Читать книгу Her Secret Cowboy - Marin Thomas - Страница 10

Chapter Two

Will sat on the sofa in the bunkhouse and waited for Marsha to arrive. He’d gotten home from work an hour ago and had showered and dressed in clean clothes. His chest felt as if a fifty-pound anvil rested on his rib cage and drawing air into his lungs took major effort.

He glanced at his watch. She was late.

Marsha had texted him last night, asking to meet alone this afternoon. At first he’d been puzzled, wondering how she’d gotten his number, then realized all she’d had to do was ask her father. Both Ben and Will’s cell numbers were on the construction contract with the church.

“You’re going to burn a hole in that wall if you stare at it any harder,” Buck said.

Will studied his brother who sat at the table drinking coffee. “I thought you were working today.” This was the first exchange he’d had with Buck since their confrontation over Marsha’s letter.

“Troy took off early to drive to Tucson for a car show.”

“Heck of a way to run a business.”

Buck carried his mug to the sink. “One day I’ll start my own auto-repair shop.”

“You’ve been saying that for the past two years.” Porter flipped through the pages of an American Cowboy magazine.

“You don’t have a job right now so you don’t get to comment.” Buck swatted Porter upside the head.

“Hey, don’t mess with the hair.” Porter smoothed his hand over his golden-brown locks. “Rodeo is a job.”

“It’s employment only when you win, which you don’t do often,” Buck said.

Will went back to staring at the wall. Not even his brothers’ bickering distracted him from the feeling of impending doom that had nagged him since Marsha’s text.

“Mack’s too busy at the dude ranch to rodeo on weekends,” Porter said. “I need a new roping partner.” He tore a page from the magazine, wadded it into a ball and threw it at Will, pinging him in the shoulder. “Want to team rope with me this Saturday at the Midway Rodeo?”

Will didn’t rodeo much anymore, because he often ended up working seven days a week to finish a construction job. “What about horses?”

“Greg Patterson said he’d bring an extra pair if we give him a cut of the winnings.”

“You that confident we’re gonna win?” Will asked.

Porter chuckled. “No.”

“Count me in.” Will needed an outlet for his anxiety.

The rumble of a car engine drifted through the bunkhouse walls and Will bolted to the window. A red Honda SUV pulled into the yard.

“Let me see.” Porter pushed his way between Buck and Will. “When did she get boobs?”

Will gaped at the woman who stepped from the car. This was not the Marsha Bugler he’d taken to the prom his senior year.

“Show some respect, Porter.” Buck elbowed his brother. “She’s the pastor’s daughter.”

Will soaked in the sight of his son’s mother. Marsha was tall, and the tight, faded jeans and fancy cowgirl boots emphasized her long legs. Shoot, he couldn’t recall what shoes she’d worn to the prom, never mind the color of her dress. Golden curls fell over her shoulders and the black V-neck T-shirt showed off her generous breasts. The curls were familiar but not the boobs—their groping in the pickup had been done with most of their clothes on.

“They might be fake,” Porter said.

Marsha stumbled when she walked up the porch steps. The way her breasts jiggled settled the matter—they were real.

“I heard that some women go through a second puberty and—”

“Get lost, Porter,” Will said.

Isi had taken the boys into town earlier and there was no one to answer Marsha’s knock on the farmhouse door. She shielded her eyes against the afternoon sun and stared in the direction of the bunkhouse.

“Aren’t you going to go out there?” Buck asked.

“I’m going.” Will stepped outside, slamming the door behind him. The noise drew Marsha’s attention and for the first time in over fourteen years they made eye contact.

Aware Buck and Porter spied through the window and Conway stood in the barn watching, Will ignored the urge to flee and met Marsha in the middle of the yard.

“Hello, Will.”

Her voice rang with confidence and the directness of her gaze knocked him off balance. The woman standing before him was nothing like the high school girl who’d barely conversed with him. “Marsha.”

“Thank you for agreeing to meet with me.”

It wasn’t every day a man found out he was a father. Did she have any idea how her letter had turned his life upside down? Her expression remained neutral, but she clenched and unclenched her hands. She was more nervous than she let on. Good. She should be.

“I’m sure you have questions,” she said.

“A few.”

