Читать книгу A Baby For The Rancher - Margaret Daley - Страница 11
ОглавлениеAs she drove away, Ben kept his back to the house. He imagined his grandmother was still spying on him even though Lucy had left. Grandma Mamie had fretted over him ever since he’d come home from the hospital. If he had his hat that he liked to wear while he was working in the sun, he’d go on and walk to the barn to see Zed, who had stepped up into the foreman position when he was injured. But his Stetson was still on the peg in the hallway, which meant he would probably have to answer questions about Lucy’s visit. Who was he kidding? Even if he didn’t get his hat, his grandmother would interrogate him about Lucy’s visit. He might as well get it over with.
As he strolled toward the front porch, he surveyed the pastures near the house. Several contained the horses they used on the ranch while one held their prized bull. They’d brought most of the cattle closer since the thefts started, but the barn and bunkhouse, where some of the cowhands lived, partially blocked the view.
As he entered his home, he spied Mamie in the doorway to the living room, holding Cody. Watching his son wiggle in his grandmother’s embrace, Ben fought to suppress the laugh. Cody was going to be a handful. Already in the short time his son had lived with him, he was getting into everything he could reach when he crawled and used the furniture to stand up.
“I declare, this boy reminds me of you more each day. He doesn’t like to stay still.” Mamie thrust Cody into Ben’s arms. “We’re gonna be in serious trouble when he starts walking.”
Ben swung him around, his laughter mingling with Cody’s. “But he’s got your stubbornness, Grandma.”
She grinned. “That’s true.”
Ben peeked into the living room. “Where’s Chloe?”
“She went to talk to Grady out back. I think they’re trying to decide when to get married now that you’re okay.”
Ben kissed Cody’s cheek, then held him against his chest, but the eight-month-old started wiggling again. “Okay, little man. You can get down until you get into trouble.”
“Are you going to meet with Zed?”
Ben kept an eye on Cody as he crawled into the living room, heading straight for the coffee table and the few toys on the floor nearby. “Yes. With Cody living with us, I’ve decided to keep Zed in the position of foreman. He’s been here the longest and has a lot of experience.”
“I like that. He started out when your dad first ran the ranch.”
The mention of his father made Ben clamp his teeth together before he said something he’d regret. His father had died a few years ago, but Ben could still hear the disapproval in his voice. Reuben Stillwater had been by the book, disciplined and serious like Grady, whereas Ben had taken after his mother. She’d divorced Dad when Ben was fifteen, and he’d become the focus of his father’s anger. They’d always butted heads, but it had become worse, especially when she’d remarried after Ben turned seventeen. But while Grady had left the ranch to serve his country, Ben had stuck it out, trying to please his dad but never quite succeeding.
“He’d be proud of you, Ben. You’ve run this ranch well and increased the number of cattle we have, as well as the horses you’re training for the rodeo. You even took his place on the Lone Star Cowboy League. Look at the intern program. That was all you.”
“But whatever I did was never enough for him. At least I know how not to be a father.”
“Remember, kids need boundaries, too.”
“But love would have helped.” And in the end his mother had left not only his father but him. She had been too busy having fun with her new husband until finally a skiing accident in the Alps had taken her life.
Grandma Mamie frowned, the wrinkles in her face deepening. “He loved you in his own way. He just wasn’t a demonstrative man.”
He wouldn’t make that mistake with his son. Cody would know Ben loved him. “I need to get to the barn.” Ben peered around his grandmother to make sure Cody was still playing with his toys. Then he clasped Grandma’s arms and kissed her on the cheek. “But I’m glad I always had you, especially after Mom left.” That day would always be carved with regret in his mind.
“I’m not surprised she left.” A touch of bitterness laced Mamie’s voice.
“She hated ranch life. She was happier traveling and having fun with no worries.” And forgetting about her two sons.
“That’s true. When she married your dad, she never thought she would be stuck here all the time. Do you ever want to travel and see the world?”
Ben stepped to the peg and plucked off his cowboy hat. After setting it on his head, he turned toward his grandmother. “No, I love the ranch.”
“It seems to me you have more of your dad in you than you realize, and Grady has more of his mother in him. He’s the one who traveled and saw the world.”
Ben needed this conversation to end. He strode to Cody, picked him up and gave him a hug. His heart swelled as he inhaled his son’s baby scent and heard his giggles. Then he passed Cody to Mamie and headed for the front door.
“Have you read the letter yet?”
“No.”
“Why not? Aren’t you curious what Cody’s mother had to say?”
“We don’t know that for sure.” Alana Peterson. He rolled the name of the woman in the wreck—Cody’s mother—around in his mind.
“Then, why else did she write a letter addressed to you and have all those baby items in her car? Read the letter and find out.”
He opened the door and glanced back at Grandma holding a content Cody. “I’m afraid to read it.”
