Читать книгу The Amish Marriage Bargain - Marie E. Bast - Страница 16

Thad’s heart felt stretched, as if he wore it on the soles of his shoes and he was walking on it. If May decided to move to Indiana, what would he do without her? He and Leah would both miss her.

May loved Leah and he hoped enough to stay and marry him. If they married, he’d shower her with so much happiness, she’d have no choice but to fall in liebe with him again.

But if May ever found out the real reason why he married April, she would hate him.

A lump rose in his throat. What if May decided to move away, and he never saw her again? She was the only woman he wanted.

He glanced at the clock. One hour past the last time he looked. What was the bishop saying that it was taking so long?

Ethan entered the barn, letting the door bang as he walked toward Thad. “I’ll start the evening milking, Mr. Hochstetler.”

Thad nodded. “Gut. I’ll help, and you can follow me.” Jah, he needed to concentrate on something to keep his mind off May. He applied the iodine mixture to the cows’ udders while Ethan followed along behind with the alcohol wipe. Ethan was a gut bu and a hard worker. Thad appreciated the loyalty the young man gave him.

He finished his barn chores, stepped out of the barn and noticed the bishop’s buggy still parked in his drive. He heaved a long sigh. It was not a gut sign that the bishop was still talking to May. That could only mean one thing—May said no and the bishop was trying to talk her into marrying him.

When the screen door banged closed, Thad gave a grunt and walked toward the bishop’s buggy. His heart pounded like a blacksmith’s hammer with every step.

The bishop met him at his buggy wearing a long face. Then he smiled at Thad. “Jah, she will marry you in two weeks. Since you have been married before, and her mamm and daed have passed away, she wants just a small gathering instead of inviting the whole community. Until then, you will sleep in the dawdi haus. I’ll read the banns on Sunday.”

After the bishop left, he felt numb. This seemed too gut to be true. He inched his way to the haus, pulled the screen door open, entered the kitchen and stopped cold. May was standing at the sink, her back toward him. He gawked at her, unsure what to say. Should he wait for her to speak first? His gut clenched as he pulled a chair away from the table and sat.

Though it was summer outside, a coolness filled the distance between them. Was she going to back out?

Had she truly forgiven him?

The minute she turned from the sink, his heart raced, and his tongue felt like a piece of toast. He stood up, his knees shaking, when she approached the table.

“Hullo.”

He nodded and smiled.

May motioned for him to sit. She sat across from him, laid her hands in her lap and straightened her back. “Were you surprised to hear the news from the bishop?”

“Jah, but gut surprised.” He dropped his gaze to his hands folded on the table and studied them. Each callus, each skinned knuckle and each chipped nail had a story. He raised his eyes to hers. “I have just one question. Your answer won’t stop the wedding, but I want to know...are you marrying me because you have forgiven me, or because you liebe Leah too much to leave her?” He held his breath for a second before blowing it out.

May glanced at the window, then returned her gaze to him. Her demeanor seemed more businesslike than happy that she’d just accepted a marriage proposal.

His pulse quickened. Something wasn’t right. Had the bishop threatened a shunning or something if she didn’t marry him?

He bit his lip and braced for the worst.

Silence stretched across the room. All he could hear was the pounding of his heart. It just occurred to him...he might not like what she was going to say.

Dampness beaded his brow.

May’s heart nearly stuttered to a stop. “Thad...” She kept her gaze on her hands, then lifted her eyes to meet his. “I’m not going to lie to you or pretend this is something that it’s not. I’ll tell you the truth, and if you want to call off the wedding afterward, that’s fine. I’ll understand and move to Indiana.”

He shifted in his chair, and she noticed the moisture dotting his forehead. Maybe she should have made this easy and bought a train ticket to Shipshewana.

“Listen, Thad. April asked me to take care of you and Leah, but she didn’t tell me to marry you. Two things are keeping me in Iowa. I want to be the one to raise Leah, and I want to help you save the farm.”

She peered into his face, then glanced away. He looked shocked. “Not quite what you wanted to hear?”

“I’m listening.”