She squared her shoulders. He hadn’t remembered her being spirited—only shy and studious. She’d been the complete opposite of the girls he’d chased in school. The wild girls had been the only ones willing to date a guy like him.

“If you expect me to apologize—” her eyes blazed “—I’m not going to.”

She might as well have slapped him across the face with her stinging statement. Of course the pastor’s daughter considered herself above needing forgiveness.

“I had my reasons, Will, whether they were right or wrong, they were mine and I don’t regret keeping Ryan. Nothing you say or do can make me feel guilty for not aborting my son.”

“Your son?”

A pink blush spread across her cheeks. “Our son.”

“What about hiding Ryan from me? Feel any guilt over that?”

She lowered her gaze. “Is there somewhere we can talk in private?”

“The front porch.” Away from his brothers’ prying eyes. They walked past the house in silence, the intermittent breeze carrying the scent of Marsha’s perfume beneath Will’s nose—a light, citrusy smell that made him want to take off her clothes. He ground his teeth and silently cursed himself for finding her attractive.

When they reached the front yard, he spoke. “Why did you suddenly decide to tell me about Ryan?” He doubted her reason had to do with guilt, otherwise she’d have come forward years ago.

“My father’s ill.”

Stagecoach was a small town. Will’s boss happened to be a member of the Community Mission Church and had told him about the pastor’s health issues. “What does your father’s prostate cancer have to do with being truthful with me?”

“Ryan’s very close to his grandfather and when he’s gone...” She cleared her throat. “Ryan won’t have a man to look up to.”

Will was the last person on earth who should be a role model. Feeling as if Marsha had backed him into a corner, he lashed out—more from fear than anger. “Would you have ever told me about Ryan if your father hadn’t become ill?”

She stared him in the eye, which wasn’t difficult considering she was at least five feet ten inches in her boots and he was six feet in his boots. “You told me to get an abortion. You said under no circumstances did you want to be a father.”

“I was eighteen, Marsha.” He paced in front of her. “That’s what a typical eighteen-year-old guy tells the girl he got pregnant.” He hadn’t suggested giving the baby up for adoption because he was afraid he’d be just like his old man.

“I was eighteen, too. Old enough to make up my own mind about whether or not I was ready to be a mother.”

She’d avoided answering his question, so he answered it for her. “You wouldn’t have told me about Ryan if your father hadn’t become ill.”

“I would have told you...eventually.”

“You’re a liar. Buck forced your hand.” When she didn’t respond, Will said, “My brother should have told me right away when he found out.”

“I’m not here to talk about what Buck should or shouldn’t have done. I was prepared to tell Ryan about you years ago, but he didn’t show any interest in learning who his father was.”

“None at all?” The question escaped his mouth in a choked whisper.

She shook her head.

Stunned, Will closed his eyes as a memory better left buried resurrected itself. When he’d turned twelve, he’d wanted to know more about his father and had pestered his mother for information. She’d brushed off Will’s questions, but he’d badgered her until one afternoon she’d dragged him by the shirt collar to the car and drove him to Tucson.

She never said a word the entire trip until she stopped in front of a single-story home with toys strewn across the yard.

“Your father lives in that house.”

“What’s his name?”

“Henry Blythe.”

“Can I ring the doorbell?” he’d asked.

“It’s up to you.”

Will was cocky enough to believe he could handle anything, so he strolled up to the house and rang the bell. A woman answered the door and two little kids poked their heads out from behind her legs. “Is Mr. Blythe home?” Will asked.

“Yes, who are you?”

“Willie Cash, ma’am.”

“Wait here.” She shut the door in his face. He stood on the porch so long his legs became tired and he sat on the stoop. His mother waited with him—never leaving the car. After an hour Will rang the doorbell again. And again. And again. The sun set. And he waited. And waited. And waited.

Finally the door opened.

A man stood in the shadows. Will couldn’t make out his features, but his voice sounded hoarse and mean. “Go away, kid.”

Shaking in his shoes, Will asked, “Are you my father?”

“With a mother like yours, you’re not good enough to be anyone’s kid.” The door slammed in his face.

From that day forward Will hadn’t given Henry Blythe a second thought, but deep down the man’s rejection had left its mark. Will accepted that he was no good because of who his mother was—a woman who’d borne seven children—six of them fathered by different men. That Ryan had never been interested in knowing Will reminded him of the shame he carried.

