Читать книгу The Mills & Boon Christmas Wishes Collection - Мишель Смарт, Maisey Yates - Страница 46
ОглавлениеLater that afternoon, we’d finished all the reordering; charming suppliers was one of Amory’s specialties so I had left that to her while I made progress with the rest of the list.
“Just quickly,” I said, refilling my coffee. “Amidst the NYE party, we’ve also got to make a start on our February wedding. Can you touch base with our bride and get her RSVP list? Once that’s done, we’ll knuckle down on what else we need to do.”
“Already done, darling,” Amory said, holding out her empty mug.
“You’re a superstar.” That’s what I loved about Amory – in business she was always a step ahead. She truly loved her job and thrived on being busy.
“Thank you, darling. It’s sweet of you to state the obvious.”
“Humble too, so utterly humble.”
“I try.”
“Shall we set up a time to Skype our bride?”
“Yes, I’ll email her and lock in time for this week, yeah?”
“Perfect.” We may have been midway through planning a NYE party, but weddings normally needed more than a month’s notice and we needed to ensure our first Cedarwood nuptials went off without a hitch.
After giving me an air kiss, Amory went to her office and I called the grocer. Difficult suppliers that they were, he wouldn’t budge and gave me a stern talking-to about food waste and being flighty. Holding in a scream, I reassured him we’d take what we’d ordered and sort out the new menu soon. Really, we’d have to find someone more accommodating in the future, but for now, he would have to do.
Cruz rapped on the door and came in with a plate of sandwiches. He popped them on my desk and left as quickly as he’d come – I yelled out thanks. While I nibbled, I switched gears and scoured the internet for props for the party, like feather boas and moustaches on sticks that guests could use in the photo booth. Scotty smelled something delicious on offer and scampered in, paws up on my shins, little nose twitching. I snuck him some of the ham from my sandwich, and wondered briefly if we were all sneaking him food. He was irresistible and I now knew the meaning of the term ‘puppy-dog eyes’. Once he’d taken his fill and knew I was fresh out of scraps for him he toddled off, probably next door to Amory to repeat the process.
My cellphone buzzed, and I checked the screen before answering. Mom. I smiled, hoping she was calling about all the gold and glitter desserts we’d ordered.
“Mom, how are you?”
“Clio, what have you done?” Her frosty tone froze me down to my bones. “You promised me you’d leave it alone, and now Isla comes into Puft and tells us all how she’s found a maze, and is going to restore it back to its former glory. You promised me, Clio.”
Damn it. I hadn’t thought to tell Isla to keep it hushed up for now. To be honest, I hadn’t expected her to mention it to anyone, least of all my own mother.
I took a steadying breath. “They don’t know anything about it, Mom. Isla stumbled on it and showed Micah, and they announced it to all of us on Christmas Eve. There was nothing I could do since they found it by pure accident. And I didn’t mention a word about it, I just changed the subject and hoped they’d forget.”
Mom sighed, a world-weary, I-can’t-handle-this-any-more kind of sound. I was at a loss for words and was bone-weary about it all myself. Hiding someone else’s secret was exhausting, especially when I didn’t know what it was exactly.
Mom’s delicate health concerned me, and I worried about what she’d do if she felt cornered, but surely it had to come out. It’s not as though the townsfolk didn’t know… They did, and they were keeping their lips pressed tight when questioned over it. And me, her own daughter, wasn’t trusted enough to confide in. It was mind-bending.
“Mom, look. I know it’s difficult for you and I’m not trying to push you or anything, but don’t you think it’s time you told me? Cedarwood is getting busier by the day. We’ve got guests booked to stay in the lodge soon. We’ve got parties and weddings planned. I can’t keep it a secret for ever. People will stumble over it if they hike, and especially as Isla clears the grounds come spring. Don’t you think it’s better if I know what happened?” She didn’t say anything but her breathing was audibly shallow. With a soothing voice I tried a different tack. “Why don’t you come visit, and we’ll find the maze together?”