“Scripture tells us we must forgive or Gott will not forgive us. It’s hard, but if He said I must, then I will... I have. Yet at times, like when I look at Leah and see your features, it floods back into my memory that you tossed me aside for April.” Her voice quaked.

“May.” Thad started to speak, but she held up a hand.

“You said you loved me. I’m not sure about that, but maybe so. We were always the best of friends. Back then, did we even know what liebe was? But if you had truly loved me, you wouldn’t have married my sister. You’d have married me.”

Discomfort lined his face.

“I’ll try to make you a gut frau. It might take some time, but maybe after a while, I’ll be able to put the past behind us and move on. But I can’t promise that on some days it won’t surface. If this doesn’t work for you, I’ll leave tomorrow.”

“Nein, I want you for my frau, and I will do everything in my power to make you forget the past.” He unclasped his hands on the table and reached his right hand across to her. She slowly put her hand in his. He clasped his fingers around hers and squeezed, then she squeezed. “The bargain is sealed.”

Her cheeks burned and her heart nearly stuttered to a stop.

“We’ll be married in two weeks and have the service here on the farm.” His eyes held hers captive for several seconds before letting go.

He pulled his hand slowly away from hers as he stood, and a lonely feeling gripped her as he walked away.

She brought her hand to her face, curled her fingers and braced the knuckles against her chin as her elbow rested on the table. May took a deep breath and could smell the lingering scent of soiled straw.

The next day, May called her sister, aents and close friends to tell them her big news. Sadie insisted everyone come to her farm for the planning.

The following day dawned with a brilliant sun to chase away her cloudy mood. Fear started to shimmy up her spine. Had she made the right decision? She could still buy a train ticket. Nein, she shook his hand. She’d made a bargain.

She forced those thoughts from her head and hitched Gumdrop, her favorite horse, to her buggy and headed to her sister Sadie’s farm to plan the wedding. The clip-clop of Gumdrop’s hooves had a calming effect. She watched the yards of daffodils and roses go by, the birds sitting on the fence chirping take flight, and the occasional motor vehicle zip past.

She guided Gumdrop up the drive and passed the toolshed. John, Sadie’s ehemann, greeted her with a wave. “Mornin’.”

“Hullo, May. Congratulations. Sadie is excited and started planning without you so you better hurry on in.”

“Danki, John. That’s what big sisters are for.” She laughed as she ran to the haus.

Sadie flung open the door. “Ach, May, I can’t believe you and Thad are getting married. I had no idea you two were back together. That’s so wunderbaar.”

Her aents and cousins from her daed’s side were there and took over the planning while May worked on her wedding dress. It would have been nice if Aent Edna could have made it, and her other relatives from Indiana, but it was too short notice to make travel plans. And some of her cousins didn’t have the extra money for such things.

She held up her dress. It was the same material as her Sunday dress, only this one was in her favorite shade of blue. A sense of hope seemed to cling to the cloth as she laid it down and ran her hand down the bodice. A string of emotions wheezed through her one right after the other. Regret, turned to excitement, then slid into nervousness. Moisture gathered and clogged her throat. Mamm, I wish you could have been here to see me married. At the sound of shuffling feet, she cleared her throat and fluttered her eyelids to bat away the extra moisture.

“May, congratulations.” Aent Matilda whirled into the room with her tochter Josephine close behind. “We are so happy for you.”

“Danki for coming, and Josie, danki for being one of my attendants.”

“Cousin, I’m thrilled you asked me. I’m so excited for you.” Josie knelt on the floor beside May’s chair and squeezed her hand. “This is so wunderbaar, and now Leah will have a real mamm.”

Matilda flounced into a chair next to May. “Jah, and Josie and I will organize your kitchen help and see that all the food is prepared on time. Your wedding will be a very special day, indeed.”

Matilda gave May a one-armed hug and shared what May’s mamm and daed’s wedding day was like. The day flowed with joy and excitement, and Matilda remembered the stars in both her parents’ eyes. “Jah, now we must go and help plan and prepare and you must finish your dress.” She patted May’s hand as she stood.

