Читать книгу I Shocked The Sheriff - Mara Fox, Mara Fox - Страница 9

THE PHONE STARTLED HER out of a nightmare and her hand shook as she reached for the receiver. She pressed it hard against her ear, “Hello?” she rasped out.

“Roxy? Is that you?”

Roxy’s heart sank. “Yeah, Mick, it’s me. How did you find me?”

“Your dad’s housekeeper told me where you were staying. She told me you’re sick.” Panic sharpened his voice.

“I’m not sick. I just got dehydrated and my blood sugar was low. I’m fine now. Where are you? Are you straight?”

“How could I be? You know what Joey did to himself.”

The panic became pain.

“He’s going to be all right.”

“He did it deliberately. He just couldn’t handle it anymore. I’m so tired of fighting this, Roxy. I’m tired of being alone. I want someone to take care of me for a change. Someone strong enough to rely on or I’m outta here.”

Roxy nodded. She could understand being tired of fighting. There’d been many days when the siren song of alcohol had been almost too much to bear and death had seemed easier. The course both her mother and her brother had taken when their addictions had overwhelmed them.

She’d also needed someone to turn to, but Roxy would allow no one to help until that terrible morning when she’d hit rock bottom. She’d finally called her father begging for help, and he’d been there for her.

“Roxy?”

She struggled to sit up, grasping the phone in a death grip. “I’m here, Mick.”

“I need you to come home. I’m falling into the pit.” Obviously stoned, he sobbed without restraint.

“What are you doing? Booze or pills? Mick?”

“Both, man. What does it matter? I’m gonna end up like Joey and I don’t care. Better sooner than later.”

“Mick? Just tell me where you are.”

“I’m at Club Med. Where do you think I am?” His husky voice suddenly sounded sly.

Roxy grasped the phone tighter. “Mick? Tell me where you are.” She couldn’t go from bar to bar. The lights, the booze, the lure of the only true escape would suck her down.

Especially with the specter of Joey hanging over her. He’d been doing so well and then he’d just given in; he’d gotten drunk, added the right pills. She’d been so frightened. Suddenly she was back in time, cradling her dead brother, David, whose beautiful eyes were glazed in death. Dead by his own hand at twenty-six.

His flesh had been so cold…That scene had stolen a childhood of wonderful memories. So she tried never to think about David at all.

At least Joey was alive.

“Mick, please, tell me where you are!” Her voice echoed in the empty motel room.

“Damn him.” The pain in Mick’s voice touched Roxy’s heart. The desperation in it touched her soul.

Mick and his brother were really close. They owned a bar. They’d fed her when she’d been so far down she couldn’t hold a job and wouldn’t go to her father for money. They’d given her a job and self-respect. Then after she’d gotten sober they’d both talked about selling the business, about getting straight. Joey who was forty, ten years older than his brother, had been leading the way.

Roxy knew exactly how Mick felt.

She’d also looked up to David, the way her students looked up to her. That was another reason she couldn’t go back. She ran a support group. Those kids deserved better than to have their mentor fall apart.

Look at me, she thought. I’m no better than Mick. Hot tears covered her face. “Mick, you’re so lucky. He’s still alive. Joey’s still alive and he’s going to be okay.”

“I’m lucky? I sure don’t feel lucky. I’m trying, Roxy, but why fight it? Joey was stronger than me and he couldn’t do it. Why should I even try?”

She heard him take a deep breath.

“I’m sorry I called.” He sounded as if her grief had sobered him. “You deserve more than a bum like me for a friend. I should be thinking about you. I’d do anything for you and that includes getting the hell outta of your life. Meanwhile I’m going to get so strung out I won’t even remember I had a brother.”

“Mick!”

But only the buzz of the dial tone answered her desperate query. She put the receiver down and curled into a ball, shivering, like she would never be warm again.

She had to go to him.

Where will you find him? He’ll hide until he’s too stoned to remember he’s hiding.

She’d find him if she had to search every bar in Dallas. She had a responsibility to help another alcoholic. She couldn’t fail him when so many people had been there to help her. She’d find him even if she ended up picking up a drink.

And then you’ll die.

The shivering turned to outright shaking.

The shaking continued. She recognized the voice of reason. This part of Roxy knew she wouldn’t survive another binge. It wasn’t even the diabetes. It was the threat of finding herself at the bottom. If she ever went down to that place again she couldn’t come back up.

The phone rang again. She picked it up, hoping Mick had come to his senses. “Hello?”

“Roxy?”

“Daddy, it’s me.” She rubbed a lock of hair against her cheek.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. “You sound terrible, but you told me they had the diabetes under control.”

She sniffed, “Mick just called me.”

He paused for a moment. “I figured he might. I’m sorry, honey. Mrs. Petty gave him your number at the motel because he said it was an emergency. She thought it was okay because Joey’s in your AA group.”

“Daddy, he was really stoned. I have to come home and find him. Before he hurts himself.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“I know. But…”

“I’ll find him, Roxy. You stay where you are. We’ve gotten three calls from the drunks you used to run with.”