“You aren’t afraid of anything. You’ll try everything at least once.”
“Not anymore. I’m a father now.” He would not abandon his son like his mother had, or for that matter like his father, who had been there for him physically, but not emotionally. “I know he has you and Grady, but I want Cody and me to have a strong relationship. I want him to know I love him.”
“Your dad loved you.”
“He had a funny way of showing it. I’m not the same man I was the day I found Cody on our doorstep.” And he did have fears, even if he didn’t let on to others. He didn’t want to end up like his father, bitter and alone, or like his mother, rootless and aimless. His examples of being a parent weren’t the best, and he prayed he didn’t end up like one of them.
Ben left the house and headed for the barn, his hand slipping into his pocket where the letter was. Mamie was right. He couldn’t keep putting off reading what Alana had to tell him. He made a detour toward the corral near the barn and watched a stallion prancing around, showing off to the mares in the field nearby.
He leaned back against the railing and slowly removed the letter. He’d made a lot of mistakes in the past, and this short fling with Alana was one of them. He couldn’t continue casually dating, never settling down. His son needed a mother, stability.
He opened the single sheet and read, his teeth grinding together. With a tight throat, Ben stared at Alana’s words written in a neat handwriting.
“I tried being a mother. I just wasn’t any good at it. I just want to have fun. You should understand that and not condemn me. I did some checking. I know your grandmother will help you. I have no one.”
Those sentences jumped out at Ben. How about me? I would have helped if you’d have let me know about Cody.
Ben crushed the paper into a ball, then stuffed it into his front pocket of his jeans. He remembered how he’d been before the accident, and he could see why Alana would say that. He’d always gone into a relationship with a woman knowing it was only temporary and casual. He didn’t want to be responsible for another person’s feelings. He’d already disappointed his father after trying for years to be the son he wanted. His mother, the one parent who he’d thought loved him unconditionally and accepted him for who he was, had left him, rarely contacting him because she was too busy building a new life with a new husband. And now she was dead and he had no chance of having a relationship with her.
He looked at the house, where his son was. He didn’t deserve him, but maybe he could learn to be a good father, give him what he hadn’t had with his own dad.
But not by living the way he had before. That was no life for a child. He needed at the very least a good nanny, or maybe it was time for him to get serious and settle down. Maybe in the future even marry. He had to change. He couldn’t keep going down the same road. It led nowhere.
Where do I start? He felt lost and out of his depth. Then he remembered one of Grandma Mamie’s favorite Bible stories about the prodigal son who finally came home, broken and humble. His father had greeted him with love and celebrated his return. Maybe it wasn’t too late for him to reconnect with the Lord.
* * *
Lucy stopped by her small white house not far from Main Street to change from her uniform into more appropriate clothes to go riding with Ben this morning. She must be getting desperate to ask him if she could hang out at the barn when Maddy was working. But in her gut, she knew the girl and Betsy were somehow connected to the thieves. She needed results, and soon.
As a police officer in San Antonio for a few years before returning to Little Horn, she’d been a valuable member of several important cases. She wasn’t alone in her frustration. The members of the Rustling Investigation Team of the Lone Star Cowboy League were aggravated, too. Their speculations of who the thieves might be weren’t enough without hard evidence. In the past few months there had been enough accusations flung at certain people without any proof. That had divided her hometown. She didn’t want to see that anymore. She needed hard evidence before arresting anyone, especially teenagers.
After changing into jeans, boots and a blue T-shirt, she headed to her personal car, put her gun in the glove compartment and drove to the Stillwater Ranch, bordered on one side by Carson Thorn’s huge spread. She and Carson, as the president of the Lone Star Cowboy League, had been working closely to find the Robin Hoods. She always appreciated his counsel and was glad he finally was engaged to his high school girlfriend, Ruby.
Lucy parked next to the barn where other vehicles were, drew in a composing breath and climbed from her eight-year-old Mustang, purchased the first year she’d been a police officer in San Antonio. She’d always wanted to follow in her father’s footsteps. She’d thought the action in a big city would prepare her for anything in the county when her dad retired from being the sheriff. But her hometown and rural county were very different from San Antonio.
As she walked into the long barn through the double doors off the yard, two female voices came from one of the stalls on the right. Lucy spied a cowhand, not Ben, at the other end. She made her way to the girls cleaning out a stall.
Lucy stopped in the entrance, the scent of manure and hay overpowering. “Hi, Maddy. Christie. Do you know where Ben is?”
Maddy smiled. “He went up to the house but said to tell you he’d be right back.” The two teenagers exchanged looks before Maddy added, “He mentioned y’all were going riding.”
From the gleam in their eyes, Lucy wondered if Ben had implied something more about her presence here today. “Yeah, it’s been a while since I’ve ridden. I don’t want to get rusty.”