The air stilled after Matilda and Josie swished through the room like a broom, and May stared at her wedding dress and the stitch she just made. Her hands shook as she stuck the needle in the hem of the dress. It was really happening. She was going to marry Thad. Her heart beat fast and hard, but she wasn’t quite sure why. It was only a marriage of convenience. Nein. A marriage bargain. Nothing more.

Before she’d left the farm, Thad had given the youngies instructions to clean the yard and barnyard, and when they finished with that, they were to start plucking the chickens for the wedding dinner. The women were planning to serve baked chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy, creamy celery casserole, coleslaw, pies, donuts, pudding and several cakes, which included two special ones that her friend Sarah and her sixteen-year-old tochter Mary would make.

When she got home from Sadie’s, it was non-stop work of washing walls, floors, fixtures, dusting from top to bottom, borrowing dishes and silverware, and planning the seating to feed one hundred guests. Although Matilda had organized and delegated a job to each of her cousins, May still insisted on helping. Most Amish weddings would have as many as three to four hundred guests. When an average Amish family was nine people, it didn’t take long to fill the guest book. Aent Matilda and Josie were in charge of organizing the kitchen and cooks and May knew not to interfere.

Since Thad’s farm had belonged to her parents, it made sense for her wedding to take place there.

On the eve of her wedding, May twirled around in her room like it was the last time she’d ever see it. Of course it wasn’t, but why was that feeling stirring in her stomach? She stopped moving and blotted a tear that had collected in the corner of her eye. She glanced out the window and toward heaven. How she wished Mamm and Daed could be here with her right now. But if they were, what would they truly think about her marrying Thad? Would Daed have given his blessing?

May woke early and bolted upright in bed. Ach, it’s my wedding day! A shiver of fear swept over her. Had she made the right decision? It wasn’t too late; she could change her mind.

Nein, she’d given her word.

She jumped out of bed and slipped into her wedding dress. The noise from downstairs with Matilda and her helpers preparing food for the noon wedding meal seeped through the floor.

May took special care with her hair, pinning it back and into a bun as her mamm had taught her when she was young. She carefully placed her new prayer kapp in just the exact place. This would be the only time she’d wear these clothes, then she’d pack them away for her funeral.

May smoothed her skirt and slipped her apron over it. The Englisch liked to wear fancy dresses to their weddings, but she was content with the Plain ways. If everyone in her community wore Plain clothes, then no one would appear wealthier than another, and she liked that thought.

A tap sounded on her bedroom door. “May? Open up, it’s Janie and Josie.”

She ran to the door and threw it open. “I’m so glad you’re both here.” She wrapped them each in a group hug, then stepped back. “How do I look?”

“That blue is the perfect color for you,” Josie said, and Janie nodded in agreement.

“Are you getting cold feet?” Janie raised a brow. “Your face is saying take me out behind the barn and hide me.”

“Ach, just a little bit. I hope this is the right choice. The bishop pressured me to make a decision, and now I’m not sure.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. You’ve liked Thad ever since you were fourteen.”

“Jah, but don’t forget, he married April first.”

Josie grabbed May’s hand and held it tight. “Forgive like Jesus did.”

“I’m trying.” She glanced at the clock on her nightstand, then turned to her side-sitters. “It’s almost nine o’clock... We’d better go downstairs.”

They hurried to their bench in the family room as Thad and his attendants, his brothers Jonah and Simon, took their places.

At 9:00 a.m., the congregation started to sing the first song from the Ausbund while the ministers motioned to Thad and May to follow them to the back room, or rightfully called the council room for her wedding, for their twenty-minute premarital talk. Her stomach clenched as she stood. She’d seen other couples get marched off, but no one ever divulged what a twenty-minute talk was, not even Sadie. But it was considered part of the ceremony so it had a great significance. She blotted her hand on her skirt as the ministers entered the room first. Thad pressed a warm hand to her back as they entered. His strong support and nearness calmed her, knowing she wasn’t in this alone. He turned and closed the door.

When they stepped from the room, Thad grabbed her hand and walked beside her. May almost jerked her hand away, but didn’t. They were a couple now. They returned to their benches. Thad and his two attendants sat and faced May and her side-sitters.

