Читать книгу The Platinum Collection: A Convenient Proposal - Maisey Yates - Страница 15

CHAPTER SEVEN

“I’M GOING TO choose to ignore that,” Victoria said, her tone strangled, betraying just how affected she was by his bold statement.

The doors to the lift slid open and she called herself a whole list of vile names. She could not believe she was having this conversation with him, she could not believe she had let him touch her the way she had last night and, worst of all, she could not believe that she was tempted by what he was suggesting now.

She blamed... Well, she honestly had no idea what she blamed. Except for her own weakness. Apparently, she wasn’t as strong as she’d imagined. Or, she had never been adequately tempted.

Not since Nathan. But even then...that had been different. It had been this hazy, romanticized thing. All bound up in fluttery feelings and breathless touches.

This was not fluttery. It was dark, sweaty and deep. Made her crave things she’d never imagined could possibly appeal.

Dmitri, it turned out, was her personalized brand of temptation. She was not sure how she felt about that.

She had always imagined that men like Nathan were her kryptonite. Men who talked a smooth game and wore well-fitted suits like a second skin.

And yet, here she was falling all over herself, breaking vows that were more than a decade old, and all over a man who, when he wore a suit, looked as though he wanted to tear it from his body as soon as possible. A man who was rough, profane and seemed to take great joy in shocking her. A man who had access to parts of herself that were previously unknown. Parts of herself that wanted, craved, a chance to be wicked. To say to hell with everyone and everything else and dive into her own desires. Her own pleasures. A man who had thought nothing of touching her intimately on a balcony where anyone could see.

And you let him...

Well, that was beside the point. Or maybe it was exactly the point. She didn’t know.

Dmitri got next to her in the lift, and the door slid shut. She felt as if she could barely breathe. And if she did breathe, she was certain she would inhale the scent of him, of his skin, of his sweat, and she knew full well that did not have the effect on her that she wished it did. She wished that it disgusted her. When she had walked into his gym only a few short weeks ago she had been filled with disdain for testosterone. Now she found it all much more appealing than she would like.

The elevator stopped on the ground floor and the doors opened. Victoria stepped down, not waiting for Dmitri, desperate for some distance. Of course, she had a feeling that as large as the continent was she wouldn’t have enough distance from him if she was on an opposite coast. Better if she were back in England and he were here.

“The ballroom is this way,” she said, without looking back at him. She could hear his heavy footfalls behind her, and more than that, she could sense his presence.

She led him down the hallway, her shoes loud on the marble floor. In contrast, his trainers kept him almost silent, and made her increasingly self-conscious. It wasn’t fair—he should be the one feeling self-conscious, as he was in athletic clothing and casual shoes. Alas. Dmitri never seemed to feel uncomfortable, even though he never quite fit in to his surroundings. He simply didn’t care. She had no idea how he managed such a thing.

She had no idea how he managed much of what he seemed to manage. Least of all his ability to reach into her and take control of her desire.

She had lost herself completely last night, and she would love to blame the city, she would love to blame the wine, but she knew it was him. Because the changes had started long before they had left England. They had started the moment she had walked into his gym and seen him standing there, looking like a bare-chested warrior from another age.

And she had thought herself immune because she had imagined he wouldn’t be her type. It was laughable.

Another issue with having not had much experience with men since she was a girl. Victoria the woman obviously had no use for the smooth sophisticate. Which made no sense, since she fancied herself a smooth sophisticate, and one would think that she would be attracted to the sort of man whose lifestyle was compatible with hers.

Nothing about Dmitri would be compatible with her lifestyle and the long term.

But who’s thinking about the long term?

No, she silenced that treacherous voice in her head. She was not going to allow herself to lose her sanity that way.

Who was she kidding? Her sanity was gone. There was no other way to look at it. Thinking about his footsteps in relation to hers, and how well he fit into his surroundings or, rather, how well he didn’t? And obsessing about the sound of her own shoes?

She had to stop obsessing about him.

So he had given her an orgasm. It wasn’t as though she’d never given herself one.

And when she did, it wasn’t as if she went around thinking about it all day after the fact, either. There was no reason she should think about it so much just because someone else had done it. It wasn’t as though they’d had sex. He’d touched her—that was all.

And kissed her, and caressed her in ways no other man ever had.

But still, all of it was irrelevant. She needed to keep her focus. She needed to think about what was important and that was the gala that was happening tonight.

She walked through the elegant double doors at the end of the hall and gestured for Dmitri to follow.

“I think this will do,” she said.

“Do you?”

“I do.” She was irritated, and it wasn’t really warranted. But, oh well. She was feeling annoyed, even if he wasn’t deserving of the irritation in question. “Yes, this is the venue. If you have a negative opinion about it I suggest you keep it to yourself. If you wanted to choose, then you should have done so.”

“I did not say I didn’t like it,” he said.

“You had a tone,” she said, her tone clipped.

“Did I?” He chuckled, and she was really starting to hate when he did that, because she could not hear it and remain unaffected. “I didn’t know you were so in tune to the changes in my voice inflection, milaya moya.”