“I can’t see you forgetting how to ride. Remember you used to come out here when your dad visited mine, and we usually ended up riding.”
Ben’s deep baritone voice shivered up Lucy’s spine. She glanced over her shoulder as he approached her. His cowboy hat, pulled down low, shadowed his dark brown eyes, but she knew there was a twinkle in them from the grin on his face and two dimples in his cheeks. He used to love to tease her when they were in high school. But then he’d flirted with all the girls. He would date, then move on, nothing long-term.
He paused right behind her—too close for her peace of mind. She held her ground. He’d reminded her that at one time they’d been friends, and he was giving her a chance to be here at the ranch and hopefully help her to get to know Maddy better.
Lucy slid her hand into her front pocket. “I remember, especially that time the bull got loose and nearly trampled me.”
“I saved you.”
“But you didn’t latch the gate properly, and that’s why the bull got out in the first place.”
“It must be your dazzling smile that made me forget to check the handle was secured.”
Lucy balled her hand in her pocket and forced a sweet smile. “I hope you’ve replaced that latch by now.” The bull could be dangerous, but she decided Ben was more, especially when he grinned and focused his full attention on her.
“Right after you left. Is that why you never came back to ride?”
“It was traumatic, but I was leaving for college in San Antonio the next week and didn’t have time.”
“If it’ll make you feel better, we don’t have that bull anymore. But Fernando is probably twice as mean, so stay clear of him.”
Behind her, whispers drifted to her, then one of the girls giggled. She was not going to blush. Instead, she jammed her other hand into her jeans pocket and curled it into a fist. “Thanks for the warning.”
“Our horses are saddled and out the back door. I need to see Zed for a few minutes, then we’ll leave. Maddy and Christie, why don’t you show Miss Benson around since it’s been a while. We’ve expanded the barn since you were a teenager.”
Lucy wanted to hug Ben and stomp on his foot. He could be so aggravating and accommodating at the same time. He was giving her time to establish a rapport with Maddy. “That would be nice.”
The tour was brief, consisting of a walk-through of the barn with a hand wave toward the tack room near the front entrance and Zed’s office closer to the back one. Most of the horses were in their corrals. When Lucy stepped outside with Maddy and Christie, she noticed two horses saddled and tied to the fence. Maddy pointed out the various paddocks and pastures nearby besides explaining which animals were usually in them.
“Do you all enjoy working here?” Lucy asked, hoping the girls would forget she was the sheriff in time. “I once thought I might train horses, but then I was only ten and soon decided I wanted to be a nurse until I realized I would have to give people shots. I hated shots. I couldn’t see myself doing that.” It hadn’t taken her long to realize she’d really wanted to follow in her father’s footsteps, and now she was.
“I want to train horses, and Saul has been working with me and showing me what he does as a trainer since Ben’s accident. Before that, Ben was training me.” The wind caught Maddy’s ponytail and it danced about her head.
Christie shrugged. “I get school credit working here. Dad wanted me to learn about ranching, so I signed up for the work program. Since I can’t participate in Future Ranchers at our own place, this is a good choice. Ben is a great boss.”
“Yeah, we hated what happened to him.” Maddy glanced behind her. “I’ve fallen off a horse, but thankfully I didn’t hit my head on a rock like he did.”
“Me, too. I broke my arm when I was twelve,” Christie said.
“Isn’t there a third girl who works here?” Lucy asked as Ben walked toward her.
Maddy brushed stray strands of her hair, caught in the wind, from her face. “Lynne is out working with Emilio and Josh mending fences.”
Ben joined them. “After lunch, y’all will go out there with Lynne. Thanks for showing Lucy around.”
The mention of lunch made Lucy’s stomach rumble. She should have eaten her usual big breakfast, but she’d spent the morning catching up on paperwork, which was still not finished, and only managed to eat a hard-boiled egg and drink two cups of coffee.
When the teens strolled toward the barn, Ben swept his arm toward the two horses tied to a fence railing. “Ready?”
Something in his voice, a catch on that one word, caused her to look at him more carefully. “Are you all right?”
“I just realized this is the first time I’ve been able to ride since my accident. It’s not as if I haven’t been thrown from a horse before. I rode broncos in the rodeo, and I came close to really being injured several times.”
His confession took her by surprise. He’d never shown her a vulnerable side before. In fact, she’d thought he’d never been bothered by much. “I once was pinned down in a shoot-out in San Antonio. I didn’t think I was going to get out of there. I was out of ammo, and all I could do was pray to God.”
“He answered your prayer?”
“Yes. It wasn’t a minute later before the gang realized I didn’t have any more bullets, but backup arrived.”
“I think what’s different about this time is that I have a son now to think about. With his mother dead, I’m his family.”
“How’s Cody? Chloe has kept me informed about him.”
A grin lit his face, forming those two dynamite dimples in his cheeks and putting a gleam in his dark eyes. “Into everything. I walked early. I would be surprised if he doesn’t in the next month or so.”
