Читать книгу To the Ends of the Earth - Mark C. McCann - Страница 9

Week 1

The Love of the Husband for His Bride

Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church, his body, and is himself its Savior. As the Church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the Church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. Even so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ does the Church, because we are members of his body. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

Ephesians 5:21–31

As Catholic men, we are commanded to love our wives as Christ loves the Church. Christ deeply desires that Catholic men who are called to marriage should live out their duties as husbands with utmost fidelity. Marriage involves intimacy and vulnerability. With the exception of Jesus, perhaps no one knows us more intimately than our wives. Unfortunately, sometimes as men our egos outweigh our virtues, and this can make being a good husband a challenging task. When this happens, we become weaker in our witness and lacking in our leadership, because we fail to honor the helpmate God has given us and fall short in our call to love her as Christ loves the Church.

Sadly, many men have taken the passage quoted above from Ephesians and turned it into an excuse for dominating their wives and lording it over their families. Too often men insist on being “King of the Castle,” but they don’t act like true kings. After all, if we want to be kings in our homes, are we willing to treat our wives like queens? Do we serve and protect them, lovingly and sacrificially leading them to a deeper holiness day by day? Do we cherish our wives for who they are and who they are becoming in Christ? As husbands, our call is to love our wives as we love ourselves.

Those who are single are not free from the principles of this passage either. Just as a married man is called to be faithful and chaste toward his wife, unmarried men are to treat women with the utmost respect and dignity, showing them the same love Jesus showed to his mother and the women who followed him. This is true of all women, but in a special way women in the Church are our sisters in Christ. Our call always is to work together to build one another up as we become all we can be as the Body of Christ.

Let us look at some principles from Saint Paul’s Letter to the Ephesians that can help us grow as Christian witnesses over the next week:

1. Relationships are all about mutual submission.

As men, we are to yield to those things that God has established for marriage or single life for the sake of his kingdom. We should assume our role as husband, priest, brother, or layman and live it out as God intended. This begins with seeking to grow in mutual submission with the women in our lives. Husbands must be willing to sacrifice their needs for their wives, and all men must accept their call to raise up women in beauty and strength as they live out their vocations as wives, mothers, or single women within the kingdom.

2. Headship is about deliverance, not domination.

As husbands, our role as head of the household is to deliver our wives over to Christ in beauty and perfection, not to rule over them. This applies in similar ways to single men as well as those in the priesthood and religious life. True headship respects and appreciates the gifts and godliness of others and what they have to offer to our families and the Church. How we treat others reveals the principles of the kingdom and draws the family of God together in love. Being a servant leader is truly an awesome responsibility for men.

3. Our love should be sacrificial, not selfish.

Many men claim that they would die for their wives, yet they refuse to help with the chores or the children. Real love puts the women in our lives in an exalted place and calls us to lay down our comforts, our needs, our dreams, and our very lives for their betterment. What sort of witnesses are we if we fail to yield ourselves for the sake of the ones we love the most?

4. “Cherish” is the watchword of a man’s every action.

Husbands should be helplessly and hopelessly in love with our wives, holding every moment of our marriages as sacred and beautiful. Loving our wives should be a delight and our deepest desire. For the pastor or the religious or lay leader, our love for others, especially women, should reflect God’s love for them, and not our selfish wants and needs. The key is recognizing the unique dignity of each person who is a part of our lives.

5. We are to leave the safety of childhood in order to assume our role as godly men.

In marriage, we leave our former life and join to our wife, becoming one in body and spirit. We commit exclusively to our wife, forsaking all others in order to serve and love her, witnessing to the sacrificial and complete love of Christ in all we say and do. All Catholic men, as well, should strive to be the best versions of ourselves as we move from dependence and childhood into the maturity of our adult vocation as husband, priest, religious, or single layperson.

This Week’s Call to Action

As we know all too well, the truth is most marriages are a far cry from the sacrificial example Paul describes in Ephesians 5. For the husband, this week, make an extra effort to be the man your wife needs you to be. Study what it really means to love your wife as Christ loves the Church. If you are single, take time to pray over these lessons and reflect on the vocation to marriage and fatherhood. Whether God is calling you to this vocation or to religious or single life, it is important to recognize and celebrate the deep beauty and holiness of marriage as God intended it. In all you do, let your actions witness to the same selfless love that Jesus showed to every person as you live out your vocation within the family of faith.

