Читать книгу Promise Forever - Marta Perry - Страница 10

Had she ever felt quite this miserable? Miranda sat on the porch swing, staring across the width of the inland waterway at the sunset over the mainland. Maybe, when she was eighteen and discovering that she couldn’t function in Tyler’s world. And that her fairy-tale marriage wouldn’t survive the strain.

At the sight of Tyler standing in the hallway that afternoon, all the pain of losing him had surged out of hiding. Tyler was back—Tyler knew about Sammy. Somehow she had to come to terms with that.

This old swing, on the porch that stretched comfortably across the front of the inn, had always been a refuge. It wasn’t today.

She closed her eyes, letting the sunset paint itself on the inside of her lids. Lord, I don’t know what to do.

No, that wasn’t quite right. She knew what she had to do. She had to tell Sammy his father was here, before her son heard it from someone else. She just didn’t know how.

Please, Lord, help me find the words to tell Sammy without hurting him. Panic gripped her heart. Don’t let Tyler’s coming hurt him. He’s so young.

Certainly there weren’t any easy words for this situation. Telling her family that Tyler was here had been difficult enough—telling her son would be infinitely worse.

Her mother had been comforting, her father rigidly fair, silencing the angry clamor of her three brothers, who wanted to dump Tyler into the deepest part of the channel. Her sister, Chloe, married now, hadn’t been present, but she’d undoubtedly join them as soon as she heard.

Her father had been firm. Tyler had a right to see his son, Clayton Caldwell had said. They’d have to put up with it, for Sammy’s sake.

That had been the only thing that would make the twins and Theo behave, she suspected. David and Daniel considered themselves substitute fathers, while Theo had always been a big brother to his ten-years-younger nephew. None of them would do anything to hurt Sammy.

She rubbed her forehead tiredly, then tilted her head to stare at the porch ceiling, painted blue as the sky. She cherished her family, but coping with their reactions had made it impossible for her to work through her own feelings about Tyler’s reappearance.

Maybe she wouldn’t have been able to, anyway. Just the thought of him seemed to paralyze her with shock.

“Momma?” Sammy pushed through the screen door and let it bang behind him. “Grandma says you want to talk to me.”

She forced down a spurt of panic and patted the chintz-cushioned seat next to her. Please, Lord.

“Come sit by me, sugar. We need to talk.”

Sammy scooted onto the swing. Those jeans were getting too short already, she noticed automatically. He was going to have his father’s height.

His face clouded. “I studied for my arithmetic test. Honest.”

She was briefly diverted, wondering how Sammy had done on that test. What she had to tell him made arithmetic unimportant for the moment.

“I know you did.” She ruffled his hair, and he dodged away from the caress as he’d been doing for the last year or so, aware of being a big kid now. For an instant she longed to have her baby back again, so that she could savor every single experience.

Tyler had missed all those moments. Tension clutched her stomach. Was he angry about that? Or just angry that she hadn’t told him about his son?

Sammy wiggled. “Is somethin’ wrong?”

“No. I just need to tell you something.” She hesitated, searching for the words.

“Somethin’ bad?”

Sammy must be picking up on her apprehension, and that was the last thing she wanted. She forced a smile. “No, not bad. Just sort of surprising.”

Say it, she commanded.

“You know the man who was here this afternoon, when you got home from school?”

He nodded.

She took a breath. “Well, that was…Tyler Winchester.”

Sammy jerked upright on the swing. “My father?”

“Your father. He came to see you.”

Her son’s small face tightened into an expression that reminded her of his grandfather’s when faced with an unpalatable truth. “He never wanted to before.”

“Sugar…” He didn’t know about you. Her throat closed at the thought of saying that. She ought to, but she couldn’t.

“He wants to see you,” she said finally. “He wants to get to know you.”

Sammy slid off the swing and stood rigidly in front of her, his solemn expression at odds with his cartoon-character T-shirt. “When?”

“Maybe tomorrow after school?” She made it a question. “If that’s okay with you.”

“I’ll think on it.” That was what her father always said when presented with a problem. I’ll think on it.

“All right.” She was afraid to say more.

He went to the door, his small shoulders held stiffly. Then he paused. “Will you come up and say good-night?”

She couldn’t let her voice choke. “In a minute.”

