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Acknowledgments Acknowledgments

Our agent, Gareth Esersky, gets first mention. She saw what this book was—almost before we did—and guided us through the surprisingly complicated process of bringing our relatively simple and straightforward project to print and to the public eye. She never wavered in her encouragement and her belief in the work’s value.

Gareth turned us on to Ilene Segalove. Ilene, an artist and writer of considerable note, made no secret of how taken she was with our project. From her first reading, she knew how to shape the text to make it readable and usable. Her generosity of heart and mind warmed and encouraged us at points when warm and encouraged wasn’t necessarily how we were feeling. Ilene also gave us insight into subtleties of the book’s revolutionary “self-other help” model, which nudged the manuscript in a direction we had not anticipated and much to its improvement.

Working with Central Recovery Press has been a pleasure, and not just for the spirit of the individuals who coached, taught, and mentored us—Valerie Killeen, Janet Ottenweller, and Nancy Schenck—but also for the shared values vital to having this project realized without compromise of ideas and ideals.

Eve Golden’s expertise as a clinician as well as a writer and editor has been essential to our unpacking the psychoanalytic underpinnings of irrelationship. Her relationship with Mark Borg goes back many years, during which she has generously provided not only her talent but also her insightful, affectionate guidance through earlier projects that have culminated in this one.

Sue Kolod of Psychology Today’s blog, “Contemporary Psychoanalysis in Action,” saw to it that irrelationship got its first hearing in cyberspace, and Psychology Today editors Kaja Perina and Jessica Mooney gave us our own blogspace for Irrelationship, providing a much needed opportunity to test the waters with our ideas. Our friend and mentor Hara Estroff Marano, Editor-at-Large at Psychology Today, is a constant source of support and inspiration! We can’t express our thanks enough.

From Mark Borg

My first remembrance of love and gratitude goes to my grandmother, Charlotte Rolland, who, without fail, supported me through the most difficult periods of my life. Without her unconditional love, the outcome of some very difficult times would have been dramatically different from what has turned out. I remember her with love and thankfulness every day.

My mother and stepfather, Charlotte and Jon Rysanek, have been loving and supportive all my life—sometimes when I didn’t make it easy for them. My father, Mark, and his generous-hearted wife, Bonnie, and my in-laws, Osamu and Yoko Miyamoto, have always been ready and willing to offer support and love to me and to my beautiful wife and daughters.

Huge thanks to Erik and Sandy Borg—who, in a crucial moment, helped me find my way onto the road upon which I continue to trudge.

Much love to my earliest soul mates in All Nite Rave—that’s you, Jim DeLozier and your awesome parents Terry and Joan.

Massive gratitude to those whose professional support lives in me every day: Joerg Bose, Maggie Decker, Roger Mills, Joseph Solomita, Sandra Buechler, and Brian Sweeney.

And, wave upon wave of gratitude and love for those who continue to sustain my soul: Chris Borg, Mike Dalla, John (Purple) Turi, Kristy (La Sirena) Matthews, Bill Zunkel, Chris Mertz, Jeanne Henry, Byron Abel, Greg Hex, Jason Kaja, Tim Barnes, David Kopstein, Seal Beach Surf Crew (wearin’ “Dog Shoes”), 12th Street, and Ronda Hampton. Wouldn’t have made it without y’all!

It should go without saying—but I’m not going to allow it to—that my utmost gratitude goes to my partners, friends, and coauthors, Grant and Danny, without whom this project could never have gotten from Zero to One.