Читать книгу Six Australian Heroes - Margaret Way - Страница 29

IT STARTED to rain not long after they left the motorway, a grey drizzle which reflected the condition of Laura’s emotions. She ached to say something to take away the horribly strained silence which had permeated the car since their argument, but could not seem to find the courage to speak up.

Or was it common sense keeping her quiet?

If she were brutally honest, Laura suspected that if she opened her mouth she would start apologising wildly, then agreeing to whatever Ryan wanted just so that he wouldn’t drop her at her door. The thought of never seeing him again was appalling, so appalling that she began to wonder if she’d already fallen in love with him. It seemed unlikely, but why else would she feel so devastated? Surely it couldn’t still be just lust driving her feelings?

But, even as she speculated on the reason behind her despair, her eyes slid over to where Ryan’s hands were wrapped around the steering wheel. His hands were large, with long, strong fingers which had no doubt helped make him become a success as a goalkeeper. But none of that mattered to Laura. All she could think about when she looked at his hands was how gentle they’d been on her. Gentle, yet knowing. They’d explored all her orifices with stunning intimacy. She could feel them now, inside her, stroking, teasing, arousing.

Oh God, she thought as her body was suddenly overwhelmed by the most intense longing; her belly tightened as did her nipples. At least now I know, she thought wildly as hot blood roared around her veins, flushing her cheeks and making her break out into strangely chilling goose-bumps. Not love—still just lust.

She almost died of shame when he glanced over at her at that precise moment. It was impossible to hide the telling evidence of her flaming face. Impossible to look anything but what she was: desperate for him.

Yet he didn’t say a single word. He just stared at her for a long moment before returning his attention to the road. But she saw that his knuckles had whitened, and she could feel an answering tension in him. He knew what she wanted, and he wanted the same thing.

Not a word was spoken when he pulled up outside her house. They climbed out in the most appalling silence. Ryan helped her to carry her things up onto the front porch. Rambo didn’t make an appearance, which surprised her. Possibly he was curled up asleep in the neighbour’s rocking chair which was something he liked to do when she was away. She was left to fumble with her keys. Once the door was open, she turned to face Ryan, terrified that he would still leave, and equally terrified that he wouldn’t.

‘Ryan, I—’

‘Just shut up,’ he broke in, his face and eyes tormented as he dropped everything he was holding onto the verandah and pushed her inside the hallway, kicking the door shut behind him.

There was no question of fighting him, or even protesting, because she wanted him to do what it was obvious he was going to do. The trembling had already started inside. The trembling and the wild, uncontrollable excitement.

Yes, yes, slam me up against the wall, she urged silently as he did exactly that. Kiss me till I can’t think. Rip my clothes off. Ravish me.

‘God help me!’ she cried out when he finally surged up into her.

It was a manic mating; raw, rough and totally beyond reason. Beyond everything in this world which smacked of common sense and control.

And she revelled in it, her mouth gasping wide as he plundered her depths with the most primal passion. He came first, the fierce spasms of his flesh triggering her own cataclysmic climax. Laura’s release was so intense, so overwhelming, that she started to sob afterwards, tears streaming down her face as her arms flopped down by her side and her legs went to jelly. She might have slid down to the floor if Ryan’s body hadn’t been holding her up.

‘Oh God, Laura,’ he groaned, then clasped her tightly to him. ‘I’m so sorry. So dreadfully sorry.’

‘It … It’s all right …’ she somehow managed to stammer between sobs.

‘No,’ he said, taking her by the shoulders as he levered his body away from hers, his abrupt withdrawal bringing a startled gasp from her lungs. His eyes when they met hers were haunted. ‘It’s not all right. What I did just now … It was all wrong.’

His distress forced her to get control of her weeping so she could reassure him that he hadn’t raped her, if that was what he was thinking. She’d been with him all the way. She could have struggled, could have said no, but she hadn’t.

‘I’m as much to blame as you, Ryan,’ she choked out, not quite in control of her voice just yet.

‘I can’t accept that,’ he ground out as he zipped up his jeans then set about helping her with her clothes, which hadn’t been properly removed either, just enough to let him have his way with her. ‘I forced myself on you. And I didn’t use protection. What if you fall pregnant? I should be put up against a wall and shot!’

‘You didn’t force me, Ryan,’ she reiterated firmly. ‘I have free will and I wanted you to do what you did. I enjoyed it. You know I did.’

He just stared at her.

‘Let me assure you that my chances of getting pregnant are negligible,’ she went on, thankful that she was one of those girls who kept dates pretty clear in her head—not that her head was all that clear at the moment. ‘My period is due on Wednesday and I’m as regular as clockwork. It’s a very safe time for me in that regard.

‘Unless, of course,’ she added, her heart jolting as another not very nice thought came to her, ‘You’re worried about my catching something far worse than a baby.’ There was no use pretending that he wasn’t a player with a stream of partners behind him. Maybe he’d done this kind of thing before—had unsafe sex, and with someone not as safe as she was.

He looked genuinely shocked at her enquiry. ‘You have my word that your health is at no risk from me. I have never before had unsafe sex. Not once. This is a first for me, believe me.’

‘Really?’ Laura couldn’t help it. She smiled at his admission. There was something perversely flattering that she’d been the one and only woman to make him lose control like that.

