Читать книгу At Any Price - Margaret Allison, Margaret Allison - Страница 10

Katie woke up the next morning feeling as if she had just dodged a bullet. She was surprised by her feelings for Jack. She had hoped that their years apart would’ve lessened her desire for him, that she was finally over him.

For a while at least, she had half convinced herself she had succeeded. After all, it had been so awkward in the diner. It hadn’t seemed as strange being with Jack in New York. But to be having dinner with the man she had loved so intensely, in the place where they had spent so much time, was odd and uncomfortable, to say the least. He had changed since they were last at Joe’s Diner. Jack was still handsome, there was no doubt about that. But it wasn’t his looks that had attracted Katie. It was his heart.

But just when she was certain that he had hardened over the years, that her friend was unrecognizable, he went and followed her home. Sweet and a little crazy, it was a total Jack thing to do.

Thankfully she had possessed enough self-control and self-respect not to invite him in. After all, the end result would have been disastrous. She probably would’ve confessed her true feelings or, worse yet, acted on them. And Jack, once again, would’ve run for the hills. She would have been left brokenhearted all over again. And she would’ve let down all the people who worked for her. All the people who were dependent upon Jack investing in The Falls.

Damn! She had half hoped that Jack really had changed. That his tough childhood had finally caught up with him and he’d lost the sweetness he had once preserved so effortlessly. It would have been understandable. After all, despite his recent success, life had given him many reasons to be bitter. He’d never known his mother, nor had he known any other relatives besides his father. And although Katie had always felt Jack’s father loved him, he was too incapacitated to function as a parent. Jack had grown up in a one-bedroom shack on the outskirts of town. Many times the house had no running water or heat. But Jack never grieved over his situation. He’d worked as long as Katie could remember, paying for his own clothes and groceries. He raised not only himself, but took care of his father, as well.

There was no self-pity, either. “There’re a lot of people who have it worse than me,” he’d said whenever she or Matt would express concern. And that may have been true. One thing was certain, though. No one in Newport Falls had it worse than Jack Reilly.

And, because of that, Jack always had to fight for respect. There were a couple of incidents in which Jack was blamed for something he didn’t do—like when the tools were stolen from the hardware store and the time someone robbed the Creeley house. But in both instances Jack was exonerated. It seemed like some people just couldn’t believe a boy who had grown up with a rotten father could be so decent and kind. But he was.

Katie remembered the spring day she, Matt and Jack were walking home from school and saw black smoke billowing out of the Pelton home. Mrs. Pelton was crying on the street, comforting her six-year-old son, Frank. “They’re still inside,” the boy was screaming. “Rosie’s still inside.”

Rosie was the family dog, a four-year-old golden retriever who had just had puppies. A normally obedient dog, Rosie had sensed danger and refused to leave her babies. Mrs. Pelton and Frank had run out of the house, narrowly escaping, but the dogs were trapped in the boy’s second-floor bedroom.

Before Katie could stop him, Jack had climbed the tree in front of the Pelton home. He jumped from the tree to the roof, just as he had done at her house many times. When he tried to open the window and found it locked, he kicked it in, shattering the glass. He pulled his T-shirt up over his mouth and climbed inside.

Both Katie and Matt had pleaded with him to stay outside with them. But when it became apparent Jack wasn’t going to listen, Matt followed him up the tree.

Suddenly, Jack appeared at the window with a puppy in his hands. One at a time he handed them to Matt, who passed them down to Katie. When all four puppies were rescued, Jack appeared with Rosie. They escaped just as the flames licked the window. By the time the fire trucks arrived, the house was destroyed.

Jack became a local hero after that. The town even gave him a special award at a picnic in his honor. But his father didn’t show. The night of the picnic Katie could see Jack looking around for him. Afterward, when she mentioned it, he had blown it off in his typical casual manner. “It’s no big deal,” he said. “I didn’t expect him to be there.” But she knew whether he expected him or not, it still hurt. “You guys were there,” he said. “That’s what counts.”

She always knew Jack would leave town as soon as he could. She wasn’t surprised when he got a full academic scholarship to Princeton. Nor was she surprised when he chose prestigious summer internships over bagging groceries in Newport Falls. Although she told herself that it was the logical thing to do, her heart still ached. She missed Jack, longed for him. And she held on to the hope that one day he would feel the same way about her.

But each year he wrote less and less. She and Matt found themselves comparing notes, trying to read between the lines in Jack’s abbreviated letters. Although he returned when her father died and stayed with her for an entire week, it was clear their relationship had run its course. When Jack graduated from college and took a position in London, Katie couldn’t hide her devastation. She knew that even though he said when he returned, things would be as they once were between them, his promise was an empty one. Their friendship was all but over.

