Читать книгу Down Home Cowboy - Maisey Yates - Страница 12
ОглавлениеALISON WAS ALL the way back at her apartment by the time she caught her breath. She hadn’t said goodbye to Violet. Hadn’t stayed to help her frost the cake. She was a terrible mentor. And she felt guilty. Very, very guilty.
But she’d had to get away from Cain.
What had she been doing? She had nearly... She had nearly kissed him.
She went over to the cupboard by her stove and opened it up. She took out a bottle of wine and poured herself a generous portion.
She took a sip, trying to get a handle on her shaking hands. But she couldn’t. She had to... She had to process all of this. She hadn’t been that close to a man in four years.
When he had reached out and grabbed her arm, it had scared her. It had felt like a flashback to something else. Back to someone else. But then he let go of her, easily and quickly. He’d been worried that he’d hurt her.
And then, well, then he had looked at her like she was something amazing. Something he’d never seen before, and all she had wanted to do was lean in to that.
She knocked back her glass of wine, taking a long, strong sip, her other hand braced on the counter. Was this a relapse? All it took was one burning look from a gorgeous man and she was ready to lie on the ground and write welcome across her chest?
No. It wasn’t the same thing. Not even remotely the same as the reasons she had hooked up with guys when she was in high school, why she had married Jared. That hadn’t ever been about physical desire, unfortunately.
That had been about her pathetic need to feel loved by someone. Anyone. In whatever shape that love would take.
This was different. She didn’t want Cain to love her. She had wanted him to press her down on that couch and kiss her until neither of them could breathe.
She took another gulp of wine.
It was difficult to figure out, right then, why kissing him would have been a bad idea. Why letting him lay her down on the couch and drive them both crazy would be such a terrible thing.
He was gorgeous. Like, honestly the hottest guy she had ever seen. She had never before wanted a guy just because she wanted him. Because she wanted to feel his hands on her skin. Because she wanted sex, not some kind of connection. Not some kind of solution to that howling, empty thing inside of her.
She wasn’t empty now. She had her bakery. She had all of the women that she had helped so far, and the women she was helping now. She had a good group of friends. She had her own apartment that she kept in exactly the manner she wanted.
She bought the kind of wine she liked and the kind of food she enjoyed. She no longer had to cook dinner promptly at five o’clock or face the possible ramification of having a dinner plate thrown at her head if it was too cold, or if she had done something wrong.
She could eat at eight if she wanted to. And she could cook whatever she wanted. Or she could go to a restaurant.
Yes, her life was in an entirely different place now than it had been a few years ago. She was a different person. Or, more accurately, she was the person that she should have been all along.
Too bad that person was starting to want sex.
She closed her eyes and thought back to that moment Cain had looked at her. The way he had touched her. The problem was, she wanted sex, and not an entanglement. It seemed to her that Cain’s life was a giant entanglement right now. Particularly with her own.
He was definitely the wrong person to experiment with. What she needed was an actual stranger. A man who would be in town only for a night. Someone she couldn’t possibly have any obligation to. Somebody whose life she couldn’t get drawn into.
She didn’t trust men, that much was true. But even more, she didn’t trust herself.
She wasn’t going to involve herself quite so personally in Violet’s affairs. Not anymore. She would not be taking any more trips up to the ranch. She needed to get some distance between herself and Cain Donnelly, that much was certain. Otherwise she was going to make a very bad decision that she would regret later.
Sure, it might be much later. After the heat and fire in her skin had abated to a slow burn. But, regret it she would.
She had too much regret in her life already. She wasn’t in the market for more.
* * *
CAIN REACHED THE top of the stairs and wished he had brought a bottle of whiskey up with him. And his brothers—damn them—were never around when he wanted them to be. They’d all gone out, and there had been no buffer between himself and Violet.
The night had been a disaster. Violet had ended up angry with him because Alison had left, and she had blamed him. Not incorrectly, but he wasn’t going to explain to his teenage daughter exactly what had happened.
Better to let her think he’d been unfriendly than...too friendly.
But all of this had resulted in an extremely sullen meal, followed by her storming off to her room a couple of hours ago.
