Читать книгу The Baby They Longed For - Marion Lennox, Marion Lennox - Страница 10

SHE SHOULD HAVE moved on. Maybe she should have started a new life altogether, but she’d already been there, done that, got the T-shirt.

A two-month break had changed a lot of things. But she knew she could move forward in Currawong.

During the whole time she’d been convalescing, the hospital staff, the Currawong mums she’d delivered, sometimes seemingly the whole community, had kept in touch as much as she wanted.

Currawong felt like home.

There was the hitch that Noah McPherson would still be living in the doctors’ quarters. He’d been with her during two of the worst moments in her life. His presence made her feel...vulnerable.

She’d slapped him when he’d been nothing but a messenger for Gavin’s cowardly retreat. For that she felt embarrassment and guilt.

He’d saved her life, but that also meant he’d been with her when she’d lost her baby. He’d seen her raw and exposed.

But he’d been kind. He’d also been professional and that was the way their relationship needed to go forward.

She’d written him a polite note, apologising once again for the slap and thanking him for his medical intervention.

During the last couple of months, she’d occasionally found herself thinking about him. His concern at the wedding, so harshly rewarded by her over-the-top reaction. His skill and his kindness when she’d lost her baby.

The feel of his hand...

Yeah, and that was entirely unprofessional. Professional was what she needed to be.

Moving on... The new, professional Addie.

She unlocked the door to the doctors’ quarters and tugged her crimson, sparkly wheelie suitcase inside. Tugged? Not so much. This beauty wheeled at a touch. She let it go and watched in satisfaction as it freewheeled halfway across the sitting room. Nice. Her luggage was part of her new look, her revamp, her declaration to the world that she was moving on. This community needed a dedicated obstetrician and that’s what they’d get.

Albeit a sparkly one.

She hadn’t gone completely sparkly. Just a touch. She was wearing a rainbow-coloured sun frock, cinched at the waist. She’d let her hair fly free. Her now silver-blonde hair was streaked with soft amethyst streaks. She was wearing oversized amethyst earrings and a single drop necklace, and her brand-new glasses had a hint of amethyst in their silver rims.

She checked herself in the mirror above the hallstand and was pleased to approve.

And then she saw Noah. The fly in her ointment. This place was home...but Noah? A ghost from her past?

Her intention to stay completely professional flew out the window. Memories of that appalling wedding... Memories of her loss...

He’d signed on for six months. That meant he was here for four more months.

Maybe it was time she got herself her own place to live. The convenience of being right at the hospital for obstetric emergencies had kept her here, but there were alternatives.

‘Addie...’ He was dressed in chinos and a short-sleeved shirt, with a stethoscope dangling from his side pocket. He looked vaguely rumpled, as if he’d had a long day.

Tuesday was a normal day for scheduled surgery, she remembered. He’d probably have kept that routine, and such a day was often hard for a surgeon. Schedules didn’t take into account unscheduled stuff that happened in a town like this.

‘Hi,’ she managed, trying not to think he looked tired. Or...gorgeous? How inappropriate was that?

‘Welcome back.’

‘Thank you. I’m pleased to be back.’ She sounded absurdly formal. They both did.

‘You look...well.’

So much for all the money she’d spent on her transformation. Well? But, then, what did she expect?

While she’d been convalescing she’d been in touch with a couple of friends from back in Sydney. Noah’s name had...just happened...to come up. Apparently there’d been a vitriolic end to his marriage. Was that why Noah had turned his back on his ascendant career to come to Currawong? Loss? Grief?

She thought fleetingly of Noah’s wife. Ex-wife? Even in a wheelchair Rebecca had looked stunning. In comparison, well was as good as Addie could expect.

‘I am well,’ she managed.

‘Can I give you a hand with your luggage?’

At least here was safe ground. ‘No need,’ she said airily. She walked across the room, turned the suitcase until it was facing her bedroom door and kicked it again. A little too hard and a little off course. It zoomed across the polished boards, slammed into the bookcase and a vase toppled off and smashed onto the floor.

Silence.

‘I never liked that vase anyway,’ Addie said at last, looking down at the mess of broken crockery.

‘Designer ware,’ Noah agreed. ‘Supplied by Bland R Us. I’m sure we can find something less sterile in Theatre.’

‘Maybe a bedpan with cactus planted inside...’

‘It’d have more personality,’ he agreed, and she came close to a chuckle. And then she took a deep breath. The time had come. The time was now. ‘I have a confession.’

‘A confession?’

‘I... We may have to put away...some stuff.’ She looked down at the floor rug and grimaced. ‘Like this. This has to go.’