“I never want to see it again as long as I live.” Her voice broke but I pushed on. At least she hadn’t hung up on me… not yet anyway. That had to be progress.
“I know you don’t. But avoiding the situation isn’t working, is it? Lots of people have kept your secret, Mom, which says a lot about how people feel about you. It’s time to trust me. I am your daughter, and I do love you unconditionally.”
The line went silent, and eventually she said so softly I could barely hear her, “I haven’t exactly been a mother to you.”
I closed my eyes, wishing so hard that she’d just forgive herself for whatever it was. “I love you, Mom. You’ve done the best job you could. I’m home now and I want to work on our relationship, and that means we have to be honest with each other.”
Once upon a time I couldn’t get out of town quick enough, bereft that my mom didn’t care one iota about me. I’d been ready for a new life and new friends who would eventually become my family. But I’d been young and naïve and hadn’t known that whatever had happened to Mom had shaped her future and made her turn in on herself. Now, I was ready to help her navigate whatever it was, and be there for her, without any recriminations on my part. It was the only way forward. Any grudges I’d held had evaporated a long time ago and all I cared about was that she got better.
The faint sound of crying traveled the length of the line, and my heart just about tore in two. “Think about it, yeah, Mom? We can get through anything, me, you, and Aunt Bessie.”
She cleared her throat, and managed to compose herself enough to say, “I’ll think about it, Clio. Will I see you for Friday night dinner?”
“You sure will, I’m looking forward to it.” The hope in her voice told me to leave it for the time being. That she was happy to have dinner with me was enough. It was a step forward and not something I would ever take for granted.
We hung up, and while it had been an emotional phone call, I felt like we’d finally gotten somewhere. Now I just had to tell Isla to leave the maze be for the time being; as thrilling as it would be to see it restored, we had to bide our time.
While the sun sank behind the mountains, pitching the sky into shades of dense gray, I thought about love and loss, and what shaped our lives. Could my mom find peace? I hoped so. If I didn’t truly believe she could find peace, I wouldn’t have pushed her so. She’d been living as if she was paying a penance, obsessively cleaning, hyper alert, not interacting with people if she could avoid it. I couldn’t predict the future, but I hoped my good intentions wouldn’t backfire.
Before I could get lost worrying, the phone rang again.
“Cedarwood Lodge, Clio speaking.” A mumble of static greeted me.
“Clio! It’s Georges. Sorry, the phone reception onboard is appalling.”
From the choppy wind in the background, it sounded as though he was calling from above deck, not below. “Georges, how’s it going? I bet you’re staring into the beautiful blue of the Mediterranean!”
He let out a deep belly chuckle. “Sort of. I’m bracing myself for another storm actually. With the pitching of the vessel, I’m quite nauseous all the time…”
Poor Georges. Even though he’d left us in the lurch when he’d run off to be an onboard chef for a celebrity’s cruise ship, I’d never be able to be angry at him – and look how well it had turned out! I was surprised, though, at the tone of his voice. He was quite plaintive, which was unusual for him. “You just have to develop your sea legs, Georges. All great adventures have their downsides, so I’m sure it’s only temporary,” I reassured him. “Soon, you’ll be screeching you’re the king of the world at the bow, or whatever that pointy front bit is called.”
He laughed, but it was hollow. “Yes, yes, you’re probably right. I just have to get acclimatized. It’s just a matter of becoming one with the sea, the beast that it is.”
“That’s the spirit, Georges!”
“Did you find a new chef? I’m so sorry to have left you in such a bind, Clio. You know I could always come back… if you insisted.”
Oh, Georges! I suddenly understood his phone call. “Well, we were lucky actually, Georges, and we managed to hire Cruz as a part-time chef until he figures out his new direction. I’m hoping, though, that we’ll be busy enough and give him enough creative freedom that he’ll stay on for good. I am sorry, Georges. But really, I just think you’re a little homesick. If you give it a chance, this will be the best thing you ever did.”