He had done what he always did. He ignored it. He stayed downstairs until he was ready to collapse, and now he was headed to bed. He sighed heavily.
What he really wanted to do, more than anything, was call up Alison. Say screw responsibility and pass out after having an orgasm, instead of passing out after drinking too much. Alone.
But he couldn’t do that. First of all, because Alison had been the one to pull away from him—almost like she was afraid of him—before she had run out the door like she was most definitely afraid of him.
Also, because running away from home to go get laid while his daughter was pissed off at him was probably not the most adult or responsible thing to do. Of course, he’d just about had it with responsibility.
Still, there were no vacations from it when you had a child. Even if that child was close to being an adult, as Alison had so irritatingly pointed out to him earlier.
That pissed him off.
That she was right, mostly. That it didn’t erase the fact that he felt like he’d done the right thing earlier going in and trying to smooth things over for Violet, because she had obviously needed him to.
Alison was coming at it from the point of view of a boss, as somebody who helped people with training and independence and stuff. He just wanted his daughter to look at him like he wasn’t horrible.
He looked down the hall, toward Violet’s room. Maybe he had to talk to her. Maybe this whole giving her her space thing wasn’t the answer. He was so hesitant to make more waves, but it didn’t seem to be working.
Maybe he needed to make some waves. Maybe, in that way, Alison was right. Maybe he needed to push Violet harder, expect more from her.
He began to walk toward his room, then redirected. Tonight. They were going to talk tonight. He wasn’t going to tolerate any more of this silent treatment. He wasn’t going to accept any more of this being frozen out. No. It ended now.
He stopped in front of her door, hesitated for a moment and then knocked. There was no answer. “Violet?” He knocked again. Nothing.
Immediately, the image of her having some kind of medical episode flashed into his brain. Even if he had no idea what kind of medical episode it might be. He could see her, in his mind’s eye, crumpled on the floor, unable to answer him or move for some reason. He pushed the door open, fully unreasonable panic rioting through him.
And the bedroom was empty.
Her window was open. Up on the second floor.
“Shit. Shit. Shit.” He made his way over to the window, looked out, looked down. And he didn’t see anything. Didn’t see anyone. He had no idea where she could be, who she would have gone with. He didn’t even know why she would sneak out.
Suddenly, he felt like an idiot. Of course, he had imagined that she was hurt, or sick, or something. It had never occurred to him that she might sneak out. He didn’t think she knew anyone here in Copper Ridge, but he didn’t know that for certain. Of course he didn’t. He had never asked. He assumed that she was always texting friends back home, but for all he knew she was texting other kids here.
He didn’t know how many other times she had done this. He didn’t know what she was doing.
He tore back downstairs. “Finn!” He realized that his brother might already be upstairs, and he should have rattled some doors up there.
Alex came out of the living room, Liam following close behind. And Finn came down the stairs behind him. Finn was only half-dressed, and was likely coming from bed where Cain was reasonably certain his brother had left Lane.
“What’s up?” Finn asked.
“Violet’s gone.”
“What?” Finn asked, immediately looking concerned.
“What do you mean gone?” Alex asked.
“I mean I opened her bedroom door to check on her, and it looks like she climbed out the window. I don’t know where the hell she could be. I didn’t even know she knew anyone here.”
“Damn,” Liam said. “I guess things haven’t changed very much since I was in high school.”
Cain felt absolutely grim. “That’s not exactly comforting.”
“Okay, the first thing we should do is look around the property. The barn, and that kind of thing,” Finn said.
“I don’t know,” Cain said. “If she’s on the property then she’s safe enough. But what if she’s out somewhere else? And who’s driving? Who’s she with? What’s she doing?” None of the potential answers to those questions were any good, as far as he was concerned.
“I’ll tell you what,” Finn said. “Lane and I can canvas the ranch, you can go down into town.”
“We’ll go too,” Alex said.
“Yeah,” Liam added. “Actually, if there’s one thing I remember about spending summers here it’s where we used to party.”
“That’s actually helpful,” Cain told Liam. “Come on. Let’s go.”
