Читать книгу Bitter Memories - Маргарет Майо - Страница 6

TANYA could not believe her bad luck. The reason she had consistently put off visiting her sister in Tenerife was because she was afraid of bumping into Alejandro. And now, almost before she had set foot on foreign soil, he was here at the airport, instantly recognisable, instantly causing her heart to quicken its beats, instantly causing confusion in her mind.

He was as devastatingly handsome as she remembered, taller than most of his compatriots, his shiny black hair cut well above the collarline, his eyes—— those soul-searching brown eyes which had frequently reduced her to jelly——enviably large and thickly fringed, his lips full and sensual. She would have lied had she said she did not feel anything, but her pain over the way they had parted, and the subsequent news that had filtered through to her that he was married, was a much more dominant emotion.

‘Tanya! Tanya! Over here.’

Her sister’s excited voice reached Tanya above the noise and general confusion of exiting passengers. She was not the only one to hear it. Alejandro turned his head and looked in Charlene’s direction, and then from her to Tanya. It all happened in a split second; their eyes met and she saw the sudden narrowing in his before his attention was taken up by the beautiful woman who threw herself into his arms, a woman with jet-black hair piled on top of her head, perfectly applied make-up, elegantly dressed. Tanya’s bitterness deepened. She had wondered what his wife looked like. Now she knew. And she would have given any-thing to be able to turn right round and catch the same plane back to England.

By this time Charlene had pushed her way to Tanya’s side and was welcoming her sister enthusiastically. When Tanya next looked in Alejandro’s direction he had gone. Maybe she had even imagined him? Although she knew she hadn’t. It was all wishful thinking. She ought to have followed her instincts and never let Charlene persuade her to come here. The holiday was going to be a disaster. The next instant a card was being pushed into her hand and a well-remembered voice growled low in her ear, ‘I would like to talk with you. Give me a ring.’

He disappeared as quickly as he had approached. Charlene looked at her sister in amazement. ‘Was that who I thought it was?’

Tanya nodded. ‘The very same.’

‘I cannot believe it. In the two years I’ve been out here I’ve never seen him, not once.’

‘I know, you told me,’ muttered Tanya unhappily. ‘It was what finally persuaded me to come. Hell, I wish I hadn’t; he’s going to ruin my holiday.’

‘Rubbish, you won’t see him again.’ Charlene’s tone was positive, her arm protectively around her younger sister. ‘What did he want anyway?’

‘He said he wanted to talk to me.’

‘What a nerve.’ Charlene was incensed. ‘Is this his address?’ She plucked the card from Tanya’s hand and tore it into pieces, throwing them into the air where they fell like confetti.

Charlene was the elder of the two sisters, taller and heavier, and had always had more to say for herself. Not that Tanya was lacking in confidence; far from it. Having lost both their parents at a very tender age, they had been brought up separately by a succession of foster-parents, some not always happy experiences, and they had frequently needed to stand up for themselves.

Tanya’s shoulder-length hair was a soft honey-gold, in complete contrast to Charlene’s raven darkness. The only things they had in common were their eyes, sloe-shaped and a beautiful azure-blue.

‘Come along.’ Charlene picked up Tanya’s case. ‘My car’s in the car park. Let’s forget we ever saw that man; he’s bad news without a doubt.’

Tanya followed her sister through the line of people waiting for taxis and over the road to the busy car park. The warmth of the day after England’s freezing winter temperatures was blissful, and she shrugged off her jacket as she walked. Seeing Alejandro at the airport had put a damper on her spirits, but she was determined not to let it get her down. Charlene was probably right; they wouldn’t see him again.

‘Here we are.’ Her sister’s voice cut into her thoughts. She opened the boot of a smart white car and threw Tanya’s case inside. ‘Let’s go.’

