Читать книгу Gold in the Fire - Margaret Daley - Страница 10

“Mom, let’s stop. I want to see where Joshua works. Maybe Arnold’s there.” Sean bounced up and down in the front seat of the truck, pointing to the fire station at the end of the block.

“Hon, I still need to pick up some things at the store and there’s a lot to do back at the farm.”

“Pleease, Mom.”

Pausing at the stop sign, Darcy chanced a look at her son. The eagerness in his expression shoved away all her doubts. Just because she had thought about Joshua Markham several times in the past forty-eight hours—okay, more than several times—didn’t mean she couldn’t pay him a visit, then go her merry way. “All right. But we can’t stay long. And if he’s busy, we’ll need to leave.”

“Sure.” Sean stretched his neck to get a better look at the fire station as Darcy pulled into the driveway and parked behind the building.

“Hon, he might not be here.”

“He is.”

Suspicion began to form in her mind. “How do you know?”

Sean ducked his head to the side and studied the scenery out the side window as though fascinated with the brick wall several feet from the truck.

“Sean.”

“Uh—” He stared down at his hands fidgeting in his lap. “I called him this morning.” Her son’s voice was barely audible.

“Sean, you know better than to bother a busy man.”

He lifted his head, turning his appealing look on her. “But, Mom, he told me I could play with Arnold. I wanted to find out when.”

“That doesn’t mean you have an open invitation to visit him at work or to call him anytime you want.”

“Yes, I do.” His grin split his face. “He invited me this morning. Said I was welcome to come by anytime they were there.”

“Only after you called.” Darcy gripped the steering wheel and thought about backing out and escaping before anyone saw them. Her dream about the fire last night was filled with the image of the smoke and fog parting and Joshua walking toward her. Everything had dimmed except the man in the fire gear striding toward her with exhaustion evident in every line of his handsome face. Confidence had marked his stance as he’d come to a stop in front of her. His blue eyes had gleamed in the early morning light, drawing her toward him—dangerously close.

The flashback to the previous dream made beads of perspiration pop out on her upper lip. Darcy brushed them away. What am I doing? I have no business thinking about Joshua Markham in any terms other than as a firefighter and an acquaintance. She started to switch on the engine and leave before anyone knew they were there. She would find some excuse to give her son.

Too late. Joshua waved from the door and strode toward them.

“See. He’s expecting us.”

Darcy wanted to hide. She felt the heat suffuse her cheeks as the man walked to the truck, a smile of greeting on his face. The first thing she thought about was the dusty jeans and the old worn shirt she wore. Why hadn’t she changed before coming into town? Why did she care? Her record with men was no good. She just had to think about her husband and father to confirm that.

Joshua stopped on her side of the truck, his face framed in her window, only a few inches from her. She rolled down the window and forced a smile to her lips. “Is this a bad time to come?” Please let it be, she silently added, even as she responded to his heart-melting grin, her pulse accelerating.

“It’s been quiet around here.”

“That’s good” was all she could think to say with the man dominating her space, his musky scent surrounding her.

“Yeah, we feel the same way.”

“Where’s Arnold?” Sean asked, unbuckling his seat belt.

“He’s in the station. Come on in and meet the rest of the guys.”

Sean hopped from the truck before Darcy could say anything. Joshua opened her door, and she slid out, glad to see her legs would support her weight. Her son ran ahead while she and Joshua walked at a leisurely pace toward the building.

“I checked with my friend about a puppy for Sean. It’s fine with him. In fact, he can have the pick of the litter.”

“How much are the puppies?”

“Free. He just wants to give the puppies good homes.”

Darcy halted, causing Joshua to do the same. “What aren’t you telling me?”

He stuffed his hands into his pockets. “I told him I didn’t want the pick of the litter.”

“So Sean gets it instead. I can pay for a puppy. I know teachers don’t get rich teaching, but—”

“I wanted to do this for Sean.”

“Why?”

“I can remember my first dog when I was growing up. Lady was so special to me. I want Sean to experience that.”