Feeling like a cornered animal Will lashed out, “What do you want from me?”

Marsha backpedaled. “If you don’t want to meet your son, say so and we won’t interfere in your life.”

“It’s easy to paint me the bad guy, isn’t it?” He pointed his finger. “You want everything on your terms and you expect me to be grateful that you’re allowing me to see my son.”

“You don’t know what it was like to be in my shoes—eighteen, pregnant and...” She rubbed her temples as if she had a headache. “I didn’t come here to argue with you. Go ahead and hate me. I don’t care.”

Will might have believed her if her voice hadn’t cracked.

“What matters now is doing what’s best for Ryan,” she said.

Damn, he admired her spunk. To his knowledge his mother had never stood up to any of his siblings’ fathers the way Marsha stood up to Will. Maybe the outcome of his confrontation with Henry Blythe would have been different if his mother had accompanied him to the door that afternoon.

“Do you want to meet your son or not?”

“Of course.” The words sounded sure, but deep down Will was terrified.

“When?”

“There’s a rodeo in Midway on Saturday. I told Porter I’d team rope with him. You and Ryan could meet us there.”

“What time?”

“One o’clock,” he said.

“Fine.”

“Are you going to tell Ryan about me before Saturday?”

“Yes.”

He’d like to be a fly on the wall during that conversation. “What have your parents got to say about all this?”

“I didn’t tell them you were Ryan’s father.”

Now he knew why the pastor had never shown up at the pecan farm with a shotgun, demanding he do right by his daughter.

“My mother suspected it was you a while ago.” The corner of her mouth curved upward. “Ryan looks like you.”

Her words barely registered with Will as he stared at her mouth. Blame it on his confused emotional state but right now all he wanted to do was taste Marsha’s kiss. Why he’d want to kiss the woman who’d betrayed him was a mystery, but there was no denying her presence was causing a spike in his testosterone levels.

“Are you okay?” She frowned.

“I’m fine.” Pull it together, man. “Your mother didn’t share her suspicions with your father?”

“No.”

He didn’t envy Marsha the task of breaking the news to the pastor—the man had never held the Cash family in high esteem. Working at the church next week would prove interesting.

When they walked to Marsha’s car, Will said, “In case no one told you...I work for Ben Wallace’s construction company and we’re—”

“I heard.” She opened the driver-side door. “I’m sorry if I came off... I didn’t mean to be...” She nibbled her lip. “I’m worried about my father.”

Unlike Will, Marsha had a good relationship with her parents and he sympathized with her having to deal with the pastor’s illness. “See you Saturday,” he said. Her car had no sooner disappeared from sight than all three of his brothers appeared at Will’s side.

“Well?” Conway said. “Are you positive you’re Ryan’s father?”

“Yes.”

“What are you going to do?” Porter asked.

“Marsha’s bringing him to the rodeo on Saturday.”

“Want me to tag along?” Buck asked.

“No, thanks.” The last thing he needed was to overwhelm Ryan with all his uncles. “Porter, we’re taking separate vehicles. I’ll meet you in Midway.”

“Whatever works best for you.” Porter nodded toward his truck. “Buck and I are heading into Yuma to grocery shop. You got any requests?”

Will shook his head. Once his brothers peeled out of the yard, Conway spoke. “You okay?”

“I don’t know the first thing about being a father.”

“I didn’t either,” Conway said.

“How’d you figure it out?”

“You learn as you go.”

That sounded risky.

“My advice is to not push yourself on Ryan. Let him call the shots.”

“Sounds easy enough.”

“It’s not. And as soon as you think you understand your kid, they do something that takes you by surprise.” Conway retreated to the barn, leaving Will alone with his misgivings.

* * *

“RYAN, LET’S TAKE a walk,” Marsha said after supper. Her father had retreated to the living room to nap in his recliner and her mother was pulling weeds in the garden.

“I don’t want to take a walk. I’m reading the Land of Varagon.” Ryan had gotten hooked on a new fantasy series after one of the kids in his after-school book club recommended it. There were twelve stories in the series and Ryan was reading number six. She’d kept track of the characters and plots through the fourth book, then things had become confusing and she’d given up.

“I need to talk to you. It’s important.” She waited by the door.