I could empathize with Georges. I’d felt the same when I’d first arrived in New York. A country girl suddenly thrust into the big city, blinded by bright lights, fast talkers, and so much traffic. But each day had got a little better until I’d become one of those subway-catching, cosmopolitan-drinking locals, snatching every minute of the day to do things I’d never tried before. And it had been so worth it. Worth the nights I’d cried into my pillow, the mornings I’d been fuzzy with confusion, lonely among so many people. It was a learning curve, and when you’d done it once you could do it again, quicker, braver.
“Thanks, Clio. I know you’re right. I do. It’s just so different, but that’s what I wanted, right? To be busy, to not spend every waking minute worrying about making enough money.”
“Now you’ll have money to burn, Georges! And when you have your days off, think of the places you’ll see! Sailing around the world on someone else’s dime is nothing to sneeze at.”
It was like I could hear the cogs in his brain whirr as he warmed to the idea. “Yeah, not many people get to travel the world and get paid to do it. It was nice talking to you, Clio. Keep in touch, yeah?”
I smiled. “Send us postcards at every exotic port of call.”
“Will do,” he said jovially. “Give my love to everyone.”
Just then I heard the pitter patter of tiny feet and that could only mean one thing. Trouble. “Where are you, you little varmint!” I said jokingly, watching as the fluffy ball of fur heavy-breathed his way under my desk. I bent on hands and knees to grab him before he used my antique handwoven rug as his personal toilet or nibbled on one of my spare pairs of high heels, tossed under there in case of surprise customer arrivals.
I scrabbled for him, darting a hand and grabbing air. I huffed.
“What on earth are you doing, darling? Is that one of your yoga moves?”
I started and smashed my head into the top of the desk as I tried to retreat, realizing it probably wasn’t my best angle, rump in the air, jiggling around for the world to witness. The little fur ball barreled backwards out of sight, and my hand came to rest in a still-warm puddle. “Amory! He’s peeing all over the place!”
She laughed from behind me. “There’s absolutely no point harping on about it now, darling. What’s done is done. All the puppy-training manuals say you have to catch them before they commit the act; yelling like a banshee after does absolutely nothing except confuse the poor mite.” Scotty dashed out of the office and down the hall to the front door, his little paws clip-clopping on the wooden floorboards.
Ungraciously, I managed to shimmy my way out from beneath the desk and Amory handed me a wet-wipe to clean up as she laughed. “Jesus, did you have a nap down there? Darling, you’re quite bedraggled…”
“What?”
Before she could answer, Isla, Micah and Kai trooped in. The trio gave me a slow once-over, alarmed at my heavy breathing and red face, hair sticking up at odd angles. Running my hands through my riotous hair I pasted on a serene ‘I’m in control’ smile and said, “How’d it go with Ned?”
“Great,” Kai said, hiding a smirk. “He’s signed off on the chapel, and has agreed to the plan for the chalets. Only kicker is, you need a registered builder on-site at all times…” He trailed off.
“Oh, but…” I stopped short as a car slipped into the driveway, pulled to an abrupt halt, and Timothy climbed out. I frowned, hoping it wasn’t another issue with the New Year’s Eve party. Looking back to Kai I smiled distractedly. My mind was whirling as I tried to troubleshoot any potential problems while thinking I should really respond to what Kai had just said. “Sorry, Kai, could you repeat that?”
Amory nodded at Tim through the window, then headed toward the front door to let him in. Turning back to Kai I tried once more to concentrate on what he was saying.
Just then, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Scotty careening through the snow and running straight for Timothy. Before I could even so much as shout out, he skittered under Timothy’s feet sending him flying. Holy moly! Timothy fell in a heap, letting out an oomph as he landed hard on the ice.
“Oh, no!” I raced outside, pushing past Amory, who’d frozen on the spot, her face pinched with worry. “Are you OK?” I asked breathlessly.
Tim stood and brushed snow from his jeans, a rueful grin on his face. “Sure, sure, he caught me by surprise, is all.”
Amory scooped up Scotty and held him to her chest. “I am so sorry, Tim, he just ran out! I thought for a minute you’d landed on him, and my heart just about stopped.”
