Читать книгу Modern Romance June 2016 Books 1-4 - Линн Грэхем, Maisey Yates - Страница 17

CHAPTER EIGHT

‘SO, ARE YOU putting in a replacement now?’ Ella prompted the nurse who was engaged in removing the old contraceptive implant from her arm.

‘Dr Jenks only asked me to remove this one,’ the older woman responded cagily.

Perhaps her doctor thought she was suffering side effects from the implant, Ella reasoned wryly. That would mean looking at other contraceptive methods. Hopefully one without side effects, she thought ruefully, because she had only come to see the doctor in the first place because she wasn’t feeling herself. Not ill exactly, just not right. Her appetite had changed, her taste buds had gone awry and she was suddenly so blasted tired all the time! He had sent her for a battery of tests the day before and made a second appointment for her.

Ella was grateful she had come home, which had enabled her to see her usual doctor rather than having to find a new one in London. She had persuaded Nikolai that she wanted to be married from home, so that family and friends could easily attend, and tomorrow was the big day. She still couldn’t quite believe it but there was something that felt very right about the reality that she literally couldn’t wait to get down the aisle to become Nikolai’s wife.

‘It’s called love,’ Gramma had told her cheerfully. ‘I’d have been worried if you weren’t excited about getting married to him.’

Resisting the urge to rub her slightly sore arm with its neat little plaster, Ella returned to the doctor’s surgery. She was thinking about her wedding dress, which she adored, when one of the doctor’s measured words finally penetrated her wandering concentration. Conceived...conceived? Her mind went blank as though the word were foreign because the very unexpectedness of it threw rationality out of the window.

‘But I had the implant!’ she bleated, hands abruptly closing very tightly together on her lap.

‘As I pointed out, the implant is only effective for three years and you missed your follow-up appointment and failed to respond to the letter that was sent out.’

‘But it is only three years since—’ she began heatedly.

Dr Jenks went through the dates with her. In fact, it turned out to be over four years since she had got the implant and she had the vaguest recollection of the reminder letter he mentioned. After Paul had passed away, contraception had been very low on the list of her priorities. But Ella was still stunned to appreciate that when she had lost her virginity with Nikolai she had not been protected as she had naively assumed. Her main mistake had been the assumption that the implant lasted for four years when in fact it only worked for three. And she had conceived. Nikolai was going to be shattered...but Ella was equally convinced that she would never recover from the shock either.

Until that moment Ella had believed that total honesty between partners was the only way to go. And then without the smallest warning, she found herself changing her mind. Floating down the aisle to Nikolai and announcing almost simultaneously that she was pregnant would absolutely ruin the day. He would be taken aback, unprepared, stressed out by the news because Nikolai was a planner, who liked everything in its place, everything clean and tidy. And there was nothing clean or tidy about an unplanned pregnancy when they would be only newly married and looking forward to the unfettered joys of coupledom. In addition he had been quite blunt about only wanting to become a parent in a few years’ time.

They were flying to Crete after the wedding to stay at the house Nikolai owned there. She would tell him on the island, when he was relaxed and better able to handle an unforeseen development. Pregnant! Ella drove back home and reflected that her own mother must have suffered a similar shock when she realised that she was pregnant. Ella, after all, had not been a planned baby either and her arrival had threatened to derail her mother’s career plans. Soon after her birth, however, her mother had flown off to take up her top job, leaving her infant daughter behind with her father and grandmother. To walk away had been her choice. What if Nikolai felt so strongly about not starting a family that he chose to walk away too? No, that was the absolute worst-case scenario, Ella told herself firmly. He had said that he was willing to have a family eventually and there was nothing wrong with holding back on telling him her news. It wasn’t as though she would be telling him any lies, she was simply delaying telling him, she reasoned defensively.

Ella knew that once again her own plans would be forced back on hold because it would be incredibly difficult for her to adequately complete her training while she was pregnant. But she knew too that sometimes it was necessary to make the best one could of a life change that came as a surprise. It would only be a bad development if she allowed herself to think that it was. All right, she conceded, the timing wasn’t what she would have chosen but she had always wanted children. She thought of all the worse things that could have happened, imagining how she would have felt had she had trouble conceiving, and before very long her dismay subsided entirely. As for Nikolai? She would wrap up her news like the gift she believed it to be and present it to him at the best possible moment.