“But—”

Joshua held up his hand to stop her protest. “If you saw my house and the animals I have, you wouldn’t say anything. I don’t need to take on another pet.”

“How many do you have?”

“Three dogs besides Arnold, two cats, a rabbit and an aquarium full of fish.”

“Don’t tell Sean. He’ll be begging to come over.”

“I’ve never bought one of those animals. Either people give them to me because they don’t want them anymore or they are left in my yard.”

He was a large, muscular man in a dangerous profession, but underneath everything he was a softie, taking in strays. There had been times when married to Clay that she’d felt like a stray, wandering from city to city looking for a permanent home. She was glad now that she and Sean had one in Panama City. This spring had been the beginning of their second year there.

Sean stood at the door to the fire station, waiting for them. He hopped from one foot to the other. “Come on, Mom,” he finally shouted when he couldn’t contain his impatience any longer.

“Do you want me to tell him about the puppy now?” Joshua said in a low voice.

“You might wait until later or he’ll want you to leave your job and show him the puppy.”

“I’m off on Sunday. How about after church? We can leave after the eleven o’clock service, pick up something to eat for lunch, then go to Ned’s. Sean can pick out the puppy he wants.”

Darcy didn’t say anything for a few seconds. She’d made plans to start going to church again with Lizzy. She’d gotten out of the habit when married to Clay. They had moved so often it had become difficult to find a place to worship where she was comfortable—at least, that was the excuse she’d given herself over the years.

“I’m sorry. I’m assuming you’ll be going to church while you’re home. I can meet you at Ned’s place if you want.”

“No. Lizzy mentioned something to me the other day.”

“You can come with Lizzy, and then I can bring you and Sean home later. I should have the results back from the lab by then and I promised your father a report on what I found.”

Sean danced around. “Mom! I’ve got to go.”

Joshua chuckled. “I guess we’d better get inside.”

“It was that pop he drank on the way into town.”

Joshua reached around Sean and pulled the door open. “The rest room is down the hall on the left.”

Her son shot down the corridor and disappeared into the bathroom. They waited by the entrance until he came out into the hall. He headed straight for them with determination on his face.

“Where’s Arnold?”

“Probably watching TV.”

“He watches TV?”

“Yep, I’m afraid so. Nasty habit he’s gotten into. The last time I saw him he was in the living area in front of the set.” Joshua gestured to the right.

Sean darted ahead of them into a large room with several couches and chair. A table that sat twelve was off to one side in a spacious kitchen of gleaming stainless steel. Arnold was where Joshua had left him, perched before the big-screen television set, his head resting on his front paws.

“He really does watch TV,” Darcy said in astonishment.

While Sean kneeled next to the black Lab, Joshua chuckled. “Like I said, a really nasty habit he developed. He likes the noise, and when a dog appears he begins to bark, which doesn’t always sit well with the other guys who are trying to watch the show.”

“What does he do when a cat appears?” Darcy watched her son rub the length of Arnold’s back, then bury his face in his fur.

The dog rolled over, his tail wagging.

“He loves cats. His best buddy is Ringo, a white male cat that found me about two years ago and adopted us. When we’re at home, they are usually inseparable.”

“Hasn’t Arnold heard a cat is a dog’s enemy?”

“Apparently not.”

An older man came into the room, Joshua introduced him to Darcy and Sean as his captain. When he left, another man, younger, entered and waved at Darcy.

“Joshua said something about you and your son coming to visit this morning.” Glen hugged her. “I haven’t seen you since right after high school graduation.”

“We went to school together since kindergarten,” Darcy said to Joshua, then turned back to Glen. “I heard you married your high school sweetheart.”

“Nancy and I will have been married ten years come this July. How’s your father doing? I’m sorry about the fire at the farm.”

“He’s the same. Thinks he can single-handedly do everything around the farm.”

“That sounds like Shamus. Well, it’s my turn to make lunch so I’d better get going before I have seven guys breathing down my neck.” Glen made his way into the kitchen area and opened the refrigerator.

“Sean, would you like to go on a tour of the station?” Joshua asked.