“Hey, he’s a puppy, he didn’t do it on purpose,” Tim said. “And he was well clear of me, don’t worry.”
“Are you OK, little man?” Cruz said as he wandered out, standing next to Amory while she searched Scotty for any cuts or bruises as he wriggled in her hands. The care she was taking over him showed a completely different side to Amory. All of her untapped maternal instincts were coming to the surface and although, sure, she might never have wanted to be a mother in the real sense, her protective instinct was still strong.
“He’s fine,” I said to Cruz. “Tim took the brunt of the fall, Scotty scampered out of the way.”
“Sorry, Tim,” Amory said again, pulling her attention away from the squirming puppy. “It’s just he’s so little and fragile, you know. He’s just a baby really.”
“Is everything OK with the party?” I asked Tim, worried another unofficial visit spelled trouble.
He slung his hands into his pockets as we walked to the door. “Yes, Vinnie’s happy, invites are sent, and Cruz has the new menu sorted. I’m here to steal Cruz and Amory away actually. I’ve lined up a range of cottages to show them in the area.”
“Oh, of course.” They really were serious about moving to Evergreen and starting a life here. Part of me understood their need for a space of their own, but still, I’d miss them at the lodge. My mornings with Amory, slowly awakening as the sun split the sky, our chats over coffee and cake.
“We’ll just grab our coats,” Amory said, pulling Cruz inside with her.
As we followed slowly behind, Tim motioned toward my office and said, “Can I talk to you for a sec, Clio?”
“Sure.”
In my office we sat at the desk. “What’s up?”
He fumbled with the sleeve of his sweater. “I was… It’s just that… How did you get on with the cocktail menu?”
The cocktail menu? I sensed that wasn’t what Tim really wanted to ask. No one normally got nervous asking about gin and tonics. “I thought I emailed you? Anyway,” I smiled, “we’ve hired a mixologist for the evening, so he can fling those cocktail shakers and wow the guests, without spilling a drop.” Mixologists were worth their weight in gold. They had an innate sense of how to entertain people, not only with their cocktail knowledge but also their upbeat personalities and general sense of fun. They were worth every penny, and we never scrimped on hiring the best we could find for the job. Amory had convinced one of our favorites from New York to fly in for the evening, and we were lucky to secure him so late, and that was only because he’d had a cancellation.
“Great, that should be lots of fun…” he tailed off.
I nodded, hoping he would get to the point soon. “Anything else?”
He clasped his hands and looked beyond me. “Erm… That’s about it, I guess. You’ll save me a dance on the night, won’t you?”
I laughed. “Of course.”
“I’d better go, they’re waiting for me.” His face was etched with concern. What had he really wanted to ask? Part of me didn’t want to know. Maybe I had to be more upfront with him, but what if I was presuming too much? Then I’d look a fool.
“I’ll walk you out.”
We joined Cruz and Amory outside once more. Both were bundled up and ready to find their very own dream house. Kai stood peering under the bonnet of Micah’s rust bucket of a car, while Micah tried to explain that he was sure it would work again if they just did this or that. Again, it was having some kind of mechanical issue, and I wished he’d scrap it and drive something more reliable.
The car diagnosis over, Isla started a tense discussion with Micah about what movie to watch on the upcoming movie night we’d been planning. Micah was deeming all of Isla’s suggestions ‘too girly’ – when in fact I knew he’d watched many a chick flick back in the day.
“Why don’t you guys go to Shakin’ Shack that night and leave us to it?” I said, diplomatically. There was no way I wanted our movie night ruined by men pretending to hate chick flicks!
“I’ve got Grease,” Isla said. “And a selection of other musicals. But the boys here seem to think that’s LAME, in big, fat, capital letters.”
We’d need donuts, and lots of them.
“Deal,” Micah said, laughing. “I’ll take the boys for burgers and you girls can snuggle up and dream of John Travolta sweeping you off your feet.”
Isla bumped him with her hip. “Oh, so you just so happen to know the star of the movie, huh!”