Alejandro was forgotten as they left the airport and hit the motorway. Tanya gazed with interest at her surroundings; the bare, jagged mountains in the distance, their tops draped in mist; the brown, barren countryside with just the odd shrub or clump of prickly pear growing tenaciously in the dry earth; the occasional flush of buildings, some industrial, some purpose-built holiday developments close to the shore.

It was all new and exciting, and she did not want to miss a thing. Charlene had recently moved in with a family whose daughter worked in the same hotel as Charlene, and they had become good friends. The girl’s mother had agreed to Tanya’s spending her holiday with them as well. Tanya found it difficult to believe the woman’s generosity to a complete stranger.

They soon left the motorway and headed up into the hills, the road curving and climbing, bushes of white daisy-like flowers and clumps of spiny cactus adorning the roadside. They passed through a dusty village where old men sat outside bars and children kicked balls or rode BMXs, and passed several isolated houses on the outskirts; square, box-like dwellings built out of blocks. Some had been whitewashed, some were still bare concrete, looking, to Tanya’s English eyes, as though they were not finished. One or two had pantiled roofs and looked more attractive, but when Charlene turned off the road and pulled up beside one of the unpainted buildings Tanya looked at her with a frown. ‘Is this where you’re living?’

Charlene smiled and nodded. ‘It’s not like it looks, I assure you. It’s heavenly inside; most of them are. You can’t go by external appearances. I was once told that it was because the Canarians didn’t care what a house looked like on the outside, as we do—but I later learned that the real reason is that they don’t have to pay taxes on unfinished buildings. The government run campaigns sometimes to try to get people to paint their walls white, but they’re always a failure.’

Still looking doubtful, Tanya followed her sister. The single-storey building was an odd shape, as though it had had further rooms built on as and when the need arose. There was a wall, built yet again out of grey blocks, denoting the boundary of the property, but there was no garden as such, just a few straggly plants growing and a dog foraging. Coming from her smart semi-detached house on the outskirts of Sheffield, with its tidy green and abundant garden, Tanya found it difficult to feel happy about spending a month here.

All the windows were shuttered—wooden, varnished shutters—and the front door was wooden too. In fact it was an ornately carved, expensive-looking door which looked oddly out of place with its surroundings. And once inside Tanya could see what Charlene meant. The cool, clean hallway boasted a tiled floor, a polished chair in the corner and a profusion of healthy plants which hung and sat and filled every corner. It was like an oasis m the desert.

In the shadowy living-room Charlene’s friend’s mother waited to greet her. The tiny woman was dressed all in black, her greying hair secured in a neat bun. She smiled warmly as Charlene made the introductions in fluent Spanish and held out her hand. Tanya smiled back. ‘It’s very kind of you to let me stay here.’ she said.

Through her sister she established that Señora Guerra was very pleased to welcome her into their-house and she was to treat it as her home and come and go as she pleased and not to worry about disturbing them.

Tanya was grateful her sister spoke the language—it had actually been a prerequisite of her job at the hotel. In fact Charlene spoke several languages. Tanya, on the other hand, spoke no more than schoolgirl French.

‘She’s a wonderful lady,’ Charlene told her. ‘Señor Guerra died a few years ago, but she has coped admirably. Maribel is her only child left at home. She has three sons, but they are all married now, though they frequently visit. She’s delighted about it. The house almost bursts at the seams when they all come.’

‘I hope I won’t be in the way,’ said Tanya worriedly.

‘Of course not. It was Señora Guerra’s idea that you stay here.’ She turned and said something to the older woman, who instantly smiled, speaking rapidly, gesturing eloquently, reassuring Tanya that she was not putting them out in the least.

The room they were in amazed Tanya. It was like going back a hundred years; it was like photographs she had seen of days gone by. The furniture looked like oak, big and solid, and the dresser packed with plates and cups and saucers. There was a settee and rocking-chairs with hand-embroidered cushions, pieces of pottery, photographs and pictures on the walls and more plants standing in big pots on the tiled floor or hanging from the ceiling. Every inch of space was used. It was cluttered but beautiful, and Tanya loved it.