She watched him disappear into the house. He’d taken it quietly, as he did everything, but this was a bigger crisis than he’d ever had to cope with in his young life. And she was to blame.

Had it really been for Sammy’s sake that she’d hidden his existence from Tyler? She struggled to say the truth, at least to herself.

She’d been so distraught when she’d come home from Baltimore, her marriage in tatters, that she hadn’t even realized what was happening to her body. By the time she did, she’d already been served with the divorce papers. The trek she’d made to Baltimore in a futile effort to see Tyler and tell him had only convinced her that their marriage was over.

She crossed her arms, hugging herself against the breeze off the water. She’d made her choice. This was the world for her son—the secluded island, the patient pace of life, the shabby inn, the sprawling Caldwell clan who’d accepted him without question as one of them.

Now Tyler was back, with his money and his power and his high-pressure life. He wanted to see his son.

What if he tried to take Sammy away? The question ripped through her on a tidal wave of panic. She wasn’t as naive now as she’d been at eighteen, but she still knew that power and money could sometimes overcome justice.

The Winchester wealth might dazzle Sammy. She couldn’t compete with all the things Tyler could give him.

Worse, Sammy could risk loving him, as she had. What were the chances Tyler would walk away again, leaving broken hearts behind?

Tyler pulled into the shell-covered driveway of the Dolphin Inn that evening, his lights reflecting from the eyes of a shaggy yellow dog who looked at him as if deciding whether to sound an alarm. His son’s dog?

That was one of the many things he didn’t know about his child. Maybe that was why he hadn’t been able to stay in his room at the island’s only resort hotel.

He’d never intended to start a family. The example his parents had set would be enough to sour anyone on the prospect of parenthood. It was too late now. He’d fathered a child.

Deep inside a little voice said, Run. Go back to Baltimore, forget this ever happened.

Tempting, but impossible. Would he eliminate those days with Miranda if he could, even knowing how their relationship would end?

Of course. Their marriage had been a mistake, pure and simple, born out of sunshine and sultry breezes.

He got out of the car, his footsteps quiet on the shell-encrusted walk. The dog, apparently deciding he wasn’t a threat, padded silently beside him. He rounded the building and had to force himself to keep walking.

Miranda’s family waited on the wraparound porch, at least the masculine portion of it. She’d told them.

Tension grabbed his stomach. They had no reason to welcome him. They couldn’t stop him, but they could make this more difficult if they chose.

“Evenin’.” Clayton Caldwell didn’t offer his hand, but at least he didn’t seem to be holding a shotgun.

“Mr. Caldwell.” He stopped at the bottom of the porch steps. “Is Miranda here? I’d like to talk with her.” Has she told our son about me?

Miranda’s youngest brother shoved himself away from the porch railing. “Maybe she doesn’t want to talk to you.”

The kid’s name floated up from the past. Theo. Theo had the height of all the Caldwell men, even at seventeen or so. Dislike emanated from him.

“That’s enough, Theo.” Clayton’s soft Southern voice carried authority. He eyed Tyler for a moment. “Miranda’s down at the dock.”

Tyler jerked a nod, then spun away from their combined stares. He walked toward the dock that jutted into the channel between Caldwell Island and the mainland, aware of the men’s gazes boring into his back.

Miranda stood with her hands braced against the railing, her jeans and white shirt blending into a background of water and sky. She must have heard his footsteps crossing the shell pathway, then thudding onto the weathered wooden boards. She didn’t turn.

Caldwell boats curtseyed gently on the tide on either side of the dock as he approached Miranda. Her slim form was rigid.

Slim, yes, but there was a soft roundness to her figure. The bronze hair that had once rippled halfway down her back brushed her shoulders.

It’s been eight years, he reminded himself irritably. Neither of us are kids any longer. If they hadn’t been kids, fancying themselves Romeo and Juliet when their families tried to part them, maybe that hasty marriage would never have happened.

Then there’d be no Sammy. The thought hit him starkly. That would be a harsh trade for an untroubled conscience.

Miranda turned toward him, her reluctance palpable. He looked at her without the anger that had colored his image of her earlier.

Her shy eagerness had been replaced by maturity. She probably had a serene face for anyone but him.

That serenity had been the first thing that attracted him to her. She’d worn her serenity like a shield even while she waited tables at the yacht club, taking flak from spoiled little rich kids. Like he had been.