* * *

‘You look so beautiful,’ Gramma enthused warmly as Ella twirled at the foot of the stairs.

Her father was misty-eyed at the picture his daughter made in her lace wedding gown. The gorgeous lace was her only adornment because Ella, conscious of her diminutive height, had opted for a plain design that bared only her back while encasing her arms and slender body in sleek lace. On her feet she rocked a considerably less conservative set of strappy, very high-heeled lace ankle boots, teamed with stockings and a garter. Nikolai liked boots and Ella was in the mood to give her bridegroom boots.

She hadn’t breathed a word about her pregnancy since she left the surgery. She felt that announcement should first be heard by her baby’s father. They travelled to the little local church in the limo Nikolai had sent, her bodyguard bringing up the rear in his own vehicle. The church was full and she walked down the aisle slowly on her father’s arm, noting all the unfamiliar faces on Nikolai’s side of the church and thinking it sad that he had not a single relative to grace those pews. She had, however, from the letters and cards she had found in the town house, discovered that Nikolai’s grandfather had twin sisters still living on the island of Crete, where the Drakos family had originated, and she wondered if Nikolai would make use of that information.

Nikolai watched his bride approach with bated breath. His brain told him there was no such thing as perfection but he saw only perfection, from the sleek coil of Ella’s bronze hair to the fine-tuned delicacy of her figure encased in exquisite lace. It had been less than a week since he had seen her but it felt like a lot longer. Thee mou, he couldn’t sleep for wanting her and, as he had so frequently told himself, getting married meant an end to cold showers and wondering where she was, who she might be with and what she was doing. He watched her drift towards him with keenly appreciative eyes of possession and pride.

Ella smiled at the altar, looking up into those melted-caramel eyes, admiring the smooth angle of his strong jawline, the jut of his nose and the high cheekbones that lent his lean, darkly handsome features such electrifying magnetism. The ring went onto her finger and she thought about the baby with a deep inner sense of happiness. Since she had found out so early it would be ages until she started showing and she had plenty of time before she needed to worry about telling Nikolai that he was going to be a father.

They travelled to the hotel where the reception was being staged. ‘You have a lot of friends,’ she remarked.

‘Mostly business acquaintances,’ he corrected. ‘While you seem to have hundreds of cousins.’

‘Dad has five sisters,’ she reminded him.

‘My very best wishes. I’m Marika Makris, Cyrus’s sister.’ A middle-aged brunette wearing a superb diamond necklace introduced herself to Ella while the bridal couple circulated amongst their guests before the wedding breakfast was served. Nikolai had mentioned in passing that Marika would be attending and she knew that the older woman had been estranged from her brother for years, so there should be nothing uncomfortable about the meeting.

‘Ella... Drakos,’ Ella framed and laughed. ‘It’s so hard to say a different name but Nikolai very much wanted me to take his name.’

‘Naturally, you are Nikolai’s crowning triumph,’ Marika informed her with a smug little smile.

‘Well...thank you,’ Ella responded after a blank pause in which no inspiration came to mind.

‘Nikolai and Cyrus have been enemies for so long that my brother forgot to watch his back,’ the brunette remarked sagely before drifting on at a regal pace.

Ella blinked in bewilderment. Enemies? Since when had Nikolai and Cyrus been enemies? She knew they didn’t get on, but thought they were just business rivals. But enemies spoke of something much deeper between them. Both men were Greek, which she supposed was the connection. Resolving to ask Nikolai about that comment later, she took her seat for the meal.

After eating, she went to the cloakroom to repair her make-up. As she paused at a crowded corner to allow people to pass her by she heard a woman say loudly, ‘What I want to know is what does she have that the rest of us don’t? Nikolai is the original ice man and he ditched all of us in record time!’

Ella’s brows rose. ‘Ditched all of us?’ Who was she eavesdropping on? The ex-girlfriends’ club?

‘She is beautiful,’ another female voice opined regretfully.