She suddenly realised that her host was watching her, and she gave an apologetic smile. ‘I was admiring your house. It’s lovely.’

Charlene translated and the woman beamed, and then Tanya was taken to her room, which was next to Charlene’s. Again, heavy oak furniture was dominant. The walls were painted a simple white, only the patch-work bedcover providing a bright splash of colour.

The first thing she did was open the windows and push back the shutters, allowing the bright sunlight to flood the room. The jagged outline of the mountains was up above them, the earlier mist having completely disappeared, the sky a clear, intense blue. Tanya was anxious to explore—so long as she did not bump into Alejandro! The thought of him being somewhere out there still festered in the back of her mind.

Her sister helped her unpack, and by the time she had freshened up and changed into a cotton sundress Señora Guerra had lunch waiting. A white cloth had been spread on the table in the living-room, and as soon as Tanya sat down her meal was set in front of her—white fish, potatoes cooked in their skins, carrots and peas.

‘Bacalao,’ confirmed Charlene with a smile, ‘or codfish to you and me, and these——’ indicating the potatoes, ‘—are papas arrugadas, which, translated literally, means wrinkled potatoes. They’re cooked in very salty water and allowed to boil dry, leaving a salty coating on their skins. The Canarians always cook them this way. I love them.’

Tanya’s verdict later was one of approval too. It was a simple meal, yet filling and tasty, and when she was offered fresh fruit for dessert she had to refuse. They drank wine also, a sweet, local wine that was not really to Tanya’s taste, though she was too polite to say so. Señora Guerra was a marvellous hostess, even with the language barrier, her actions and expressions when she was trying to get something across making Tanya laugh wholeheartedly.

After lunch Charlene took her for a short drive; once back she met Señora Guerra’s daughter, ate another excellent meal—thinking she would be as fat as a pig when she went home if she went on like this—and now she lay in bed, her head sunk into a soft, sweet-smelling pillow. One way and another it had been quite a day, and she was desperately tired, yet thoughts of Alejandro kept her wide awake.

He had duped her all right. She had never dreamt that he was using her, that it was an affair he was after, a passionate fling before he went back to Tenerife to marry his childhood sweetheart. What a gullible fool she had been. He had even talked about bringing her here, had spoken of the pleasure he would get in showing her his beloved country—and she had believed him! What a silver-tongued swine he was. All the anger she had felt nine years ago came back with a vengeance, boiling, enraging, making her wish desperately and deeply that she had not let Charlene persuade her to come.

And why should he want to talk to her? What was there to say? Nothing! Not a thing. He had hurt her feelings immeasurably; she had given him all of her love, and for what? He was the last person she wanted to talk to now, and she hoped and prayed that she would never see him again.

Inevitably her thoughts went back to their first meeting. She had been eighteen at the time, and they had met at a friend’s wedding. He had been working as a waiter in the hotel restaurant in which the reception was held, and there had been an instant mutual attraction. They had not spoken, Alejandro refusing to put his job in jeopardy by chatting to one of the guests, but the suggestion had been there in his eyes that he would like to see her again.

How he had found out where she worked Tanya did not know, but two days later he had been waiting outside the office block when she finished at five. For a few seconds all she could do was stare in amazement.

‘Do forgive me,’ he said, in heavily accented English, ‘but I wanted to see you.’ His teeth were white and even, his smile cautious.

‘How did you know where to find me?’ Her heart began to hammer and her blue eyes were wide as she looked at him. He was dressed in jeans and a black leather jacket with a roll-collared blue sweater beneath. He was fantastically handsome and a whole head taller than herself, which made him over six feet. He was a few years older as well, and she found him tremendously exciting.

‘I have seen you many times as I live not far away from here, but I did not have the courage to speak,’ he told her honestly. ‘Then at the wedding I knew I had to make the effort. I hope you are not offended.’

