Читать книгу Gracie - Marie Maxwell - Страница 13

‘Well? How do I look?’ Gracie asked nervously, as Ruby stepped back after pulling up the zip on her wedding dress. ‘Is it okay? I feel a bit like the fairy on the Christmas tree. I just don’t look like me, do I?’

As Gracie spoke she twirled round on the spot in front of the full-length mirror in her bedroom, making her skirt rise and fall. Her freshly lightened hair was curled and carefully pinned up under her shoulder-length veil making her neck look long and graceful, her minimal make-up was carefully applied, and her stiff new satin shoes were on her feet.

As Gracie stared at herself in the mirror she found it hard to believe that she was the bride and that it was actually her wedding day. She had spent so many years seeing a plain kid in the mirror that it was hard to accept that everything had changed for her.

It was the day she had dreamed of, especially after the trauma of being abandoned by the man who was the father of her illegitimate baby, the baby she had been forced to give up.

Archie Cooper had declared his undying love, charmed her, said he wanted to marry her, bedded her and then disappeared without trace, leaving a fearful and disillusioned Gracie to face the consequences alone, with her dreams in tatters.

But that was all in the past, everything was in the past; she now had Sean Donnelly, a nice young man who loved her and wanted to marry her. Her wedding day had finally arrived.

‘Oh bloody hell, Gracie Grace! You look lovely – all grown up and sophisticated. You look just like a model bride in Woman’s Own or even a movie star! You’re so beautiful.’

‘Beautiful is pushing it, Rubes …’ Gracie laughed.

Ruby clutched her hands to her mouth and looked ready to cry as her friend stopped moving and stood with her arms held out, like a ballerina. The wedding dress was mid-calf length with a fitted silk bodice that was darted and shaped to make the most of Gracie’s figure; it had a full skirt carefully crafted from silk and lace, with a net underskirt to make it stand out and a neckline that was scooped and edged with white satin, as were the fashionable elbow-length sleeves. Her short white lace gloves were the finishing touch to the bride’s ensemble.

All the dresses, Gracie’s and both bridesmaids’ had been home-made by Babs Wheaton, Ruby’s wartime foster mother who was a skilled home dressmaker, as a wedding gift. Gracie was beyond grateful because she could never have afforded something so classy herself.

Ruby’s bridesmaid’s outfit was the same design as Gracie’s but was pale pink satin without the lace or the net underskirts so it hung straight down and fluttered around her calves; Maggie’s was almost the same, but hers was full-length and in a design more suited to a child. Each dress had been carefully made with each person in mind and they all complemented each other.

Gracie turned every which way in front of the mirror as she tried hard to recognise herself. No matter how many years had passed, inside she still felt like the plain child with spots and greasy hair who was never really part of anything, either in school or out. The child who was always called names and excluded from playtime games. Now she was looking at a beautiful young woman who didn’t look in the least bit like the Gracie McCabe she knew.

‘I know I should feel a bit of a hypocrite walking down the aisle in white, what with everything that’s gone on but what could I do? Sean’s family expect it, the virgin bride and all that.’ Gracie frowned as she continued to twist and turn, and study herself from top to toe. ‘I wonder why it’s still the way? My mother is horrified I’m going to wed in church in white but then she’d have died of shame if I turned up in cream. It’s so old-fashioned!’ Gracie pulled a silly face.

‘It’s tradition, I suppose, and the way their generation sees things,’ Ruby said.

‘I suppose. And talking of tradition, where’s my miniature bridesmaid?’ Gracie looked around. ‘Where’s Maggie gone?’

‘She’s already downstairs with Aunty Babs and your dad. She was jumping around like a flea on a flannel with excitement.’ Ruby smiled. ‘She looks so pretty and I’m so proud of her. Sometimes when I see her it’s hard minding my words. Johnnie says the same; she’s our daughter but not a soul except us knows. But she’s having the best upbringing with George and Babs so we just have to be grateful and wait until Maggie is old enough to be told the truth. I hope she understands. We were so young, we had no choice.’

‘You were brave enough to make the right choice, Rubes, you didn’t know Johnnie was going to come back into your life, and Babs and George are fantastic parents to her.’

‘It still hurts, though’, Ruby said. ‘But enough of that, today is about being happy, it’s about you being happy and having a wonderful wedding day’.