A blush crept up his cheeks. “No, it was… a lucky guess.”
“We’ll still think you’re manly if you admit you’re a fan of musicals, Micah,” Amory said, grinning.
Micah reddened. “Help me out here, guys.”
“We won’t judge you, Micah,” Cruz said, deadpan.
Micah swatted his arm and said, “Get outta here before I change my mind and we all watch it together.”
The gang burst out laughing and Micah’s color deepened. We used to watch musicals together a million years ago, and I couldn’t remember him complaining about our famous singalongs back then. The joys of your best friend being a girl, I suppose.
Timothy gave me a loose hug and took Amory, Cruz and little Scotty in his car to view cottages in Evergreen.
Isla and Micah waved them off and then walked back in the direction of the chalets. They were preparing them for the painters who’d arrive in the New Year.
“Make sure you light a fire, Micah,” I yelled after him. The chalets were ice-cold with the frosty breeze blowing off the frozen lake beside them. Kai and I left them to it, instead opting for the warmth of the lodge and a little hot chocolate to take the chill away.
Once I’d made a pot of cocoa we stood nursing steaming mugs in front of the potbelly stove, which belched its usual greeting. We sat for an hour, chatting, and then lapsed into silence.
“It’s so quiet,” he said suddenly. “No puppy, no banging of pots. It’s weird how you get used to a choir of sounds, until they’re gone.”
“I know,” I said. “The lodge is going to be so lonely when you all leave again. Isla has moved in with Micah, and Amory, Cruz and Scotty will no doubt find a nice cozy cottage, and you… you’ll be heading back to San Francisco. Soon it’ll just be me, rattling around the big old lodge again.”
And you and Bonnie Tyler will be back to sobbing into your wineglass. Shut up, brain.
Kai gave me an understanding smile. “It’s like we’re big kids at camp, having the most magical time, and then it’s going to be over, and become a distant memory that makes us smile. Cedarwood certainly gets under your skin.”
“It does…” It was bittersweet, hearing him talk in such a way. “I wonder what it’ll be like having real guests stay here? It’s not like I can force them out of bed to have coffee with me, or yell at them for leaving their clothes everywhere. I’m really going to miss having Amory here.” And you.
“You’ll get used to it. Soon you’ll be so busy you’ll fall into bed and forget you ever lived any other way.”
“I don’t think so. These times where we’ve shaped the lodge, and have all come together to make things happen… it feels so special, and so different. I don’t know how long I’ll have Amory and Cruz for, not really, and the same with Isla and Micah. And then there’s you. I just hope you’ll all come back some day. That we’ll make it a tradition to celebrate Christmas or New Year together.” I swallowed a lump in my throat. I wanted everything to stay like it was, right then, at that moment.
“Count me in,” Kai said.
“You’d come all the way back here every Christmas?”
“Why do you act so surprised?”
I shrugged. Kai could be so hard to read at times and I often couldn’t distinguish between what I wanted him to say and what he really said. “I just am.”
Quietly he turned to me and put a finger under my chin, tilting it up so we were gazing into each other’s eyes. “Clio, you have no idea how people see you, do you?”
“What do you mean?”
“People want to be around you. That’s why they come here and don’t want to leave. It’s not just the scenery, the picture-perfect setting, it’s you as well. You paint this picture of a different kind of life, and you sprinkle your magic dust over it, and they’re spellbound. People want to be where you are. Cedarwood has its own pull, but then there’s you…”
I let out a nervous laugh. “I…”
“You’re intoxicating, and you have no idea how special you are. When we were here renovating with the team, did you not see everyone coming to you every five seconds with inane questions they knew the answers to? Six phone calls from one painter, to query the color you told him a hundred times already? The way they tell you joke after joke just to hear you laugh?”
I double-blinked, sure he was making it up. The team was tight-knit, and we’d had a barrel of laughs. “They were just good guys.”
“They were. But you have this extraordinary power over people, Clio. You make them want to be in your spotlight. They want to be your friend, your confidante. Anything to be near you.”