Tanya shook her head, completely mesmerised by this fascinating stranger. She could not quite make up her mind from which part of the world he came—Spain or Italy, perhaps, judging by his colouring.

He held out his hand. ‘My name is Alejandro Vazquez Herrera, and I believe you are Tanya? A beautiful name for a beautiful girl.’

‘Tanya Elliott,’ she confirmed, putting her slim hand into his, liking the feel of his firm handshake. ‘How did you know?’

‘By keeping my ears open at the wedding reception,’ he confessed with an engaging smile. ‘May I take you for a drink?’

‘Perhaps a coffee?’ she murmured. She felt a sudden shyness which was alien to her, and put it down to the fact that he wasn’t English. He was really quite the most exciting person she had met in a long time.

She walked along at his side, aware of the curious glances of her colleagues. There would be plenty of questions tomorrow. ‘Are you living in England permanently?’ she ventured after they had walked a few yards in silence.

‘No,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘I am here to study English. I am taking classes and doing a job at the same time to help pay for both them and my accommodation.’

‘Your English sounds very good to me,’ she said, hiding her disappointment that he would one day return to his home country.

‘It has improved,’ he agreed, lifting his shoulders in a modest gesture. ‘I have been here twelve months now. I have enjoyed it very much.’

‘How much longer do you plan to stay?’ She waited with bated breath for his answer. It would be just her luck if he was planning to go home very shortly.

‘I am in no hurry,’ he told her.

Tanya’s face broke into an involuntary smile of relief. ‘Where do you come from?’

’The Canary Islands—Tenerife, to be exact. Have you ever been there?’

Tanya shook her head.

‘Then you must; they are beautiful. Politically we belong to Spain, but we prefer to think of ourselves as independent.’

Tanya showed her ignorance. ‘I’m not even sure where they are.’

He gave a slow, tolerant smile. ‘In the Atlantic Ocean, just off the coast of Africa. The climate is superb. Ask a Canarian what the islands are unique for, and he will say the weather. It is our blessing. It encourages tourism and prospers our economy.’

‘So what do you think of England?’

A grimace took the place of his smile. ‘What do I think? I am used to it now, but it was so cold when I first came. I wondered how you put up with it. Now I think England is beautiful—not so much as Tenerife, of course, but…’ He broke off and laughed. ‘I am joking. Your country is—how do you say it?—on a par. Each has its own—advantages. Is that right?’

Tanya nodded, laughing also. He was being very diplomatic.

‘Shall we take our coffee here?’ He halted outside a tearoom which had a good reputation and was not very busy at this time of day.

Afterwards Tanya had no idea what they talked about. She remembered him saying that his mother was no longer alive, that he had several brothers and sisters, all younger than himself, but apart from that she recalled nothing. She knew only that she had had a wonderful time and that Alejandro was no longer a stranger but a warm, humorous man who had kept her amused and happy and wormed his way just a little into her heart—even in that short space of time.

She could not sleep that night for thinking about him, and could not wait for their next date. He had only one evening free a week, he told her ruefully, but this week he had all day Sunday off and he would very much like to see her then.

Tanya lived in a small bed-sitter on the top floor of a converted Victorian house on the outskirts of Birmingham, found for her by the local council when she became of age and no longer qualified for foster care. Charlene had wanted her to move in to her much bigger and comfortable apartment, but Tanya craved her independence. She wanted to lead her own life.

In the weeks that followed Tanya saw as much of Alejandro as was possible, given that he worked unsociable hours and still took English lessons in his spare time. It was a passionate, intense affair, both feeling as though they had known each other forever, hating the hours they were forced to spend apart, never able to get enough of each other.

When her sister met him she was equally impressed. ‘Lucky you,’ she said, ‘but be careful. Don’t forget he’ll be going home one day.’

‘Yes, but he’ll take me with him,’ said Tanya confidently. ‘He’s already spoken about it.’

