Читать книгу Postcards From… Collection - Maisey Yates - Страница 25

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

ANNA SAW HIM FLINCH, felt the twist of it inside her. She had no idea if it was true. It was as deranged a notion as it was incredible. The tortured look on Zahir’s face told her nothing either, except that her rash words had affected him deeply. But it was worth a try. What did she have to lose? Certainly not her pride—there was precious little of that left to worry about. And self-respect? If that was hanging by a thread too maybe it was time to stand up for herself, to challenge Zahir’s decision. All her life she had been the victim of other people’s schemes and machinations. Well enough. This time she was going to fight for what she wanted. She was going to fight for the man she loved.

‘Zahir?’ Gathering her courage around her, she broke the silence softly, like popping a bubble in the air. ‘Do you have nothing to say?’ She stretched out a hand to his face, turning him towards her. ‘Look at me, Zahir. Tell me what you’re feeling.’

‘I see no purpose in that.’ He turned against her hand, his stubbled jaw rough against her fingers as he presented her with his most harsh profile.

‘Tell me why you flinch when I talk about love.’ Still Anna persisted. ‘What is it about the idea that frightens you so much?’

This spun his head back round, made her drop her hands from his cheeks. The notion of Zahir being frightened of anything was totally ridiculous and yet, as she searched his furious gaze, she could see that it was true.

‘I have no idea what love is,’ he fired back. ‘It is beyond my reasoning.’

‘No, Zahir. I don’t believe you. I could hear the love in your voice when you spoke to me of your mother. I can see it in the patience you show to Rashid. You are capable of love, no matter how much you want to deny it.’

‘And look what happened to them, to my parents, to Rashid.’ He let out a cry that echoed around them. ‘Look what happens to the people that you claim I love. They are either murdered or left mentally deranged. Is that what you want for yourself, Annalina?

‘Stop this, Zahir!’ She matched his cry. ‘You can’t go on blaming yourself for what happened for ever.’

‘I can and I will.’

‘Then so be it.’ She knew there would be no changing his mind when it came to that terrible night. The guilt was too deep-rooted, too all-encompassing. ‘But you have no right to punish me for it as well.’

‘You!’ His eyes flashed with fire. ‘Can’t you see I’m trying to protect you, not punish you? I’m trying to save you from the hideous consequences of falling in love with me.’

‘It’s too late for that. And, even if it weren’t, I would be prepared to take the risk if there was any possibility that you might return my love.’

‘Really? Then you are a fool. Because misery is the only reward you will get from such a return.’

‘No, I am not a fool, Zahir. I love you.’ She countered his temper with calm assertion, pressing down on the tightly coiled spring inside her to stop it from wreaking unimaginable havoc. ‘I think I have always loved you, from the very first moment we met. It is an emotion out of my control. There is absolutely nothing I can do about it.’

She paused, her eyes trained on his, refusing even to blink. ‘Up until the time we made love, only a few short hours ago, I would never have dared to think that you might love me too. But I felt the heat of your body as you touched me, heard your cry of release when you came, listened to the beat of your heart as you fell asleep with me in your arms. And that has given me hope.

‘So, if there is any chance that you might love me too, then I’m going to drag it out of you. It doesn’t have to make any difference to our relationship. I will still leave for Dorrada, if that’s what you want. I will agree to the annulment of the marriage, sever all contact with you for ever, if you truly believe that’s how it has to be. But, if you feel any love for me, I believe I have the right to be told.’

Zahir felt Anna’s impassioned speech rock the very foundation of his being, dislodging the corner stone that kept him upright, made him the man he was. He could feel himself wobble, threatening to tumble like a pile of building blocks at her feet.

All his life he had been so sure of his focus. His beloved country had been what mattered. That was at the heart of everything he did, including the reason he had married Annalina and brought her here. But his judgement had been flawed, and not for the first time. Now she was challenging his decision to release her, pushing and pushing, messing with his head until he no longer knew right from wrong any more. Her declaration of love, delivered with such composure, had ripped him wide open. And now she seemed determined to make him stare into the very depths of his own heart.