“I am not, and you can spare me your foreign endearment.” Even she was annoyed with her responses at the moment, but she couldn’t seem to hold them back. He had too much power over her. Over how she felt.

“They aren’t foreign to me.”

She bristled, feeling very much as if he had the upper hand, and there was nothing she could do to reverse their roles. “Fair point.”

“Yes, this will do nicely. I gather you’re expecting a good turnout tonight?”

This was her area of strength; this was her confidence. The upper hand was here, and she was grabbing it. “That I am, Dmitri. That I am.”

“You should be very proud. All you have to do is beat a few bushes and celebrities fall out. I would wager that would not be the case for me.”

Because she was better with people than he was. And better at this. And that thought cheered her immensely. “You don’t think?”

“No, I do not think. Unless said celebrity wanted to install a cage in the midst of a gala and arrange a fight, then have me seduce his wife, I fail to see why I would be included in something of this nature. That’s what I am, after all. That’s why my reputation is what it is.”

She looked at Dmitri, his broad shoulders and well-defined muscles tapering down to a slim waist. The way the slight bump in his nose added to the look of him, to the danger. He certainly wouldn’t blend in at a social event like this one, but then, there was something nice about not blending in. At least when it applied to other people. She had always gone out of her way to blend in as best she could.

“You’re more than that,” she said, and she wasn’t sure why.

“Do you think?” he asked. “I’m not certain. But we had better make everyone think so, yes?”

She nodded slowly. “Yes.” She cleared her throat. “So, there will be tables and chairs set over here. Dinner will be served around nine, then it will be dancing and live jazz music. It sounds nice, doesn’t it?” She was desperate to change the subject, to get things back on track. To ignore all of the electricity that crackled between them.

“You’re avoiding looking at me, Victoria.”

She kept her eyes fixed on the stage. “I am not avoiding looking at you, Dmitri. It’s just I can look at you anytime, and we came down here to look at the venue. I don’t see why I should need any of this special, allotted venue time to examine you.”

He made a low, musing noise in the back of his throat, and the hair on her neck stood on end. “And you are acting prickly. You’re prickly when things don’t go your way.” He started to pace the length of the room. “I have been perfectly agreeable, so I know it is not myself making you feel like things aren’t going your way. Which makes me wonder...is your body disobeying you, Victoria?”

She stiffened. “Why would you think that?”

“I only wonder if your body is still obeying me.”

Oh, that...

She made a sound that was somewhere between a snort and a growl. “I have no idea what that’s supposed to mean. At no point has my body ever obeyed yours.”

“Last night,” he said, the words dark and sensual, wrapping themselves around her body. No. No, no, no.

She gritted her teeth. Part of her was begging her to retreat, while the bolder part, the part that hated to lose, that seemed to be in top form when he was around, urged her on. “Stop feeling so proud. It’s nothing I haven’t done for myself.”

He arched a dark brow. “On a balcony in front of the sea of strangers? You are a much more adventurous woman than I have given you credit for.”

She ignored the heat sizzling beneath her skin. “We are not going to talk about this again. We are going to talk about the gala tonight.”

“All right, Victoria, we can play your way. But before we do, I have one question for you.”

“What?” She braced herself mentally for what he might say.

He was silent for a while, the silence winding itself around the line of tension that already stretched between them and pulling it tight. Finally, he spoke. “Do you want me? Do you want more than what happened last night?”

“I don’t see what that has to do with anything.” Being curt was her last line of defense. And even it was hanging on by a thread.

“It doesn’t matter if it’s relevant or not, this is what I’m asking you right now. I told you, one question. And then we can get back to being relevant.”

She took in a deep breath, deciding yet again that she was going to pursue honesty. Because after what had transpired between them the night before it would be foolish of her to try and deny that there was something between them. Ignoring it wasn’t working anyway. “Obviously, I am attracted to you. It would be disingenuous of me to say otherwise. As to the question of whether or not I want you, that’s a different story.”

“Is it? Do you think wanting me and wanting to want me are the same?”

She felt some of the defenses around her crumble. “Aren’t they?”

He looked at her, his dark eyes boring into hers. She could feel frustration coming off him in waves. “No, Victoria, they are not the same thing. I could go out onto the street, snap my fingers and have any woman I wanted—do you realize that? I can go right outside this hotel this very moment and find a woman and be back in my room having sex with her in less than an hour. I have that choice.” His voice vibrated with intensity, an intensity that echoed through her. “But...I don’t want to make it. Because I want you.” The words hit her hard, unexpected and, much more unexpected than the words themselves, welcome.

He wanted her.

He wanted her.

Not because of what she could offer him, but because he was attracted to her. He already had use of her, without seduction. This had to do with lust. Simple lust. And it meant more to her than she’d ever imagined something like that might.

He continued. “Do you suppose I find that terribly convenient? Do you suppose I want that? No, I would much rather have the easy way. What man wouldn’t? But with us, it will never be simple.”