Charlene looked sceptical. ‘Isn’t that what they all say? I’ve lived longer than you, Tan; I know what men are like.’

But Tanya would listen to nothing detrimental about her beloved Alejandro, and for three months the affair raged. She grew more and more confident in her love for him, never actually declaring her feelings—and nor did he—but they both knew that it was there, and as far as Tanya was concerned she was happier than she had ever been in her life.

He showed his love in a dozen different ways; in his caring attitude, in the intense physical pleasure of their lovemaking, in the little gifts he bought her—nothing expensive—a single rose, chocolates, a glossy magazine, bath oils. None cost more than a pound or two, and yet they meant as much to Tanya as if he had bought her diamonds or gold.

Always he came to the flat for her; sometimes they went out, sometimes they stayed in, and once he had taken her back to his room at the hotel. Employees were actually not allowed to have members of the opposite sex in their rooms, but she had said so many times that she wanted to see where he lived, that in the end he had given in.

How many times since had she wished she had never gone there? It was as small and cramped as her own room, but far more untidy, and when she offered to make them a cup of coffee she could not help noticing the letter that had been left lying on the cupboard where the kettle stood.

Her eyes flicked over the boldly written page before she realised what she was doing, and once she had started she could not stop. It was from Alejandro’s father, and surprisingly written in English—probably as a concession to his son’s improving his knowledge of the language. Although his father’s mastery of English was not very good, Tanya managed to make out that he was asking Alejandro when he was coming home, because Juanita was growing impatient. It was time he came back and made arrangements for his wedding, which had been put off long enough.

His wedding! Tanya felt the colour drain out of her face, and without stopping to think she picked up the letter and thrust it under Alejandro’s nose. ‘What the hell is this all about?’

‘You should not have read that, Tanya,’ he said quietly.

‘But I have,’ she cried, ‘and I want to know about this girl, this Juanita. Why have you never told me about her? Why have you let me assume that it’s me you love? Hell, if I’d known all you were interested in was an affair I——’

‘That is not the case,’ he interjected sharply.

‘No?’ Her eyes widened, full of scepticism. ‘It looks very much like that to me. Do you deny that there’s another girl in your life?’

‘Yes, I do,’ he announced strongly.

‘So who is Juanita?’

‘A lifelong friend, a family friend; we virtually grew up together.’

‘A friend?’ Tanya’s tone filled with disbelief. ‘It doesn’t sound as though she’s just a friend to me.’

‘Maybe there was more in it once,’ he admitted, ‘but that was over a long time ago. I have already written and told her about you.’

Tanya shook her head, wanting to believe him, but unable to. If he had written Juanita would surely have told his father, especially if the families were close. ‘You’re lying,’ she whispered. ‘You’re trying to get out of it. Well, don’t bother; it’s over. I want nothing more to do with you. You’re nothing but a two-timing snake in the grass. Juanita is welcome to you.’ She picked up her jacket and headed for the door.

’Tanya, stop!’ Alejandro’s voice came after her. ‘Let me explain; do not walk out on me like this.’

‘What is there to explain?’ she tossed over her shoulder. ‘Everything is as clear as tap water. You’ve been using me; it’s as simple as that. You’ve wanted a girl to satisfy your basic male urges until you get back to your true love. I feel sorry for her, do you know that? I wonder if she knows what type of man it is she’s going to marry.’

‘Do you really think I would behave so badly?’ His dark eyes were cold, his whole body rigid.

‘Yes, I do,’ she yelled. ‘I not only think it, there’s proof in your father’s letter. Goodbye, Alejandro.’ She slammed the door and marched along the corridor, running down the steps and through the hotel grounds to the street. Not until she was long out of sight of the building did she slow down, but it was not until she reached the refuge of her bed-sitter that she let her tears fall.

Never had she felt so humiliated. She really had thought that she meant something to him. Her sister had been right. If only she had listened, if only she hadn’t let herself get so deeply emotionally involved.