Ben had a great smile, and when it was coupled with his charm, she could see why women were attracted to him. “And you were probably climbing everywhere.”
Ben chuckled. “Yep. When I was eighteen months, my mom once found me on top of her tall dresser. I used the drawers as steps.”
The familiar sound of his laugh warmed Lucy. When she’d seen him in the hospital the first time, she’d wondered if she would ever hear that again. “Do you remember doing it?”
“Nah. Mamie has told me a couple of times this week when warning me about Cody.” He started toward the smaller horse. “I’ll give you a leg up.”
Lucy lifted her left foot into his connected hands, getting a whiff of his lime-scented aftershave as he helped her mount. Her heartbeat kicked up a notch, only because she hadn’t gone riding in a while. It had nothing to do with the man accompanying her. They were just friends.
When Ben sat on his black stallion, he paused and looked around.
Beneath the shadow of his hat, Lucy glimpsed a neutral expression. She couldn’t read anything in it, which was unusual for Ben. “Are you okay?”
Then he grinned. “Just deciding where to ride. I thought about heading toward Carson’s ranch, but Thunder was the horse that threw me, so going that way might not be the best choice for my first time in the saddle in months.”
“How did your accident happen?”
“I was preoccupied about finding Cody at the ranch and didn’t see the snake until it was too late. Unfortunately Thunder saw it and reacted. I’m just glad the rattler didn’t bite me when I was on the ground unconscious.”
“God was looking out for you.”
“You think? Lately I’ve been wondering if the Lord was giving me a wake-up call. I know I attended church with the family, but to be honest, I’ve never been that serious. I needed to be shaken up. I have a child now.” He pulled his rein to the right and started toward the dirt road in front of the barn.
“You’re serious about changing?” Lucy had known Ben forever and only saw him as the charming ladies’ man that he’d been for the past fifteen years.
“I’m working on it. When I woke up in the hospital, I knew that I had been given a second chance, and this time I don’t want to blow it.”
Lucy had seen others say they were going to change, but they never did. It wasn’t an easy thing to do. Habits were hard to break—and human nature even harder.
“Chloe told me riding would be good for me. Help me get stronger. I feel like a weakling and, you know,” he added, swinging his attention to Lucy, “we macho men don’t like to be weak.” Then he winked at her.
Laughter bubbled to the surface. “You’re incorrigible.”
The dimples deepened as he touched his brim and nodded once. “I aim to please. I’m feeling cautious today. Let’s go toward Tyler’s ranch.”
She rode next to Ben along the road passing by the older original barn. He stopped in front of it. “I’m thinking of hosting a young cowboy/cowgirl camp here this summer and using this barn. It’s still in good shape but a distance from the house, so not used as much.”
“Didn’t your granddaddy move everything to the new location?”
“Yeah. Grandma Mamie still comes once a month to weed the garden she had at the old house. Zed, who lives here, is thrilled she does. As tough as he tries to be, he loves the flowers that bloom in the garden. He told me once coming home after a long day and seeing those bright colors always lifted his spirits.”
“Maybe Mamie would come over and plant a garden like that for me. Of course, she’d probably have to take care of it. I barely have time for housework, let alone yard work.”
“Zed and you aren’t the only ones who love bright colors. Cody almost got hold of the flowers in a vase on an end table. Thankfully I managed to grab him in time.” Ben urged his horse to move forward.
Lucy fell in beside Ben on the road. “Your son is named after your grandfather. That couldn’t be a coincidence. Are you Cody’s father? Is that what the letter I gave Grady from Alana was about?”
All evidence of a smile disappeared. “Yes.”
“I’m sorry Cody’s mother died in the car accident. Was she coming back for him?”
Ben’s mouth turned down, his posture ramrod straight. “No, she didn’t want Cody. I’m just glad she left him at our ranch and not somewhere else.”
Tension poured off Ben for a long moment, and Lucy wished she hadn’t brought up the subject of Cody’s mother. She knew that Ben’s mother had walked away from her marriage and sons. She rarely had come to see them before she died. Was Ben thinking about the correlation?
She wanted to change the subject. Never before had she and Ben had deep conversations, and all of sudden they were talking about the past. “How far along are you with plans for the camp?”
“Before my accident, I’d been talking with Carson about it. I wanted the Lone Star Cowboy League to sponsor the camp as an outreach project. Last week before I came home, I told him I was still interested in doing it. We’ll be getting together about it soon, since the camp could start in June, if we have the time to do it that fast. There will be a lot to do in three months. It’ll be something my son will enjoy when he gets older.”
She slanted a look at Ben as he headed across a field behind the old barn. She’d never thought of Ben as father material. This side of him was interesting, but would it last? Like a hummingbird, he’d flit from one flower to the next, never staying long.