Her son glanced up. “Can Arnold come too?”

“Sure, if you can get him to move from the TV set.”

Sean leaped to his feet and patted his leg. “Come on, Arnold.”

The black Lab lumbered to his feet and nudged Sean’s hand so he would continue rubbing him behind the ear.

“I think your son has a gift with animals.”

Darcy thought of all the times Sean had wanted a pet and Clay had refused to let him. She thought of how her son had taken to the farm as though he’d grown up there, doing chores, helping take care of the horses and other animals. Her throat closed. She should have brought Sean to the farm sooner. For her son’s sake, she should have put her past with her father behind her. It had taken a crisis with her father to get her back home. But the minute she had stepped on Shamrock land, all her insecurities, doubts and guilt had flooded her, as though she’d never left ten years ago.

“Wait up, Darcy.”

Darcy turned to see her best friend from high school hurrying toward her from the back of the church. For a few seconds she lost Jesse Bradshaw in the crowd, which was not unusual since her friend was only five feet tall. Darcy stepped to the side to allow the other parishioners to pass while she waited.

“I should berate you, Darcy O’Brien, for not coming by to see me, but I know you’ve had your hands full with your father’s illness and the fire. I’m sorry.” Jesse Bradshaw hugged Darcy. “I’m missed you.” She pulled back to get a good look at Darcy. “You haven’t changed a bit.”

Darcy laughed. “I’ve missed you, Jesse, and you have changed.” Her friend had lost twenty or so pounds, and her long brown hair was now short and feathered about her pixie-like features. The only thing the same was her green eyes—clear and sparkling with humor. Darcy turned to the side. “This is my son, Sean.”

Shaking Sean’s hand, Jesse said, “My son, Nate, is around here somewhere. You two will have to get together. Darcy, I’ll call you this week. Let’s get together for lunch. I want to know everything that’s happened to you in the last ten years. E-mails just don’t tell me what’s really going on with you.” Jesse fell into line with them to speak with the reverend.

“There’s Joshua. He’s waiting for us by his truck. Come on, Mom.” Sean tugged on her arm.

“Joshua Markham?” Jesse asked, one brow quirked.

“Yes, he’s helping Sean get a puppy.” Darcy leaned toward her friend. “And that is all, so don’t get any ideas.”

Jesse held up her hand. “Who, me? Never.”

Moving forward in the line, Darcy smiled at Reverend Collins and shook his hand. “I enjoyed your sermon.” Out of the corner of her eye she could see her son dancing about.

“It’s good to see you back home, Darcy. Don’t be a stranger.”

Darcy pulled Sean to her side. “And this eager young man is my son, Sean.”

The reverend held out his hand. “I hope we’ll get to see more of you this summer.”

Sean contained his enthusiasm long enough to straighten and shake the man’s hand. “Joshua introduced me to a couple of the boys in his Sunday school class. One lives down the road from Grandpa.”

“That must be Brad Anderson.”

“Yep.” Sean glanced up at Darcy. “Can we go now? I don’t want to be late.”

After saying her goodbyes to Reverend Collins and Jesse, Darcy allowed her son to drag her toward Joshua. As they approached, Darcy’s heart increased its beat, aware that her friend was probably watching every move she made. She didn’t dare look back at Jesse and encourage her in any way.

Darcy turned her full focus on the man before her. The sight of Joshua in black slacks with a sky-blue short-sleeved shirt and a striped tie was just as compelling as the image of him in his fire gear or navy-blue firefighter’s uniform. The bright sun beamed down on her, but that wasn’t the reason she perspired more than usual. The warm greeting in Joshua’s eyes did strange things to her. Her stomach flip-flopped; her pulse quickened.

“Are you ready, Sean?” Joshua asked, swinging open the passenger door of his red truck.

“Yes.”

“I thought we would grab something to eat, then go to Ned’s.”

The wide grin on her son’s face fell.

“Or, we could go to Ned’s first, then eat,” Joshua amended when he saw Sean’s crestfallen expression.