For two days Tanya did not leave her flat. Her face was so swollen by crying that she was too embarrassed to go to work, and she didn’t even care whether she lost her job. Life was hell all of a sudden.

To begin with she had thought that Alejandro would contact her, that he would come round and explain everything, declare his love, say his father was mistaken, but she heard nothing, and the two days turned into a week, a week of intense misery. When she could stand it no longer she swallowed her pride and marched round to the hotel. It couldn’t just end like this; she wouldn’t let it. Maybe he had been right and she wrong. Maybe he had written to Juanita. Maybe she ought to give him the benefit of the doubt.

The news that he had gone back to Tenerife paralysed her, the shock of it almost greater than discovering that he had another girl. He had gone without a word, without trying to patch things up between them. It was over, all over, and when her sister announced that she had accepted a job as under-manager in a new, though relatively small hotel in Sheffield, Tanya readily accepted the invitation to go and live with her.

Several months went by, during which time Tanya gradually came back to life, settled down in a new job as a junior secretary with a computer software company, and resolutely pushed Alejandro out of her mind.

Until the day Charlene came home with the news that she had heard Alejandro was married. Tanya’s mouth fell open and she felt as though someone had kicked her legs from beneath her. She dropped on to the nearest chair. ‘To Juanita?’ she managed to whisper.

Charlene nodded. ‘I’m so sorry, Tan. But I thought it best you knew. Now you’ll be able to get on with your life, accept some of those dates that you keep refusing.’

‘But how—how did you find out?’ Tanya’s blue eyes were wide and troubled, her face pale.

‘I got talking to one of the guests who hailed from Tenerife. I happened to mention Alejandro, and strangely enough he knew him—or at least he knew of him.’

Tanya swallowed hard. ‘How long ago did he get married?’

Charlene shrugged. ‘I don’t know; he didn’t say.’

So that definitely was the end of it, thought Tanya, as she lay in bed that night. Not even to herself had she admitted that she always hoped he might come back, that he would trace her and declare his love for her. Now there was no chance, none at all. It was definitely the end.

She still found it difficult to believe that he had been so warm and loving towards her when all the time there had been another girl in the background. She really had thought he was genuinely in love with her; she had never dreamt that it was all a game to him.

After this further blow to her pride Tanya decided that she had stayed in long enough. She would go out on dates, enjoy male company, but she would never, ever, let herself become involved again. She would be like her sister, a dedicated career woman.

All went well until two years later when she met Peter. He was warm and wonderful and kind, and she fell in love. It was nothing like her love for Alejandro; this was a much gentler relationship, with none of the passion and hunger that had so inflamed her body, sent her soaring with the stars and flying with the eagles. But nevertheless she was content, and twelve months later they were married. Three years after that Peter died from a long and serious illness. Tanya was devastated. At the age of twenty-four she had suffered two terrible losses.

It took her time to pull herself together, but she managed it, and when she applied for promotion, and got the job of PA to the managing director of the software company, she put her heart and soul into her work, not minding that John Drake asked her to work long hours, that sometimes she dropped into bed so exhausted that she was sure she wouldn’t wake with the alarm the next morning. But always she did, and somehow she survived.

When Charlene announced that she’d been offered a job running a large hotel in Tenerife Tanya could not believe the irony of it. Mention of Alejandro’s native country brought painful memories back, and wild horses wouldn’t drag her out there with her sister, although Charlene had done her best to persuade her.

‘I have my own house now. I’m settled here; I like it,’ Tanya insisted.

‘And I suppose you’re trying to tell me it has nothing to do with Alejandro Vazquez,’ taunted Charlene.

‘No, I’m not; it has everything to do with him. There’s no way I want to meet that man again.’

‘You’re still hung up over him?’ Charlene frowned. ‘I thought all that had died when you married Peter. You haven’t mentioned him for years.’

‘He was my first love,’ announced Tanya quietly. ‘I’ll never forget him.’