach anxiously cartwheel. What now? Please don’t let it be bad news …

‘The reason Nick hasn’t shown up is because there’s been some difficulty back home.’

‘Difficulty? What do you mean?’ She tried so hard to remain calm but it wasn’t easy to keep a lid on her anger at the cavalier way Nick had so far kept her dangling and now she was impatient for Fin to enlighten her with an explanation.

‘I don’t suppose you’ve had a chance to look at the papers this morning?’ he asked.

‘The newspapers, you mean?’ She frowned. ‘No. I try to avoid them as much as possible. Too much negativity … Why?’

Sitting up straight, Fin raked his fingers through his freshly showered hair as if mulling over the best way to tell her his news. When Brenna heard what he had to say there would be no chance she would ever let her guard down round him again … none. Already he found he was mourning the loss of that precious chance.

‘There’s no way I can cushion this so I’ll just have to tell you straight. Nick got married two days ago and since then the Press has been on his tail morning, noon and night. He just hasn’t been able to get away as easily as he hoped he might.’

Nick … married? Brenna’s stomach muscles clenched tight as if warding off a blow. Tension coiled between her shoulder blades, and she strove hard to get a grip on a tumult of emotions. She’d known a long time ago that he was never coming back to her – any hope that he might had finally been obliterated on the day of her daughter’s birth when she had gazed into Nancy’s innocent infant eyes and realized she was the most important thing in her life now. It didn’t matter if she never set eyes on Nicholas Balcon for the rest of her life. Still, it was a shock to suddenly learn that he’d got married.

Examining the firmly implacable set of Fin’s chiselled jawline, Brenna wondered if he’d known all along that his friend was planning on getting wed the day before coming to England to stake a claim on his child? But of course he knew … he was Nick’s friend, wasn’t he?

‘You should have told me before,’ she said quietly, dark eyes pained. ‘Why didn’t you?’

Good question, why hadn’t he? Perhaps it was due to a misguided sense of loyalty? At any rate, now Brenna had another good reason to view him with suspicion. Damn.

‘The plan was for Nick to be here and tell you himself.’

‘Well, he’s put you in a rather uncomfortable position now, hasn’t he?’ Forcing a smile to lips that felt strangely frozen, Brenna glanced round at the other hotel guests who had slowly started to enter the dining room for breakfast. She wished she could be like one of them, she thought vehemently – just an ordinary woman taking a quiet break away from the daily grind like any other ‘normal’ person. Instead, she was here under duress and suffering all kinds of agony because once upon a time she’d believed a man loved her …

‘I didn’t realize he was so famous that the Press would hound him like that,’ she said quietly, dragging her gaze away from Fin’s to stare down at her now cold piece of toast with a sinking heart.

‘It’s not totally because of Nick,’ Fin reluctantly confessed, wishing he could spare her this added blow. ‘It’s because he married Andrea Denny – the movie star.’

Andrea Denny … the top of America’s ‘A’ list of screen actresses. No wonder the Press was on their trail. Brenna went hot then cold. Nick really had hit the big time, hadn’t he? Good luck to him … but only if he left her and Nancy alone.

‘Well, that’s that then, isn’t it?’

‘What do you mean?’

Was she going to break down, have a fit or storm off in a rage? Fin seriously hoped not. He didn’t want to see her any more distressed than she’d been already. One thing was certain, when he next set eyes on Nick, Fin was going to make sure the other man knew exactly what excruciating torment he had put his ex-girlfriend through. There was no way he was going to cushion the truth for him.

‘I mean, he obviously isn’t coming now, is he?’ The huge dark eyes in front of him glistened with what looked like sadness and resignation as her skin turned visibly pale. ‘It’s been a complete waste of time coming here. Why on earth would he arrange to meet me so soon after he got married anyway? I don’t understand. Shouldn’t he be on honeymoon or something?’

‘He was planning on honeymooning in Europe. The UK was going to be his first stop. I’m really sorry, Brenna. I didn’t expect to have to tell you all of this myself. I actually believed Nick would make it and tell you in person.’

‘I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it. It’s done now and I’m not as surprised by his behaviour as you might think I am. But the next time you see your infamous friend, please tell him from me to stay out of our lives. Nancy needs neither his money nor his interference. We’ve managed well enough without him all these years and we’ll continue to do so just as long as I have breath left in my body!

‘I’m serious about this. I know he has my mother’s address because that’s where he sent his letter, but he doesn’t know mine and that’s not something I’ll be divulging in a hurry. My mother won’t tell him either, so he needn’t waste his time trying.’