Victoria’s throat constricted, her chest tightening. “Why bother with something that isn’t easy?” she asked. “I mean...isn’t life hard enough?”

“True,” he said, his voice rough. “But easy is never fun. Not for people like us.”

The truth that resonated, in his words and through her, was unwelcome. “I would take some easy,” she contradicted.

He met her gaze. “No. You don’t want easy. You’re like me. You want a fight. You want this fight, too, don’t you?”

“Fine,” she said, barely able to force the words out. “Fine, I want you. But I don’t want to want you.” She finished the rest of it in a rush, not quite able to believe she’d said it out loud.

She felt as though she had stuck her head into a bonfire. She’d done this once before. And she’d been rejected horribly, seen her entire life turned upside down because she’d chased after desire. She had laid herself bare and been turned away, and even saying those words to Dmitri now took her right back to that place. To feeling as though she’d taken her clothes off for him to either accept or reject. Just as she’d done back then. But this was more somehow, bigger, even without all of the feelings that had accompanied her attempted seduction of Nathan.

Because it had been one thing to offer herself to a man when she’d been a sixteen-year-old girl who had wanted something nebulous and romantic. Who had wrapped everything in the soft haze of love and fine feelings.

It was quite another thing to say it to a man like Dmitri. When what she wanted had nothing to do with romance or love. When it had everything to do with desire. When she was a woman and old enough to understand exactly what that meant. To know that the ache between her thighs was because she was desperate to be filled by him, that she wanted him inside of her, skin to skin, clinging to each other as they both chased their climax.

She felt dizzy, her vision getting fuzzy around the edges, the world tilting on its axis.

“I will not seduce you,” he said, his voice rough, “you have my word.”

She laughed shakily. “As if you could seduce me.”

“I already have, Victoria. I think I proved that last night. I said I enjoyed having you mindless, and I did. But the truth is I do not want you mindless when I finally take you to bed. I want you to know exactly what you’re getting into. I want you to know exactly what you are agreeing to when you say yes, Dmitri, yes. So I will not seduce you. You will choose it. You will beg me,” he said, his tone rough, harsh, his dark eyes blazing.

This was not the laid-back playboy she’d met, casually sparring with a man in the gym. This was the warrior. And for the first time she truly appreciated what he was.

And it only enticed her further.

“I would not...” She tried to force words through her dry throat. “I will not...”

“If you will not, then we will not. I will not push it.” He unbound the leather cuff that was tied around his wrist. She had noticed it on their first meeting and a couple of times since. It had stood out because he was a man who didn’t seem to care about his appearance one way or another, which meant it wasn’t just a simple accessory. He took it in his hands, then held it out toward her. “Take this.”

She closed the distance between them and took it, running her fingers over the leather, still warm from the contact with his skin.

Everything about him made her warm.

“What is this?” she asked.

“This is something that I always wore when I fought. It’s kind of a good luck charm. It has no real sentimental significance. I wore it in fights.” His tone was detached, as though he was speaking well-rehearsed lines that were meant for someone else. “I don’t fight anymore. I only wear it out of habit. It’s yours now.”

There was something more. Something he wasn’t telling her. And yet she felt she had no right to question him. Because she shouldn’t care.

But she found she did.

“Why?” she asked. “Why are you giving this to me? To make me feel indebted to you? If so, I must tell you it will take more than a leather bracelet to accomplish that.”

“That isn’t the idea. I feel in debt to you. You gave something to me last night.”

Her heart pounded wildly, and she wondered for a moment if he had guessed. If he had known that he was the first man to ever give her an orgasm. If he had figured out that she was a virgin. That would be a humiliation too many.

“What is it I gave you?” she asked.

“Your release, princess. I consider that a gift.” He reached out and touched the end of the cuff, avoiding her skin. “I’m giving this to you with no expectation. It makes us even. However—” his eyes met hers, and a sharp shock of pleasure hit her low and square in the stomach “—if you would like to be with me all you have to do is return this.” He lowered his hand and took a step back.

She swallowed hard, drawing her hands to her chest, holding the cuff tight. “Why?”

“Nathan seduced you. You were young, and he took advantage of that. If you and I are together I want to know it’s your choice. I want to know for sure that it’s because you want to be with me. That you have made a decision to be with me. This will prove it.”

She curled her fingers around the strap. “Well, you won’t be getting it back, so I really hope you weren’t lying about it having no sentimental value attached to it.”

“I wasn’t. That is your decision. I will not take it from you. As I said, if you want me, you will have to give it to me. I know what it is like to be left with no choice. I find nothing attractive about forcing a woman into my bed. Force by tricking someone, by stripping their options, threatening them...all of it is the same to me. I know what it’s like. To have the impossible before you. A moment that changes everything. That wrenches your choices right from your hands. I will not do the same to you. You have my word.”

And suddenly, Dmitri turned and walked out of the room, leaving her standing there clutching the leather bracelet.

She looked down at it, the symbol of her choice that he had placed in her hand. And she tightened her grasp. She was going to resist this. She had to. If she didn’t, she would have no one to blame but herself.