He looked down at her beautiful, open face, so moved by her words that he couldn’t think straight. He wanted to be able to formulate some sort of reply but nothing would come, his throat choked with something that felt alarmingly like tears. Turning his head away, he swallowed madly.

‘Zahir?’ She reached for him again, taking his face in her hands and holding it firmly in her cold grip, her gaze raking mercilessly over every tortured inch of it. Zahir tried to blink, to look away, but it was too late. She had already seen the sheen in his eyes. ‘Oh, Zahir!’

Raising herself up, she touched his lips with her own, nudging them with the gentlest feather-light pressure. ‘Say it. Say it to me now.’

‘No!’ Her breath was a soft whisper on his skin but still he fought off its assault. Anger was beginning to surge through him now at the way she was clawing at his masculinity, delving into his soul. That he, Zahir Zahani, the warrior prince, had been almost reduced to tears by this young woman was unthinkable. He would not stand for it. ‘I will not say it. I cannot.’

‘Why, Zahir? Because it isn’t true? Or because you refuse to accept it?’

‘Either, both, I don’t know.’ Screwing up his eyes, he wrenched her hands from his face and took a step back. ‘This subject is now closed. We are going back to the car.’

‘No, not yet.’ Still she persisted, her feet firmly planted in front of him. ‘I’m not going anywhere until I have seen you let yourself open up to the possibility of the truth.’

Zahir scowled at her through the slits of his eyes. ‘And what the hell does that mean?’

‘It means that I want you to promise that you will sit and let yourself feel. Just this once. Just for me. I want you to banish the pride, the fear or whatever else it is that’s holding you back and let the truth come through. Set it free. Whatever that truth is, I will accept it and I will never ask you to speak it again. But you owe me this one thing, Zahir.’

Zahir hesitated. If this hippy nonsense meant that she would finally release him, end this terrible inquisition, then maybe he would do it. ‘Very well.’ He watched as Annalina moved away to give him some space, sitting herself down and hugging her knees, her focus straight ahead. Suddenly it was just him and the sparkling clarity of the new day. There was nowhere to hide.

He let his eyelids drop. Presumably this was what she expected of him so he would play along. He breathed in and out, letting his shoulders drop, the arms that were folded so tightly across his chest loosen. He felt himself relax.

Annalina. The spirit of her came out of nowhere, filling his head, his heart, his whole body. He tried to fight against it, against the witchcraft, black magic or whatever spell it was that she had cast over him, but it was hopeless. Suddenly he was exposed, laid bare, everything he had been denying, blocking out, pushing away, presented before him with bruising clarity. And, more than that, as if a tap was being turned on inside him he could feel the empty vessel that he had once been filling, gushing and gushing until he was almost drowning from the flood of it, gasping for air. And then it was too late, he had no control any more, and the wave crashed over him. And suddenly he recognised the phenomenon for what it was: the acceptance of love.

Beside her Anna felt Zahir move, closing the gap between them until he was in front of her, standing so tall that he blotted out the rising sun. She forced her eyes slowly to travel up the length of his body but they halted at his chest, the terrible fear of what she might see refusing to let them go to his face. She was wrong. He didn’t love her. It was a crazy, stupid idea, born of desperation and the blindness of her own feelings.

‘Anna?’ He stretched out his hands to her and she took hold of them, letting herself be pulled to standing. It was the first time she had heard him shorten her name. ‘Please forgive me.’ She felt her heart stutter with panic as his eyes sought hers, the near-black intensity impossible to read.

‘Just now I called you a fool, but now I see that I am the fool.’ He spoke softly but with grim determination. ‘Now I see that what I took for strength and responsibility was actually bullying and intimidation. Never once did I allow myself to stop and look at you for who you really are because that would have exposed my own weakness.’ He looked down at their joined hands then back to her face.