After the ministers gave their sermons, Bishop Yoder delivered the main sermon that focused on the Old Testament marriages, their relationships and the obstacles their marriages faced. Just before noon, the bishop called May and Thad up front for the wedding ceremony.

Thad said his vows first.

The bishop glanced toward May. “Do you promise...?”

May froze. The words wouldn’t come. Her heart raced and her throat tightened. She drew in a deep breath of air, but her throat was too tight to speak.

Thad stared at May with a pale mask covering his face. “May?”

“Jah, take your time, May,” Bishop Yoder whispered.

May squeezed her eyes closed. What was it Janie said? This was final. Forever. What was she thinking? She should have thought about this longer.

A faint shuffling of feet from someone on the benches caught her attention. Jah, she had to answer.

The bishop touched her elbow. “Do you need to sit?”

“Nein. I feel better.”

The bishop repeated the question.

She cleared her throat. “Yes.”

Bishop Yoder quickly pronounced them ehemann and frau. May froze as his words settled over her like a thin dusting of flour. It was real. She was Thad’s frau.

After the closing words, Thad took her hand and pulled her gently to face him. “Don’t look so scared. We are now one, forever and always, May.” He pulled the back of her hand to his lips and bushed it with a kiss. A smile slowly spread across his face until it reached his eyes and tugged at May’s heart.

She turned her head trying to hide her face, until she finally gave in and smiled back.

When Mildred’s helpers had everything ready, she called to the wedding party to take their places at the bridal table.

They sat at the Eck, the bridal table, and ate their meal. There was little talking since everyone was hungry after the long morning. May took a sip of lemonade and let her gaze wander to Thad. He was talking to his bruder Jonah. She hadn’t really paid much attention lately, but when he was cleaned up, he was a handsome man, her ehemann.

May turned toward Josie and Janie and joined in on their discussion, chattering as if they were at a frolic.

Thad reached over and gave May’s arm a quick pat.

She pulled her attention from her side-sitters and focused on Thad. Her face twisted into a playful smile.

“It will be nice having a frau. Now I won’t have to take out the garbage.” His voice teetering toward the loud side.

Knowing he was trying to break the tension between them, she tossed him a not-on-your-life look with a raised brow. “You’re not getting off that easy.” They both chuckled.

Their laughter lightened the mood, and it helped May forget that he was April’s ehemann first and she was once again getting April’s hand-me-down clothing. Only this time it was her husband.

Thad glanced at her. “Are you sure you’re okay, May?”

“Jah, it’s just...my head is spinning. Two weeks ago, I had planned to buy a train ticket to Indiana. Now I’m married.”

“But you’re okay with it, right?” He caught her hand in his and squeezed.

“I’m fine.”

“We need to walk around and greet our guests.” He swung his legs over the bench and pulled her to her feet, wrapping his arm around her.

She shook aside the image of April eighteen months earlier, in this very spot, and clung to Thad’s side as they walked around all afternoon and evening visiting with their guests.

When the last few buggies finally pulled away, Thad helped the youngies pick up the benches, and May stole her way back into the haus and up to Leah’s room. She cracked the door and peeked in.

Josie, dressed in her nightgown, sat next to Leah’s crib. She waved her in.

“I missed this little one,” Josie whispered.

“Me, too.” May quietly pulled the rocker over next to Josie’s chair by the crib and sat.

“You should be with your new ehemann.” Josie nodded toward the door. “I’m watching Leah. Go.”

“I just wanted to check on her. He is helping the buwe stack the benches on the wagon so they’ll be ready for Church Sunday.”

“How does it feel to be a frau?”

The question bounced around in her head. She wasn’t quite sure of the answer. She wanted to be Leah’s mamm, and Thad came along as baggage. “It’s a new feeling.”

That was a lie. She felt numb.

Josie gave her a hug. “I’ll help clean the mess tomorrow. You go get ready for bed. You’re a married woman now. I’ll sleep on the twin bed next to Leah’s crib. And don’t worry about a thing.”

May slid out of the rocker, walked to the door, and glanced back at Josie and Leah. Leah looked like a little angel, and after the long day, Josie looked like she was asleep already.

She hoped her married life was as simple as that.