‘I’m afraid it’s not going to be as simple as that.’

The gravity of Fin’s rich transatlantic drawl made Brenna’s brown eyes widen in fear. Her mouth suddenly felt like it was full of sand.

‘What do you mean?’

‘I mean that the Press are going to hound you too when they find out you’ve got a child by Nick. Think about it. They’re especially going to have a field day if they get as much as a sniff of animosity between the pair of you. Things could get very awkward and unpleasant all round.’

‘No.’

But even as she uttered the word, Brenna knew it was futile. They lived in a world dominated more and more by the media. Anyone with so much as a hint of fame or a connection to somebody who did was fair game in their book. They didn’t care about the lives they disrupted or the misery their invasive intrusion inflicted on their targets. What would such an intrusion do to Nancy? Right now she was happily settled in her pre-school class and it hadn’t been easy making the transition between being looked after during the day by her grandmother, to joining a class of fifteen enthusiastic little four-year-olds in a completely new environment. Nancy had spent the first four weeks of term there in tears. To imagine that their already sometimes difficult lives were going to be even more disrupted was unspeakably horrible. Right now she could cheerfully strangle Nick. The waiter appeared at Fin’s side with his breakfast but the American waved him perfunctorily away.

‘Take it back. Just bring us some more coffee, could you? Brenna? Are you okay?’

Fighting off despair, she folded her arms wearily across the table.

‘Am I okay? This is like some horrible nightmare. I just want to go home and forget all about it but I can’t, can I?’

Meeting her hurt gaze head on, Fin despised himself right then. His discomfort deepened, took another uncomfortable dive then surfaced again leaving a trail of anger and profound regret in its wake. As much as he’d been loyal to his friend, Fin had had no idea what he was getting into when he’d agreed to do him this ‘small favour’. And it was only now when faced with the consequences of Nick’s behaviour that he realized what deep implications it had all round. Brenna didn’t deserve this. She’d done a damn good job as far as he could detect of bringing up their daughter alone. The last thing she needed right now was the kind of routine invasion of privacy that Nick and many of their colleagues had to contend with. This wasn’t Hollywood and she had every right to just be allowed to get on with her life unimpeded.

‘Nick’s enjoyed terrific success in his work. He directed two of the top box-office rated movies last year. He just reached a point where he knew it wasn’t the be all and end all, I guess … he wanted family. He wanted to finally know what it was really like to be a father. That’s what he told me, anyway. I honestly don’t believe he wants to hurt you, Brenna. It was Andrea who pressed him to bring their wedding date forward. They’d originally planned to get married in the spring. Knowing Nick, I can honestly say he wouldn’t have wanted things to get as complicated as this.’

‘That doesn’t help me or Nancy, does it?’

‘Look … why don’t you both try to get away for a while? Maybe even out of the country? At least until things die down a bit.’

The ache in Brenna’s throat got worse.

‘Get away? It’s impossible. I have to work, Fin. I’m our total means of support – mine, Nancy’s and my mother’s.’

‘Nothing’s impossible,’ he answered. ‘I’m on a month’s leave. I’d planned to tour round the country for a while before heading off to see a bit of Europe. I’ve even rented a house. You and Nancy could come with me. You won’t have to worry about money. Whatever you need you can have, I mean it. I’m a wealthy man and I don’t have a family of my own to take care of. I’d gladly do this for you and the baby.’

Something tingled inside her at the way he referred to Nancy as the ‘baby’. It was the same term she often used herself when referring to her daughter. But acknowledging Fin’s kindness was one thing, accepting it was quite another. And in Brenna’s book it was totally out of the question.

‘None of this is even anything to do with you. You shouldn’t feel remotely responsible for our welfare. It’s bad enough that Nick would put you in such an untenable position in the first place. Thank you, but I can’t possibly accept your offer. Whatever happens concerning the Press I’ll just have to deal with it in the best way I can.’

Fin scowled. He found it almost unbearably painful that he had to tarnish her innocence with the tawdry truth.

‘You can’t possibly know what you’re letting yourself in for,’ he said. ‘Those people are about as mercenary as they come. They’d sell their own mothers to get a story! If you think you can appeal to their better natures, you’re wasting your time because they don’t even understand the concept. They’ll camp on your doorstep morning, noon and night, they’ll follow you to work … go wherever you go. You’ll have flashbulbs popping in your face every which way you turn. Listen to me, honey, I know what I’m talking about.’

It was a nightmare scenario he was painting for her and that was a fact. Moving her head despairingly from side to side, Brenna tried hard to ward off the unwanted images that were gathering like storm clouds inside her mind.