Читать книгу The Maverick's Return - Marie Ferrarella, Marie Ferrarella - Страница 9

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Chapter One

Daniel shifted from foot to foot, standing before the closed ranch house door.

His brother’s door.

He had absolutely no idea what to expect. What if, when his brother Jamie opened the door and saw who was knocking, he slammed it in his face?

Of course, there was a small chance, one that he was silently rooting for, that Jamie would mercifully allow him to plead his case.

The way he felt, however, the odds were probably against that happening.

It had taken Dan more than a whole month of intense soul searching to finally get up the nerve to take this giant step, to leave Colorado and travel all this distance back to Rust Creek Falls, Montana.

Back to his hometown and his roots.

Back to the place where it had all fallen apart twelve years ago.

Ironically, the very things that were drawing him back to Rust Creek Falls were the same things that had caused him to stay away so long in the first place.

The same things that made him hesitate reconnecting this last whole month.

Dan had raised his hand to knock on the door a total of three times now. And all three times his courage had failed him, causing him to drop his hand back down again to his side.

Come on. You didn’t come all this way back to Montana just to chicken out at the last minute. This isn’t you.

Except that, maybe, it was. Why else had he not tried to get back in contact with any of his siblings for over a decade?

The first two years of his self-imposed exile he’d been with his two older brothers, Luke and Bailey. But then they had gone their own separate ways, too, leaving him to fend for himself.

The simple truth of it was he was tired of being alone. Tired of having no one who shared at least part of the same memories from his childhood and adolescence.

Tired of not having any family.

It would have been different if he’d never had any siblings. He had very nearly made his peace with that. After all, he really had no idea where any of his brothers or sisters were anymore.

But then he’d heard Jamie’s voice on that broadcast last month and everything had changed.

Suddenly, he felt as if he was part of something again. He knew that at least Jamie was still back in Rust Creek Falls. All he had to do was reach out, reestablish that familial connection with his younger brother and just like that, he would have a family again.

It had sounded so easy when he had first thought of it. But now he wasn’t so sure.

At least find out if he’ll talk to you.

Taking a deep breath, Dan raised his hand again and this time, his knuckles finally made contact with the door, creating a rhythmic sound as he knocked.

He could feel his heart pounding as he stood there, waiting.

It was late afternoon, almost early evening. What if there was no one at home? What if Jamie and his triplets were away on vacation? After all, that could be a possibility, Dan thought.

Or what if Jamie was home, opened the door and then told him to go to hell?

Dan’s breath caught in his throat, all but turning solid.

What if—?

Suddenly, there was no more time for speculation or waffling. No more time for hypothetical what-ifs. The door opened and an older, adult version of the boy he had left behind twelve years ago, the young man he’d seen more than a month ago on his TV, was standing in the doorway, looking at him.

For a moment, the expression on Jamie Stockton’s face was blank. It was the kind of expression a person wore when they opened their door to someone they didn’t recognize.

But then, in the next moment, a multitude of emotions washed over Jamie’s face in quick succession, one after the other.

Like a man caught in a dream, Jamie stared at him. And then, finally, he asked hoarsely, “Daniel?”

Dan’s lips quirked in a quick, nervous smile. “Yeah. It’s me,” he confirmed, still feeling incredibly uneasy and uncertain about this reunion that he had instigated.

And then Dan cleared his throat and forced himself to push on and say something further. “I would have called ahead first, but I didn’t know how you would react to seeing me and I didn’t want to take a chance on you turning—”

Dan didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence. Whatever else he was going to say about his concerns regarding their first meeting in twelve years evaporated when Jamie pulled him into his arms and enfolded him in a giant bear hug.

“Oh my God, Danny. It really is you!” Jamie cried, holding on to him tightly, as if he was afraid that if he opened his arms, his older brother would suddenly just vanish.

When after a couple of minutes Jamie gave no sign of releasing him, Dan finally had to say, “Um, Jamie, I think you’re crushing my ribs.”

“Oh, right. Sorry.” Jamie let his arms drop. He took a step back and looked at Dan. Disbelief highlighted his face as his eyes raked over every square inch of his older brother. “It’s just that I never thought I’d see you again. Come in, come in,” he urged, gesturing into his house even as he ushered Dan in and closed the door behind him.

“Is everything okay? Are you here for a visit? Are you staying?” And then Jamie stopped asking questions. He took a deep breath, as if trying to get hold of himself. “Sorry, I don’t mean to overwhelm you. It’s just that there are so many things I want to know.”

