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CLUB TIMES

For Members’ Eyes Only

Which Carson Has Been Playing in the Wainwrights’ Sandbox?

I’m not pulling a fast one over on you, members. One of our elders saw some, ahem, cozy behavior between a certain Carson cowboy and a “bookish” Wainwright female not too long ago. Now, I don’t want to start World War III here, but I’m just saying that some Carson-Wainwrights sure ain’t feudin’! The betting pool for which Wainwright and which Carson will take place in the Yellow Rose Café after the lunch shift this coming Sunday. We hope you understand that this is all in good fun, members. We don’t want to aggravate Archy Wainwright’s ticker or Ford Carson’s cholesterol count.

As usual, we’re holding our candlelight vigil for valuable member Luke Callaghan’s safe return from wherever he is. The little scamp is probably in some hot air balloon wafting over Japan, with a harem to boot! Phone home, Luke!

Of course you know it’s not our place to poke into anyone’s affairs, but does anyone know why Carl Bridges has been so grouchy lately? He almost bit one nameless club employee’s head off for pouring his coffee too slowly. We’re not here to judge; it’s just that we care about our members. On a related note, do y’all remember Carl Bridges’s scallawag son, Dylan? Now there’s a handsome buck who’s always up to no good. Wonder what he’s doing now….

As always, members, make your best stop of the day right here at the Lone Star Country Club!