“He’s not like them.” She knew she sounded defensive.

“I understand, but he’s going to hurt you, Roxy. You can’t allow him to depend on you. He has to help himself. You understand better than anyone.” The pain of having tried to help her and failed was there in his voice. The pain of a man who’d let his work consume him until he’d lost his wife to alcoholism, and his son to drug addiction and suicide.

It represented another chunk of guilt she had to bear. Her responsibility to Mick warred with her need to atone to her father for the years of heartache he’d endured.

What am I going to do? “I should come home. Joey and Mick need me.” She knew her tone lacked conviction.

“No. Just stay put. You ran because you knew you couldn’t handle your grief for David and Joey. I know this brought it all back.” He sounded as if he was working to keep his own emotions in check.

“I love you, Daddy.”

“I love you, too. And I worry about you. This is too much at one time. Joey isn’t out of the hospital and he’d want you to do whatever you needed to stay straight. I’ll handle Mick.” The desperation in his voice convinced her more than anything he said.

“What will you do about Mick?” She sniffed again. Roxy felt guilty about abandoning Mick. His suffering touched more than her sense of responsibility, it touched her heart. He’d sounded so alone.

“I’ll find him. I’ll look all night long if I have too. Honey, I promise. I’ll find him and keep him safe. I’ll call someone from your AA emergency list and let them baby-sit him once I’ve got him.”

She took a deep breath, thinking. “Call Michelle, Bubba Watkins, or Houston Sharp. All of them reach out to other alcoholics; they’ll understand what he’s going through.” She couldn’t explain any further. Her dad knew why. Everything she knew about her friends from AA she kept confidential. Just as they guarded her ugliest secrets.

“I’ll call them. I’ll call you back if I can’t reach any of them and need more names. Roxy, I promise to take care of this and I’ll even visit Joey so he knows how much you wished you could be there for him.”

She no longer felt torn by her responsibilities. God willing, there would be other times, when she was stronger, when she could do the reaching out. “Thank you, Daddy. I feel better.”

“I love you. I’ll send you the two thousand first thing in the morning. Do you need anything else? Should I ask one of your AA friends to come and stay with you?”

“No, I think it might be good for me to be alone. It’ll give me some time to think.”

“If you need me I can be there in just a few hours. There has to be a municipal airport nearby.”

He sounded worried for her, but she knew he’d accept whatever decision she made. He’d learned long before she’d started drinking that she had to make her own choices, live with her own mistakes. She’d never been a model child.

Every time he’d forced her to do anything it had been a disaster. She’d fought him with every ounce of her will. Until the last binge. Then she’d gone crawling to him for help and he’d been there. He knew things about her that would make any parent cringe with horror. But no matter what other mistakes he’d made as a parent, he’d been there when it counted. She loved him for that.

“I’m really okay. What you’ve already done is more than enough. Thank you.”

“I want to do more for you, Roxy. What else can I do to help?”

“Like I told you when I called from the hospital, I just had to get out of Dallas. That’s all. Everything reminded me. I didn’t go for a drink, just a long drive. Do you understand, Dad?”

“Yes, and I’m so proud of you.”

He sounded choked up. It made her eyes flow again.

“I love you, Daddy.”

“I’ll call you when the dust settles. Take care of yourself, baby.”

“Don’t worry, Daddy. I can’t get in too much trouble in this hick town.”

ROXY SCRAMBLED OUT OF BED. Her head throbbed from crying, her eyelids felt like sandpaper against her eyes. Her nightmares had been particularly vivid this time and she doubted the wisdom of staying in this one-horse town for another day. She debated with herself as she cleaned up and dressed.

She looked at the limp collar of the shirt she’d been wearing since Wednesday night when she’d gotten in her car for the drive. Hard to believe it was Friday morning, almost the weekend. Not that it mattered when she had a couple more weeks before school started.

The shirt smelled a bit rank. I really need clothes. Roxy raked her fingers through the damp tangle of her shoulder-length hair. I need a hairbrush. Then she bent to examine her freckles in the harsh light of the bathroom. And I definitely need some makeup.

There had to be some store equivalent to a Wal-Mart, even in a town this size.

Her stomach rumbled. She patted it. Okay, breakfast first, the bank, and then shopping. She grabbed the twenties she’d accepted from Luke. She looked at them curiously. What was it about him? She’d met all kinds of men; rich successful men and long-haired rebels oozing sensuality. Still, it was the uptight Farmer John who made her want to give herself up to his keeping.

I wonder if he makes love with the same attention to detail as he exercises in his job? A little quiver went through her at the thought.

Roxy pulled a lock of hair up to her cheek. I hope he didn’t get the impression that my offer for him to come into my motel room was payback for his assistance. I feel humiliated enough as it is. She rubbed the curl against her face. It doesn’t matter. We won’t see each other again. With a sigh, she pushed her hair back off of her face.

Shoving the twenties back into her pocket, she picked up the key to the room. The large ring had a plastic tag in the shape of a cactus with the number fourteen in bright orange. It reminded her of the creative hall passes at the high school.