Marriage and manhood are about mutual respect, self-sacrifice, and walking hand in hand with those we love toward eternity every single day. Talk to Jesus and ask him what he wants from you with regard to your marriage or your life of dedication to him. Let the sacraments, particularly confession and the Eucharist, help strengthen you to love your family and your family of faith as Christ loves the Church. Dig deep into God’s Word to guide you. Seek brothers who will hold you accountable for your conduct and guide you in your duties as a witness to the gospel to all those in your life.

Part of the responsibility of husbands is to witness the love of Christ to the world in how we protect, serve, and support our wives. As we live out our marriage vows in fidelity, we stand together with our spouses and demonstrate the kind of sacrificial love that characterizes our Catholic faith. For those in religious and single life, the call to live pure and holy in the world as servant leaders is a vital part of our unity as members of the Body of Christ.

Sunday

This week you will focus on the beauty of marriage, the responsibility of true headship, and the connection between marriage and Christ’s love for his Church. As you reflect and pray, keep in mind that headship involves mutual submission, deliverance, sacrifice, and deep love. In marriage you leave your old life behind and cling to your wife in mutual love and submission. Understanding this, we will also consider the deeper implications of marriage in the larger picture of what it means to be Church. Those who are unmarried can apply these lessons to their individual vocations as well. Remember that as men you are called to be servant leaders, witnesses to the awesome sacrificial love that revealed itself in the life, death, and resurrection of Christ.

This Sunday at Mass reflect on the way the Church celebrates the spiritual rebirth we have received through the cross. The Eucharist points forward to the great Wedding Feast when the Bride of Christ, the Church, will be united forever with Christ her Bridegroom. If you keep a journal, reflect and write today about how the readings, the prayers, and the celebration of the Eucharist reflect our great call to become the pure and spotless Bride of Christ. Listen for the ways in which the Lord is speaking to you about your marriage or single vocation, encouraging you to pour yourselves into the lives of your loved ones, as Christ poured out his life for his Church.

Questions for reflection

If you are a husband, do you strive to love your wife the way Christ loves the Church? How can you do this with more intention, starting today? How can you and your wife work together to make your marriage a living witness to the world?

If you are currently single or called to a single life, do you live out your vocation in such a way that you reflect the sacrificial love of Christ who gave himself up for the world? What practical steps can you take to become a man truly dedicated to serving God with your whole heart?

Praying with Scripture

“Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them” (Col 3:19).

Monday

Relationships Are about Mutual Submission

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” So out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all cattle, and to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for the man there was not found a helper fit for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh; and the rib which the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked, and were not ashamed.

Genesis 2:18–25

God created man and woman to be co-equal partners in the economy of his creation. In chapter 2 of Genesis, we see Adam giving names to the animals, which means he has dominion over them and is superior to them. Only the woman, bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh, is equal in mind, body, and soul. In becoming one flesh, man and woman have the power to create new human life. Man and woman each have dignity and a role that is divinely assigned. They are equal in stature and mutual in submission. Each is to yield to the other: man subordinating his needs in order to protect and care for his wife, and woman accepting her role as helper to be the complementary partner to her husband.

Sadly, the equality and mutual submission between man and woman was wounded in the Fall. Now, each seeks to dominate and rule over the other. Yet in Christ that original dignity has been healed and restored. This means that we, as men, have the awesome privilege and responsibility of raising up the dignity of men and women and marriage by the way we witness to these powerful truths in our lives. Are we willing to yield to God’s will in putting the needs of our wives, our congregations, our Christian brothers and sisters, and our world before our own? How can we allow the grace of God to guide our lives so that every thought, every word, and every action is a sign of God’s will for his holy Bride, the Church? Remember our roles as husbands, leaders, and men are linked to the roles of Christ and his Church.

Questions for reflection

Where do you see signs that the original dignity of marriage has been marred by sin?

Husbands, how can you become more in tune with your role as husband and partner to your wife?

Single men, what can you do this week to live more in submission to your divinely assigned role?

Praying with Scripture

“And God blessed them, and God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it’” (Gen 1:28a).

Tuesday

Headship Is about Deliverance, Not Domination

And from the throne came a voice crying,

“Praise our God, all you his servants,

you who fear him, small and great.”