“As soon as we’re done looking, we can join you in town,” Finn said.
“Great,” Cain said. “Text me.”
His brother nodded, then went upstairs, Cain assumed, to collect a shirt and his fiancée.
Outside, Cain waited impatiently for his brothers to climb in the truck, then started the engine and tore off down the driveway without any real sense of direction. “There was a barn that we used to party at,” Liam said. “On somebody’s property. But they didn’t use it anymore. We can always look there.”
“She doesn’t know anybody,” Cain said. “Nobody except for her boss.”
Alison. He had to call Alison.
He didn’t have her number. Great. He just had the bakery number. He didn’t know enough about his daughter. That was the refrain that played over and over in his mind while he drove down to town.
He dialed the bakery, let it ring. All he got was the machine.
“Text Finn and ask for Alison Davis’s cell number.” He barked the order at Liam.
Liam complied and about thirty seconds later, Cain dialed the mobile number and got a voice mail. Which wasn’t that surprising, considering she probably had to get up about as early in the morning as he did.
He bit back a curse and left a brief message all while driving down the main street scanning every building—for what, he didn’t know.
“Just keep driving,” Liam said. “Trust me. I’m pretty sure we can figure out where everybody congregates these days.”
“You really think nothing has changed since you were here getting drunk and banging local girls?” As soon as he said that, he cringed. Because his daughter could very well be getting drunk. And at this point, she was a local girl.
“I think kids are kids, and unless that old barn has been knocked down, it probably serves just as well as a party place as it did back in the day.”
He dialed Alison again. “Alison, this is Cain. I’m looking for Violet. She sneaked out tonight. I don’t know who any of her friends are, I don’t know who she talks to. So if you’ve seen anybody coming in and talking with her, I would appreciate information. Thanks.”
He left his phone number and threw the phone down onto the seat, cursing as he continued to drive. He followed Liam’s instructions, but wasn’t exactly aware of doing so. When they turned onto a dirt road, and he saw the old barn up ahead, light visible through the cracks in the boards, he knew that his brother had been right.
“How do you know these things I don’t?” he muttered as he pulled up to the barn.
“I just know what the troubled kids get up to.”
Great. That meant his daughter was a troubled kid. Just perfect.
He cut off the truck engine, pausing when his brothers climbed out after him. “I should probably go in alone, don’t you think?” Cain asked.
“Hell no,” Alex returned. “This is what family is for.”
Liam smiled at that, and the three of them walked up the dirt driveway to the barn. There was music thumping out from the old wooden structure, and he could hear laughter and high-pitched squeals.
He hoped that Violet was in there. He really did. Even though he was going to be angry, he really wanted her to be here. Because he didn’t know where else to look. Didn’t know where else to even begin. He didn’t want her to be here, but he so very desperately needed her to be.
“This is kind of exciting,” Liam said, smiling broadly. “I’ve never been on this side of a party being broken up before.”
“Well, I’m glad you’re enjoying this,” Cain responded.
“One of us has to.” And then Liam broke away from the group, striding to the barn and shoving the door open like he was Hawaii Fuckin’-Five-0. “All right. Break it up.” He turned back around and smiled at Cain. “Fun,” he said.
Cain moved deeper into the barn, along with Alex. There were kids everywhere, drinking, making out, doing God knew what else. He was trying not to look too closely.
“Are you the police, man?” Some kid with bloodshot eyes pointed that question at Liam.
“You wish I were the police,” Liam said. “As it is, I’m just a guy looking for his niece. And I’m probably meaner than any cop you’ve ever met. Her name is Violet. Dark hair, about this tall.” Liam held his hand up just beneath his chin.
“Look, man,” the guy said, “if you aren’t the police...”
And Cain was officially done with this bullshit.
He grabbed hold of the kid, turning and slamming him up against the barn wall. “Violet Donnelly. Do you know who she is? Do you know where she is?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know a girl named Violet.” The kid looked scared now, and Cain felt satisfied by that. Because he should be. Every little bastard in here should.
“There she is,” Alex said, pointing toward the back of the barn.