One of her students had given her a Porsche hall pass he’d made in shop. He’d even painted the eight-inch wooden car the brightest yellow he could find. All the kids admired her car, but at a respectful distance. The tough kids she mentored took care of their own, and that included her. She smiled at the thought of her students. She missed them. They gave her life meaning.

From Luke’s car tour of the main street, she remembered, roughly, the location of The Golden Pan. Looking in the windows of the shops along the way she thought the Western Round-Up would do for jeans, shorts and shirts. The drugstore across the street would probably carry toiletries.

It was already getting hot so she entered the air-conditioned lobby with a sigh of relief. Various animal trophies littered the walls. A sign propped up beside the register advertised an opening for a waitress. Roxy noted it absently as she sought out a table. Several cups of coffee and a stack of pancakes quickly followed.

Sometime during her meal she decided being alone would allow her too much time to think, although going home right now wasn’t the best option. She felt cowardly, her flight from Dallas proof she wasn’t strong enough to face her old drinking crowd. Maybe I’m fooling myself. Maybe I can’t fight this fight. If bad times come around I’ll just fold.

But a bad time had come around and she’d reached for her keys rather than a drink.

It was progress.

Pitiful. But progress.

Idly she watched the pregnant waitress trying to serve all the tables around her. Roxy needed something to pass the time until she was ready to go home, something with long, exhausting hours. Right there, having made yet another impulsive decision she would probably regret, Roxy got the waitress’s attention.

ROXY BALANCED the heavy tray full of home-style dinners. As she prepared to put the meat loaf special in front of a customer, the rancher gestured toward the catsup bottle.

“I’d like some catsup, please. The bottle on the table’s almost empty.”

“Sure. Be with you in just a moment.” Roxy finished handing out plates, asked if the customers needed anything else and then moved to check on her next table.

Roxy had been hired on the spot and had an apron strapped on her faster than you could say “soup of the day.” Lisa, the pregnant waitress, had practically kissed her when she’d asked about the opening for a job, even though she made it clear she wouldn’t be staying long. Lisa had been even more excited when she’d found out Roxy had experience. It was no big deal. In the years she’d been openly drinking, she’d avoided her dad and thrown his money back in his face. She’d survived by becoming proficient at all kinds of jobs.

A customer with two children was trying to get her attention. “Yes, may I help you?” Roxy asked as she approached the table.

While one child drew on a napkin, the other was yelling. “I need two Dr. Peppers, and a Diet Coke,” said the harried mother, “and another pen if you can spare it.”

Roxy handed the woman her extra pen. I’m glad I teach high school.

She went on to the next table to jot down more drink orders. Suddenly Roxy found herself nodding absently at a customer, having no idea what he’d just ordered. Sheriff Luke Hermann had just walked into the diner with a perfect, petite blonde. He and the blonde settled in a booth beside the lady with the kids.

Roxy gritted her teeth and plastered on a smile. She pretended to finish the order and then she sauntered up to the table where Luke was seated.

Luke dwarfed the little gal. She was slight enough to look childlike beside him. Her hair was true blond without a hint of red or curl.

There was no way that little Barbie doll had a temper. I’ll bet she doesn’t know how to stand up to the man. She probably just said “Yes, Luke” and “No, Luke” and “Whatever you want, Luke.” Roxy ground her teeth.

“Yes, Luke” and “No, Luke” were the last things she wanted to say to him. Although he’d been honest with Roxy, she was stunned at how much it hurt to see them together.

His very surprised reaction to her presence was almost a balm to her ego, so she forged ahead. Best to get this over with—she was sure to run into him as long as she stayed in town. The long arm of the law and all that. “Hello, Luke. You ready to order a drink?” Luckily the drinks in this restaurant were all nonalcoholic.

“Hello, Miss Adams,” he stuttered. “How are you feelin’?”

“I’m fine.” Roxy’s smile went even wider. He looked like a little boy with a handful of forbidden cookies.

“What are you doing here?” He rushed on. “Didn’t you get the wire?”

“I got the wire, but I had some time on my hands and Lisa needed help. I dropped the twenties at the police station. Thanks for the loan.”

The blonde’s head went back and forth between them like a tennis ball. “Luke, care to introduce us?” she asked impatiently.

Maybe she wasn’t as blond as she appeared.

Luke gestured toward Roxy. “Carla Rae Sweeny, this is Roxanne Adams. She had a medical problem yesterday morning and I drove her over to the clinic.”

Carla gave Roxy a smile which didn’t meet her shrewd eyes. “He’s always rescuing strays, aren’t you, darling?” She put a possessive hand on Luke’s arm.

Roxy noticed Carla’s long beautiful nails were painted a nice pale pink. Insipid. Still, if this was what he wanted… “I guess you’re the fiancée?”

There was a sudden silence all around them. Carla sat as if stunned. Roxy wondered why. The girl had staked her claim, so why did she look as if her world had just tilted.