Then I heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude, like the sound of many waters and like the sound of mighty thunder peals, crying,

“Hallelujah! For the Lord our God the Almighty reigns.

Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory,

for the marriage of the Lamb has come,

and his Bride has made herself ready;

it was granted her to be clothed with fine linen, bright and pure” —

for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints.

Revelation 19:5–8

Many men have abdicated their responsibility to love their wives in a sinful quest for dominance over them. Tragically, too many pastors have done the same with their congregations. Headship, however, was never supposed to be about being “in charge;” rather, it was about sharing our lives with those in our care in such a way that we raise them up in beauty and self-worth. Wives are a gift to their husbands, and congregations are a gift to their pastors. Our call is not to benefit from what we can receive, but to deliver our wives or our congregations back to Christ in the perfection of his grace.

Jesus died to restore the original intent of marriage and to reestablish the roles of men and women as they were meant to be. He formed the Church as his Bride and is bringing her to perfection so that he can present her as spotless and pure when he returns in glory. Marriage is a reflection of that purification. As husbands, we are to love our wives and to allow them to help shape our lives as we grow in grace to become all that God has called us to be. Pastors and ministers too, are called to love those in their care and to allow those daily interactions to shape them as men and help them to grow as leaders. As Catholic men, we need to take seriously our call to love others to the full, and to grow in grace so that together, husbands and wives, pastors and congregations, can become the sign of Christ’s pure and powerful love bestowed upon the world.

Questions for reflection

Husbands, how does your sinful, selfish side show itself in your marriage? Have you ever sought to dominate your wife rather than love her?

Pastors and leaders, how can you reflect more fully the character of Christ in your ministry?

What is one important thing you can do this week to help other men honor their wives?

Praying with Scripture

“For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called” (Is 54:5).

Wednesday

Our Love Should Be Sacrificial, Not Selfish

Then La’ban said to Jacob, “Because you are my kinsman, should you therefore serve me for nothing? Tell me, what shall your wages be?” Now La’ban had two daughters; the name of the older was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. Leah’s eyes were weak, but Rachel was beautiful and lovely. Jacob loved Rachel; and he said, “I will serve you seven years for your younger daughter Rachel.” La’ban said, “It is better that I give her to you than that I should give her to any other man; stay with me.” So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed to him but a few days because of the love he had for her.

Genesis 29:15–20

Catholic husbands are called to love our wives as Christ loves the Church (cf. Eph 5:25). Christ gave everything for his Bride and is leading the Church toward perfection as the day approaches when he will come again in glory. The sacrificial nature of that love cannot be overstated. If we are to mirror that same love for our wives, we must be willing to put our wives before our own needs. This does not mean we never pursue our dreams or take time to enjoy our lives; but it does mean that we decide when and where to place those dreams on hold and put our own pleasures aside in ministering to the needs of our wives.

For all men, married or single, this kind of sacrificial love must encompass the whole of our relationships. Men are willing to protect women, but do we show them the affection, comfort, and respect they deserve? Being the head of a household does not exclude us from helping to care for our homes and our children. True sacrificial love manifests itself in the smallest concerns as well as the largest. When we give ourselves to our wives fully, our labors become light indeed because of the love we share. Like Jacob, we should see our labors as nothing compared with the joy we find in pleasing our spouses and walking alongside them on the journey of salvation. This kind of love is a powerful example that all men, single or married, can live out in the larger arena of the Church and the world.

Questions for reflection

Husbands, what is the most delightful thing about being married to your wife? In what areas of your marriage can you adopt a more sacrificial attitude? Can you share this with her?

Single men, how does the powerful witness of a godly marriage mirror the way you should love the world?

How can you help other men to live out a greater witness of a godly and sacrificial marriage?

Praying with Scripture

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord” (Prv 18:22).

Thursday

“Cherish” Is the Watchword of a Man’s Every Action

You are all fair, my love;

there is no flaw in you.

Come with me from Lebanon, my bride;

come with me from Lebanon….

You have ravished my heart, my sister, my bride,

you have ravished my heart with a glance of your eyes,

with one jewel of your necklace.

How sweet is your love, my sister, my bride!

how much better is your love than wine,

and the fragrance of your oils than any spice!

Your lips distil nectar, my bride;

honey and milk are under your tongue;

the scent of your garments is like the scent of Lebanon.