Ryan set his e-reader on the kitchen table and they walked through the garage then along the path that led to the church.

“How do you feel about meeting your father this summer?” When Ryan remained silent, she said, “You’ve never asked about him.”

“I didn’t ask, because I thought you didn’t want me to know who he was.”

Shocked, she put the brakes on. “Why would you think I wouldn’t want you to know who your father was?”

“You never talked about him and he never came to our house.” Ryan shrugged. “I thought he was a bad person.”

Dear God what had she done? “I’m sorry, Ryan. I assumed your silence meant you weren’t interested in getting to know him.” As soon as she said the words, a sharp pain struck her in the chest—guilt. How dare she lay the blame at Ryan’s feet when her reluctance to include Will in their lives had to do with her own insecurities and nothing to do with wanting to prevent Will from hurting Ryan.

“It’s not a big deal, Mom. Lots of kids in my school have only one parent.”

“Since we’re spending the entire summer with Grandpa and Grandma I thought you should know that your father lives in Stagecoach.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“How come he never wanted to see me when we came to Grandma and Grandpa’s?”

“Your father didn’t know you existed until recently.”

Her throat tightened as she envisioned the wary look on Will’s face when they’d met today. It was clear her decision to keep Ryan a secret had wounded him deeply. Then she reminded herself that over a decade had passed since she’d revealed her pregnancy to him and his reaction then had been very different.

“Why didn’t you want him to know about me?” Ryan asked.

“I didn’t think he was ready to be a father. We’d both just graduated from high school.”

“Does he want to meet me or are you forcing him to?”

“Of course he wants to meet you. He’d like for you and I to go to a rodeo and watch him compete this Saturday.”

“I don’t like rodeos.”

“Since when?”

“Since Grandma and Grandpa took me to one when I was six.”

“I’d forgotten about that.” When Ryan had returned from the event all he’d told her was that it was too noisy and the place stunk like poop.

They arrived at the church and Ryan held the door open for her. They sat in the pew at the front of the sanctuary.

“Is he any good at rodeo?” Ryan asked.

“I don’t know. We’ll find out on Saturday.”

“Do I have to go?”

“Yes.” It would be easy to give in to him, but she held firm.

“Mom? What if I don’t like him?”

Marsha smiled—she’d always been drawn to Will’s brooding personality and good looks. He’d been the quintessential bad boy, the kid with a troubled past, and she’d been the sweet daughter of the local pastor who’d believed she could save him.

“Why are you smiling?” Ryan’s question ended her trip down memory lane.

“I bumped into your father in the school hallway once. All my books went flying.”

“Did he get mad?”

“No, he helped me pick them up.” Then the next day when they’d passed in the hall again she’d said “Hi” but Will had looked right through her.

“You’re weird, Mom.”

“I know.” She stared into Ryan’s blue eyes—the same blue as hers. His light brown hair and square jaw were all Will. A wavy lock fell across his forehead and she brushed it away even though he didn’t like her fussing over him. “Don’t mention meeting your dad to Grandpa.”

“Grandpa doesn’t know who my dad is?”

“No.” She’d taught Ryan from an early age to always tell the truth and she was ashamed that she hadn’t modeled the same behavior.

“What’s his name?”

“Will Cash.”

Ryan’s eyes grew round. “Is he Buck’s brother?”

“Will is Buck’s older brother.”

“Am I supposed to call him Dad?”

“That’s up to you.”

“Is he smart?”

Marsha winced. Ryan’s high IQ skewed the way he viewed the world and people. “I’ve told you before that not all intelligence comes from book learning.”

“Did he go to college?”

“I don’t know.” Marsha didn’t think Will had.

“What’s his job?”

“He’s a construction worker. As a matter of fact, he’s helping to build the new addition on Grandpa’s church.”

Ryan’s eyes widened. “I’m going to see him every day?”

“Probably, but he’ll be busy working.”

“I don’t have to help, do I?”

“I hope you’ll pitch in if your grandfather or father asks you to.” The conversation needed to end, before it spiraled downward. “You’re okay then with going to the rodeo?”

“If I have to.”

You have to.

As they walked to the house, Marsha wondered again if she was doing the right thing in bringing father and son together. Ryan was nothing like Will might envision for a son and Will was nothing like Ryan might envision for a father.