Just now her body was tight with apprehension, her face wary. She stood outlined against the darkening sky, and the breeze from the water ruffled her hair.

One of them had to break the awkward silence. “Should I have called before I came over?”

She shook her head, the movement sending strands of coppery hair across her cheek. “It’s all right. I thought you’d probably come back tonight.” A ghost of a smile touched her lips. “We have things to settle, I guess.”

“Yes.” He bit back the horde of questions he wanted to throw at her. Why didn’t you tell me? She still hadn’t answered that one to his satisfaction. “I take it you’ve told your family.”

“I didn’t have a choice. You can’t come back to a small place like Caldwell Cove after all these years and not cause comment. You must remember what the grapevine is like.”

“We were summer people. The island never included us.”

Her face shadowed, and he almost regretted his words. Summer people. The wealthy visitors who owned or rented the big houses down by the yacht club had always maintained a clear division between themselves and the islanders.

“I guess not,” she said carefully.

“Did you tell Sammy?”

She rubbed her arms, as if seeking warmth. “I told him.”

“How did he take it?” He didn’t know if he wanted his son to be glad or sorry he was here.

“He was upset. Confused.” She shook her head, and he saw the stark pain in her eyes. “I tried to explain.”

“I hope you did a better job of explaining it to him than you did to me.”

“That’s not fair.”

“Funny, but I don’t feel too much like being fair, Miranda.” The anger he’d thought he had under control spurted out. “It isn’t every day I find out a girl from my past had a baby she never bothered telling me about.”

“I tried to tell you.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Tried how? I wasn’t that hard to find. A letter or phone call would have done it.”

Some emotion he couldn’t identify flickered across her face. Once he’d known the meaning of her every look, every gesture. At least he’d told himself he did. Maybe that had been an illusion.

“I came to Baltimore,” she said slowly, not looking at him. “Not long after I’d gotten the papers.”

He didn’t need to ask what papers. His mother had wielded the Winchester clout as easily as his father. She’d pushed the divorce through in record time.

“You didn’t oppose the divorce.” That wasn’t what he’d intended to say, but it just came out.

“No, I…” She stopped, seeming to censor whatever she’d been about to say. “That doesn’t matter now.”

He leaned against the weathered railing next to her, studying her down-tilted face and wishing he could see her eyes. “If you came to Baltimore, I didn’t see you.”

“I changed my mind,” she said carefully. “I did what I thought was best for all of us. Maybe I was wrong, but it’s too late now.”

He stared at her, frowning. He wanted to push for answers, but maybe she had a point.

“All right, forget what we did or didn’t do then.” He didn’t think he could, but he’d try. “Let’s talk about now. Is Sammy angry about his father showing up after all this time?”

“Not angry, no.” Her grip on the railing seemed to ease. “Confused, as I said, but he’s a much-loved, secure child. He can deal with this.”

None of that love and security in Sammy’s life came from his father. Well, fair enough. Tyler hadn’t had that from his father, either.

Again he had the urge to walk away. All he could offer this child was money. He’d lost the capacity to form close relationships a long time ago, if he’d ever had it.

He couldn’t leave until he’d talked with Sammy. He owed both of them that much, at least.

“When can I meet him?” He threw the question at Miranda.

Her soft mouth tightened. “I suggested tomorrow, and he said he’d think about it. I’d like to let him agree without pressuring him.”

Was she trying to get out of it? “I have a business to run, Miranda. Tomorrow after school. I’ll be here.”

Her head came up, and she glared at him, then jerked a nod. “I’ll talk to him about it.”

“Tomorrow after school. I’ll see you then.”

He pushed away from the railing. He’d gotten what he’d come for. He had no reason to linger.

Miranda took a quick step, stopping him. “I said I’d talk to him, Tyler. I’m not going to force him to do something he doesn’t want to, just because you’re in a hurry.”

He swung toward her, and they stood only inches apart. He could read the expression in her eyes—she was wishing for distance between them. He reached out and caught her wrists in his hands, feeling smooth, warm skin and a pulse that thundered against his palms.

“It’s already been his lifetime, Miranda. I won’t wait.”