‘She’s the size of a shrimp!’ someone else objected. ‘But she must have some very special quality for him to be marrying her.’

‘Maybe she’s a wildcat in bed,’ the first voice suggested.

‘Maybe he’s finally fallen in love,’ the kinder voice that had described Ella as beautiful remarked.

There was an outbreak of female voices at that point. ‘If pigs could fly!’ was one of the few repeatable opinions expressed.

Lifting her chin and gathering her pride, Ella rounded the corner and passed the small group of fashionably dressed women all waving glasses around and talking loudly. Even a cursory glance in their direction was sufficient to warn her that Nikolai had very good taste and while Nikolai had apparently dumped those women they were all attending the wedding with partners. How naive she had been not to be prepared for the reality that Nikolai was almost certain to have former lovers attending, she thought wryly.

She studied herself in the mirror. A shrimp? Well, compared to those tall, shapely ladies outside she was indeed a shrimp in size, she conceded ruefully. Seemingly Nikolai had once had a particular type he went for because all those women were blonde. So where did she fit in? And why had he married her? She could not help recalling Cyrus’s claim that Nikolai was notoriously badly behaved with women. Possibly that had been true, Ella reasoned, but people could change...couldn’t they?

‘You’re as stiff as a fence post,’ Nikolai groaned as they opened the dancing, something Ella was not very confident about doing in front of an audience. ‘And you’re very quiet. Naturally I’m worried.’

‘How many ex-girlfriends of yours are here today?’

His wide shoulders tensed. ‘A couple, and only because they’re now married to friends of mine. Why? Has someone said something they shouldn’t?’

‘Don’t talk down to me like I’m a child!’ Ella snapped into his chest, feeling distinctly shrimp-like in spite of her heels.

‘If you won’t tell me what’s wrong there’s nothing I can do about it.’

‘There’s nothing wrong,’ Ella declared loftily, drinking in the scent of his cologne and the husky, intrinsic smell that was purely him and which warmed her somewhere down deep inside. There was no way on earth she was about to allow insecurity to drive her into arguing with him on their wedding day. ‘But be warned. I’m the jealous type. And I may be small but I’m lethal.’

‘I knew that already,’ Nikolai confessed, long fingers splaying caressingly across her bare spine as he shifted his lithe hips against her. ‘Lethally appealing and lethally sexy.’

‘Wait until you see the boots,’ she whispered teasingly, wildly aware of his arousal and flattered that he was in that state purely because he was close to her. ‘And the garter and the stockings.’

‘I’m getting you in stockings for my wedding night?’ Nikolai murmured thickly. ‘Bring it on, khriso mou!’

And Ella laughed and forgot about what she had overheard. Of course he had exes and a past but that was life and she had to live with it.

* * *

‘I felt sad when I realised that you didn’t have a single relative at our wedding,’ Ella admitted during the flight in the private jet to Crete.

‘I didn’t feel sad,’ Nikolai countered squarely, lounging back in his leather seat, very much in command. ‘But then I didn’t have a white-picket-fence childhood like yours.’

‘It wasn’t like that. I didn’t have a mother,’ Ella argued and shared her story.

‘You had a father and a grandmother who loved you. You were lucky.’

But Ella would never forget how rejected she had felt when she had first met her mother as a teenager. Her mother had not regretted never having got to know her and, more hurtfully still, had had no ambition to foster an adult friendship with her long-lost daughter either. It had been a one-off meeting and a disappointment. In truth it had made Ella better appreciate the family she did have.

‘Family can be toxic,’ Nikolai remarked with rich cynicism.

‘How...toxic?’ she questioned uncertainly. ‘Tell me about your childhood.’

‘It’s ugly.’

‘I can handle ugly. Tell me about your father.’

Nikolai grimaced. ‘He got into trouble from an early age. He was thrown out of several schools for dealing in drugs,’ he divulged.

‘How did you find that out?’

‘My grandfather’s solicitor told me what he knew about my background when he was trying to explain why the old man was so determined not to meet me,’ Nikolai explained with a wry twist of his expressive mouth. ‘Although my father was given every support to turn his life around and numerous second chances he continually chose to return to crime and violence.’