I couldn’t reconcile the person Kai was speaking about with myself.
His finger smoothed a trace down my cheek and I felt myself lean in to his warmth. “Believe it, Clio.”
Any rational thought escaped, and I was lost in his deep, ocean-blue eyes. Kiss him, Clio. Before I could debate with myself, I reached up to cup his face and pressed my lips against his. A frisson of desire raced through me, provoking jelly-legs. Kai stepped closer, pushing his body hard against mine, and kissed me back, deeper and more slowly. Heat flooded me, and it was all I could do not to gasp when he broke away, with heavy-lidded eyes. How did he learn to kiss like that? It took my breath away.
A second later Amory appeared in the doorway. “We found the cutest cottage… Oh, um, never mind,” she said, ducking back behind the door.
Kai dropped his hands and laughed, calling out to her. “It’s OK, Amory. I’m going to help Micah and Isla with the chalets. I’ll talk to you later, Clio.” He headed out, giving me a look that said this isn’t over as he walked away.
Knowing what was about to come I went to follow, but Amory hooked my elbow as I walked past. “You’re not getting away that easily,” she said, eyes bright. “What happened? Your cheeks are rosy pink and you’ve got those dazed-up manga eyes happening. He kissed you, didn’t he?”
“I kissed him!”
“And?” she said, hopping from foot to foot with excitement.
“And then again you walked in! Do you have some kind of radar?”
She cupped her face. “God, I want to slap my own face! We need a signal, like a napkin on the door handle, or a…”
I laughed. “Amory, it wasn’t planned! It was a spontaneous thing! It’s not like I plan to swoon my way around the lodge, flinging myself against every surface so he can ravish me!”
“Why not?” she asked, her face a mask of seriousness. “It’s your lodge!”
I sat at the kitchen table and cradled my head. “Urgh. I’m thirty-three, almost thirty-four in fact, and I’m acting like a lovestruck fool. He completely befuddles me, and the brain in my head goes on vacation.”
“Lust, pure and simple,” she said with a firm nod. “I’ve seen it before; you’ll survive.”
“It’s more than lust.” I wanted to snatch the words back as soon as they escaped. “Well, what I mean to say is, it’s just, it’s not…”
She rolled her eyes and sighed dramatically. “Clio, you like the damn man, and he clearly likes you. It’s really a very simple equation. Girl tells boy, or boy tells girl, hey, I really like you, and I want to take this kissing thing a few steps further…”
I held up a hand. “Oh, my God, please don’t school me on how to date a guy.”
She huffed. “Someone needs to!”
“They do not!”
She stared me down, and I knew by the set of her lips that she had a trump card. Damn it, she always had one up her sleeve. “OK, tell me the last guy you admitted your feelings to?”
“You want me to go back through my past boyfriends?”
She wrinkled her brow. “Clio, you dated them for about five seconds. I don’t think you committed to anyone in the whole time you were in New York!”
Damn it, she had a memory like an elephant. “There’s no point dating someone when they’re not The One. Why waste my time?”
“Stop trying to avoid the question. Who have you ever told you’re keen on them? Given them the green light? Fluttered those silky long lashes and said with real words, ‘I, Clio Winters, think you’re a bit of all right, and I’d like to invite you to share my thousand-thread-count cotton sheets for the evening’. Give me a name. One name.”
I let out a peal of laughter. So, I really liked expensive sheets? They made good bedfellows! “I can rely on my sheets, you know? They’re always there, just how I left them. I get into bed and they wrap their silky threads around…”
“Stop! You’re doing it again! When have you ever admitted to any man how you felt? Have you ever?”
I considered it. Had I ever told anyone how I felt without knowing for sure how they felt about me first? There’d really been no one serious except for Timothy… Puppy love, I reminded myself. Too many years ago to count.