‘I can understand the vase getting in the way of your luggage,’ he said cautiously. ‘But...the rug?’

‘I’m afraid it’ll get eaten.’

More silence. And then... ‘Uh-oh,’ Noah said.

‘I know I should have asked you.’ She was talking too fast, her tongue tripping over the words. ‘I know the lease says no pets and I thought...well, to be honest, I knew if I rang the hospital board and asked they’d say no—Morvena will have a fit!—but if I presented them with a fait accompli then they’ll have to wear it. They haven’t found anyone to replace me, have they?’

‘Locums,’ he said, frowning. ‘They’re not trying to replace you.’

‘I doubt they can.’ She said it with satisfaction. ‘The good thing about working in such a remote area is they need to put up with who they can get.’

‘Like me,’ Noah said, and Addie cast him a suspicious look. If she didn’t know better she’d think she heard laughter.

Actually, there might be laughter. Noah McPherson was way over-qualified for the job here. That Currawong Bay had his services for six months was amazing.

Six months.

Four more months of sharing a house...

‘What have you done?’ And there was no mistaking the laughter now. Those deep grey eyes were twinkling straight at her. She couldn’t help responding. She smiled back and suddenly she felt as she had when she’d walked from the hair salon with her hair coloured. Like the world was opening up before her. With colour?

Well, that was dumb. There was no way Noah McPherson should have that effect on anyone.

‘You’ll have to see.’ She crossed to her bedroom door and pushed her badly behaved suitcase inside.

‘You have something that can eat mats in your suitcase?’

‘I... No.’ She kicked off her high heels because, okay, she’d made a statement and she was home now. It was time to move on to the next thing. But she was home...with Noah?

Daisy would help. Hopefully. Nothing like a Daisy to ease tension. ‘You want to see?’ she asked.

‘I want to see.’

‘Okay,’ she said, striving to sound nonchalant and not anxious at all. ‘Let’s go meet Daisy.’

* * *

Daisy was quite possibly the cutest golden retriever puppy Noah had ever seen.

Addie had obviously decided to unpack before introducing Daisy to her new home. Daisy was therefore currently tied to a veranda post surrounded by dog bed, dog bowls, dog toys...

And oldies.

The veranda was the preferred snoozing place for the residents of the nursing-home section of the hospital. It overlooked the sea and was protected from the prevailing winds. The big wicker chairs were usually filled with snoozers, soaking up the warmth of late summer.

No one was snoozing now. There was a cluster of oldies surrounding a pint-sized bundle of pup.

Was there anything cuter than a golden retriever puppy? Noah didn’t think so, and Daisy wasn’t about to change his mind. She looked about ten or twelve weeks old, and she was wriggling all over. Still tied to her veranda post—the oldies obviously hadn’t ventured to untie her, although they were clearly longing to—she was tugging to the length of her leash so she could wiggle and lick and greet as many new friends as fitted into her orbit.

His first thought? Sophie would love this puppy.

No. He shoved the thought away, hard. Four months to wait...

‘Oh!’ Addie was sounding dismayed as she hurried forward toward the clustered oldies. ‘I didn’t mean to disturb you. You guys are supposed to be asleep.’

They weren’t asleep now. Without exception, the residents of the nursing home had migrated to the doctors’ house end of the veranda. Bill Harrison, ex farmer, was crouched on the ground, enticing Daisy to crawl onto knees that had been destroyed by eighty years of heaving hay bales. But it was doubtful if he was even feeling his knees. He was intent on unclipping Daisy’s leash and his attention was on the pup.

‘There’s all the sleep in the world where I’m headed,’ he growled now. ‘Bugger naps. Where’d you get this one, Addie? She’s a beauty.’

‘She is, isn’t she?’ Addie beamed and plonked herself down on her knees with Bill. ‘I’ve only had her since this morning. I picked her up on the way home, from a breeder in Sydney. I shouldn’t have her here, but I thought you guys might be able to help look after her.’

‘Us?’ It was Ruby May Alderstone, a long-retired schoolteacher, shrivelled from years of rheumatoid arthritis and usually grim from constant pain. But now she was smiling, stooping from her wheelchair to click her fingers to entice Daisy to come to her.

‘Only if you want,’ Addie said.

Daisy launched herself from Bill’s knees to Addie’s, reached up and licked, throat to forehead, a great, slurpy dog kiss, and Addie giggled and held.

And Noah thought, I know why she’s bought this dog.

He still didn’t have a handle on Addie Blair. He’d worked with her occasionally back in Sydney when she’d been a newly qualified obstetrician, engaged to be married to one of his surgical colleagues. He’d thought her plain, mousy, competent. The couple of times she’d been in Theatre with him she hadn’t joined in the general theatre banter. He’d thought her...boring. The fact that she had been engaged to Gavin had cemented that thought.