‘For not only are you beautiful, Annalina—the most remarkable, extraordinary woman that I have ever met—but you are also brave. So much braver than me. Somehow you found the courage to declare your feelings for me, even in the face of my callous hostility. Whereas I...’ He paused, the effort of overthrowing a lifetime of crippling detachment evident from the glitter in the depths of his eyes. ‘I was too scared to examine how I felt for fear of what I would find there. A man who was unworthy of you in every way, who could never hope to earn your affection, let alone your love. I thought your love was far beyond anything I could ever deserve and that is why I dismissed it so cruelly. And the reason why I beg your forgiveness.’

‘There is nothing to forgive, really.’ Suddenly Anna didn’t want to hear any more. If this was Zahir letting her down gently it was even more unbearably painful than his cold-blooded disregard. ‘You don’t have to explain any further.’

‘Oh, but I do.’ He brought her hands to his chest, clasping them against his heart. ‘I have been callous and I have been cruel. By sending you away I thought I was protecting you from my brother but in reality I was only protecting myself, my own heart. But your courage has stripped away that defence and made me see what was there all along. And that is this.’ He paused, raking in a breath that came from deep, deep within his soul. ‘I love you, Annalina. I think I always have and I know I always will.’

For a second Anna let the words sink in, feeling them spread through her body with a ripple of pleasure that grew and grew until she thought she might explode with the joy of it. Then, throwing herself forward, she fell against him, revelling in the glorious strength of his arms as they wrapped around her, holding her so tightly against him. For several precious heartbeats they stayed locked in this embrace until Zahir loosened his hold and pulled back so that he could take her face in his hands.

‘My most precious Annalina. You have shone light into my darkness, filled a void that I didn’t know was there, stirred a heart that didn’t know how to beat. And you have even made me find the words to tell you that.’ He smiled now, the most wonderful, tender smile, and Anna felt the warmth of it flood over her, filling her to the brim with love. ‘If you will have me, I am yours for ever more.’

‘Oh, yes, I will have you.’ With his features blurred by tears, Anna let her fingers trace the familiar contours of his face. ‘And what’s more, Zahir, I will never, ever let you go.’

Zahir gave a primal groan, lowering his head until he found her lips and immediately the arousal leapt between them, just as it always did. Just as it had that very first time when Anna had forced him to kiss her on the bridge in Paris. As the kiss deepened their bodies melted, moulding into one another, becoming one.

And all around them the new day burst into life.

* * *

‘I have something for you.’ Coming up behind her, Zahir spoke softly into the ear exposed by the swept-up tresses of Anna’s intricate hairstyle.

Anna turned to look up at him, catching her breath at the stunning sight of her husband in Eastern clothes. He was wearing a long cream shirwani with a stand-up collar and a single row of buttons down the front and loose dark-red trousers beneath. He looked more impossibly handsome than any man had a right to be. Because he was.

Lana and Layla, who had been tweaking the folds of Anna’s splendid red-and-gold gown, respectfully stepped back into the shadows of the dressing room.

‘I don’t think you should be here.’ Anna smiled into his serious eyes, her mild rebuke melting like a wafer on her tongue. ‘Isn’t it supposed to be unlucky to see me before the ceremony?’

‘We make our own luck, aziziti. Besides, this is blessing, not a wedding. I don’t believe the same rules apply.’

‘And even if they did I doubt very much whether you would obey them.’

‘It is true that I would never obey a rule that kept me away from you.’ His solemn words, accompanied by the furrowed brow, threatened to turn Anna’s bones to jelly once again. That would teach her for trying to be flippant.

These past few weeks had been the most wonderful, magical time imaginable. With Zahir permitting himself some rare free time, they had scarcely left each other’s sides, travelling around Nabatean so that he could show off his country, finding secret hideaways that only he knew about—a shaded oasis in the desert or ancient caves with prehistoric paintings on the walls, where he would show off something rather more private, and definitely more thrilling.