‘Some people are just born with that tendency,’ Ella imputed, sadness gripping her that Nikolai could not even respect his father’s memory. No son would want such a father and nor would he want to grow up in such a man’s image. ‘What about your mother?’

‘She was Russian...a lap dancer called Natalya.’

‘You’re half Russian?’ Ella cut in, her surprise unhidden.

‘When Natalya became pregnant with my sister, my father married her. Possibly the only conventional thing he ever did in his life. At some stage my grandfather disinherited him and cut off all contact with him. I have few memories before the age of five,’ Nikolai admitted stiffly. ‘I do remember chaos...shouts, screams, hiding behind a locked door with my sister begging me to keep quiet. My father was in and out of prison. We moved around a lot. There were frequent police raids, gang attacks. My sister looked after me.’

Ella was quietly appalled by what she was learning about his background and finally comprehending why Nikolai would say that a family could be toxic. ‘Why not your mother? Was she at work?’

‘No, she didn’t work. She was always in the background somewhere drunk or high. But for Sofia I would either have starved or been beaten to death. My father took his frustrations out on me,’ Nikolai volunteered without any expression at all, watching her as though he was measuring her reactions to what he was telling her, which made her all the more careful not to reveal a sympathy, which could hurt his pride. ‘He broke Sofia’s nose once when she came between us in an effort to protect me... I was more her child than my mother’s.’

‘I’m really sorry it was so bad for you,’ Ella whispered, green eyes luminous with a compassion she couldn’t hide.

She wondered if anyone but his sister had ever loved Nikolai. And he had lost her as well. Was that why he kept himself so isolated? Why he was so determinedly detached?

‘My parents died in a car crash when I was ten and my grandfather set up a trust to pay for my education. I was sent straight to boarding school in England.’

‘He saved every one of your school reports,’ Ella reminded him, because she had told him what she had found in his grandfather’s desk. ‘And yet he didn’t want to meet you?’

‘He was afraid of being disappointed. I think he’d already worked out by then that if you make an emotional investment in individuals you get hurt, and he was old and tired.’

‘So, he kept you at arm’s length.’ Ella sighed. ‘But he missed out on so much. Obviously you’re not like your father.’

‘I’m brighter but I don’t know that I’m better,’ Nikolai murmured with forbidding honesty, studying her in all her bridal finery. So appealing and beautiful, so vulnerable, so clean. She had probably never done a really mean thing in her life. Ella was too good for him. He knew that he didn’t deserve her. He had seduced her with blackmail into his bed...no honour or decency there! And if she knew him now as he truly was and stripped of pretence, she would never have married him.

‘Your troubled background was what made you...unsure about having a family, wasn’t it?’ Ella probed helplessly.

Nikolai shrugged a broad shoulder. ‘Of course. What does a man like me know about being part of a normal family? How could I ever be a father when I wouldn’t know where to begin?’

Ella paled. ‘You could learn.’

‘And what if I don’t have the interest to learn? I’ve heard that children put a lot of pressure on a relationship. Why would you take that risk?’ Nikolai enquired with sardonic bite.

Ella could only think of the tiny seed in her womb, which she would have protected with her life, and she turned her head away lest her face reveal too much. For the first time she was scared of what she had to tell Nikolai. It was true that, while he had no experience of family life, he could certainly learn. But would he want to learn? A baby coming so early in their marriage would definitely impose restrictions on them that he might well resent. Yet it was important to Ella that her baby have two loving parents, for she knew how much her own mother’s indifference had hurt her even as a young adult.

‘And I’m not unsure about whether or not to have children,’ Nikolai contradicted. ‘I have simply never felt the need to reproduce.’

‘But you agreed that if I—’ she began heatedly.

‘Yes. I’m not that selfish. I will adapt to whatever the future brings.’

But how far would ‘adapting’ get him if he had a fundamental dislike of the idea of becoming a parent? Ella repressed the thought and breathed in deep and slow. She had to be patient and understanding, not critical and pushy. Honey was much more effective than vinegar.