Then he’d seen her at what was supposed to be her wedding. She’d been beautiful that day, but beautiful in a strange way. It was as if she’d been dressed by others, transformed into a Barbie-type caricature of the real Addie. The boring Addie had still been underneath.

Then she’d slapped him and he’d seen fire behind the bland exterior. For the first time he’d seen spirit.

That spirit had seemed extinguished two months ago—and why wouldn’t it have been? The Addie he’d seen in the hospital bed had seemed like she’d had the life snuffed out of her. He’d felt desperately sorry for her, but there’d been nothing he could do.

But now...she’d done something for herself. Not something. Some things. She’d come back perky and fresh and defiant. Her outfit was a far cry from the sensible Addie he’d first met, but it hadn’t taken her back to the Barbie Addie of her wedding day. Her clothes, her accessories looked like they’d been chosen with care, and chosen...for fun? Her sun dress was fun and flirty. Her hair looked great.

She hadn’t abandoned her glasses, as she’d done for the wedding, but she’d changed them for slightly oversized ones, with silver rims and hints of colour.

She was cuddling the wriggling Daisy and she was laughing and he thought...

Physician, heal thyself?

And then she turned a little and he saw a glimpse of what was behind. She was holding Daisy as if she needed her.

The loss was still with her, then. Disguised, but bone deep.

‘What is that doing here?’

He glanced along the veranda. Uh-oh. Morvena.

Morvena Harris was the nurse administrator of Currawong Hospital. She was well into her sixties but she showed no sign of retirement, or even slowing down. She ran the little hospital with ruthless efficiency, and, it had to be said, with skill. The staff reluctantly respected her. Patients might sometimes feel they were being bossed into recovering but recover they did.

If there was a medical need, Morvena pulled out all stops to make sure her patients lacked nothing, but there was the rub. Her patients. Her hospital. Her rules.

Noah had already had a run-in with her over visiting times. A young mum, a dairy farmer, had been in with appendicitis and the only time her husband had been able to bring his kids to visit had been after milking, late at night. Which was later than the rules stipulated.

‘You can visit your wife, but the children can’t come,’ Morvena had decreed. ‘You can’t guarantee they won’t be noisy.’

Noah had looked at their distress and put his foot down. Morvena still hadn’t forgiven him.

It didn’t make it any better that she was Henry’s mother-in-law. The affable Henry was like putty in his bossy mother-in-law’s hands. What Morvena wanted, Morvena usually got.

Now she was looking at Daisy as if she were a bad smell. A very bad smell. Then she glanced at Noah. He couldn’t wipe the smile off his face fast enough, and her expression darkened. As if suspecting mass insubordination?

‘Who brought that animal onto the premises?’

‘She’s mine.’ Addie looked up at Morvena and smiled, but Noah could see the shakiness behind the smile. This was defiance but defiance could only go so far. ‘Hi, Morvena. This is Daisy. She’s going to live with me.’

‘Not here, she’s not,’ Morvena decreed. ‘Dogs shed. Allergies present a nightmare. You know the rules, Dr Blair.’

‘I’ve already rung a couple of my young mums,’ Addie told her. ‘They’ve offered to organise a roster for runs during the day. She won’t be a problem. We can keep her in the yard behind the doctors’ house.’

‘She can’t live on hospital premises,’ Morvena snapped. ‘The doctors’ accommodation is hospital property. End of story.’

‘Then I’ll find my own apartment.’ She tilted her chin and Noah wondered how many run-ins Addie had had with Morvena in the past. A few, by the look of things. Morvena was looking at Addie with the same kind of belligerence Noah had thought was reserved for him.

But was there fear behind Addie’s defiance? Fear that something else was to be snatched from her?

Something settled inside him, something hard and unassailable. There was little he could do for Addie, but he could do this.

‘She shouldn’t be confined to the doctors’ house yard,’ he said, and Morvena gave a surprised nod of satisfaction.

‘I’m glad you agree. Now—’

‘She needs to be out here.’

‘What—?’

‘Daisy’s a companion dog,’ he said, inexorably. ‘Her place is with patients.’

He was watching the Daisy in question turn from Addie to Ruby. The ex-schoolteacher bent with difficulty so she could pat the soft little ears and Daisy responded by trying to turn a complete circle on the wheelchair footrest. She failed, fell sideways, lay for a stunned moment on the veranda and then looked up and around with what Noah swore was a grin. Like, That was what I meant to do all along. The circle around Daisy convulsed in laughter. A couple of nurses, further down the veranda and obviously on their break, edged up to see.