She walked over to the open French window and looked out.

‘Well, Gracie Grace, this is it. It’s just you and me up here now. The guests should all be at the church by now and our cars are already outside, all polished and decked out in ribbons and just waiting for us all. Come and look, and it’s such a sunny day …’

As she spoke Ruby went out onto the balcony. Gracie joined her and they both looked down at the cars below.

‘Looks like it’s time to go to the church then, before I get my dress all mucky – you know what I’m like,’ Gracie laughed. ‘A bit of rust from the railings would show up a treat on this dress …’

Ruby didn’t laugh and she didn’t look around, but stayed where she was, looking out towards the horizon.

‘You know it’s not too late to change your mind, really it’s not …’ she said cautiously, without looking at her friend. Her expression was serious for the first time that day. ‘I know you said you don’t want to talk about it again but I have to say this: please, please, please don’t do the wrong thing, just because it’s suddenly the day. You know what they say: marry in haste, repent at leisure. If Sean’s not the one then you’re making a mistake.’

‘Oh of course it’s too bloody late to change my mind, it’s far too late! Can you imagine if I jilted Sean at the altar? I’d have to leave the country straight away! The wedding is planned, and the honeymoon and the flat is ready and waiting, how could I back out of all that?’ Gracie said, shaking her head slowly. ‘And anyway, I don’t want to. This is what I want – a husband, a home, a baby – and I know I’ll get all that with Sean …’

‘It doesn’t have to be with him though, does it? I mean, if it’s someone else you want, if someone else is the right one then is that fair on Sean?’ Ruby persisted.

Gracie shrugged. As far as she was concerned she had made the decision to marry Sean long ago and she was going to stick with it. She had to.

She may have thought Edward Woodfield was the man of her dreams but she was well aware that she didn’t actually know him, not in the way she knew Sean. And even without knowing him, Gracie could see that they were from such different backgrounds and class that even if anything were to happen between them, there was no chance his family would ever agree to them marrying.

It just couldn’t happen and it wouldn’t work, not the way it did with Sean.

‘Oh, Ruby,’ Gracie sighed. ‘I’ve not made the decision in haste, I’ve thought of nothing else. But I’ve known Sean for years, he’s a good man and I’m sure I’m doing the right thing for both of us. We’re the same kind of people: we’re both ordinary and we match. I had a bit of panic the other day, imagining something different but I’m over it now. It was so stupid. I was getting ideas above my station, as my mother would say.’

The two women smiled and waved down to the group of neighbours who were gathering on the pavement outside the hotel, all there to see the bride off. Lots of people that they knew so well, even the small staff from the hotel were out there, waiting.

‘Don’t go putting yourself down, Gracie. No one is better than you and there’s no man too good for you, not even the one whose name you told me not to say!’

Gracie and Ruby moved back from the railings and faced each other.

‘Nice of you to say it, Rubes, but that one was definitely way out of my league. A country house and a London flat and living most of the time in Africa? Can you just imagine me out in Africa? None of that is me, is it? I’m just a local girl who’s been nowhere and done nothing. I couldn’t even keep up with him in a proper conversation.’ She smiled and shook her head. ‘So, let’s go and get on with my wedding day. It’s been long enough coming! Everyone thought I was going to be an old maid.’

‘Oh Gracie, this is just so final. Are you really sure you’re doing the right thing? You can still change your mind …’ Ruby said hesitantly.

‘I’m sure. It was my very own Brief Encounter, like in the film. it was me being daft and getting carried away as usual, but now I’m back where I should be.’ Gracie grinned. ‘You know what a nutcase I can be. Well, this time I’m being sensible: I’m going to marry Sean’.

‘Okay,’ Ruby said with a break in her voice. ‘I suppose if that’s what you really want then it’s time to get down those stairs and off to the church.’

They made their way down to the ground floor, where Gracie’s father was waiting with Babs and George Wheaton and a very excited young Maggie.

‘Can we go now? Pleeease, I want to do what a bridesmaid does …’ the child asked, jumping from foot to foot with excitement. At eight years old, she was tall for her age and confident beyond her years.