Before Dan could say a single word in response, Jamie broke out in another huge smile. “Damn, but it’s good to see you!” he cried, pulling Dan into another heartfelt, although slightly less rib-crushing, bear hug.

This time, he released Dan without being prompted. A long sigh escaped him as he took a step back again.

“You’ve lost weight,” Jamie finally noted.

“I wasn’t exactly fat to begin with,” Dan reminded his brother with a self-conscious laugh.

“No, you weren’t. But I don’t recall your face looking this gaunt before—Damn, it’s so great to see you,” Jamie exclaimed again. “I thought... Well, for a while, I thought—” Jamie waved his hand. “Never mind what I thought. You’re alive and you’re here and that’s all that counts.” He blinked back tears that threatened to spill out. “Sit down. Make yourself comfortable,” he urged, gesturing toward the leather sofa in his living room.

Relieved, Dan sat down beside his brother. “This is quite a welcome,” he told Jamie, then confessed the fear that had almost made him turn around and go home before Jamie even knew he was there. “I was afraid you’d be angry with me.”

“You mean for leaving?”

Dan nodded, looking uncomfortable as well as embarrassed. “Yes.”

“I was,” Jamie admitted. “I was really angry for a while. Angry and bitter that you and Luke and Bailey had just picked up and left us. Left me,” he emphasized because that was what had been at the heart of his initial anger. “But then I realized that it wasn’t your fault. After Mom and Dad died in that car crash, Grandma and Grandpa didn’t exactly make it easy for the three of you to stick around.”

As his brother spoke, memories of his grandparents assailed Daniel. Reliving those harsh days, even now, was painful. But he needn’t explain them to Jamie, he realized, when his brother continued.

“I didn’t find out the truth till much later. That they’d made it quite clear that they might have to take in Bella and me—since they managed to get the other girls adopted—but the three of you who were eighteen or older could fend for yourselves somewhere else. They all but told you, Luke and Bailey to leave town, so you really had no choice but to go.”

Daniel could remember the day so clearly, though it had happened twelve years ago.

“But I didn’t know at the time that they had said that to you,” Jamie said. “All I knew was that my parents were dead and my big brothers had abandoned me just when I felt that I needed them the most.” Jamie shook his head, trying to block the painful feeling those memories aroused. “I was really angry at you for a long time.”

Dan made no effort to attempt to deflect the blame. However, the way Jamie had welcomed him was not the greeting of a man who still held a grudge.

“But you’re not anymore?” Dan asked, wanting to be perfectly clear just where they stood in relation to one another.

“No, I’m not,” Jamie readily confirmed.

Relief swamped him. Dan knew he should just accept that and be happy. He was aware that he was pushing his luck, but he had to know. “What changed your mind?”

Jamie laughed. “Simple. I found out that life’s too short to carry around all this anger and bitterness. And the triplets came into my life. Nothing like being responsible for three tiny, helpless souls to make you get over yourself—fast,” Jamie emphasized. “Once I stopped being so angry about everything, I left myself open for the good stuff, like love,” he told Dan with a wide grin. “And that’s when I fell in love with Fallon O’Reilly. After that, my whole world changed for the better—and now I couldn’t be happier.”

As if suddenly hearing himself, Jamie stopped right in the middle of his narrative, embarrassed. “Hell, I’m sorry.”

“About what?” Dan asked, confused.

“Well, I’m doing all the talking here.”

Dan shook his head. “That’s okay. I think it’s great. I haven’t heard your voice in so long,” he told Jamie. “Just keep talking.”

But Jamie was not about to get sidetracked again. He had questions for his older brother.

“No, first tell me what made you suddenly turn up on my doorstep now, after twelve long years.” Fresh fears suddenly surfaced in his mind. “Did something happen?” he wanted to know. “Has something suddenly changed? You’re not dying, are you?” he asked, alarmed.

“No, I’m not dying,” Dan assured his brother. “What happened was that I was in my cabin—”

Jamie cut in, surprised. “You have a cabin?”

“Yes,” Dan answered. He didn’t want to get into all that right now. That was for later. “Long story,” he said, waving it away.

Jamie was starved for any and all information concerning Dan, not to mention the rest of his family, except for his sister Bella, who was still in Rust Creek Falls, and other sister Dana, who had recently been found.

“Go ahead, I’m all ears,” Jamie told him.

Dan wanted to tell him about this part first, because it was what led to his coming back to Rust Creek Falls and to his seeking out Jamie. “I’ll tell you about that once I finish answering your first question.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Jamie said, then coaxed, “Go ahead, I’m listening.”