“Fine.” She jerked her hands free, and fierce maternal love blazed in her face. “Just you be careful of what you say to him. If you hurt Sammy, I promise you, I’ll make you regret you ever heard of Caldwell Cove.”

“Chocolate, vanilla or something more exotic?” Tyler lifted his eyebrow as he asked the question, and Miranda tried not to let that simple movement affect her. She was immune to Tyler Winchester’s charm—she’d gotten there the hard way.

She concentrated on the list of flavors posted behind the counter in the ice-cream shop. “I’ll have the peanut-butter ripple.”

Taking a walk through town with Sammy after school had been her idea. It seemed so much less intimidating than pushing the boy into a face-to-face interview with a father he didn’t know.

She’d suggested to Sammy that they show Tyler around Caldwell Cove, not that there was much to see. The village still lay in a sedate crescent along the inland waterway, anchored by the inn at one end and Uncle Jeff’s mansion at the other. The spire of St. Andrew’s Church bisected the village. Little had changed since Tyler was here last, except for the new resort hotel down near the yacht club.

She had an ulterior motive for this walk. She wanted Tyler to understand that Sammy belonged here. Sammy’s happiness didn’t depend on anything his father could give him. Maybe when Tyler realized that, he could go away with a clear conscience.

Tyler handed Sammy a chocolate cone, then took a small vanilla for himself. Conservative, she thought. When had Tyler become conservative?

When he’d been drawn back into the Winchester way of life, probably. He’d slipped into his father’s place as CEO of Winchester Industries, apparently forgetting that he’d ever had other dreams.

Concentrate on the present, she ordered herself. Don’t succumb to the lure of the past.

They stepped onto the narrow street bordered by the docks, and she looked for an inspiration to give them something to talk about.

“Sammy, why don’t you tell your father about the boatyard.”

Her son didn’t seem too enthusiastic about his role as tour guide. He licked, then pointed with an ice-cream daubed finger toward the docks and storage sheds lining the quay.

“That’s Cousin Adam’s boatyard. He fixed Grandpa’s fishing boat when the motor died.”

“Adam took all of us on the schooner for Pirate Days, remember?” she prompted.

Enthusiasm replaced the caution in Sammy’s face as he turned to Tyler. “That was really cool. I got to help put up the sails and everything. Cousin Adam’s going to give me sailing lessons this summer. He says me and Jenny are big enough to learn.”

“Jenny is Adam’s little girl,” she explained. “You must remember Adam, don’t you?”

“I remember Adam.” His expression suggested the memory wasn’t a happy one. “As I recall, he, um—” he glanced at Sammy “—suggested it would be better if I didn’t see you.”

She felt her cheeks grow warm and hoped he’d attribute it to the March sunshine. “I didn’t know that.” It made sense. Adam, Uncle Jefferson’s older son, belonged to the rich branch of the family, the one that sometimes frequented the yacht club. He would have heard the rumors that his little cousin, who was supposed to be waiting tables at the club, was instead dating a wealthy summer visitor.

“Your ice cream is dripping.” Tyler reached out with a napkin and dabbed at her chin just as she ducked away from his touch. His fingers brushed her cheek instead, and her skin seemed to burn where they touched.

“I’ll get it,” she said hurriedly, hoping the napkin she raised to her lips hid her confusion. She couldn’t be reacting to Tyler. She was immune to him. Remember?

“Mine’s getting away from me, too.” Tyler licked around the top of the cone, where the ice cream had begun a slow trail toward his fingers. “I’d forgotten how hot it can be on the island in March.”

“Summer’s on its way,” she said, then regretted that she’d mentioned the season. Tyler wasn’t to know it, but summer always brought back memories of him. She glanced at his face involuntarily, then wondered how often this adult version of her first love indulged in something as simple as an ice-cream cone.

Tyler licked a froth of vanilla from his lips, drawing her gaze. He’d always had a well-shaped mouth. He didn’t smile as easily now as he had when she’d known him, and she didn’t think that was entirely due to current circumstances. Maybe Tyler didn’t find much to smile about anymore.

It probably would be an excellent idea to stop looking at Tyler’s lips. Next she’d be remembering how they felt on hers, and things could only get worse from there.

They strolled along the tabby sidewalk, uneven from the shells that formed part of the concrete, worn by a century or two of foot traffic. Live oaks shaded them, and Sammy hopped carefully over a crack in the walk.