‘A companion dog...’ Morvena snorted. ‘What nonsense. They have to be trained. That dog—’

‘Was obviously bred to be a companion dog,’ Noah said. ‘And you must have read the literature, Morvena. The effect of a companion dog on depression and anxiety in long-term residents of nursing homes can’t be understated. It’s associated with increased social interaction, increased confidence, decreasing levels of isolation and, most of all, fun.’

‘If we wanted a trained companion dog we’d have organised one,’ she snapped back at him. ‘A proper one. With a proper accredited owner.’

‘And you’d pay for it how?’

There was the rub. This little hospital ran on a shoestring. It might be excellent and well equipped, but there was no money for extras.

‘And you do realise our nursing home advertising brochure is misleading,’ Noah went on, pushing his point hard, while Addie and the elderly residents watched in a certain amount of awe. ‘The brochure clearly states that activities are organised morning and afternoon. Lorna comes every morning to organise excursions and games, but the afternoon, Morvena?’

‘The brochure was printed years ago,’ Morvena snapped.

‘And it’s still being given to potential residents. The people here could sue for false representation.’

There was a shocked hush. Everyone held their breath. Morvena was staring at Noah as if he had two heads. Such defiance was obviously unheard of in her reign.

Addie was staring at him, too, her eyes wide, looking...hornswoggled.

‘Hey, we could, too.’ That was Bert Nanbor, a Vietnam veteran who’d managed life without a leg until a farm accident two years back had seen him lose the other. ‘I came in after reading that brochure and I’ve sat on this veranda bored stupid every afternoon since. And allergies...’ He snorted. ‘This is outside. There’s plenty of fresh air to blow allergies away, and we all have our own rooms. Anyone with allergies doesn’t need to share. But even then... Allergies... Never had ’em in my day. Anyone here got allergies?’

There was a chorus of rebuttal. The nurses up the back were hiding their mouths with their hands. Stifling giggles.

‘And we’ll help you train him, Doc,’ Bert added, turning his attention to Addie. ‘Almost everyone here comes from farms and we know dogs. Bill here used to train working dogs, didn’t you, Bill? This little lass looks smart as paint. We could have her herding sheep in no time.’ And then he grinned. ‘Or herding Mrs Rowbotham’s hens. It’s time those hens learned discipline.’

Addie had been trying to keep a straight face but she lost it now. She chuckled—and Noah glanced across at her and thought... Wow.

The chuckle transformed her. It lit her within.

Had he ever heard her chuckle?

He thought back to the serious colleague he’d worked with before her failed wedding. She’d been sober, conscientious, seemingly almost bowed down by the responsibility of getting things right.

Gavin had told him of the death of her father, and of Gavin’s own father. Apparently they’d been engineers, working on a major bridge construction together. The bridge had collapsed when she and Gavin had been toddlers. According to Gavin, he and Addie had then been practically raised together, their mothers united by common grief.

‘That’s why we’re getting married,’ Gavin had told him, in those last desperate moments of justification, before Gavin had disappeared and left him facing the failed wedding farce that had followed. ‘Addie’s mother has cancer. My mum’s gutted and she needs me to do the right thing. This was meant to keep all of them happy.’

Yeah, right. Good one, Gavin.

He’d lost touch with Addie after the wedding. She’d quietly left the hospital and he’d been caught up in his own worries. But now... The Currawong hospital grapevine—which spread to Noah whether he willed it or not—was good, and Addie had been here for almost three years. But the grapevine didn’t know why—or even how—she’d become pregnant. There was communal disgust that it hadn’t guessed.

In that appalling few moments before surgery, she’d told him she’d used donated sperm. Why? Had the experience with Gavin turned her off men for life?

Conscientious. Boring.

Watching her now... Was there a different Addie underneath?

He turned his attention deliberately back to the pup. What business of his was Addie’s life?

‘You realise Mrs Rowbotham is the hospital housekeeper and weekend cook,’ she was saying, stifling chuckles as she tried to respond to Bert. ‘Eggs from her chooks feed the hospital.’

‘There’s no reason why that’ll change,’ Bert said blithely. ‘If I was their size and I had this pup on my tail, I might lay an egg myself.’

It was too much. Everyone laughed, and Addie’s chuckle was glorious, a lovely, tinkling laugh that seemed...

To be setting something free?

‘You still can’t keep the dog,’ Morvena snapped, sounding driven against the ropes. ‘It’s against the rules.’

Addie’s face fell but Noah thought, No one’s going to mess with that chuckle on my watch.