“All right, then.” Taking a breath, Dan began again. “I’d just put in an extra-hard day. Walking into my cabin, I turned on the TV for some company—”

“So you live alone?”

Alone.

Each time Dan heard it, the word burned more and more of a hole in his gut. “Yeah, I do.”

“You never married?” Jamie asked.

Dan shook his head. “Nope.”

How could he marry? His heart was not his to give to anyone. It was already spoken for—even if the woman who it belonged to had no use for it.

When he hesitated, Jamie apologized.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to pry,” he told Dan. “Go on. You walked in, turned on the TV for company and then what?”

When he heard Jamie summarize the events he’d just told him, the words had this incredibly lonely ring to them. He knew he’d felt the same thing time and again, but he’d talked himself into living with it. He’d made himself believe that his life wasn’t as soul-draining as it really was. But now he knew the truth. That he was exceedingly lonely—and that he had made the right decision in coming home.

At least for now.

“And then I heard this voice,” Dan said, continuing with his narrative, “this voice that was filled with pride and love, talking about his triplets.”

“Wait,” Jamie said, stopping his brother. “You heard me on TV? You caught that program that Travis Dalton taped in town? You actually saw The Great Roundup?”

Dan smiled at the eager disbelief he heard in his brother’s voice. “I did.”

“But that segment was on more than a month ago.”

Dan merely nodded and said, “I know.”

“You’ve been here in Rust Creek Falls all this time?”

“No, I just got here,” Dan corrected. He wanted his brother to understand that it had been his cold feet that had kept him from coming. “You’re my first stop. Possibly my only stop because I don’t know where everyone else is, or even if they’re still in Montana.”

But Jamie was still having a hard time making sense out of what he was hearing. The brother he remembered, the one he had idolized, had never been someone to drag his feet.

“I don’t understand. If the show was on over a month ago, what took you so long to get here?”

Dan wasn’t about to lie or make up excuses. “It took me a month to get up the nerve to come and see you. I wasn’t sure if you’d even let me come in your front door, or if you’d take one look at me, slam the door in my face and tell me to go to hell.”

Jamie stared at him, an incredulous smile widening on his lips.

“You were afraid I’d reject you?” he asked.

Dan nodded. “Something like that.”

The idea was so outlandish it almost made Jamie laugh out loud. “You were afraid of your little brother?” he asked, unable to believe that Danny could be afraid of anyone, least of all him.

Dan made no attempt at excuses, or to brazen the situation out. He was long past that sort of thing as far as he was concerned.

“Yes,” Dan admitted, “I was. Because, as far as you were concerned, Luke, Bailey and I had run out on you and the girls. Left you at the mercy of a couple of cranky grandparents, neither of whom was ever going to be up for grandparent of the year. Left you and never tried to get in contact with you,” Dan concluded with a sigh.

For a moment, the stark, honest answer left Jamie speechless. And then he said, “Well, at least you’re not trying to sugarcoat any of it, I’ll give you that.”

“I can’t sugarcoat it,” Dan admitted. “I want you to know that I wanted to see you and the girls, wanted to get in contact with you.” He put a hand on his brother’s shoulder, anchoring him with the sincere look in his eyes. “Not a day went by in those years when I didn’t think about you.”

Jamie believed him. But he still had questions. “So if you felt that way, why didn’t you get in contact with any of us?”

“I didn’t want to disrupt your lives any more than they’d already been disrupted,” Dan told him with sincerity.

“You wouldn’t have disrupted them, you idiot,” Jamie cried. “You would have only made them better.”

Dan sighed again. “Yeah, well...” His voice trailed off. At the time, he’d been convinced he was doing the right thing.

And then, of course, there had been the guilt. That had all but paralyzed him. It had definitely kept him from returning.

Jamie took pity on him. “Water under the bridge,” he told Dan. “Just water under the bridge. What really matters is that you’re here now,” he said, sounding genuinely happy. “Makes my suffering through the taping of that program worth all the agony,” he added with a warm laugh. “Oh damn, where are my manners? Can I offer you something to eat or drink?”

“No, I’m fine,” Dan told him. “Just seeing you again after all this time is all I need.”

“Speaking of need,” Jamie said, “I need you to fill me in.”

“On what?”

“On what you’ve been doing these last twelve years,” Jamie said.

Dan blew out a long breath. He knew he owed Jamie that much. Still, going over that ground would bring up memories he wanted left buried and undisturbed.

He looked at Jamie, wondering where to start. “That, my brother, is a tall order.”

The Maverick's Return

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