Concentrate on what you’re doing, she commanded herself. “Don’t you want to tell your father about your school?” she asked.

Sammy flicked a faintly rebellious look toward her. “That’s it.” He waved at the white frame building, set in its grove of palmettos, that had served the island’s children for over a hundred years. “I’m almost done with second grade.”

“Looks as if the building’s been there a hundred years.” Tyler said just what she’d been thinking, but it didn’t seem complimentary when he said it.

“It’s a good school.” She hoped she didn’t sound defensive. What if Tyler thought his son should go away to some private academy? The idea turned her ice cream to ashes.

“Equipped with the latest in chalkboards, no doubt.”

She felt diminished by his sarcasm, and that angered her. “Our classrooms have computers. We’re not exactly living in the dark ages here.”

“I like my school.” Sammy stopped, frowning at Tyler with an expression so like his father’s it nearly stopped her heart. “You shouldn’t put it down just because it’s not new and fancy.”

Tyler looked baffled, and little wonder. He probably hadn’t expected Sammy to pick up on the byplay between adults.

She was tempted to let him stew, but she couldn’t. If she didn’t take pity on Tyler’s efforts with Sammy, she would only hurt her son.

“Why don’t we have a game of catch.” She nodded toward the playground where island children had played under the spreading branches of the live oaks for years. “I brought the ball.” She pulled it from her bag and tossed it to Tyler, stepping onto the grass.

He caught it automatically. “I don’t think…”

She frowned him to silence. Didn’t he see she was trying to help him? “Sammy wants to play T-ball this summer. I’ll bet he could use some practice.”

“Sure. Right.” He swallowed the last of his cone and threw the ball to Sammy, then patted an imaginary glove. “Throw it in here, Sammy.”

Sammy lobbed it to Miranda instead. She didn’t miss the quick flare of irritation on Tyler’s face. Well, he couldn’t expect this to be simple, could he?

Temptation whispered in her ear again. It would be so easy to be sure Sammy didn’t warm up to his father. So easy, and so wrong. Even if it insured that Tyler would go away, she couldn’t do it.

Her throw went a little high, and Sammy had to reach for it. He wore a surprised look when he came down with the ball.

“Good catch, Sammy.” Tyler’s voice had just the right amount of enthusiasm. Sammy responded with a cautious smile.

Tyler blinked, his face softening with the effect of that smile. Her eyes stung with tears, and she was grateful for the sunglasses that shielded them. Tyler didn’t need to know that it moved her to see Sammy playing with his father.

That wasn’t the purpose of this little excursion, remember? You’re supposed to be showing Tyler what a happy life Sammy has here so he’ll soothe his conscience and go away.

Tyler’s comments about getting back to his business had confirmed what she’d already suspected—he’d turned into the same driven businessman his father had been. She’d known that would happen when he’d insisted they move back to Baltimore after his father’s death.

Their dreams of settling down on the island and starting a small business had vanished like the mist. Tyler hadn’t had time for that. Now the CEO of Winchester Industries probably didn’t like to take time for a simple game of catch.

“Try it this way.” Tyler walked over to Sammy, reaching toward him to correct his throw.

Sammy jerked away. “I don’t want to.”

“Sammy,” she began, but what could she say? Be polite to the father you’ve never seen before didn’t seem to cover it.

Her son frowned, first at her, then at Tyler. “Why do you want to play ball now? You never even wanted to see me before.”

Miranda’s heart thudded. There it was, the question she didn’t want to answer. But she didn’t have a choice.

She couldn’t look at Tyler. She didn’t even want to meet her son’s eyes, but she forced herself to. “Sammy, that’s not fair.”

“It is, too.” His fists curled. “He could’ve come, but he didn’t.”

“No, he couldn’t.” She felt Tyler’s gaze on her.

“Why not?” Sammy demanded.

Truth time was here, and she wasn’t ready for it. She had to be. “Your daddy didn’t know about you.”

Her son stared at her.

She licked dry lips. “I never told your father about you.” She reached a hand toward Sammy, but he took a step back. “Sugar, I thought it was best.”

The words sounded feeble to her own ears. Hurt and accusation battled in Sammy’s face. As for Tyler…she could almost think that was pity in Tyler’s eyes.