‘Yes, we’re going in two minutes. I’m just going to get the flowers and then it’s off to the church,’ Ruby said, looking wistfully at the little girl. ‘You look so beautiful, Maggie. Absolutely beautiful!’

When she came back she handed Gracie her bouquet, gave Maggie her posy and held her own in front of her.

‘Right, Miss Impatient, to the cars …’ she said.

Gracie watched her friend smile at the child, while at the same time blinking to hold back the tears that were building. She knew it wasn’t because of the wedding but because of Maggie, the daughter Ruby could not acknowledge.

The daughter who had been born at the same time as Gracie’s own baby, eight years ago.

With her emotions heightened anyway by the stress of her wedding day, it made Gracie tearful to think of her own baby, the beautiful little boy whom she knew nothing about. But she was determined not to let anything spoil the day so she looked at her father, who was standing slightly away from the group, and forced a smile. ‘Come on, Dad, let’s get to the church. I don’t want to be late.’

Her father smiled and patted her hand. ‘You look beautiful, my little Gracie, I hope you’ll both be as happy as me and your mother, and remember, it’s not all going to be easy, marriage is give and take …’

Gracie wanted to say ‘you give and she takes,’ but she just smiled at him.

The Wheatons and the bridesmaids went ahead to the hotel car which was parked outside, in front of the bridal car. Ruby and Maggie got into the back seat as George Wheaton skilfully moved himself from his wheelchair into the passenger side, leaving his wife to fold the chair and put it in the back, before getting into the driver’s seat.

Everyone waved excitedly as they drove off, leaving just Gracie and her father on the steps, waiting for the right moment. Then, with her arm in his, they walked down to the waiting car where Dr Wheaton’s new driver stood beside the open door, waiting to help them in. As Gracie gathered up her skirt to avoid it creasing or getting caught in the door so a ripple of applause rang out from the people lining the pavement, making her blush. She paused, glanced around and self-consciously waved back.

Then someone caught her eye.

Over the top of their heads she thought for a moment she had seen him standing behind the small group on the nearby corner looking in her direction, but when she looked again, whoever it was had moved.

For a few moments her chest palpitated so much she feared that the fitted bodice on her dress would burst open. Surely he wouldn’t do that? Surely he wouldn’t come here? She asked herself in panic as she looked around again scanning every face, but there was no sign. She wondered fleetingly if Edward Woodfield had come to persuade her to go with him, to jilt Sean at the altar and run away with him to Africa. So many different thoughts flashed through her mind at that moment that she had to shake her head to rid herself of them. She looked all around her once more, just in case, and then climbed into the car to go to the church to marry Sean Donnelly.

Just fifteen minutes later, with the guests all seated and the priest at the altar, Gracie was standing in the cool of the church porch, waiting for the organist to begin playing and give her the cue to start walking. She gripped her father’s arm tight and glanced round at Ruby, who winked reassuringly.

‘Here we go, time to start walking …’ her chief bridesmaid said, as the first notes of ‘Here Comes The Bride’ echoed throughout the church.

Ruby and Maggie followed as Gracie walked down the aisle on her father’s arm. She looked straight ahead and walked confidently but when she got closer and saw Sean standing at the altar with his back to her the enormity of what she was about to do hit her and she was suddenly terrified.

As she looked at the friends and family standing either side of the aisle waiting for her to reach the altar and for the ceremony to begin, it hit her that there really was no going back. This was the moment when her life would change forever. Her chest started pounding again and her feet felt like lead weights in her dainty wedding shoes.

She thought about the signet ring nestling in her jewellery box and felt sick. She had left it too late.

Doubts and uncertainties swelled inside her and she wanted to turn around and run straight out of the church but she didn’t, instead she took the last few steps until she reached Sean’s side. She turned and handed her bouquet to Ruby, who was one step behind her. As her father stepped back, Sean turned to look at her. He smiled widely and whispered, ‘Oh my lord, but you look so beautiful, Gracie …’

Gracie blinked hard and met his gaze. She was there to marry Sean in front of their friends and families and she was sure that was the right thing to do so she forced her doubts away and smiled back. Sean Donnelly knew her and loved her, and that was the most important thing in the world to her at that moment.

Edward Woodfield was a stranger and a nice fantasy man to daydream about in her dotage but Sean Donnelly was the reality, she knew.