Song of Solomon 4:7–8a, 9–11

Many people believe that the “romance phase” of marriage exists only in the early years of the relationship. Over time, the passion gives way to familiarity and contentment. But this is not what God intended for marriage. While the physical aspects of love may lessen a little as our responsibilities in marriage change and grow, there is no reason why the passion needs to fade. The one who captured our heart can continue to cause it to beat with intensity and desire, if we understand the secret to making love last.

For those in ministry and single life this same passion, while not romantic in nature, can be an ever-flowing source of Christ’s grace to the Church and the world. The excitement and wonder of our vocations need not wax and wane with the years, but can be continually transformed as we live out the love of Christ by our words and deeds.

To cherish means to take delight, to love with a fire that pours itself out into actions, to seek to become a living sign of Christ in the unity and mutual love we share. As husbands cultivate love for their wives and as ministers cultivate their passion for their ministries, no matter how long the journey, our eyes should open wider to the wonder and beauty of our sacred vocations. Each experience of our marriage or our ministry, the trials and the treasures, the “for better or worse,” should help to shape the oneness that we share together in Christ.

Questions for reflection

Husbands, what are some concrete ways you can work to grow in love for your wife?

What does real passion and sold-out love in marriage or ministry look like? Is this the love you live out through your witness to the gospel and your holy vocation every day?

How can you become more focused on the One who is the source and goal of your marriage or ministry?

Praying with Scripture

“How fair and pleasant you are, O loved one, delectable maiden!” (Song of Solomon 7:6).

Friday

Leaving the Safety of Childhood in Order to Assume our Role as Godly Men

And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to put her away.” But Jesus said to them, “For your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.”

Mark 10:2–9

For most husbands, if we are honest, many of us have seriously contemplated divorce at some point in our marriages. And those in consecrated single life may have wondered what life would be like in marriage. Struggles and trials can get the better of us, temptations tug at our restless minds during periods of boredom, or we simply forget what it means to love our wives or our vocations as Christ loves the Church. Whatever the circumstance, coming close to the conclusion that leaving is better than staying the course is a frightening thought. We wondered if our marriage or ministry could survive, or if it would be better just to make a fresh start. Christ, however, has a better way.

Jesus took us back to the beginning to reaffirm the dignity and permanence of marriage. It is a bond so powerful and so beautiful that it causes a man to leave his father and mother and cling to his wife. In this unique bond of love, a man and woman become one flesh and mirror the marriage of Christ to his Church. God wants husbands to consider this union so sacred that we hold onto it and strive with all that we are to bring it to perfection in him.

Divorce violates God’s law of love for the sacredness of marriage. Yet for those men who have undergone the pain of divorce, there is hope in the forgiveness and comfort of a merciful God. Men can rediscover the beauty God intended for marriage in how they move forward in faith after a divorce, how they treat their former spouse, and how they care for the children of the separated union. And all men, married or single, can minister to the separated and divorced and bring the love of the Church to bear upon those who have suffered. Our witness should always be for the love of God that is so beautifully reflected in the Sacrament of Marriage.

Questions for reflection

Have there been times of struggle within your marriage? What have those struggles looked like?

How can your life today give witness to God’s command to honor the beauty and permanence of marriage?

How can you help and support a brother who is struggling in his marriage and perhaps considering divorce?

Praying with Scripture

“Hear, O daughter, consider, and incline your ear; forget your people and your father’s house; and the king will desire your beauty. Since he is your lord, bow to him” (Ps 45:10–11).

Saturday

Go Deeper

For husbands

What are the greatest gifts my wife has brought to my life?

In what ways have I worked to live in mutual submission with my wife? If not, what selfish habits or tendencies stand in my way?

When have I misused my role as head of my household to dominate my wife and family?

When have I abdicated my role as head of my household out of selfishness, laziness, or fear?

What specifically can I do in the coming weeks to commit to a more sacrificial marital lifestyle so that my marriage will be a shining witness of the love of Christ for his Church?

Do I cherish my wife and build her up to present her pure to Christ? How have I failed to do this? How can I strive to do better?

For those who are not married

How do I recognize and honor the dignity and permanence of the marriage bond through my daily words and actions?

If I feel called to the vocation of marriage, do I pray regularly for my future bride? How am I preparing myself now to witness to Christ’s sacrificial love through my marriage?