Some of the other kids had picked up on the fact that they were busted and were starting to flee the building like rats off a sinking ship. But not Violet. Because she was half reclining on a beanbag in the back, with some jackass plastered to her face.
Cain saw red.
“Violet Donnelly,” he shouted from across the barn, taking long strides over to where she was and grabbing the back of the kid’s T-shirt, hauling him off his daughter. “You get your ass out to the truck,” he said, ignoring the protests of the young man whose shirt he was still holding on to.
She blinked. “Dad?”
And that was when he realized that she was drunk. His daughter was drunk. And this guy had been kissing her.
“She’s been drinking,” he said, pushing the little dickhead pawing his daughter back. The kid swayed, and Cain figured he was drunk too. But that wasn’t going to stop Cain from teaching him a lesson he’d remember. “Let me tell you something, you little earthworm, if a woman’s not fully in her right mind, then you better back off. And if you have to get a woman drunk to get her into you? There’s something wrong with you in that case. And if you enjoy taking advantage of women, then you’re beyond help. Is that what you like?”
“No,” the kid said, “no.” He was visibly shaken and Cain was more than okay with that.
“Also, the issue here is, she is a girl. Not a woman. She’s sixteen, so I sure as hell hope you’re drinking underage in here.”
“I just... She likes me.”
“Well, that’s too bad for both of you, because you’re never going to see her again.” Maybe he was being unreasonable. At this point, he couldn’t tell. But he didn’t care either. All he wanted to do was light the place on fire, burn it to the ground. He wanted to leave nothing but ash and ruin in his wake.
Reasonable was for another day. Reasonable was for another moment. Reasonable was for another man.
“Dad,” Violet said, “you’re embarrassing me.” She wrapped her arms around her midsection and looked down, her dark hair falling into her face.
She was wearing some ridiculously tight minidress and chunky boots, and showing way too much skin for his liking.
He didn’t even know where to begin lecturing her.
“Oh, I have just started to embarrass you.” He turned around and faced the group of teenagers that remained. “All of you go home. All of you. Before I call the police and have you arrested for underage drinking. And, just in case you didn’t know, I’m Violet Donnelly’s father. That’s right. I’m her dad,” he said, pointing to her. “So, if you intend to hang out with her, you have to contend with me. I’m sure most of you won’t, but I feel like she won’t have lost any good friends.”
“Dad.” Violet pulled away from him, crossing her arms and walking out of the barn with her head down. She was scowling. He couldn’t see her face, but he sensed it. And he was glad. He was glad she was angry, he was even a little bit glad that none of these delinquents would probably ever speak to her again.
He was angry, and he wasn’t thinking straight. She had scared the ever-loving hell out of him, and now that he had seen for himself she was safe, he was just mad.
“We’ll ride in the back,” Liam said, hopping into the bed of the truck. Alex followed suit.
He didn’t really know if they were doing it for his benefit or their own, but he was happy to go with it either way. Although, happy might be overstating it at this point. “Suit yourselves,” he said, opening the passenger side door and gesturing for Violet to get inside.
She stumbled on her way in, crawling into the seat and groaning. And something in his heart twisted, something in his stomach tumbling right along with it. His daughter was drunk.
He slammed the door shut and leaned against it for a second, pressing his hands to his forehead and counting to ten. Like he had done when she was a toddler and she was frustrating him. But she wasn’t a toddler. She was sixteen, and she was drunk. She had been making out with some guy. She had sneaked out. She had friends here, and he didn’t know who any of them were, but he had just yelled at all of them.
“Damn you, Kathleen,” he said. “Damn you to hell.” He cursed his ex-wife as he rounded the front of the truck and made his way to the driver’s side. She had left him here to do this by himself. Had left both him and Violet in over their heads.
He was angry. So angry. And he wasn’t sure he had fully realized how angry until this moment. He took a deep breath, then got into the truck. He and Violet were both silent until he turned out onto the main road.
“What the hell were you thinking?”
“I don’t want to talk to you,” she said, the words petulant, and slightly slurred.