‘Yes, really, Miss Smug.’ He cocked his head on one side and gave her a long thoughtful look. ‘I take it, then, that you won’t mind if I stay the night?’

‘I … er … was actually hoping for more than one night,’ she said, well aware that she wasn’t strong enough to send him away. Not yet.

Rambo bolting down the hallway towards her was a thankful distraction from the telling heat that was suddenly threatening to engulf her.

‘Hi, sweetie,’ she said. ‘Did you miss me?’

He miaowed once, then sauntered over and rubbed himself around Ryan’s ankles. When Ryan scooped him up into his arms, Rambo began to purr.

‘He likes you,’ Laura said, trying not to feel jealous.

‘He’s a very nice cat. Even with only one eye. His fur is incredibly soft.’

‘He’s very spoiled.’

‘I can imagine. Does he sleep on your bed every night?’

‘No. He likes to roam at night. I’ve tried locking him in, but when I do he just sits at the window in my room and cries. It’s easier to just let him do what he wants.’

‘Smart cat. He’s trained you well.’

‘I love him,’ she said somewhat defensively. ‘When you love your pet, you can’t bear to see it unhappy, or hurt.’

‘Hence the three-thousand-dollar vet bill,’ Ryan said.

Laura refused to be irked by the dry amusement in his voice. ‘I would have spent ten thousand dollars to keep Rambo alive! Now, if you don’t mind, I have to feed him or he’ll be a pain later on. And we wouldn’t want that, would we?’ she threw at him snakily.

He smiled a wry smile. ‘Glad to see that some things about you haven’t changed. Here,’ he said, and handed the cat over. ‘He’s all yours. By the way, after you’ve fed him, is there a chance of some coffee? You pointed the kitchen out to me yesterday.’

Only yesterday? Laura thought with amazement as she carried Rambo down to the kitchen. One short day and so much had changed. The twice-bitten-forever-shy Laura of yesterday would have worried herself sick over where her affair with Ryan was heading. This morning’s Laura had still been a little concerned.

The Laura who’d just had wild but fantastic sex up against a wall now looked at things very differently. No longer was she going to worry about falling in love with Ryan and ending up with another broken heart. She was going to embrace the lust which was still raging within her and live for the heat of the moment. The long-term future could go hang itself. The only future she cared about was the immediate future. Which was tonight.

Her heartbeat quickened as she realised that she would soon be back in bed with Ryan. Back in his arms, back experiencing the most incredible pleasure. She could not wait to be totally naked with him once more. To have him touch her everywhere. To touch him everywhere as well. Her head swirled at the thought of going down on him. Not reluctantly, but avidly. And certainly not because of some silly idea of sacrificial love. She wanted to feel that power which he’d described to her last night, wanted to make him lose control, all because of her.

It was a heady thought. Heady, intoxicating and thrilling.

Rambo’s impatient miaow snapped her back to the present.

‘You wouldn’t understand, Rambo,’ she muttered as she went about getting him the special treat she always fed him when she wanted him to settle. ‘You’ve been de-sexed. Now, here, eat up. After which I want you to be a good boy and don’t bother me for the rest of the night.’

‘I hope you’re not talking about me,’ Ryan said as he strode into the kitchen, his beautiful blue eyes glittering with amusement. ‘Because I don’t intend to be good. And I am going to bother you. But not till I’ve had some coffee. Strong coffee. I suggest you have some as well; don’t want you falling asleep on me.’ He glanced around. ‘I like your kitchen. The wood’s a nice colour.’

‘It’s oak,’ Laura said as she dropped the empty tin in the garbage. ‘Real oak.’

‘It’s classy,’ he said, and pulled out one of the two wooden stools which fronted the small breakfast bar. ‘Like you,’ he added.

Laura wasn’t sure what to say to such a compliment, so she settled for a simple, ‘Thank you,’ before turning away from him to put the kettle on and get everything ready for coffee.

‘I only have instant, I’m afraid,’ she said as she busied herself with the mugs.

‘No problem; I’m not fussy. Just make it black and strong, with no sugar.’

‘I don’t know how you can bear drinking coffee without milk and sugar.’

‘I learned when I had no milk and sugar,’ he returned dryly.

She frowned as she turned back to face him. ‘Were you really that poor once?’

‘You have no idea.’

‘No,’ she agreed thoughtfully. ‘I guess I haven’t. I may have been unhappy as a teenager but I was never poor. I certainly never went hungry. That must have been horrible.’

Ryan shrugged, as though he no longer thought about it. Or cared. ‘It made me appreciate things once I could afford them. And it made me work hard so that I could afford them. But enough of such talk. I never like talking about the past. It’s a waste of time.’

‘But the past is what makes you what you are today,’ Laura said, curious now to find out more about him. She realised that he’d revealed only scant details about his early life to her family yesterday. Though Gran had picked up on the fact that his childhood couldn’t have been easy.

‘Yes I do know that, Laura,’ he replied a little impatiently. ‘But I don’t subscribe to analysis of any kind. It does a person no good at all to rake over the past, especially when the things they’re raking over are usually wretched and made them miserable. It just sets off old problems again. Far better to put things behind you and move on.’

Laura almost said that was much easier said than done but decided to let the matter drop. She didn’t want to say or do anything to spoil the rest of the evening.

‘Speaking of moving on,’ he added dryly. ‘So come with me, woman. Bed awaits.’