“Yes!” Sean hopped up into the cab.

“I can’t believe he’s turning down a meal. That just goes to show you how important this puppy is to Sean.” Darcy followed her son into the truck, relieved she wasn’t pressed up against Joshua.

He shut the door and leaned forward, his head framed in the open window. “You understand, Sean, you won’t be able to take the puppy home for a few more weeks.”

“Can I visit my puppy?”

“I don’t think Ned will mind—if it’s okay with your mother.”

Sean sent her a beseeching look.

“We’ll work something out,” she said.

Her son breathed a deep sigh of relief while Joshua rounded the front of the truck and slid behind the steering wheel.

“Actually, Ned lives about halfway to your farm on Old State Road, not too far from Sweetwater Lake.”

“Maybe I could walk to his place.”

“No way, young man,” said Darcy. “When you get your chores done, I’ll drive you. No walking along that highway.”

“But, Mom—”

Joshua backed out of the parking space. “I’ve had a few near misses out on Old State Road. Some people think its straightaway is an invitation to race. Not a safe place to be.”

Again Sean sighed, but he remained quiet.

In a short time Darcy had begun to notice the influence Joshua had over her son. For a boy hungry for male attention, Joshua was a wonderful role model. But what was going to happen when they returned to Panama City in August? She hated disappointing her son. For years he had tried to get his father interested in what he was doing, but Clay had hardly ever been around. When they’d been in the same room, it had been as though they were strangers.

As they drove toward Ned’s, her son thankfully kept up a running commentary about the Sunday school class he’d joined that day, the one Joshua taught. Sean described each of the boys he’d met and gave a rundown on their likes and dislikes. She was glad he had been readily accepted by his peers, especially Brad Anderson and Nate Bradshaw, Jesse’s son. Darcy relaxed and listened to Sean and Joshua.

Fifteen minutes later Joshua drove through an opened gate and down a gravel road that ended in front of a one-story, white, wooden house with an old brown barn nearby. “He’s probably in the barn.”

“Does he raise horses like Grandpa?” Sean exited the truck on Joshua’s side.

That gave Darcy a chance to take her time and allow the two guys to go ahead of her. She heard Joshua say, “No, he takes in strays like I do. He’s a firefighter at the station where I work. He doesn’t have a lot of land, just a few acres. But I must say, he has more room than I do. I’m running out of places to put my animals.”

Dressed in a plaid short-sleeved shirt, a man who appeared to be in his forties came out of the barn. He brushed some dust from his jeans and adjusted his navy-blue ball cap. “Right on time. I just got through feeding the animals.”

Sean raced forward. “Where are the puppies?”

Ned placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder and led him into the barn. Joshua waited for her by the entrance.

“I think your son is excited.”

“A small understatement.”

“I’m glad he enjoyed this morning. How did you like the adult class?”

“Lizzy and Jesse took me under their wing. I didn’t realize there were so many new people since I last attended.”

“When was that?”

“Over ten years ago.”

“You never had time to come with Lizzy when you visited?”

Darcy stepped into the coolness of the barn, the familiar scents of leather, dirt and hay drifting to her. “This is the first time I’ve been home since I got married.”

When Joshua didn’t say anything for several heartbeats, Darcy felt compelled to add, “We were out of the country for half that time.”

“You don’t owe me an explanation.”

“I know, but I didn’t realize it was that long until I came home. Lizzy was quick to point that out to me.”

“Not your father?”

Sean’s laughter floated to her. She looked toward her son in the middle of a pen with six puppies crawling all over him. “No, my relationship with my father has been strained for years.” She wasn’t sure why she told Joshua that, but for some reason it felt right to confide in him, which surprised her, but he was easy to talk to and she suspected he didn’t judge a person.

“You returned home when he needed you the most.”

She paused a few yards from Sean so he wouldn’t hear her reply. “I’m not sure my father needs me right now. He is trying to continue doing everything himself even though he is supposed to be resting and learning to take life a little easier.”

“Like the fire?”