“I don’t care,” he said, raising his voice slightly. “I didn’t want to have to come track you down in the middle of the night. I didn’t want to open your bedroom door to find you gone, with no idea where you might be. So right now, what you want is low on my list of priorities, Violet.”
“I’m sorry, now you care where I am? Why? Just because you noticed I was gone? Do you really think that was the first time I sneaked out?”
Her words cracked over him like a whip. Of course it wasn’t the first time she had sneaked out. He was an idiot. He was a damn idiot.
“Why? Why didn’t you talk to me?”
“We don’t talk,” she said. “Ever. So why are you acting like you care about who I hang out with or what I do?”
“Of course I care. That’s a stupid thing to say.”
“Maybe I’m stupid, then.”
“Choose your words carefully, kid,” he said. “I’m not in the mood. And you’re giving me your phone.”
“What the hell? Dad, that’s not fair.”
“I don’t care what’s fair. It doesn’t have to be fair. You just have to do what I say.”
“Yeah, that sounds about right. That’s how you uprooted my entire life and brought me out to this shithole!” She was getting shrill now to go with the slurring.
“Because I am your father and I make the decisions about what happens in our lives. You do as I say, when I say it, because you don’t know what the hell to do with yourself. And if that was in question at all before, it isn’t now. I didn’t know where you were tonight, Violet. I went upstairs and you were gone.”
“That was kind of the idea.”
He was ready to explode, God help him. “Anything could have happened to you, don’t you understand that?”
“Now nothing ever will. I think you scared Reed off forever.”
“I hope I scared his punk ass. It will save me the trouble of killing him. He was drunk. You’re drunk. What the hell would have happened if I hadn’t showed up?”
“I don’t know.”
“That’s the problem,” he bit out. “You don’t know. I can think of a thousand things, Violet. Would he have tried to drive you home? Would he have stopped somewhere and tried to take things further?”
“What?”
“Sex, Violet. I’m not going to baby you. You’re out here doing this stuff, and you have to understand what it all might lead to.”
Silence settled between them and heat prickled the back of his neck as he realized that he actually didn’t know if she’d had sex or not. He’d assumed not. She’d never had a boyfriend. But clearly there was a lot happening he didn’t know about.
They’d kind of had The Talk a few years ago. He’d bought her a book and said if she’d had any questions, she could ask. And she hadn’t asked. Which in hindsight...yeah, he wouldn’t have asked any questions either in her position.
Had he royally screwed this up? He didn’t know how to deal with this on his own. It would probably help her to have a woman to talk to and she didn’t have one. She had him. And he sucked.
“I didn’t like the way he was touching you,” he said, his voice low, gravelly. His emotions were on edge and he didn’t know how to get hold of them again.
“I did.”
“You’re drunk.”
“That doesn’t matter.”
“The hell it doesn’t, Violet. It affects your decision-making ability. God knows it’s going to affect his. Especially when you’re both too young to be drinking. And when you’re in a position like that, you’re vulnerable. If he had decided to keep going, and you didn’t want him to...”
“I can handle myself.” She curled up into a little ball and leaned against the passenger door, her cheek against the window.
It reminded him of when she was little, and she’d fallen asleep like that in the truck on the way home from swimming in the river.
Why couldn’t it be simple like that anymore?
His chest tightened, every muscle tense.
“No. That’s the thing, in a situation like that you couldn’t. I understand it feels good to think you could control it, but he’s stronger than you. And he’s also not my asshole kid, so I can’t yell at him, I can only yell at you. I’m scared,” he admitted finally. “I’m scared about what’s going to happen to you, and what might have happened to you tonight. And the only thing that scares me more is that you aren’t. At all. You think it was fine, and you know what? That’s why you need someone to tell you what to do. Because you aren’t old enough to understand the consequences of your damned actions.”
She didn’t say anything. And when they pulled into the driveway and up to the house, he realized it was because she’d fallen asleep. The scowl that usually marred her brow was absent now, her cheek still pressed against the glass.
His stomach twisted hard, his past and present colliding like freight trains, with all the mayhem you’d expect a crash like that to cause.