She had watched him as he worked too, patiently explaining the procedures he was involved with or taking her to meetings where he made sure that her views were respected, his obvious respect for her opinions filling her with pride. But it was the nights that had been the most special. Exploring each other’s bodies in the dark, finding new ways to bring each other to soaring heights of ecstasy, before finally falling asleep in a tangle of sweat-sealed limbs. Anna marvelled at how they could never seem to get enough of one another, rejoicing in the fact that they would never have to. Because this was just the start of their lifetime together.

‘So what is it, then—this something you have for me?’ Tamping down the curl of longing, she smiled up at him.

‘Um...it’s just this.’

She watched as he felt in his pocket, producing a blue velvet ring box. He was nervous, she realised, definitely out of his very masculine comfort zone. And that made her love him all the more. He opened the lid of the box and offered it to her, almost shyly.

‘Zahir!’ Anna gasped at the sight of the sapphire ring, the stunning stone set in platinum and surrounded by a circle of diamonds. ‘It is absolutely beautiful. Thank you!’

‘I’m glad you like it. I thought the colour would match your eyes.’ He gave a small cough, clearly ill at ease. ‘Consider it a late engagement ring. I’ve noticed that you never wear the other one.’

‘No.’ Now it was Anna’s turn to feel uncomfortable. ‘I’m sorry, but...’

‘You don’t need to apologise, or explain.’ Zahir interrupted her, taking her hand and slipping the ring onto her finger where it sat so perfectly, felt so right, that Anna could only stare at it, brimming with happiness. ‘The other ring was never meant for us. By rights it should be somewhere in the mud at the bottom of the Seine. In fact...’ He flashed her a mischievous grin. ‘If you like, I will take you back to Paris and you can finish what you started and chuck the thing in.’

‘No!’ Anna raised her eyes from admiring her ring and placed her hands gently on his shoulders. ‘I’ve got a much better idea. We will keep it safe for Rashid until he finds someone to love, someone who will make him the perfect wife.’

‘Do you think that will ever happen?’

‘Of course. He has only being undergoing treatment with Dr Meyer for a week but I understand that he’s already making tremendous progress.’

‘And I have you to thank for that, aziziti. For forcing me to swallow my pride and accept proper help for him. For using your contacts in Europe to find the very best doctor for him. Thank you so much.’

‘Think nothing of it. Seeing Rashid return from Germany having banished his demons is the only thanks I want. And it will happen. I am sure of it.’

‘You know what? I’m sure of it too.’ Zahir took her hands and pressed them to his lips. ‘You are the most wonderful, remarkable woman, Princess Annalina Zahani. Have I ever told you that?’

‘Once or twice, I think.’ Anna put her head on one side thoughtfully. ‘But a girl can never receive too many compliments.’

‘Hmm... Well, maybe I’ll save them until after the ceremony. We don’t want your head getting too big for that tiara thing, now, do we?’

He glanced across to where Lana was still patiently waiting with the jewelled headdress in her hands.

‘I guess not.’ Leaning forward, Anna kissed him on the lips then, turning her head, whispered in his ear. ‘And I will save something for you until after the ceremony too.’

Pulling away, their eyes met, Anna’s wicked twinkle dancing across Zahir’s heated gaze. ‘In that case, my princess, I suggest we start the ceremony without further ado. Suddenly I find I am rather impatient.’

‘Suddenly I find that I agree with you.’

Sitting down just long enough for Lana to secure the headdress, Anna rose majestically to her feet and, linking her arm through Zahir’s, the couple prepared to leave for the throne room.

‘I love you, Annalina Zahani.’ They started walking, perfectly in step, towards their future together.

‘I love you too, Zahir Zahani.’

Somewhere behind them Lana and Layla sighed with delight.

* * * * *