She collided with hard dark eyes, finally noticing the rigidity of his sculpted bone structure. Nikolai’s sheer tension leapt out at her. She had raised sensitive issues when she’d forced him to share the story of his dysfunctional childhood and family. Was it any wonder he was on the defensive? Still gorgeous though, no matter what mood he was in, she thought helplessly as she studied him, her guilty conscience assailing her until the germ of a wild idea struck her. The instant she thought of it she wanted to smash the mould of his undoubtedly low expectations and seduce him.

Could she? Dared she? Wasn’t this the male who had moved heaven and earth to bring her into his life and his bed? With Nikolai she never needed to doubt her welcome. Nikolai always wanted her. Uplifted by that conviction, she felt bold but she also needed to be closer to him and she craved the soothing balm of the intense connection they shared when they made love. Unclipping her seat belt, she stood up before she could lose her nerve. ‘Ask the cabin staff to stay out,’ she told him tightly.

His brow indented as he lifted the phone at his elbow and spoke. He stared at her, watching the colour rise in her cheeks. ‘Why?’

‘Newly married? Do not disturb? Do I need to draw a picture?’ she asked teasingly, feeling the wanton heat of anticipation coil at the heart of her.

‘I think perhaps you do,’ Nikolai murmured, still frowning, still not getting the message.

Ella tugged up the tight skirt of her gown and knelt very deliberately down at his feet and pressed his thighs apart. Only as she reached for his belt buckle did the extreme tension go out of him to be replaced by tension of an entirely different variety.

‘You’re kidding me?’ Nikolai husked, black lashes rising over stunned dark eyes.

‘Does this feel like a wind-up?’ Ella enquired, running a caressing palm down over the revealing bulge at his groin.

He shivered, hard dark eyes flashing to pools of melted-caramel astonishment.

Face hot, Ella ran down his zip. Helpfully he lifted his hips to allow her to move his pants out of the way. She was determined to use all the things that she had learnt from the books she had read. Her tongue stole a long swipe along the length of him.

Nikolai swore in Greek and pushed back in his seat with a little groan. ‘I never know what to expect from you but I adore the way you continually surprise me. Presumably you know what you’re doing...’

‘No, this technique is straight out of a book.’

‘A book?’ he repeated in disbelief.

‘Shut up...you’re distracting me,’ she muttered shakily, settling down to practise everything she had learned with enthusiasm.

Nikolai very quickly decided that she must’ve read a humdinger of a text. Her tongue stroked and flicked and circled and her luscious lips engulfed. Her warm, wet mouth took him to paradise. His hands fisted in her hair and as she found her rhythm an earthy groan of satisfaction escaped him. She looked up at him once when he was right on the edge, little shudders travelling through his muscular thighs, eyes glowing gold.

Nikolai had never been so aroused and he knew he wouldn’t last long. He tried to back off once he realised he was about to come but she wouldn’t let him take control. He climaxed in a storm of raw excitement and threw his dark head back, watching in wonderment as his so recently virginal bride swallowed, zipped him back up, straightened her dress and returned to her seat as though nothing had happened.

‘A book?’ Nikolai queried raggedly as he shifted with voluptuous contentment in his seat.

‘Why not a book? I don’t like not knowing how to do things.’

‘I’m willing to teach you anything you ask, so willing,’ Nikolai savoured in a roughened undertone, still barely able to credit what she had just done. ‘You are insanely sexy, khriso mou. I am a very lucky man.’

Ella was so pleased that she’d chased the shadows away. His eyes had been haunted because she had asked him to talk about his disturbing childhood, but she had sent his thoughts and his imagination racing in a far more positive direction. There was more she needed to know about Nikolai’s past, but she had learnt enough for the present and she loved him. Loved him so much that she couldn’t bear to see shadows in his lean dark face and listen to him insisting that he wasn’t sensitive or upset when he was.

And she had learned from what he had told her as well. One person had rejected her but more than one had rejected Nikolai: his mother, his father, his grandfather. Of course he didn’t know how a family operated. Of course he worried about being a father when his own had set such a bad example. But with her love and support his outlook would change so that when he found out about their baby he would feel very differently...wouldn’t he?