With Jack in Europe and her father gone, Katie had relied more than ever on her old friend Matt. Everyone had assumed she and Matt were a couple long before it had occurred to Katie. She had just never seen Matt that way. But when her mother became ill and jumped on the bandwagon, as well, Katie had forced herself to see him as a potential candidate for romance.

Still, Katie held out for Jack. Then one day Matt informed her that Jack was the one who had encouraged him to ask her out in the first place. Matt told her that Jack had always known the two of them were meant for each other. That Jack had even encouraged him to marry her.

Katie had been stunned. But then she thought back to the day at the creek, and it all seemed to make sense. Jack had never loved her. If he had, he wouldn’t have left.

As Katie recalled those days so long ago, she poured herself a cup of coffee and curled up on the living-room couch. She remembered that when she had decided to marry Matt, she’d told herself she was making a wise decision. She would be with her friend, her best friend, the remainder of her life. It was the only way to assure that he wouldn’t leave her, too, that she wouldn’t suffer another heartbreak.

But, of course, she had. Marriage was no insurance against pain.

Theirs had lasted only six years. She had cut him free, just as he had wished. Not only had she given him his freedom, she had forgiven him.

She realized that she had not extended the same courtesy to Jack. As much as she tried, her heart had never let him go. She had hung on to her feelings like a sole survivor on a sinking ship. She needed to let him go, finally and forever.

She was embarrassed by her behavior the previous evening. Jack had come to Newport Falls to try to help her, yet she had returned his kindness by behaving like a spurned lover.

Katie set down her coffee. She was thankful to have another day with her old friend. She would apologize to Jack and make it up to him. Glancing at her watch, she saw it was almost eight. Jack said he had some business to take care of before heading to the office. And she knew just where to find him.

Jack walked through the arched gates of the cemetery, carrying three bouquets of red roses. The temperature had dropped sharply and the rain had turned to snow. Several inches were already on the ground. Jack glanced around, admiring the familiar landscape. The cemetery seemed to be the only place in Newport Falls that was just as he remembered. Beautiful, yet desolate.

He stepped over the withered, barren rosebushes and made his way over to where his father was buried. Jack had been here several times to pay respects, though the visits were never pleasant. It wasn’t just his father’s death that saddened him, but his life. His father had been an alcoholic for as long as Jack could remember. His life had been a graveyard of missed opportunities.

Jack’s father had never recovered from the loss of the woman he loved so dearly. He tried at first, attempting to reclaim his sanity by dropping out of college and returning to Newport Falls. But even old friends couldn’t save him from the guilt. Stalked by invisible demons, he found solace only in alcohol. Jack couldn’t remember a time when his father was employed. Nor could he remember his father ever showing any tenderness toward him. Jack had grown up fast, forced to fend not only for himself, but many times, for his father, as well. Jack had been determined to make the town proud of him, determined that his fate would be different than his father’s. He wouldn’t allow himself to be destroyed by love. But it seemed the harder he tried to escape, the more furiously fate pursued him.

When Katie had married Matt, Jack had found escape from his pain not through the bottle, but work. He went to Yale for his MBA. He was willing to work longer, harder than anyone else. And his determination paid off. In a business built on family contacts, Jack climbed his way up the ladder the old-fashioned way, rung by rung.

Jack wished he had known his father better. He wished he could talk to him, tell him that he now understood the pain. He now understood why his father shut himself off from the world. Shut himself off from his only child.

Jack placed one bouquet of red roses on his father’s grave and stood up, brushing the snow off his pants. But he wasn’t ready to leave. He walked toward the old oak tree where the Devonworths were buried.

At first he had trouble finding their graves. The snow was falling faster now, sticking to the ground in fat, white clumps. But he persevered, brushing the snow off the tombstones until he found their matching white ones. Jack had known they would not have anything elaborate, anything that drew attention to the spot. They were plain, simple people in life, and he knew that was the way they wanted to be remembered.

As Jack placed the remaining roses on their grave, he felt a rush of emotion. The Devonworths always stood behind him. No matter what was happening at home, he could always count on them for support. They had welcomed him into their home for meals and holidays, always treating him with love and respect.

He would’ve liked to repay their kindness. To promise them that he would do his best to take care of their daughter. But it was too late for promises.