“I finally convinced him to let me take care of stabling the mares. But I don’t think he rested much. He had all the book work done when I returned to the office later. But I guess sitting at a desk is better than running around the farm.”

“Sometimes it’s hard for a person to accept help or to even ask for it.”

“That definitely describes my father.”

“My father could be stubborn at times, but…” His voice faded into silence as he glanced away.

“But what?”

“I’d trade anything to have those times back. I miss our…lively discussions.”

“It sounds like you had a good relationship with your father.”

His intense gaze swung back to her. “It wasn’t perfect, but yes, we had a good relationship.”

How could she tell Joshua that she would give anything to have a good relationship with her father? How could she tell him that her father had been disappointed she wasn’t a male and that she was an only child? She would never forget the time she’d overheard her parents arguing and her mother shouting at her father that she was glad they hadn’t had any more children. He didn’t deserve to have the son he’d always wanted, that he would have to settle for passing his farm on to a daughter. She’d run from the house and hidden in the loft of the barn, crying until there were no tears left inside. Her mother’s words had explained a lot to her—her father’s demands to be perfect, her father’s coldness and distance. But still, it hurt to this day.

Joshua’s expression softened. Darcy closed her eyes, afraid the anguish she experienced every time she remembered that day was evident in them. His finger brushed across her cheek.

“You’re crying.” He captured her hand and laced his fingers through hers. “Some say I’m a good listener.”

Through a sheen she viewed the tenderness in his expression and wanted to go into the comfort she knew she would find in his arms. With a supreme effort she held herself back, because that wasn’t her. She’d already told Joshua more than she shared with others. She attempted a smile that wavered about the corners of her mouth, then vanished.

“I think the trauma of the fire is finally catching up with me.”

His gaze ensnared hers as though he were delving into her mind to read her deepest thoughts, those she kept hidden from the world.

“I know we don’t know each other well,” he said, “but if I—”

“Mom! Joshua! Aren’t you coming?”

Darcy blinked, tugged her hand from Joshua’s and started for her son. Joshua’s gaze bore into her back and her steps quickened. She had been so close to telling him about her childhood—and that frightened her. She hadn’t even told her husband how hard it had been growing up with warring parents and a mother who— She wouldn’t think about the past. Hadn’t she learned that reliving it only brought her pain?

This time when she smiled, it stayed in place. She’d become good at putting up a front for her son’s sake. She entered the pen and kneeled next to Sean. “Have you decided on one yet?”

“I can’t decide between this one—” he held up a male black Lab “—or this one.” Scooping up the puppy into his lap, he showed her a smaller female with a lighter mark on its brow. “I think she’s the runt. Which one do you like the most?”

“Son, it’s your choice.”

“Yeah, but what if I choose wrong?”

That innocent question brought a lump to her throat. She’d made some wrong choices that she wished she could do over, but life wasn’t like that. She swallowed and replied, “Making mistakes is how we learn, but I don’t think you can go wrong picking between these two adorable puppies.”

The female nudged Sean’s hand while the male licked him, then began gnawing on his finger. “Joshua, what do you think?”

Joshua chuckled. “I agree with your mother. It’s your call.”

Her son then turned his attention to Ned, who shook his head and said, “No, partner, you’re on your own.”

Sean’s face brightened. “Mom, how about taking both? I have some money saved. I could buy the other one.”

“I think, Sweetie, for your first pet we should stick to having only one.” Darcy straightened, aware of Joshua standing right behind her. She always seemed to know where he was in relation to her. That shook her. “You don’t have to make up your mind right this minute.”

“No, why don’t you play with them for a while? I have some iced tea up at the house. We’ll be sitting on the porch when you’re ready.” Ned headed out of the barn.

Darcy backed away. She watched her son bury his face in the fur of first the female, then the male. She thought about the small yard they had in Panama City and knew one big dog was all they could handle.

“It’s tough making that kind of decision,” Joshua murmured as they walked from the barn.

“If the dogs were going to be smaller, we might be able to have two.” She peered back once more to see Sean lying on the ground with both puppies on his chest. He was talking to them.