“You know, I don’t think I have.” This time I stopped her from interrupting by placing a hand over her mouth. “And that’s only because they didn’t set my world on fire. My heart didn’t race, I didn’t think poetically. If I was away from them, they didn’t cross my mind. Shouldn’t real love be arresting, and stop you in your tracks, make your heart sing, your body tingle, make everything else seem unimportant? And anyway…” I took my hand from her mouth. “Why does it matter? You’ve distracted me on purpose to hear me blather on like a fool.”
“Why does it matter? Because Kai is exactly like you! He’s not going to admit to it, and you’re pussyfooting around him, and I want to grab you two and bash your heads together.”
I just stared at her, so she sighed and continued: “You’re both happy sneaking kisses here and there, but neither of you is brave enough to admit how you feel! He’ll leave, and you’ll pine for him. Admit, even just to me, that he does make your heart sing, your body tingle – that’s how you know what real love feels like.” She folded her arms triumphantly.
I still wasn’t convinced. “He did say the most beautiful things just now, but it was like he was talking about another girl,” I said, slowly.
She laughed. “Oh my God! He’s trying to let you know, it’s OK to love him! GOD, WOMAN!”
Was I that bad at reading his signals? Sure, I’d made the leap and kissed him a few times, it was impossible not to. But love was so complicated! Could I even call it love? This whole love scenario was so much easier when it was about someone else.
“You see, he’s having some really huge issues with his family, and I don’t want him sort of using me as a pick-me-up and then realizing it was a mistake.”
Just when I was hoping to change the subject Micah walked in wearing his perpetual half-smirk, carrying in a parcel that had been delivered. He glanced from me to Amory and tutted, plonking himself on the seat next to me.
“Boy talk?” he said, earnestly.
“She’s at it again,” Amory said.
“Oh no you don’t. Don’t think you’re talking over me again, you two.”
They just ignored me, and continued: “So she’s kissed him again, but he’s got some family problem – I mean who doesn’t these days, but for the sake of argument, let’s roll with it – and she seems to think he thinks she’s a nice soft landing pad on which to lick his wounds, but then once healed he’ll flit off to the never-never.”
Micah nodded, and linked his fingers, taking his time to consider it all. “But she knows him, right? She knows he’s not exactly the love ‘em and leave ‘em type? I mean, we haven’t seen him act remotely like that, have we? He’s been almost gentlemanly with his favors, like something out of a period drama.”
“Right? It’s amazing people like her manage to procreate. At this rate they might hold hands by 2020.”
I held up a finger. “Aha. We’ve held hands, thank you very much.”
They continued to ignore me and instead diagnosed my love life. “So what is her problem? Commitment-phobe?” Micah asked, wrinkling his brow.
Amory shook her head. “Even though that’s the kind of vibe she gives out. Like, stay away, I am too busy for the likes of you. Here’s me, running my business, crooning to Bonnie Tyler when I’ve had too many glasses of red wine. Here’s me buying one-thousand-thread-count sheets online again. And so they stay away. Really, she’s scared of rejection. Would rather keep her steely heart in one piece even if it means the only love in her life is an eighties ballad and some freshly washed Egyptian cotton.”
“Guys, seriously, you’re not Oprah, OK? Not even Dr Phil. You’re so far off base it’s not even funny.”
Micah gave me the sweetest smile, but it was sad too, like he could see something I couldn’t.
“What is it, Micah?”
The day stilled. He and Amory exchanged a glance and she nodded. “I have to go help Cruz,” she air-kissed me. Micah, you talk some sense into her.”
Softly, he said, “It’s your mom, Clio. You act this way because of your mom. You don’t let any man close in case they push you away, because you grew up lonely, with a mother who was absent almost all of the time, even when she was sitting right beside you.”
It felt like I’d been punched. It was one thing for me to recognize that, but another for my best friends to notice. “It’s not because of that,” I said, thinking I’d come to terms with all of it a long time ago. With Mom and everything that had happened. Or… maybe I’d been trying to heal everything too quickly? Sure, she’d admitted she hadn’t been there for me and that had helped, but had I really dealt with everything that had happened? All the years of feeling hurt and lonely. Was it time for me to finally open my heart up to someone again? Someone who could smash it into little tiny pieces?