He turned to leave. He had a terrible task to deal with today. On some level he had known from the moment Katie had asked him for money that his company could not invest. Yet he had convinced himself that perhaps things had changed, perhaps The Falls was not the simple paper he remembered. He’d been kidding himself, and instead of just leaving after his meetings yesterday, he had extended his visit. Why? Because of some lingering sentiment toward Katie. But he couldn’t help her. He doubted anyone could. It didn’t matter what reporters she had working for her. It didn’t matter how many awards they won or what syndicated columns Katie could pick up.

A paper in a dying town was a losing investment.

“Jack?”

At first he thought he was imagining things. But there she was, underneath the cemetery’s arched gates. “Katie,” he breathed.

She walked toward him. Snowflakes had attached to her long lashes. The ends of her red scarf, wrapped around her slender neck, blew sideways in the wind. “What are you doing here?” he asked.

“I wanted to talk to you. Away from the office.”

“But how did you know I’d be here?”

“You haven’t been back in years. What other business could you possibly have?”

He smiled. “Good work, detective.”

He glanced at the entranceway, and his smile evaporated as he recognized Katie’s bike parked outside. The thought of her riding her bike five miles in a snowstorm was like an ice pick going through his heart. He asked, “What was so important that it couldn’t wait?”

“I needed to apologize. You came back here to help me and I’ve had a chip on my shoulder ever since you arrived.”

Once again Jack thought of her parents buried behind him. Katie had lost her parents, her husband, and was about to lose the only other thing that mattered to her—her paper. She had been dealing with this all alone because he had hung her out to dry. “Don’t be ridiculous,” he said.

“I’m sorry.” She looked at him and her eyes welled with tears. Instinct took over and he wrapped his arms around her. “Hey,” he said, “it’s me, Jack. There’s no need for apologies. I’m the one who owes you an apology.”

She seemed so light, almost ethereal. He wanted to hold her and protect her from the world. Suddenly, he didn’t think he could ever let go.

But Katie seemed to feel differently. She stiffened slightly, as if uncomfortable with his touch. He dropped his arms, and she stepped back from him.

He couldn’t blame her. What kind of a friend had he been? “You have every reason to be angry with me.”

“What do you mean?”

“I should’ve come back for your mother’s funeral. I’m sorry. And I should’ve called when I heard you and Matt were getting divorced.”

“I don’t blame you,” she said. She shrugged and tucked her gloved hands in her pockets. “You were busy.”

“No,” Jack said. “That’s no excuse. It was… There were other reasons.” Selfish ones, he wanted to say. He could not forgive her for marrying Matt.

Katie glanced down at the ground. “I know it’s hard for you to come back here,” she said. “If I was you, I don’t know if I would want to come back to Newport Falls, either. I just… Well, I know your dad was very proud of you, Jack. He loved you.” Her eyes met his. “And so did…everyone else.”

“Your parents were always kind to me,” he said.

At the mention of her mother and father, she glanced toward the old oak tree. She could see the red flowers already dusted with snow. Surprised, she said, “You brought flowers?”

Jack nodded.

Still looking at her parents’ graves, she said, “I’m almost glad they’re not here to see what’s happening to the paper. It would break their hearts.”

What would break their hearts, Jack thought, was their daughter’s unhappiness. Jack took a step toward her, reaching out a gloved hand to touch her face.

This time she did not move away. Her eyes closed and her head seemed to melt into his hand. She touched his fingers, holding them to her cheek. Desire for her flooded his every muscle and vein. This is Katie, he reminded himself. She married your best friend….

She lifted her head slightly. For once, Jack ignored the voice in his head. His need for her was too overwhelming.

He crashed back through time. She was Katie, his Katie, and she was close enough to kiss. He leaned forward.

Just then, her bicycle fell, clanging against the steel gate of the cemetery. Jack jumped, like a thief caught approaching a vault.

Katie stood still, staring at him with her big brown eyes.

What in the hell was he doing? Had he lost his mind? Katie shows a little kindness and he’s ready to jump in the sack?

Because that was all it was. Wasn’t it? He wasn’t interested in anything more than a physical relationship. As he always joked, he was already married—to his job. He didn’t have the time nor the desire to fall in love.

Especially with Katie. He had already made that mistake.

Jack cleared his throat. One thing was clear. He needed to take care of business and get the hell out. Before he did something he regretted. He turned and walked over to her bike. With one hand, he lifted it to his shoulder and nodded toward his car. “We better get back to your office if I’m going to meet with those reporters.” He glanced at his watch. “I only have a little bit of time before I have to leave.” He didn’t trust himself to be around Katie Devonworth any longer than necessary.